Tag: Insanity

Anderson Silva, Nick Diaz Fail UFC 183 Drug Tests for Drostanolone, Marijuana

Wow.

There’s really no way to beat around the bush here, so let’s get right to it. Last night, it was revealed that Anderson Silva tested positive for two types of anabolic steroids in an out-of-competition drug test given on January 9th. His UFC 183 opponent, Nick Diaz, also tested positive for marijuana metabolites (AGAIN), albeit in in his UFC 183 post-fight drug test.

Son. of. a. bitch.

Details after the jump.

Wow.

There’s really no way to beat around the bush here, so let’s get right to it. Last night, it was revealed that Anderson Silva tested positive for two types of anabolic steroids in an out-of-competition drug test given on January 9th. His UFC 183 opponent, Nick Diaz, also tested positive for marijuana metabolites (AGAIN), albeit in in his UFC 183 post-fight drug test.

Son. of. a. bitch.

According to an official statement released by the UFC last night, Silva tested positive for both Drostanolone and Androsterone just a little over a month out from his UFC 183 headliner

On February 3, 2015, the UFC organization was notified by the Nevada State Athletic Commission that Anderson Silva tested positive for Drostanolone metabolites on his Jan. 9 out of competition drug test. UFC’s understanding is that further testing will be conducted by the Commission to confirm these preliminary results.

Anderson Silva has been an amazing champion and a true ambassador of the sport of mixed martial arts and the UFC, in Brazil as well as around the world. UFC is disappointed to learn of these initial results.

The UFC has a strict, consistent policy against the use of any illegal and/or performance enhancing drugs, stimulants or masking agents by its athletes.

Likewise, the UFC released this statement on Diaz’s failed test:

The UFC has been notified by the Nevada State Athletic Commission that Nick Diaz has tested positive for marijuana metabolites following his fight with Anderson Silva at UFC 183 on Jan. 31 in Las Vegas, Nev. The UFC has a strict, consistent policy against the use of any illegal and/or performance enhancing drugs, stimulants or masking agents by our athletes. As a result of his positive test, Diaz has been informed that he has violated the UFC Fighter Conduct Policy and Promotional Agreement with Zuffa, LLC. The UFC organization will fully respect the Commission’s final decision relating to Diaz at a disciplinary hearing set for February 17.

I don’t even know what to say. This is unbelievable — the Silva thing, not the Diaz thing. If you didn’t see Diaz’s latest UFC run being cut short by a failed drug test, then I’ve got a bridge to sell you. But even with the evidence so stacked against Silva, I can’t even muster the strength or desire to express my outrage at the GOAT’s decision to tarnish his legacy for a one-off freakshow fight that he never needed to take in the first place. Nor can I feign my outrage at the UFC for releasing that laughably bullshit statement on the issue, or the Nevada State Athletic Commission for once again allowing a fight to take place over a month after one of the fighters was busted by a random drug test. Maybe I’ve just seen this bearded lady one too many times, so to speak, or maybe I’m just getting too old for this shit.

Of course, I imagine the Nevada State Athletic Commission owes us an explanation as to how Silva vs. Diaz was even allowed to happen given Silva’s pre-fight failure. I mean, cocaine is one thing (apparently), but how are they going to explain their latest glaring oversight this time?

Well according to NSAC Chairman Francisco Aguilar, they would have called the fight, but they didn’t get the results in time. Oh, what a world! (via MMAFighting):

I would have had no problem calling the fight once I had this result. Those are not acceptable substances. But at the very least, by doing this out-of-competition test, we found this. We wouldn’t have known had we not done the out-of-competition test.

Oh, and NSAC Director Bob Bennett has also chimed in, calling the turnover rate for these pre-fight drug tests “unacceptable.”

The time lapse is unacceptable. We’ve made arrangements with the lab to make sure we get the results within seven days and they are working hand in glove with us on this.

