You guys remember when Jordan Meinelbow-raped Evangelista Santos like a God damned Papau New Guinea savage back at Strikeforce: Kharitonov vs. Barnett? Well, he did the same thing again last weekend to Forrest Petz, who is kind of like the poor man’s Jay Hieron, meaning that he is damn near flawless on the local circuit, yet falls apart every time we see him under the bright lights. To be fair, Petz can actually claim a UFC victory under his belt (he’s actually 2-5 lifetime), but Jordan Mein gives not a shit about where you’ve been. He only cares about where you are going to be, which, should you decided to scrap with him, will be crumpled against the cage beneath a hellstorm of elbows that would send Kenny Florian into a jealous, baby-kicking tantrum.
Not unlike Sensodyne’s rapport with American dentists, 9 out of Mein’s last 10 opponents would recommend him to anyone seeking to get their ass kicked. Now that he’s managed to successfully separate himself from Strikeforce’s sinking ship, how long do you think it will be until we see this kid in the UFC?
You guys remember when Jordan Meinelbow-raped Evangelista Santos like a God damned Papau New Guinea savage back at Strikeforce: Kharitonov vs. Barnett? Well, he did the same thing again last weekend to Forrest Petz, who is kind of like the poor man’s Jay Hieron, meaning that he is damn near flawless on the local circuit, yet falls apart every time we see him under the bright lights. To be fair, Petz can actually claim a UFC victory under his belt (he’s actually 2-5 lifetime), but Jordan Mein gives not a shit about where you’ve been. He only cares about where you are going to be, which, should you decided to scrap with him, will be crumpled against the cage beneath a hellstorm of elbows that would send Kenny Florian into a jealous, baby-kicking tantrum.
Not unlike Sensodyne’s rapport with American dentists, 9 out of Mein’s last 10 opponents would recommend him to anyone seeking to get their ass kicked. Now that he’s managed to successfully separate himself from Strikeforce’s sinking ship, how long do you think it will be until we see this kid in the UFC?
– …with his enormous belly exposed to all humanity? CHECK.
The only way this KO would be more satisfying is if the fat dude (aka “400 Pound Boy From Detroit“) started involuntarily masturbating while unconscious, and then Maury Povich walked up to inform him that in the case of 2-year-old Teesha, he in fact is the father. Aside from that, awesome stuff, Internet.
– …with his enormous belly exposed to all humanity? CHECK.
The only way this KO would be more satisfying is if the fat dude (aka “400 Pound Boy From Detroit“) started involuntarily masturbating while unconscious, and then Maury Povich walked up to inform him that in the case of 2-year-old Teesha, he in fact is the father. Aside from that, awesome stuff, Internet.
(Skip to the 1:30 mark to watch Karma work its magic.)
There is perhaps no greater a hooley-hoo punk-ass jabroni in the MMA world than the guy who fakes the glove tap and immediately tries to knock his opponent out/take him down. It’s a garbage ass maneuver, perpetrated by only the soggiest of floor turds, but the one good thing that can come from such blatant bitchassery is watching it backfire in said jabroni’s face. Paul Kelly tried it against Donald Cerrone at UFC 126 and was promptly strangled for his efforts. JR Fuller tried it against Jonathan Harris and was promptly dicknailed. But today’s cheap-shotter, Adam Fyfe, almost got away with this bitch move when he pulled it on fellow ammy Alex Thorne at Absolute Adrenaline: Platinum on November 4th. Almost.
(Skip to the 1:30 mark to watch Karma work its magic.)
There is perhaps no greater a hooley-hoo punk-ass jabroni in the MMA world than the guy who fakes the glove tap and immediately tries to knock his opponent out/take him down. It’s a garbage ass maneuver, perpetrated by only the soggiest of floor turds, but the one good thing that can come from such blatant bitchassery is watching it backfire in said jabroni’s face. Paul Kelly tried it against Donald Cerrone at UFC 126 and was promptly strangled for his efforts. JR Fuller tried it against Jonathan Harris and was promptly dicknailed. But today’s cheap-shotter, Adam Fyfe, almost got away with this bitch move when he pulled it on fellow ammy Alex Thorne at Absolute Adrenaline: Platinum on November 4th. Almost.
