Can-Crushing Roundup: Tim Sylvia and Jong Dae Kim Win with Little Opposition


Hope you jerks are having a better Father’s Day than some of us.

Yesterday didn’t just provide us with depressing fights from former contenders. We also got to witness a fight from former champion Tim Sylvia and Jong Dae Kim attempt to win The Bob Sapp Challenge™. Okay, so it was still somewhat depressing. But at least you won’t feel guilty for pointing and laughing at anyone involved, so what else can you ask for?

Tim Sylvia has been making a valiant effort to win fights and get back to the UFC as of late- although the overwhelming majority of his battles have taken place on Twitter and YouTube. Fresh off of back-to-back TKO losses to Patrick Cote and dignity, Tim Sylvia decided to do his fighting inside the cage last night against Randy Smith, a thirty-eight year old journeyman who entered the bout with a 13-10-1 professional record. A can of his caliber shouldn’t last ten seconds in the cage with a former UFC champion, yet Smith defied the odds by being knocked twelve seconds into the first round.

Impressive victory over a game opponent? Not so much. Will it take our minds off of his last effort, a forgettable decision over Andreas Kraniotakes at the abysmal Pro Elite 2: Big Guns? Trick question- we’ve blocked that fight from our memories a long time ago. Low-Quality to the point of being virtually unwatchable video after the jump? You betcha.


Hope you jerks are having a better Father’s Day than some of us.

Yesterday didn’t just provide us with depressing fights from former contenders. We also got to witness a fight from former champion Tim Sylvia and Jong Dae Kim attempt to win The Bob Sapp Challenge™. Okay, so it was still somewhat depressing. But at least you won’t feel guilty for pointing and laughing at anyone involved, so what else can you ask for?

Tim Sylvia has been making a valiant effort to win fights and get back to the UFC as of late- although the overwhelming majority of his battles have taken place on Twitter and YouTube. Fresh off of back-to-back TKO losses to Patrick Cote and dignity, Tim Sylvia decided to do his fighting inside the cage last night against Randy Smith, a thirty-eight year old journeyman who entered the bout with a 13-10-1 professional record. A can of his caliber shouldn’t last ten seconds in the cage with a former UFC champion, yet Smith defied the odds by being knocked out twelve seconds into the first round.

Impressive victory over a game opponent? Not so much. Will it take our minds off of his last effort, a forgettable decision over Andreas Kraniotakes at the abysmal Pro Elite 2: Big Guns? Trick question- we’ve blocked that fight from our memories a long time ago. Low-Quality to the point of being virtually unwatchable video after the jump? You betcha.

As for Jong Dae Kim? He fought Bob Sapp at last night’s Road FC 8 in Seoul, South Korea. And believe it or not, Bob Sapp actually fought back. For a few moments, it even looked like Bob Sapp would win. We’re only one week removed from Tölegen Akylbekov setting the bar for The Bob Sapp Challenge™ at one minute, twenty four seconds, yet the bar has already been raised to three minutes, fourteen seconds of round two. That’s not a typo. Enjoy.

The 25 Biggest Tomato Cans in MMA History

The natural world is an almost perfectly closed loop, a finely tuned and living panoply of checks and balances. You’ve got predators eating herds of progressively smaller organisms, the herbivores eating the plants, the p…

The natural world is an almost perfectly closed loop, a finely tuned and living panoply of checks and balances. You’ve got predators eating herds of progressively smaller organisms, the herbivores eating the plants, the plants making oxygen and the scavengers cleaning it all up. Everything plays a role. Nothing goes to waste. There are no great white sharks without benthic marine algae. No wings without the wind. […]