Oh, well thank God that’s all solved. I’m sure we won’t run into this exact same issue the next time a major UFC pay-per-view is in town.

Bennett’s statement on Silva’s test, as it was with Jones’, is obviously bullshit. Thinly-veiled bullshit. You mean to tell me that the NSAC has been in charge of these tests for as long as they have, and are just now taking the steps to ensure that their pre-fight drug test results arrive before the actual fight is happening? What’s the point of even doing pre-fight test if you don’t get the results back until after the fight is over? WILL SOMEONE, FOR ONCE, JUST ADMIT THAT OUR SPORT IS A FARCE AND STOP TALKING TO US LIKE WE’RE CHILDREN?!!

Among the critics of the NSAC’s blatant incompetence has been Dr. Johnny Benjamin, who took to Twitter to vent his frustrations last night.

And the real answer is simple, Jon. Because then the UFC would have had to cancel two of the biggest events of the year, losing themselves (and the NSAC) millions of dollars in the process.

For what it’s worth, Silva is claiming innocence in the matter. As his doctor, Marcio Tannure, recently told Band News Radio:

Anderson told me he’s disappointed, upset because he didn’t use steroids. He will ask for the confirmation test because he believes the only explanation is a contamination or a mistake from the lab. He told me: ‘I have an impeccable career history and I wouldn’t want to tarnish my image.’

Well, it’s too late for that, Andy.

Silva and Diaz are both expected to appear at a Feb. 17 commission meeting in Nevada. According to Aguilar, a full hearing for Silva is expected to take place at an NAC meeting in either March or April. We will have more on this story as details are made available, but for now, let’s all just pour ourselves a stiff drink and nod in agreement with all of this:

-J. Jones

CagePotato PSA: So About That Last “CagePotato PSA”…

Free Cage Potato dog
(It’s more “Save” than “Free” now, but the message is still relevant.)

By Jared Jones

Good morning, Nation.

If you’ve visited CagePotato within the past few days, you’ve likely read my inspiring and totally original war speech which triumphantly declared that we will not be be going quietly into the night, nor will we be vanishing without a fight, and so on and so forth. You were likely moved to tears by this heartrending and undeniably epic rally cry, and most certainly hugged your loved ones a little tighter before tucking them into bed, reminding them to never, ever take anything in life for granted.

And while I wasn’t technically wrong in declaring that CP’s flame will forever burn, it turns out that my soaring call to arms might have been a bit, presumptuous…

Free Cage Potato dog
(It’s more “Save” than “Free” now, but the message is still relevant.)

By Jared Jones

Good morning, Nation.

If you’ve visited CagePotato within the past few days, you’ve likely read my inspiring and totally original war speech which triumphantly declared that we will not be be going quietly into the night, nor will we be vanishing without a fight, and so on and so forth. You were likely moved to tears by this heartrending and undeniably epic rally cry, and most certainly hugged your loved ones a little tighter before tucking them into bed, reminding them to never, ever take anything in life for granted.

And while I wasn’t technically wrong in declaring that CP’s flame will forever burn, it turns out that my soaring call to arms might have been a bit, presumptuous…

Starting February 1st, I will be CagePotato’s last and lone remaining soldier, and my contributions to the site will be severely cut back. It is a backbreaking development to say the least, and one that could very well chase away the last of you who still consider CP your go-to source for all things MMA.

With CP clinging to life support, I have been forced to resort to what few options are still available. So here’s what I’m prepared to do:

1). Moving forward, CagePotato will become the *true* voice of MMA fans across the globe. This means we will be accepting, editing, and if they’re up to snuff, publishing YOUR contributions as if they were our own. (You’ll still be getting the credit, of course, and all that sweet blogger tail that comes with it). Have some thoughts on a potential opponent for Kimbo’s Bellator debut, an upcoming UFC event, or just feel like sharing a “Martial Arts Fail of the Week” (RIP Saccaro) clip? Well as long as you’re willing to work for free, contact us — either via email or our Twitter (or mine) — and get to writing.