This son of a motherless goat even had the audacity to raise his fist first once the fight began, but before Thorne could even acknowledge the false attempt at sportsmanship, Fyfe pounced, dropping Thorne with a right hand that nearly sealed the deal right then and there. But what Fyfe failed to realize is that you just can’t keep a good man down, something one of his kin might have told him had he not been the product of the aforementioned goat sodomy.
After clearing the cobwebs as best as he could, Thorne rose back to his feet — not unlike the might Phoenix from that of its ashes — and caught Fyfe with a left hook that all but sent him into stasis. It looks like the goat that shat out Fyfe happened to be narcoleptic as well [BA DUM TSSH!].
It would be Fyfe’s fourth (T)KO loss in 7 fights, which begs one to ask what exactly he is trying to prove in the first place. Unless he is some kind of self-aware genius attempting to go down in MMA history as the martyr who sacrificed his brain to prove that justice still exists in this world, in which case he is undoubtedly succeeding.
Although Jeff Monson wisely avoided his go-to strategy of fucking dudes for free when he met Aleksander “Patient Zero” Emelianenko at M-1 Challenge 35 yesterday, he was able to come away with another one of his signature North-South submission victories. We wouldn’t exactly call the events leading up to said finish pretty — Monson’s wild, looping punches in the early going only looked passable when compared to the half-assed takedown attempts that followed them, but “The Snowman” did manage to sweep Emelianenko once things hit the ground in the first round and controlled the Russian for the rest of the fight thereafter.
Although Jeff Monson wisely avoided his go-to strategy of fucking dudes for free when he met Aleksander “Patient Zero” Emelianenko at M-1 Challenge 35 yesterday, he was able to come away with another one of his signature North-South submission victories. We wouldn’t exactly call the events leading up to said finish pretty — Monson’s wild, looping punches in the early going only looked passable when compared to the half-assed takedown attempts that followed them, but “The Snowman” did manage to sweep Emelianenko once things hit the ground in the first round and controlled the Russian for the rest of the fight thereafter.
In fact, Monson would use the same half guard sweep in the second stanza to eventually secure a takedown again, much to the chagrin of brother Fedor and emperor Vadim, who were watching stoically from ringside. Emelianenko would not be so lucky this round, and after an ankle lock attempt failed, he would succumb to the death traps that are Monson’s armpits at the 3:17 mark.
With the win, Monson improved to 47-13 as a pro and has put together 4 wins and a draw since losing to Fedor almost a year ago to the day. Say what you want about Monson, but inactive is something the dude is not. As for Aleks, it was a tough loss that snapped a four fight win streak, but hey, at least he found an opponent who was actually willing to fight back this time.
(“Can you guys hurry this up? My Mom…I mean The Phoenix signal is calling.”)
If you are an MMA fan, a comic book fan, or just a really lonely guy, then you’ve probably heard the story of Phoenix Jones a.k.a Ben Fodor, the amateur MMA fighter/”superhero” that according to his Wikipedia page “is an American leader of a ten-member citizen crime-prevention patrol group who call themselves the Rain City Superhero Movement.” So basically, a bunch of dudes who never met a Friday night they couldn’t squander formed a neighborhood watch group and dressed in cosplay. Because as we all know, the best way to be taken seriously is to dress up like a bumblebee and hand out life lessons to the drunks who happen to stumble out of the bars each night.
In any case, the world’s least anonymous superhero encountered one such drunk last weekend. After informing the police of the situation, Fodor challenged the drunken fellow to “mutual combat,” which is apparently a law dictating that if two parties have expressed an equal desire to fight one another, they can do so without the threat of legal action as long as neither participant uses unreasonable force. Awesome.
