Frankie Edgar is one of the most easygoing, respectful and likeable fighters in the UFC, so it’s no wonder that he was able to laugh off a prank that was pulled on him by his teammates and a media outlet earlier this week.
According to “The Answer’s” Brazilian jiu-jitsu coach Ricardo Almeida, Yahoo! Sports orchestrated the stunt in which a phony repo man attempted to tow away the UFC lightweight champ’s BMW from the parking lot of Almeida’s school in South Jersey.
Frankie Edgar is one of the most easygoing, respectful and likeable fighters in the UFC, so it’s no wonder that he was able to laugh off a prank that was pulled on him by his teammates and a media outlet earlier this week.
According to “The Answer’s” Brazilian jiu-jitsu coach Ricardo Almeida, Yahoo! Sports orchestrated the stunt in which a phony repo man attempted to tow away the UFC lightweight champ’s BMW from the parking lot of Almeida’s school in South Jersey.
(Apparently Corassani treats tapping the same way he deals with flipping to the wrong page of a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure Novel.)
This should come as no surprise, but none other than TUF 14 alum and all around jackwagonAkira Corassani has been booked to take on British striker Jason Young at the UFC’s inaugural trip to Sweden for its second UFC on FUEL event. Corassani, a Swedish born (the streets, specifically) Muay Thai striker, has trained with the likes of Siyar Bahadurzada, Frankie Edgar, and Eddie Alvarez, and made a name for himself on this past season of The Ultimate Fighter, bringing a combination of power punches and Jersey Shore-like swagger to the house before being choked into wonderland by eventual runner-up Dennis Bermudez in the semifinals.
Young, who has dropped a couple of close decisions to Dustin Poirier and Michihiro Omigawa in his octagon run, will likely be fighting for his job when he takes on Corassani. A word to the wise Jason: steer clear of the leg-locks on this one.
(Apparently Corassani treats tapping the same way he deals with flipping to the wrong page of a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure Novel.)
This should come as no surprise, but none other than TUF 14 alum and all around jackwagonAkira Corassani has been booked to take on British striker Jason Young at the UFC’s inaugural trip to Sweden for its second UFC on FUEL event. Corassani, a Swedish born (the streets, specifically) Muay Thai striker, has trained with the likes of Siyar Bahadurzada, Frankie Edgar, and Eddie Alvarez, and made a name for himself on this past season of The Ultimate Fighter, bringing a combination of power punches and Jersey Shore-like swagger to the house before being choked into wonderland by eventual runner-up Dennis Bermudez in the semifinals.
Young, who has dropped a couple of close decisions to Dustin Poirier and Michihiro Omigawa in his octagon run, will likely be fighting for his job when he takes on Corassani. A word to the wise Jason: steer clear of the leg-locks on this one.
Also set for UFC on FUEL 2 will be a rematch between German kickboxer Dennis Siver and TUF 9 winner Ross Pearson. Their first pairing, which was contested at lightweight, saw Pearson walk away with a well earned unanimous decision; Pearson simply out struck the arguably more decorated striker, cutting Siver in several places and rocking him on more than one occasion. Siver would go on a four fight win streak thereafter, scoring wins over TUF 9 runner-up Andre Winner and Aussie grappling whiz George Sotiropoulus, among others. After suffering a first round submission loss at the hands of Donald Cerrone this past October, however, Siver recently announced that he would be dropping to featherweight.
Pearson, on the other hand, would see his hype train (and a 4 fight win streak) derailed in his next fight compliments of Cole Miller, who would score a come from behind submission victory on the Brit after being thrashed for the majority of two rounds. After splitting a pair of contests against Spencer Fisher and Edson Barboza, “The Real Deal” dropped to featherweight and scored a unanimous decision victory in his debut over Junior Assuncao at UFC 141.
To check out Pearson and Siver’s first battle, go here.
