(Looks like he is training hard for…oh god that was awful. I’ll show myself out now. -SF)
Alright, so we’re being dicks in calling these fights “freakshows,” yes. Only one of them included a former World’s Strongest Man champion swinging his ham hocks around wildly, after all – the other had a legit top Polish prospect against a very good kick boxer – and both of them included guys with the guts to glove up and man-up.
Still, there’s something wonderfully faux-epic/Euro-trashy about KSW shows and Maruiusz Pudzianowski both so we’re going with “freak show.” Not that you shouldn’t watch the videos after the jump – you totally should.
UFC veteran and certified internet troll nut bag Sean McCorkle appears to wilt under Pudzi’s initial strong-man onslaught before getting on top and finishing with a Kimura shoulder lock.
For a few moments in the bout between Mamed Khalidov and Melvin Manoef, the two tried kicking the crap out of each other. Then, Mamed thought better of exchanging with the K-1 veteran and promptly guillotine choked Melly-Mel.
Check out both vids after the jump. Don’t pretend you have something better to do.
(Looks like he is training hard for…oh god that was awful. I’ll show myself out now. -SF)
Alright, so we’re being dicks in calling these fights “freakshows,” yes. Only one of them included a former World’s Strongest Man champion swinging his ham hocks around wildly, after all – the other had a legit top Polish prospect against a very good kick boxer – and both of them included guys with the guts to glove up and man-up.
Still, there’s something wonderfully faux-epic/Euro-trashy about KSW shows and Maruiusz Pudzianowski both so we’re going with “freak show.” Not that you shouldn’t watch the videos after the jump – you totally should.
UFC veteran and certified internet troll nut bag Sean McCorkle appears to wilt under Pudzi’s initial strong-man onslaught before getting on top and finishing with a Kimura shoulder lock.
For a few moments in the bout between Mamed Khalidov and Melvin Manoef, the two tried kicking the crap out of each other. Then, Mamed thought better of exchanging with the K-1 veteran and promptly guillotine choked Melly-Mel.
Check out both vids after the jump. Don’t pretend you have something better to do.
(Can professional Droog-style gang-fighting be far behind?)
For almost as long as MMA has existed, there have been scheming fight promoters trying to one-up normal cage-fighting with increasingly bizarre variations. We’ve seen three-man MMA, better known as “two guys beating the shit out of another guy.” We’ve seen tag-team MMA, which makes even less sense from a logistical perspective. We’ve seen Montana-style Motocross MMA, and the abomination known as XARM, and we’ve gleefully mocked their stupidity. If two men fighting each other isn’t exciting enough for you, you probably just need better cocaine.
The latest entry in this dignified line of MMA offshoots is two-on-two MMA, which will be part of the next Desert Rage Full Contact Fighting show, October 20th at the Paradise Casino in Yuma, Arizona. As fighter-turned-promoter Chance Farrar explained to MMAJunkie, “We started trying it in the gym, and it’s been successful. It’s nothing short of controlled chaos, but exciting. You can’t predict what’s going to happen…This fight does not last. That’s why I’m bringing it to Desert Rage. I think the fans want to see it.”
Here’s how it works: Weight classes are determined by a team’s collective weight. (Lightweight is 350 pounds and below; middleweight is 425 pounds and below; and heavyweight is 500 pounds and below.) Rounds will be five minutes each, with a one-minute rest period between each round, but there will be no limit to how many rounds a fight can go. No elbows or knees will be allowed.
Two referees will do their best to control the action. When a fighter is stopped by knockout, submission, or referee stoppage, a one-minute rest is called to give officials time to remove the eliminated fighter, before the fight is re-started. If an eliminated fighter is unable to leave the cage within the one-minute period, the other team wins by forfeit. The match ends when one side loses both fighters.
(Can professional Droog-style gang-fighting be far behind?)
