(Trust us, when this moment arrives you will be doing anything but laughing.)
When Jason “Mayhem” Miller was fired from the UFC, he was basically left with two career paths to follow. He could follow the path of guys like Joey Beltran or — to a lesser degree — Anthony Johnson, which is to say, recognizing his mistakes/flaws and trying to earn his way back into the promotion through hard work, a couple decent wins, and in his case, probably some begging. Or, he could take a page out of someone like Rampage Jackson’s book, which consists of complaining a lot, going on nonsensical Twitter rants, and acting like a delusional pyschopath at every possible turn.
It saddens us to inform you that Miller has apparently chosen the path of Charlie Sheen.
There are simply no words that aptly describe Miller’s recent appearance on The MMA Hour, but I’ll try to use a few: batshit, kerfuffle, delirium, wantwit, rudesby. Like sharting in a hot tub while on a blind date.
In a terribly misguided attempt to plug his upcoming film, Here Comes the Boom, Miller appeared on the radio show as his character from the movie, Lucky Patrick. But what began as a simple ruse quickly devolved into one of the most bizarre and outright sad things we have witnessed in the continually depressing downfall of “Mayhem” Miller. He referred to “Arius Heelwani” as a “Jew,” refused to break character or answer questions as to his current mental state (or perhaps answered them all, really), and vehemently stormed off the set 45 minutes short of its expected run time. As Helwani noted, Miller was clearly attempting to channel Andy Kaufman, but unfortunately came off looking a lot more like Crispin Glover.
Ariel was willing to play along with Miller’s shtick at first, but when it began to wear thin roughly two minutes in, Helwani tried to steer the conversation in a somewhat comprehensible direction. It is at this point that Mayhem decided to go full retard. I should not have to warn you about why one should never go full retard.
Helwani’s reaction quickly changed from jovial to concerned as he continued to try and “talk to Mayhem.” Suddenly, it’s as if we are watching a doctor try and reach the traumatic center of a schizophrenic child, and the gravity of Mayhem’s plight begins to settle in. After a few minutes of pointless back-and-forth, Miller became enraged that Helwani kept referring to him as “Mayhem” and stormed off the set amidst a cloud of cuss words and childish banter.
Ariel took a few minutes to collect himself and gave the following response:
Now, we understand that this write-up is only keeping Miller’s name on all of our tongues like he set out to do, but we are legitimately concerned for Mayhem’s well-being at this point. The fact that he wouldn’t even talk straight with Ariel when the segment was over should be the only indication we need as to the direction he is heading. We don’t know about you, but while watching the fourteenth season of The Ultimate Fighter, we thought Mayhem came across as a generally likable and intelligent guy. The fact that he’s let himself disintegrate into this is utterly tragic, and we sincerely hope that it doesn’t end in Miller harming himself or those around him.
I’m not normally one to offer inspirational words of advice, but I would recommend Miller take some time and reflect upon those penned by Marilyn vos Savant:
Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.
Best of luck to you, Jason.