In a sport as wild and unpredictable as MMA often is, perhaps it’s fitting that, less than a week after the “biggest card in UFC history” left us feeling cold and mostly underwhelmed, a humble, under-the-radar, and most importantly free card like Fight Night 91 would come along and collectively blow our goddamn socks off. It even finished wrapping up before midnight, if you can believe it!
What Fight Night 91 may have lacked in star power, it more than made up for in just excellent displays of guys and girls punching each other in the face. In the main event of the evening, devastating face-puncher John Lineker took on the similarly hard-hitting Michael McDonald in a bantamweight contest, and the result was right up there with Lineker’s battle against Francisco Rivera in terms of just how much face was punched inside the span of three minutes.
Video after the jump.
Rather than fill this section of the article with any analytical insight into just how good of a face puncher John Lineker is (he’s really, really good), we think it would be more appropriate to compile this list of 100% true facts about “Hands of Stone” that we posted to our Twitter as the fight was going on.
John Lineker angrily punched a wall in his bedroom once.
There were no survivors.
— CagePotato.com (@cagepotatomma) July 14, 2016
FACT: John Lineker is not legally allowed to knead dough within a 40 mile radius of other human beings.
— CagePotato.com (@cagepotatomma) July 14, 2016
John Lineker killed Houdini. He did it tonight, from 90 years in the future, but the force was so strong that it traversed time & space.
— CagePotato.com (@cagepotatomma) July 14, 2016
John Lineker idolized John Henry as a child while at the same time thinking he was a pussy for needing a hammer to drive in all those spikes
— CagePotato.com (@cagepotatomma) July 14, 2016
John Lineker does not throw bombs. Planes drop John Linekers.
— CagePotato.com (@cagepotatomma) July 14, 2016
John Lineker is the only fighter who could come out to "Bodies" by Drowning Pool without seeming like a total fraud.
— CagePotato.com (@cagepotatomma) July 14, 2016
All credit goes to CagePotato’s research intern, Garth, for compiling that astounding list of facts.
In the co-main event of the evening, top lightweight contender took on last-second replacement and complete unknown Landon Vannata and nearly destroyed everyone’s parlays in the process. Vannata, appropriately, came out like a man with nothing to lose, nearly finishing Ferguson on a couple occasions with his wild and unpredictable striking style. Luckily for us with mortgages to pay, “El Cucuy” was able to eventually weather the storm, collect himself, and take advantage of Vannata’s limited gas tank to batter him up en route to a second round D’arce choke victory. Ferguson proceeded to call out newly-crowned lightweight champ Eddie Alvarez in his post-fight interview, but it looks like the champ is currently attending to more important affairs…
Auto Response: @TonyFergusonXT @TeamKhabib Out of the office right now sipping pina colada's I get back to You At "My" earliest convenience
— Edward Alvarez (@Ealvarezfight) July 14, 2016
The full results for Fight Night 91 are below.
Main card
John Lineker def. Michael McDonald via knockout (Round 1, 2:43)
Tony Ferguson def. Landon Vannata via submission (D’arce choke) (Round 2, 2:22)
Tim Boetsch def. Josh Samman via technical knockout (Round 2, 3:49)
Daniel Omielanczuk def. Oleksiy Oliynyk via majority decision (28-28, 29-28, 29-28)
Keita Nakamura def. Kyle Noke via submission (rear-naked choke) (Round 2, 4:59)
Louis Smolka def. Ben Nguyen via technical knockout (Round 2, 4:41)
Preliminary card
Katlyn Chookagian def. Lauren Murphy via unanimous decision (29-28, 29-28, 29-28)
Sam Alvey def. Eric Spicely via submission (guillotine choke) (Round 1, 2:43)
Cortney Casey def. Cristina Stanciu via technical knockout (Round 1, 2:36)
Scott Holtzman def. Cody Pfister via unanimous decision (30-27, 30-27, 29-28)
Rani Yahya def. Matthew Lopez via submission (arm-triangle choke) (Round 3, 4:19)
Alex Nicholson def. Devin Clark via knockout (Round 1, 4:57)
The post [VIDEO] Watch John Lineker Obliterate Michael McDonald in the ‘Fight Night 91′ Main Event appeared first on Cagepotato.