On This Day in MMA History: “The Last Emperor” Decapitates Brett Rogers, Earns Dana White’s Respect & Retires With P4P G.O.A.T. Status Intact

I definitely have a huge advantage when it comes down to exchanging punches. That’s my strong point, and that’s definitely going to be his weak point.

I can’t not picture me knocking him out. So he better do some chin-ups or whatever he needs to do to make him strong, because I’m coming for him. He’s not going to be able to handle my power standing and banging. He stands in the pocket with me, he’s gonna get knocked out. 

Those words might as well have served as the last will and testament of noted patriarch Brett Rogers, who upon saying them, all but signed up to be violently and karmatically (for a number of reasons) knocked out by Fedor Emelianenko at Strikeforce: Fedor vs. Rogers on November 7th, 2009 — four years ago today.

Us Zuffa shills tend to forget this, but before Anderson Silva, Jon Jones, or Georges St. Pierre started dominating our “Greatest Mixed Martial Artist of All Time” (aka “The G.O.A.T”) debates, there was an emotionless Russian killer who was universally viewed in this light. His name was Fedor Emelianenko, and after quietly building a reputation as PRIDE‘s most dominant fighter over in Japan, “The Last Emperor” made his long-awaited stateside debut against Tim Sylvia at Affliction: Banned in July of 2008.

The fight would confirm what we already knew about Fedor, as would his next fight with Andrei Arlovski at Affliction: Day of Reckoning, but it wasn’t until his monumental signing with Strikeforce (a Strikeforce was kind of like a Bellator, but we don’t have time to discuss semantics) that US fans were truly introduced to the mythical Russian. And for his first “true” test, Emelianenko was given Brett “Da Grim” Rogers, a then-undefeated slugger who had one-upped Fedor by KO’ing Arlovski in just 22 seconds in his previous fight.

I definitely have a huge advantage when it comes down to exchanging punches. That’s my strong point, and that’s definitely going to be his weak point.

I can’t not picture me knocking him out. So he better do some chin-ups or whatever he needs to do to make him strong, because I’m coming for him. He’s not going to be able to handle my power standing and banging. He stands in the pocket with me, he’s gonna get knocked out. 

Those words might as well have served as the last will and testament of noted patriarch Brett Rogers, who upon saying them, all but signed up to be violently and karmatically (for a number of reasons) knocked out by Fedor Emelianenko at Strikeforce: Fedor vs. Rogers on November 7th, 2009 – four years ago today.

Us Zuffa shills tend to forget this, but before Anderson Silva, Jon Jones, or Georges St. Pierre started dominating our “Greatest Mixed Martial Artist of All Time” (aka “The G.O.A.T”) debates, there was an emotionless Russian killer who was universally viewed in this light. His name was Fedor Emelianenko, and after quietly building a reputation as PRIDE‘s most dominant fighter over in Japan, “The Last Emperor” made his long-awaited stateside debut against Tim Sylvia at Affliction: Banned in July of 2008.

The fight would confirm what we already knew about Fedor, as would his next fight with Andrei Arlovski at Affliction: Day of Reckoning, but it wasn’t until his monumental signing with Strikeforce (a Strikeforce was kind of like a Bellator, but we don’t have time to discuss semantics) that US fans were truly introduced to the mythical Russian. And for his first “true” test, Emelianenko was given Brett “Da Grim” Rogers, a then-undefeated slugger who had one-upped Fedor by KO’ing Arlovski in just 22 seconds in his previous fight.

Fedor fans near and far flooded Illinois for the chance to see their hero compete. Fedor detractors (*cough* Dana White *cough*), on the other hand, were chomping at the bit to see him fail like they knew he would all along. And for the first five minutes of the contest, it looked as if the latter group might actually get their wish. Rogers punished Emelianenko with ground-n-pound, leaving “The Last Emperor” in worse shape than fans had ever seen prior.

But there is a reason why one round MMA fights were outlawed in the Geneva Convention, Potato Nation.

Like a scene out of a Friday the 13th movie (specifically, Jason Takes Manhattan), Emelianenko literally decapitated a gassed Rogers with an overhand right just under two minutes into the second, silencing his haters and solidifying his legacy as the baddest man to ever walk the Earth ever.

If our memory serves us correct, Fedor was legally forced to retire from mixed martial and register his hands as weapons of mass destruction after the Rogers fight. Emelianenko would abide with the grace and humility he had become infamous for over his long career, leaving behind a 32-1 record and a lifetime’s worth of highlight reel finishes. Yep, that’s how we are choosing to remember it. LALALALALA WE CAN’T HEAR YOU, FABRICIO.

Check out a full replay of Fedor vs. Rogers below, then ask yourself if we’ll ever see a fighter as perfect and unbeatable as Emelianenko again. Spoiler alert: The answer is no.

J. Jones

‘Glorious Sweater of Absolute Victory’ Comes Out of Retirement for One Last Run at Heavyweight Sweater-Title [VIDEO]

(Props: serpreg via MiddleEasy)

The Glorious Sweater of Absolute Victory was more than a beloved Internet meme — it was a JoBu-esque talisman, embodying Fedor Emelianenko‘s supernatural talent as a fighter, and leading to his eventual downfall when he turned his back on it. Fedor first began wearing the GSoAV non-stop in 2009, then abruptly stopped before his losing streak in Strikeforce, which is too eerie to be a coincidence. Though he tried to appease the sweater by wearing it again before his July 2011 fight against Dan Henderson, it spitefully withheld its powers, teaching Fedor a painful but valuable lesson about loyalty.