2). Although we’re still waiting on approval from corporate, we are hoping to launch a crowdfunding campaign in the immediate future in order to provide the necessary capital to keep CP running. Being that we’ve been reduced to a one-man operation, it is going to require some man hours to edit and publish all your contributions, so if you truly love the original and occasionally humorous voice that CP provides to the MMA community, open up your wallets…er…hearts and show your support. There will be prizes for the highest donors, if that helps. (More on this later.)

3). Yes, we are currently working on restoring a commenting system that both works and is accessible through other mediums than Facebook. Also, we know our gallery viewer sucks and we’re fixing that as well. Again, these are things that your monetary contributions will go towards fixing.

I cannot begin to describe how much your support has meant to us so far, and hope that you will continue to rally behind CagePotato in these dark times. BG would be proud of you sonsabitches, so please, let’s keep this thing going by any means possible. The Time Is Now…to #RallyforCagePotato.

Ten Unrelated Thoughts About Running a Mid-Level MMA Blog — A Goodbye Letter From BG

(Author’s note: Please listen to this song while reading the column below. When it ends, listen to it again.)

By Ben Goldstein

1. I was 26, I had just gotten fired for the first time, and I was scared about making rent in New York without a job. A guy I sort of knew hired me to launch a blog about MMA for a media company based in Los Angeles. It was more money that I was making as a low-level editor for a low-level men’s magazine, and I could do it from home. Seemed like a better plan than unemployment.

2. My God, that was over seven years ago. George W. Bush was president. MMA was “the world’s fastest growing sport.” Everything seemed possible.

3. Running CagePotato was the greatest job I ever had because I could write what I wanted without being edited or censored. Developing a roster of like-minded outlaw-writers was a blast (see list of thank-yous, below), and the job helped me discover talents I didn’t even know I possessed. Plus, working from home meant I never had to use an office bathroom stall next to a co-worker after lunch. Some of you don’t understand what a luxury that is.

4. Running CagePotato was the hardest job I ever had because it was the first time I had genuine responsibility in my professional life. I was judged for my site’s performance, and people depended on me showing up every day. Sometimes, I got yelled at.


(Author’s note: Please listen to this song while reading the column below. When it ends, listen to it again.)

By Ben Goldstein

1. I was 26, I had just gotten fired for the first time, and I was scared about making rent in New York without a job. A guy I sort of knew hired me to launch a blog about MMA for a media company based in Los Angeles. It was more money that I was making as a low-level editor for a low-level men’s magazine, and I could do it from home. Seemed like a better plan than unemployment.

2. My God, that was over seven years ago. George W. Bush was president. MMA was “the world’s fastest growing sport.” Everything seemed possible.

3. Running CagePotato was the greatest job I ever had because I could write what I wanted without being edited or censored. Developing a roster of like-minded outlaw-writers was a blast (see list of thank-yous, below), and the job helped me discover talents I didn’t even know I possessed. Plus, working from home meant I never had to use an office bathroom stall next to a co-worker after lunch. Some of you don’t understand what a luxury that is.

4. Running CagePotato was the hardest job I ever had because it was the first time I had genuine responsibility in my professional life. I was judged for my site’s performance, and people depended on me showing up every day. Sometimes, I got yelled at.

5. There was the time the New Yorker mentioned us, and the time our name showed up on Lights Out, and the time we were threatened with legal action over a photo caption, and every time something like that happened, I realized that people were paying attention. It’s an incredible feeling, and it never got old.