For almost as long as MMA has existed, there have been scheming fight promoters trying to one-up normal cage-fighting with increasingly bizarre variations. We’ve seen three-man MMA, better known as “two guys beating the shit out of another guy.” We’ve seen tag-team MMA, which makes even less sense from a logistical perspective. We’ve seen Montana-style Motocross MMA, and the abomination known as XARM, and we’ve gleefully mocked their stupidity. If two men fighting each other isn’t exciting enough for you, you probably just need better cocaine.
The latest entry in this dignified line of MMA offshoots is two-on-two MMA, which will be part of the next Desert Rage Full Contact Fighting show, October 20th at the Paradise Casino in Yuma, Arizona. As fighter-turned-promoter Chance Farrar explained to MMAJunkie, “We started trying it in the gym, and it’s been successful. It’s nothing short of controlled chaos, but exciting. You can’t predict what’s going to happen…This fight does not last. That’s why I’m bringing it to Desert Rage. I think the fans want to see it.”
Here’s how it works: Weight classes are determined by a team’s collective weight. (Lightweight is 350 pounds and below; middleweight is 425 pounds and below; and heavyweight is 500 pounds and below.) Rounds will be five minutes each, with a one-minute rest period between each round, but there will be no limit to how many rounds a fight can go. No elbows or knees will be allowed.
Two referees will do their best to control the action. When a fighter is stopped by knockout, submission, or referee stoppage, a one-minute rest is called to give officials time to remove the eliminated fighter, before the fight is re-started. If an eliminated fighter is unable to leave the cage within the one-minute period, the other team wins by forfeit. The match ends when one side loses both fighters.
Here’s Farrar defending his creation: “People are trying to pawn it off as some kind of gang fight. That’s not the case. The people fighting at this time are … the lower level guys that are crazy enough to attempt it. I’m a huge MMA fan and the last thing I want to do is bring anything less than pride to this sport. But I do believe that there’s a lot of merit, and it’s definitely not a tag-team. People want to paint it as a sideshow. That’s definitely not the case. This is a serious fight, and there’s a lot of team aspects that are added that are exciting.”
Does two-on-two MMA sound crazy? Sure. But it reflects reality in a way that those other MMA variations don’t. This is basically a controlled version of you and your buddy getting into it with a couple of knuckleheads at a bar. There are no weird tag-in rules. There’s no every-man-for-himself Battle Royale element. There are no motorcycles flying above your head. It’s a normal fight. The only difference is, you have a wingman by your side, which will compel the fighters to cooperate, or occasionally come to the defense of their teammate.
So yes, you MMA purists will have to forgive me, but I want to see this thing as soon as it hits YouTube. In fact, the only hypothetical MMA variation I want to see more is 3-on-3 MMA held under King of Fighters ’94 rules. Think about it. You have a Blackzilians team composed of Rashad Evans, Tyrone Spong, and Michael Johnson, facing a Blacktalians team composed of Chris Weidman, Constantinos Philippou, and a 215-pound Matt Serra. The leadoff men from each team fight one-on-one until somebody is KO’d or submitted, and then that defeated fighter is immediately replaced by the next person in line on his team. The fight continues until all three members of a team are eliminated. Why the hell not, right? The world has already gone insane…
Bad news: it’s starting to look like this thing is really happening. Worse news: as if the combatants themselves weren’t awful enough, the injection of special rules qualify it as an early runner for the least-meaningful highly-publicized fight ever.
Bad news: it’s starting to look like this thing is really happening. Worse news: as if the combatants themselves weren’t awful enough, the injection of special rules qualify it as an early runner for the least-meaningful highly-publicized fight ever.
Realizing that 47 year old Ken Shamrock has lost a lot of spring in his step and that the 42 year old James Toney required Photoshop to get in shape for his infamous MMA debut against Randy Couture at UFC 118, the promoters thought it wise to give the pair plenty of stool time. The fight will be contested in eight 3-minute rounds. Further eliminating any shred of credibility the bout may have feigned, there will be a thirty-second “shot clock” once the fight hits the mat. Clearly the promoters did their research and realized that if anything’s going to happen on the ground, it is guaranteed to go down within half a minute of hitting the mat. Besides, inserting arbitrary rules into a fight to create an exciting “striker vs. grappler” match-up always goes so well.