(It’s funny until you realize that his little dog is in that backpack. And then it’s absolutely hilarious. GIF via IronForgesIron)
We’re heading into the home stretch of TUF 14: Team Asshole vs. Team Goofball, and the bloom is definitely off the rose. At this point, I just want to see the coaches settle their beef at the finale show next month. I’d also like to see Diego Brandao whip some more ass. Other than that, I’m only watching/writing this out of habit. How many dumb pranks can grown men can play on each other? Even when they involve Mariachi bands, it’s just…I don’t know. There are more important things happening in our country right now.
The TUF house has reached a Heathers-level of cliquey-ness. You got the Bible thumpers, the card players, and the dudes with anger issues/crazy hair/dark skin. And hey, you know who Akira Corassani doesn’t like? That bitch-ass Bryan Caraway. “He’s like a little girl,” Akira says. “He wakes up in the morning, he takes like 25 minutes to make his hair.”
So, Akira sneaks into Bryan’s bedroom in the middle of the night and shaves off a piece of his hair. Caraway chases him to an upstairs balcony, where Akira is giggling with his bros. Instead of brawling with the whole gang, Bryan threatens non-specific vengeance sometime in the future. “Y’know, what we do in life echoes in eternity, and this right here I’m going to laugh about my whole life,” Akira says, COMPLETELY MISSING THE POINT OF GLADIATOR. Look, spoiler alert, Akira gets choked out at the end of this episode and it’s awesome. Sorry guys, I had to.
(It’s funny until you realize that his little dog is in that backpack. And then it’s absolutely hilarious. GIF via IronForgesIron)
We’re heading into the home stretch of TUF 14: Team Asshole vs. Team Goofball, and the bloom is definitely off the rose. At this point, I just want to see the coaches settle their beef at the finale show next month. I’d also like to see Diego Brandao whip some more ass. Other than that, I’m only watching/writing this out of habit. How many dumb pranks can grown men can play on each other? Even when they involve Mariachi bands, it’s just…I don’t know. There are more important things happening in our country right now.
The TUF house has reached a Heathers-level of cliquey-ness. You got the Bible thumpers, the card players, and the dudes with anger issues/crazy hair/dark skin. And hey, you know who Akira Corassani doesn’t like? That bitch-ass Bryan Caraway. “He’s like a little girl,” Akira says. “He wakes up in the morning, he takes like 25 minutes to make his hair.”
So, Akira sneaks into Bryan’s bedroom in the middle of the night and shaves off a piece of his hair. Caraway chases him to an upstairs balcony, where Akira is giggling with his bros. Instead of brawling with the whole gang, Bryan threatens non-specific vengeance sometime in the future. “Y’know, what we do in life echoes in eternity, and this right here I’m going to laugh about my whole life,” Akira says, COMPLETELY MISSING THE POINT OF GLADIATOR. Look, spoiler alert, Akira gets choked out at the end of this episode and it’s awesome. Sorry guys, I had to.
Back at the gym, the fighters who have been eliminated from the competition are losing their focus, while the remaining eight semi-finalists are turning up the intensity. Mayhem rides a tiny bike to practice to avoid getting his car messed with, but Team Bisping has something else in store for him. As Tiki explains, ”We don’t want them to focus on training the guys, we want to them to focus on, ‘oh, what prank are they gonna play next?’”
Tiki and Bisping create a diversion, acting like assholes in Team Miller’s prep-room. When the orange team finally tries to exit the room, Bisping blasts ‘em with a fire extinguisher. Out of the haze comes a Mariachi band. Watching at home, Cain Velasquez sheds a single tear. The fighters evacuate, hacking their lungs out. Miller gives props to Bisping for the prank, but the gym is destroyed, and Johnny Bedford has a fight coming up, so not everybody can laugh it off so easily.
Dennis Bermudez ain’t the brightest bulb in the box. (He’s a “fufessional,” you guys.) Akira draws pictures of him as a wise owl, quoting his malapropisms and barely coherent catchphrases, which he posts on the refrigerator door.