6. Speaking of photo captions, I’ll miss writing photo captions.

7. Of course, the CP experiences I’ll remember the most are the ones in which I actually left my desk: Invading the UFC Fan Expo in Boston with ReX13 and Viva Hate, where we shut down an entire corridor of the convention hall with our punch machine. (Thanks Pat! Thanks Bruce!) Partying in Toronto with Mike Russell and Brian D’Souza and Bern and Stefan and AgentSmith and everyone else. Road-tripping to a Bellator show in Mount Pleasant with Jason Moles. Watching Fedor knock Brett Rogers’s head off from press row, and trying to stay professional about it, while inside my head I was like HELL YEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! Even the times I just took the subway somewhere else in Manhattan to interview Urijah Faber or Carlos Condit or Randy Couture. Those were good days.

8. My departure from CagePotato concludes the most important stretch of my adult life so far, and I haven’t finished processing my emotions about it, which are intense and conflicting. I’m sad to leave my own creation, I’m scared about the uncertainty of my future, and I’m completely thrilled to take a break from caring about MMA, at least temporarily. More than anything, I’m thankful I had the chance to do something that mattered to people. And I’m thankful to have covered the sport during 2008-2009, when MMA was at its peak level of excitement and insanity, before it all started to fall apart.

9. CagePotato wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but I like to think its existence was necessary. I launched the site with the goal of creating the most entertaining MMA site on the Internet. Along the way, the goal evolved into something much greater — truth-telling, exposing bullshit in all corners of the industry, saying what others couldn’t get away with saying. Whatever happens to the site, please don’t let this spirit die out. Pick up the mantle, continue the fight without me.

10. Everyone who ever wrote for CagePotato — or who even read the site on a regular basis — deserves my sincere gratitude. But of course, there are a few people who are worthy of additional thanks. Here they are, loosely arranged in chronological order…

Jonathan Small, who hired me in October 2007 and came up with the name CagePotato. (I’m still on the fence about it, but I guess it’ll work for now.)

Keith Richman, who allowed Jonathan Small to hire me, and supported CagePotato’s existence for over seven years. I owe you one, Keith.

My wife Rachel, who allowed me to work out of the bedroom in our first apartment, and the kitchen in our next apartment, and the space between the dining room and the living room in our next apartment, and in what would have been a nice guest bedroom in the house that we live in now, and who has been admirably patient with a husband who is always at home and rarely in presentable condition before noon. When I started writing this farewell column, I went into my Gmail and tried to find the earliest references to CagePotato, but I got distracted reading through my wife and I’s old email exchanges from like 2007-2008. Just a couple of shmoopy twenty-somethings in looooooove. We weren’t married yet, and this thing was our greatest joint responsibility. What a time to be alive. Reading our old emails was the most enjoyable part of putting this all together. Rachel, I just fucking love you to death. None of this works without you.

Ben Fowlkes: The best sparring partner a writer could have. Everything that happened on CagePotato pre-BF was just prologue. The official launch of the site, in my eyes, happened when Fowlkes came on as a staff writer in May 2008, and started putting out work that was just as madcap as the posts I’d been writing, but much more polished and thoughtful. His success in this industry was inevitable, and I’m so grateful for the two years he spent on CP. There’s no way the site would have caught on in those early days if not for Ben Fowlkes. He set a bar that every CagePotato writer who followed him aspired to reach. And then when he left, CagePotato sucked, and nobody even went there anymore. The end.

Doug “ReX13” Richardson: Defender of the realm. The only CP staff writer immortalized in a video game, and the guy who first suggested that maybe we should cover Bellator once in a while. I remember our first date at that gay barbecue joint like it was yesterday. Love and bro-hugs forever.

Chad Dundas: CP’s first weekend editor and MMA’s most vocal cheating-advocate. A man who really knew how to bury an event, back when a garbage UFC card was actually a rare occurrence. As he wrote in his own farewell, “I think this website fills a valuable niche in our dark little corner of the web. Somebody’s got to point out when the people in this industry say ridiculous shit, wear ridiculous T-shirts and marry ridiculous porn stars. That somebody, as far as I’m concerned is CagePotato and I hope it continues to fill that need long after we’ve all grown up and taken part time jobs at major corporations.”