As a lifelong Ken Shamrock fan, you’re probably relieved that he’ll get a chance to work his magic in the stand-up without the threat of Toney’s relentless leg-lock attacks. Well, congrats, you know your Shamrock well:
“I’m going to get in his face. I’m going to put my gloves in his face, and I’m going to rough him up. Because he’s used to fighting nice, pretty boxing. I know how to fight dirty boxing. I’m going to get in his face and I’m going to beat him up… I promise you I will not take him down, not until I put my hands in your face and I put a beating on you and then I’ll take you down and then I’ll play with you.”
Erotic stuff, Ken. This bout is expected to go down in the lawless badlands of Texas in September. There are any number of reasons why it won’t actually take place, and we’ll be holding our breath until the opening bell that this bout joins the list of fights that were “over before they started”, but until then we’ll milk this shit for all it’s worth. Fight picking contest, anyone?… Anyone?
There’s really no easy way to tell you this, so we’re just going to come right out and say it: As first reported by BJPenn.com, UFC Hall of Famer Ken Shamrock and trash-talking boxing champ turned Randy Couture choke-victimJames Toney have agreed to face each other in an MMA bout this fall. The original report pegged the match to an unnamed event in El Paso, Texas, on September 23rd, but Toney’s trainer Trever Sherman says the bout could happen in September or October, and that Texas was simply the most likely location at this point; more details will be hashed out this weekend between the two fighters’ camps.
Look, we all had a good time laughing at Toney’s misfortune after all the smack he talked leading up to his humiliating MMA debut at UFC 118. But we gotta give him credit for getting back up on the horse. And to be brutally honest, he stands a much better chance against Shamrock, who hasn’t had much success over the last few years, outside of a plodding decision over the rotund Jonathan Ivey last year. (We’re not counting Shamrock’s 2009 submission over Ross Clifton as a legitimate victory, considering he tested positive for steroids after the fight, and Clifton was just seven months away from death at the time of the fight.)
There’s really no easy way to tell you this, so we’re just going to come right out and say it: As first reported by BJPenn.com, UFC Hall of Famer Ken Shamrock and trash-talking boxing champ turned Randy Couture choke-victimJames Toney have agreed to face each other in an MMA bout this fall. The original report pegged the match to an unnamed event in El Paso, Texas, on September 23rd, but Toney’s trainer Trever Sherman says the bout could happen in September or October, and that Texas was simply the most likely location at this point; more details will be hashed out this weekend between the two fighters’ camps.
Look, we all had a good time laughing at Toney’s misfortune after all the smack he talked leading up to his humiliating MMA debut at UFC 118. But we gotta give him credit for getting back up on the horse. And to be brutally honest, he stands a much better chance against Shamrock, who hasn’t had much success over the last few years, outside of a plodding decision over the rotund Jonathan Ivey last year. (We’re not counting Shamrock’s 2009 submission over Ross Clifton as a legitimate victory, considering he tested positive for steroids after the fight, and Clifton was just seven months away from death at the time of the fight.)
Shamrock has lost a lot of his former athleticism, and might not be able to score a takedown against Toney as easily as Couture did. Still, Sherman is expecting a similar gameplan — for both fighters: “The takedown is Ken’s only chance. I respect Ken as much as I do Randy. He’s one of the reasons we have this art. But he can’t stand with James. Randy proved that. He didn’t stand with him for 10 seconds. No one will make that mistake. I want James to go in with hands down by his waist and dare Ken to punch with him.”
James Toney already has the #1 spot locked up for the best American freak show fights in MMA history. If this fight actually comes together, I believe we’ll have a new entry at the top.