Video after the jump.
(“Can you guys hurry this up? My Mom…I mean The Phoenix signal is calling.”)
If you are an MMA fan, a comic book fan, or just a really lonely guy, then you’ve probably heard the story of Phoenix Jones a.k.a Ben Fodor, the amateur MMA fighter/”superhero” that according to his Wikipedia page “is an American leader of a ten-member citizen crime-prevention patrol group who call themselves the Rain City Superhero Movement.” So basically, a bunch of dudes who never met a Friday night they couldn’t squander formed a neighborhood watch group and dressed in cosplay. Because as we all know, the best way to be taken seriously is to dress up like a bumblebee and hand out life lessons to the drunks who happen to stumble out of the bars each night.
In any case, the world’s least anonymous superhero encountered one such drunk last weekend. After informing the police of the situation, Fodor challenged the drunken fellow to “mutual combat,” which is apparently a law dictating that if two parties have expressed an equal desire to fight one another, they can do so without the threat of legal action as long as neither participant uses unreasonable force. Awesome.
I’ve watched this video five times since it was passed along to us and I still don’t know what to make of it. All I’ve taken away from it is that Washington State easily has the coolest police force I’ve ever encountered.
Although you can skip ahead to the 6:40 mark for the actual fight, I’d suggest you watch the entire video for some context. It begins with the sane member of Drunk Dude’s crew questioning Fodor on the legality of whatever he has just done, which I’m guessing involved pepper spray. Fodor responds by saying that he “can do whatever he wants,” which should raise some concerns about this man’s state of mind right away. This is when Drunk Dude steps in and completely absorbs all the negative qualities about Fodor in one fell swoop, opting to mutter racial slurs in between “Come at me, bro” poses with effortless vitriol. The police arrive around the 2:30 mark to sort things out and ultimately decide that letting these two morons throw down would probably be in humanity’s best interest. Like I said, awesome.
But it isn’t until these two decide to square off that everyone realizes how screwed Drunk Dude truly is. Fodor may be a delusional schizophrenic with a God complex, but the man can throw a freakin’ beautiful leg kick. So much so that after about three or four of said kicks, Drunk Dude is pretty much ready to call it a day. But because we know leg kicks don’t finish (street) fights, Fodor makes sure to put Drunk Dude’s lights out with a straight right, possibly after he had already called quitsies. And with that, Seattle’s wannabe dark knight retreats into the darkness.
Now to be clear, I am not taking Drunk Dude’s side in this, because he and his ghetto-speaking, take-my-shirt-off-at-the-mention-of-a-fight friend were asking for a worse ass-kicking than they actually received. But I can’t say that I appreciate the idea of some self-righteous looney tune deciding that he is the new Sheriff in town either. This isn’t Vietnam, Smokey, there are rules here. And while Ben appears to know his way around the law, he also “has a history of injecting himself in these incidents” as the SeattlePi put it when he was arrested a little over a year ago for pepper spraying a group of people involved in an alleged fight. Just watch this video of that incident and tell me that this guy doesn’t add to the problems he is supposedly trying to solve. After you stop laughing, of course.
I’m sure Fodor has been responsible for actual resolving/averting a crisis or two in his day, but does anyone else think the necessity of his antics should be called into question when he becomes responsible for more police reports than he helps thwart? Should I be ridiculed for even questioning the legitimacy of a man who dresses up in a costume to fight crime? Is this real life? Anyone?
(A full replay of Quieroz vs. Volkov. For those of you who don’t have time for the whole thing, the relevant bits are after the jump.)
Although it’s a given that fight promotions have no control over which referees are assigned to their events/fights — because if they did, Dana White would have permanently relegated Steve Mazaggati to the UFC’s super secret “AIDS-ridden Lion Fights” division — it has become apparent that Bellator is clearly getting the shit end of the stick when it comes to acquiring a decent referee. Just a couple weeks ago at Bellator 78, referee Jerry Poe allowed Andrey Koreshkov to savage Maruis Zaromskis’ unconscious body so badly that it would have been considered necrophilia in some states. And just two events later at Bellator 80, referee James Warring displayed a similar, albeit less dangerous, incompetency during the Vinicius Queiroz/Alexander Volkov fight.