But after another extended hiatus, the GSoAV re-appeared (magically?) before Fedor’s first-round knockout of Satoshi Ishii last December. It’s back again in this new footage, which proves that Fedor isn’t leaving his upcoming fight against Pedro Rizzo to chance.


(Props: serpreg via MiddleEasy)

The Glorious Sweater of Absolute Victory was more than a beloved Internet meme — it was a JoBu-esque talisman, embodying Fedor Emelianenko‘s supernatural talent as a fighter, and leading to his eventual downfall when he turned his back on it. Fedor first began wearing the GSoAV non-stop in 2009, then abruptly stopped before his losing streak in Strikeforce, which is too eerie to be a coincidence. Though he tried to appease the sweater by wearing it again before his July 2011 fight against Dan Henderson, it spitefully withheld its powers, teaching Fedor a painful but valuable lesson about loyalty.

But after another extended hiatus, the GSoAV re-appeared (magically?) before Fedor’s first-round knockout of Satoshi Ishii last December. It’s back again in this new footage, which proves that Fedor isn’t leaving his upcoming fight against Pedro Rizzo to chance.

Video of the Day: The Glorious Sweater of Absolute Victory Has Returned

It’s official: Satoshi Ishii is a dead man walking. Don’t call it a comeback, but Fedor Emelianenko was spotted on his return flight home from Holland donning none other than the Glorious Sweater of Absolute Victory, or as MMA Mania calls it, The Ultimate Sweater of Destruction. I’m not going to lie to you, Potato Nation, I had to paste that name directly from their article, because as I tried to type it, it was as if some otherworldly force took over my body, choked me within an inch of my life, and then forced me to smash the ice cream cone I was eating into my face. Weird.

The sweater, which was retired amidst an undercover attempt by the Russian government to assassinate “The Last Emperor” and use its powers to bring on a new Ice Age, has been the sole factor in Emelianenko’s recent three fight skid, which saw him submitted by Fabricio Werdum before being TKO’ed by Antonio Silva and Dan Henderson. After a recent, secret shift in the Russian power paradigm, Emelianenko told CagePotato in an exclusive and possibly fake interview that he feels safe to wear the sweater again, and looks forward to going on another 30 fight win streak that will culminate in a “two man enter, one man leaves” match against Dan Severn.

It’s official: Satoshi Ishii is a dead man walking. Don’t call it a comeback, but Fedor Emelianenko was spotted on his return flight home from Holland donning none other than the Glorious Sweater of Absolute Victory, or as MMA Mania calls it, The Ultimate Sweater of Destruction. I’m not going to lie to you, Potato Nation, I had to paste that name directly from their article, because as I tried to type it, it was as if some otherworldly force took over my body, choked me within an inch of my life, and then forced me to smash the ice cream cone I was eating into my face. Weird.

The sweater, which was retired amidst an undercover attempt by the Russian government to assassinate “The Last Emperor” and use its powers to bring on a new Ice Age, has been the sole factor in Emelianenko’s recent three fight skid, which saw him submitted by Fabricio Werdum before being TKO’ed by Antonio Silva and Dan Henderson. After a recent, secret shift in the Russian power paradigm, Emelianenko told CagePotato in an exclusive and possibly fake interview that he feels safe to wear the sweater again, and looks forward to going on another 30 fight win streak that will culminate in a “two man enter, one man leaves” match against Dan Severn.

As we all know, Emelianenko is set to face the former Olympic Gold Medalist on New Year’s Eve in Japan. And as per usual, Fedor was nothing but respectful when discussing his upcoming opponent:

I consider Ishii to be a serious opponent; he’s a very strong guy and great wrestler. Plus it’s clear that he is able to utilize his best characteristics in the fight. I will have to adapt, I’ll have to see how Ishii will be moving around the ring during the fight, what will he offer me, and what will I be able to showcase myself. It will all depend on the situation in the ring. 

Well one thing’s for sure, “God’s will” just got a hell of a lot stronger with the return of the GSoAV. So suck it, you cynics; there is simply nothing stopping Fedor’s inevitable return to glory, and it is only a matter of time until we refer to him as “The Undisputed UFC Heavyweight Champion of the World Colon Wicked Awesome Emperor Backslash The Real People’s Champ.com” You can call it fanboyism, but we’re calling it fact.

-Danga 

Fedor Retires Glorious Sweater of Absolute Victory, Wants ‘Honest’ Fight with Overeem

(Goodnight, sweet prince.)
The last time Fedor Emelianenko was scheduled to appear on The MMA Hour with Ariel Helwani he went abruptly missing on the streets of New York, leaving Helwani to make a couple hours of awkward small talk with M-1 Global sp…


(Goodnight, sweet prince.)

The last time Fedor Emelianenko was scheduled to appear on The MMA Hour with Ariel Helwani he went abruptly missing on the streets of New York, leaving Helwani to make a couple hours of awkward small talk with M-1 Global spokeshipster Evegni Kogan. On Monday the second time was the charm, as Fedor finally found his way to the studio to provide docile, down-to-earth answers to all Helwani’s questions. Yeah, it went exactly as expected, except for one piece of stunning Breaking News: Fedor says his widely celebrated Glorious Sweater of Absolute Victory is now retired. Oh also, he still wants Alistair Overeem drug tested if they are to fight in the Strikeforce heavyweight grand prix.

True to form, Emelianenko expressed childlike bewilderment at the attention the Glorious Sweater garnered on the American MMA scene – mostly in chat rooms and on this website — during its storied career. In fact, he said he doesn’t even know where the magnificent garment is anymore, though we assume it’s living quietly on a pension somewhere on the Gulf Coast of Florida.

read more