Akira and Dennis will be kicking off the featherweight semis, and Team Bisping is drilling Akira on ground escapes to help him prepare for his wrestling disadvantage. ”Dennis wants to hold me down for 15 minutes,” Akira says. “Congratulations. First of all, you’re a big pussy.”
Bisping’s love of pranks has infected his whole team, who are now focused on pranking him. First, Akira ambushes Bisping with a squirt of water from the bathroom. Bisping responds by kicking the bathroom door open. He thought it was a Team Mayhem member, so…false alarm. Later, Marcus Brimage jumps on Bisping’s back, rubs his wet jock strap in the Count’s face, and runs away. Bisping retaliates by slamming Akira on the ground, wrapping the jock strap around his head, then slapping him around. Again, this is the guy who has to fight next for Bisping’s team. But Akira’s a good sport about it: “I think me and Darkness are blood brothers now because I actually had to taste his salty balls.” There’s a silly string incident later, but I don’t have the energy to get into it.
Bermudez doesn’t like Akira’s series of owl portraits. “Let me draw you a picture…with my fists,” he tells us. He never intends to hurt his opponents in fights — he just tries to win — but that might change. Raising the tension, Akira sings Dennis an improvised song about their fight which is as insulting as it is soulful.
Mayhem lets his wiener dog on the mats, completely disregarding the possible zombie apocalypse risk.
Okay, final pre-fight thoughts: Dana White thinks Akira is cocky, and maybe a little crazy to call out Dennis. “I think Akira might have bit off more than he can chew,” he says. Jason Miller says he respects Michael Bisping: “He’s a seasoned fighter. That being said, I really respect my father, and it never stopped me from whipping his ass.” Akira visualizes the fight the night before, in his own werid, cocky way. “I’m a black belt in fucking people up, you know what I’m sayin’?” he says. “I’m gonna show that European fighters have it all.”
It’s go time…
Round 1: Akira lands first and stumbles Dennis. Dennis tries to respond with a takedown but Akira sees it coming and punches him off. Akira catches a leg kick and lands a counter-punch. Akira sprawls and brawls. It turns into a dog fight. Akira lands two hockey-punches. They clinch up and trade knees. Leg kick and clinch from Dennis. Akira separates and opens fire with punches. Bermudez gives one back. They slug at the center of the cage. Akira scores with a right straight and hook. Dennis shoots and fails. Dennis misses another takedown and pays for it. Akira coming forward and landing. He drops Dennis with a big left. Dennis shoots for Akira’s legs, lifts him, and slams him. He sets up a guillotine. Call me crazy, but it seems that Akira taps and Herb Dean misses it…again. But Dennis stays on it, re-adjusts the hold, and gets Akira to tap, and this time it’s unmistakable. Dennis Bermudez is going to the featherweight finals.
Akira is confused and very emotional after the loss. He brushes off the doctor who needs to check him out, and everybody else who tries to console him. He just wants to be held by Michael Bisping, and hear that it’s going to be okay. But it’s not. On the bright side, a performance like that probably punched his ticket to the TUF 14 Finale prelims.
Dennis says that a fortune cookie predicted his victory. Akira says that he’s going to go home and crack a beer, but as we all know, ”the loser’s beer doesn’t taste as good as the winner’s beer.” Especially if the loser is drinking Kaliber, which tastes like straight dogshit, as I found out by accident last summer. Long story.
On the next episode: Air hockey, bug eating, and the first bantamweight semifinal between Dustin Pague and TJ Dillashaw.
(The end of Dustin Neace vs. Akira Corassani…OR WAS IT?? Gif props: IronForgesIron)
After Dustin Pague’s victory last week — which brought Team Mayhem up 4-0 on the scorecard, FYI — Dustin asks his team if they could do a quick “Glory to God” cheer, which Jason Miller actually participates in, even though he’s a die-hard atheist who usually loves to mess with religious people. That just shows what kind of coach Miller is. He let his fighter have his moment, and he didn’t even make Pague participate in a “Glory to Science” cheer afterwards.
