(Just don’t expect a chance to offer him advice in between rounds.)
As you surely know by this point, Potato Nation, we are not the biggest fans of Bob Sapp. The man known as “The Beast” manages to somehow set the bar lower each time he steps into the ring, to the point that, if you don’t offer him a way out of the fight, he will simply collapse like he was hit with a stray bullet and roll around on the ground until the referee steps in. In fact, it’s safe to say that when all is said and done, Bob Sapp will probably go down as the worst fighter in the sport’s history (though from a technical standpoint, he is still leagues beyond Robert Burneika). And apparently we aren’t the only ones who share this sentiment.
But let today, May 2nd, 2012, forever be known as the day that Sapp redeemed at least part of his sham of a career, if not all of it. Fed up with all the “keyboard warrior” criticisms he has received in the past…ten years (many of which find their way to his Wikipedia page), Sapp is giving all you haters the chance to nut up or shut up. After Bob takes on Mariusz Pudzianowski at KSW 19 on May 12th, he will square off against UFC veteran Soa Palelei at CFC 21 in Australia just six days later. To help promote the event, Sapp is not only giving one lucky “fan” a chance to corner him for the fight, but he will also give said fan $300, a round trip ticket to Australia, hotel accommodations, and VIP access to the event.
And what do you have to enter this contest, you ask? The answer is simple: Create a video demonstrating your admiration or hatred of Bob Sapp and why you’d like to be in his corner, and post it on your Youtube account. We know, right? This contest is practically designed for you angst-ridden SOB’s.
We’ll give Sapp this; the man has no shame. Or shirts. These are two areas in which we are alike. But unlike us, Sapp actually chooses to address his haters, and deserves at least a little bit of respect for doing so. We know, we never thought we’d actually write the words “Bob Sapp” and “respect” in the same sentence either. Anyway, the contest rules are as follows:
1. Create a 30 second video bashing Sapp’s pathetic, meaningless existence on this planet and why you could be the cornerman to turn it all around.
2. Post your video on your Youtube channel and place it in the reply section of the above video. The video must contain the address “Youtube.com/BobSappTV” at some point.
3. Title your video “BobSappTV Video Contest.”
4. NO PROFANITY
You must be over the age of 21 and have a valid passport to enter. The winner will be chosen on May 13th.
Now, we know some of you possess the ability to be funny from time to time. The same goes twice over for your ability to insult, and we wouldn’t have it any other way. Given a muse as great as Sapp, we imagine you could cause some serious emotional damage in a 30 second time frame. We’re talking “send the last fragile remnants of Sapp’s intestinal fortitude crashing to the ground in a hail of metaphorical gunfire” kind of damage. You owe it to yourself, and to the MMA community for that matter, to enter this contest. And if the chance to watch Bob Sapp get viciously KO’d (or hilariously flop) in person isn’t enough to spur your interest, then we’ll give a t-shirt to the best entry sent to [email protected]. Sound good? Then dust off your Panasonic AG-450 S-VHS Reporter camcorders and put your time-tested trash-talking skills to the test!
-J. Jones