Mike Russell: The Gusbuster. New Dad. The only one in our crew who knew how to produce a podcast and use Photoshop. My co-pilot during CagePotato’s peak of popularity, in terms of site traffic. I’m sorry things didn’t end well. You deserved better.

Brian J. D’Souza: Having Brian’s writing on the site — not just Shill ‘Em All, but also his great one-off columns like this and this — is probably the closest that CagePotato has come to being a respectable journalistic enterprise, worthy of actual awards.  When I was in Toronto for UFC 129, Brian and I met up for lunch, and he told me something I’ll never forget: “The UFC doesn’t like you because they’re afraid of you.” I’d never thought about it like that. Brian made me realize the power of outsider MMA media, and why outlets like CagePotato can be dangerous forces for good. Giving brilliant, uncompromising writers like Brian an outlet to speak freely means more to me than any other professional accomplishment in my life.

Seth Falvo: The inspirational true story of an American hero who started out as a commenter and became a CagePotato staff writer and master of pro-wrestling analogies. A legitimately talented reporter when he wasn’t bartending.

Chris Coleman: Still my favorite caption in CagePotato history.

Jared Jones: The Prince of Darkness. My evil henchman. An unreliable screw-up (and possible Satanist?), and yet he was the only person I trusted to keep an eye on the site when I was on vacation. Probably the funniest writer CP has ever had, in terms of LOLs-per-paragraph, and certainly the best at expressing the crushing absurdity of our collective situation. You haven’t seen the last of our professional relationship. Jared and I plan to start a band together in the spring.

Matt Saccaro: In all my rapturous praise of this man I forgot to mention how much I loved the first FoodPotato column and his hilarious Martial Arts Fail of the Week series. I will take you up on that magic ice cream offer the next time I’m in New York, brother.

Alex Macris: Archon, The Final Boss. The only time we met in person, it was during a week-long blizzard in North Carolina that I think he might have been responsible for, somehow. An enviable mind. Thanks for your encouragement and patience.

That’s all for now, Potato Nation. I wish things had worked out differently in some ways — stories for another day, perhaps — but I’m incredibly proud of what we all accomplished together, and the impact we made in the grimy, insane world of MMA. When all is said and done, I never broke my balls for anyone, and I never subscribed to Fight Pass. I can live with that. It’s been an amazing ride, you guys; time to get on the next one.

Follow Ben on twitter @goldsteinraw.

Ten Unrelated Thoughts About Running a Mid-Level MMA Blog — A Goodbye Letter From BG

(Author’s note: Please listen to this song while reading the column below. When it ends, listen to it again.)

By Ben Goldstein

1. I was 26, I had just gotten fired for the first time, and I was scared about making rent in New York without a job. A guy I sort of knew hired me to launch a blog about MMA for a media company based in Los Angeles. It was more money that I was making as a low-level editor for a low-level men’s magazine, and I could do it from home. Seemed like a better plan than unemployment.

2. My God, that was over seven years ago. George W. Bush was president. MMA was “the world’s fastest growing sport.” Everything seemed possible.

3. Running CagePotato was the greatest job I ever had because I could write what I wanted without being edited or censored. Developing a roster of like-minded outlaw-writers was a blast (see list of thank-yous, below), and the job helped me discover talents I didn’t even know I possessed. Plus, working from home meant I never had to use an office bathroom stall next to a co-worker after lunch. Some of you don’t understand what a luxury that is.

4. Running CagePotato was the hardest job I ever had because it was the first time I had genuine responsibility in my professional life. I was judged for my site’s performance, and people depended on me showing up every day. Sometimes, I got yelled at.


(Author’s note: Please listen to this song while reading the column below. When it ends, listen to it again.)

By Ben Goldstein

1. I was 26, I had just gotten fired for the first time, and I was scared about making rent in New York without a job. A guy I sort of knew hired me to launch a blog about MMA for a media company based in Los Angeles. It was more money that I was making as a low-level editor for a low-level men’s magazine, and I could do it from home. Seemed like a better plan than unemployment.