As the fighters return to their prep-rooms, Diego Brandao is in Murderous Brazilian Mode (what else is new), and starts to yell at Steve Siler for some reason. “I’m gonna take you head off, bidge!”, etc. Michael Bisping explains that he’s unstable and just wants to fight. Fortunately, he’s in a welcoming environment for that sort of thing.
Mayhem gives Dustin Neace a cowboy hat with a B on it, which stands for “Beast,” his nickname. Josh Ferguson — previously known as “the dude in the cowboy hat” — lays down accusations of swagger-jackin’. (“Come on man, I got one thing going for me here, and you gotta rip it off?”) Oddly enough, Ferguson’s hat also has a ‘B’ on it, even though his nickname doesn’t start with that letter. Unless one of you knows its actual significance, I’m just going to assume it stands for “bumpkin.”
(The end of Dustin Neace vs. Akira Corassani…OR WAS IT?? Gif props: IronForgesIron)
After Dustin Pague’s victory last week — which brought Team Mayhem up 4-0 on the scorecard, FYI — Dustin asks his team if they could do a quick “Glory to God” cheer, which Jason Miller actually participates in, even though he’s a die-hard atheist who usually loves to mess with religious people. That just shows what kind of coach Miller is. He let his fighter have his moment, and he didn’t even make Pague participate in a “Glory to Science” cheer afterwards.
As the fighters return to their prep-rooms, Diego Brandao is in Murderous Brazilian Mode (what else is new), and starts to yell at Steve Siler for some reason. “I’m gonna take you head off, bidge!”, etc. Michael Bisping explains that he’s unstable and just wants to fight. Fortunately, he’s in a welcoming environment for that sort of thing.
Mayhem gives Dustin Neace a cowboy hat with a B on it, which stands for “Beast,” his nickname. Josh Ferguson — previously known as “the dude in the cowboy hat” — lays down accusations of swagger-jackin’. (“Come on man, I got one thing going for me here, and you gotta rip it off?”) Oddly enough, Ferguson’s hat also has a ‘B’ on it, even though his nickname doesn’t start with that letter. Unless one of you knows its actual significance, I’m just going to assume it stands for “bumpkin.”
Siler tells Mayhem that John Dodson has been the mole on their team, feeding the fight selections in advance to Team Bisping. Mayhem decides to use it to his advantage. The plan is to make Team Bisping think that he’s picking Siler vs. Brandao next, when he’ll really be picking another house-rivalry, Neace vs. Akira Corassani. “Akira’s gonna be fat, Dustin’s gonna be in shape, and Diego’s gonna be really pissed,” Miller explains.
Dodson takes the bait when he sees Siler act like he’s trying to cut weight for a fight. Meanwhile, Neace is cutting in secret, like a teenaged daughter of divorcing parents. Wow. I kind of feel bad for that one. Anyway, the plan works, and Team Bisping starts getting Diego ready for war.
Under the cover of darkness, Team Blue steals Neace’s cowboy hat in retaliation for his swagger-jackin’. Neace can’t find it later, assumes Akira is fucking with him again — even though it wasn’t Akira’s idea — and he’s like a race car in the red. He loads up a garbage bag full of garbage, and…I’m not sure what he intends to do with it. But back at the gym, he scatters Team Bisping’s gear all over their room, so there.
When he discovers the mess, Bisping thinks it was a team prank that Mayhem put his guys up to, and starts making wild, derogatory assumptions about the cleanliness of Miller’s house. Neace and Akira shout at each other for a while. Akira wants to fight him right then, bare-knuckle, in the garden (?). Neace responds in his usual style: “We’re going to fight soon. We’re going to fight soon. We’re going to fight soon. We’re going to fight soon. We’re going to fight soon. We’re going to fight soon. We’re going to fight soon.”
And yeah, they’re still running that Tiger Schulmann’s MMA commercial where Louis Gaudinot claims to be ranked #11 in the world. I think he meant “on this particular reality show.”