Our friends over at Fightlinker were able to find a compilation of Warring’s missteps during the fight, which we’ve placed below, and my God do they redefine the phrase “interesting interpretation of the rules.” Amidst a barrage of ridiuclously quick stand-ups, Warring appeared as if he were making up rules out of thin air, warning Queiroz that he could not “lead with the forehead” while he was on the ground, nor could he strike the top or the “Mohawk area” of his opponent’s head. While the first rule is an outright fabrication, the criteria for the “Mohawk area” head strikes can be found in the unified rules of MMA. That being said, Warring’s belief that a Mohawk typically starts in the middle of one’s forehead highlights the growing problems in MMA refereeing when it comes to interpreting the rules.
After the jump: The aforementioned lowlight reel of Warring’s Bellator 80 performance set to an oddly poignant soundtrack and the official complaint from Quieroz’s camp.
(A full replay of Quieroz vs. Volkov. For those of you who don’t have time for the whole thing, the relevant bits are after the jump.)
Although it’s a given that fight promotions have no control over which referees are assigned to their events/fights — because if they did, Dana White would have permanently relegated Steve Mazaggati to the UFC’s super secret “AIDS-ridden Lion Fights” division — it has become apparent that Bellator is clearly getting the shit end of the stick when it comes to acquiring a decent referee. Just a couple weeks ago at Bellator 78, referee Jerry Poe allowed Andrey Koreshkov to savage Maruis Zaromskis’ unconscious body so badly that it would have been considered necrophilia in some states. And just two events later at Bellator 80, referee James Warring displayed a similar, albeit less dangerous, incompetency during the Vinicius Queiroz/Alexander Volkov fight.
Our friends over at Fightlinker were able to find a compilation of Warring’s missteps during the fight, which we’ve placed below, and my God do they redefine the phrase “interesting interpretation of the rules.” Amidst a barrage of ridiuclously quick stand-ups, Warring appeared as if he were making up rules out of thin air, warning Queiroz that he could not “lead with the forehead” while he was on the ground, nor could he strike the top or the “Mohawk area” of his opponent’s head. While the first rule is an outright fabrication, the criteria for the “Mohawk area” head strikes can be found in the unified rules of MMA. That being said, Warring’s belief that a Mohawk typically starts in the middle of one’s forehead highlights the growing problems in MMA refereeing when it comes to interpreting the rules.
Following the loss, Queiroz’s manager, Josef Borges, filed a complaint with the Florida State Boxing Commission. Opposing Views has the scoop:
“[Referee James] Warring could have contributed to [and] altered the result of the fight after he ordered the fighters to rise up with only 15 seconds [on the ground] … in a moment that was favorable for Vincius,” wrote Borges.
Borges has stated that he wouldn’t attempt to overturn the result, but hopes that the referee will go back and reread the rulebook.
“I would like you to register my protest and I hope that Mr. James Warring will update [his] knowledge of the rules of MMA,” wrote Borges. ”MMA means also fighting on the ground. Getting a takedown and dominating the ground also adds points to the fight.”
Now, we’re not going to say that Queiroz would have won the fight had he not been the victim of some egregious standups, but just skip ahead to the 3:18 mark of the video and tell us that the cards were not at the least stacked against him. Quieroz secures a takedown with roughly 1:05 left in the round and is almost immediately stood up with 50 seconds remaining in said round. That, my friends, is some grade A bullshit. While Bellator commentators Jimmy Smith and Sean Wheelock were quick to call out Warring for his injustices, can you imagine what would’ve happened if Joe Rogan had been cageside? Warring would’ve probably left the arena in tears and looking for his favorite blankey.