The fight selections are chaotic. Neace and Akira are at DEFCON 1, jawing at each other during the lineup. They’re so angry that they start ripping off famous Mike Tyson quotes. Dustin Neace (Miller’s #3 featherweight) vs. Akira Corassani (Bisping’s #2 featherweight) is made official for the next match. Akira immediately walks up on Neace and gives him some forehead to forehead contact. Neace reacts by shooting on him. The coaches have to jump in to separate the fighters, which leads to some shoving and shouting between Miller and Bisping.
John Dodson: “All this happened ‘cuz of me. Hey, shit happens.”
After the melee, the teams compose themselves and Miller announces next week’s fight, even though he hasn’t won this week’s fight yet. Maybe Bisping is just too pissed to care. But really, no matter who wins, it’s pretty much assumed that Steve Siler (Miller’s #4 featherweight) would be fighting Diego Brandao (Bisping’s #1 featherweight) anyway. And now it’s official. Brandao does wind up getting screwed a bit by Mayhem’s trickery; he already cut to 151 pounds, and now he has to wait a week to fight.
Mayhem confronts Dodson and explains that he caused a lot of issues with the team. And that’s pretty much it. There really aren’t any consequences, though you wonder how the rest of the team is going to treat him after this. And I mean his actual team, not Team Death Leprechaun.
Akira’s takedown offense is a little bit off, so Tiki Ghosn works with him on getting up off the mat. Good screen-time, Tiki!
Bisping no-shows the weigh-ins, just like he no-showed the fight-selections in last week’s episode. His fighters look pretty bummed about it. But hey, at least he hasn’t missed one of their fights yet. He finally shows up, lifting a big paper bag as explanation. It is never explained what’s inside the paper bag.
After the weigh-ins, the big ‘M’ that denotes Mayhem’s parking space is placed in the handicapped spot of the gym’s parking lot. Just wait, that will become very important later.
Neace says he won’t tap to a submission, but he might hold a choke a little longer. Akira wasn’t impressed with Neace’s double-leg at the fight-announcement. And here we go…
Round 1: Akira lands first with a leg kick, a hook, and a body kick. A spinning back kick misses, and Bisping scolds Akira for trying the fancy stuff. Neace scores with a leg kick, and another, but Akira returns some punches. Neace stalking. He whiffs a backfist and some follow-up punches, but lands a counter when Akira swings on an overhand right. Neace’s reverse kick is caught, and Akira dumps him on the mat. Akira enters his guard and throws down a big elbow. Neace tries to lock him down, but Akira sneaks in another nice punch. Neace looking for an arm. More punches from Akira. Neace grabs a heel hook and cranks it. Akira taps — I mean, very clearly, he taps — but Herb Dean doesn’t see it. So when Neace eases up, thinking the fight is over, Akira keeps fighting, and escapes to his feet. Team Miller shouts “HE TAPPED” in unison, but it’s too late now. Neace scores a takedown. Akira gets to his feet and lands a hook at the end.
Round 2: They trade hooks. Akira is on the move, attacking forward with punches, then clinching against fence. A short elbow from Akira, followed by some knees to Dustin’s legs. They separate. Both guys miss backfists. (Seriously guys, it’s enough already with that shit.) Neace goes to the body with a punch and a kick. Akira drops Neace with a punch, and throws down big shots at Neace against the fence. Akira stays on top, punching down, smothering Neace. Neace looks for a triangle, but can’t get it. He desperately tries to make something happen from his back in the round’s closing seconds, but Akira stays out of danger, keeps busy, and keeps his position.
Before the decision is even read, Akira goes over to Neace’s stool and basically does this to him. There’s another near-scuffle, and Miller (I think?) shoots water at Bisping. Keith Kizer has to step in and be an adult, telling Akira to get his shit together unless he wants to be suspended and kicked off the show. Akira Corassani def. Dustin Neace via majority decision, which implies that one judge gave the first round to Dustin on the basis of, you know, ending the fight.
And so, Akira scores the first win for Team Bisping, in the most bullshit way possible. But that’s life. Sometimes you win, sometimes a tow truck comes to drag your Mustang out of the handicapped spot.