2. My God, that was over seven years ago. George W. Bush was president. MMA was “the world’s fastest growing sport.” Everything seemed possible.

3. Running CagePotato was the greatest job I ever had because I could write what I wanted without being edited or censored. Developing a roster of like-minded outlaw-writers was a blast (see list of thank-yous, below), and the job helped me discover talents I didn’t even know I possessed. Plus, working from home meant I never had to use an office bathroom stall next to a co-worker after lunch. Some of you don’t understand what a luxury that is.

4. Running CagePotato was the hardest job I ever had because it was the first time I had genuine responsibility in my professional life. I was judged for my site’s performance, and people depended on me showing up every day. Sometimes, I got yelled at.

5. There was the time the New Yorker mentioned us, and the time our name showed up on Lights Out, and the time we were threatened with legal action over a photo caption, and every time something like that happened, I realized that people were paying attention. It’s an incredible feeling, and it never got old.

6. Speaking of photo captions, I’ll miss writing photo captions.

7. Of course, the CP experiences I’ll remember the most are the ones in which I actually left my desk: Invading the UFC Fan Expo in Boston with ReX13 and Viva Hate, where we shut down an entire corridor of the convention hall with our punch machine. (Thanks Pat! Thanks Bruce!) Partying in Toronto with Mike Russell and Brian D’Souza and Bern and Stefan and AgentSmith and everyone else. Road-tripping to a Bellator show in Mount Pleasant with Jason Moles. Watching Fedor knock Brett Rogers’s head off from press row, and trying to stay professional about it, while inside my head I was like HELL YEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! Even the times I just took the subway somewhere else in Manhattan to interview Urijah Faber or Carlos Condit or Randy Couture. Those were good days.

8. My departure from CagePotato concludes the most important stretch of my adult life so far, and I haven’t finished processing my emotions about it, which are intense and conflicting. I’m sad to leave my own creation, I’m scared about the uncertainty of my future, and I’m completely thrilled to take a break from caring about MMA, at least temporarily. More than anything, I’m thankful I had the chance to do something that mattered to people. And I’m thankful to have covered the sport during 2008-2009, when MMA was at its peak level of excitement and insanity, before it all started to fall apart.

9. CagePotato wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but I like to think its existence was necessary. I launched the site with the goal of creating the most entertaining MMA site on the Internet. Along the way, the goal evolved into something much greater — truth-telling, exposing bullshit in all corners of the industry, saying what others couldn’t get away with saying. Whatever happens to the site, please don’t let this spirit die out. Pick up the mantle, continue the fight without me.

10. Everyone who ever wrote for CagePotato — or who even read the site on a regular basis — deserves my sincere gratitude. But of course, there are a few people who are worthy of additional thanks. Here they are, loosely arranged in chronological order…

Jonathan Small, who hired me in October 2007 and came up with the name CagePotato. (I’m still on the fence about it, but I guess it’ll work for now.)

Keith Richman, who allowed Jonathan Small to hire me, and supported CagePotato’s existence for over seven years. I owe you one, Keith.

My wife Rachel, who allowed me to work out of the bedroom in our first apartment, and the kitchen in our next apartment, and the space between the dining room and the living room in our next apartment, and in what would have been a nice guest bedroom in the house that we live in now, and who has been admirably patient with a husband who is always at home and rarely in presentable condition before noon. When I started writing this farewell column, I went into my Gmail and tried to find the earliest references to CagePotato, but I got distracted reading through my wife and I’s old email exchanges from like 2007-2008. Just a couple of shmoopy twenty-somethings in looooooove. We weren’t married yet, and this thing was our greatest joint responsibility. What a time to be alive. Reading our old emails was the most enjoyable part of putting this all together. Rachel, I just fucking love you to death. None of this works without you.

Ben Fowlkes: The best sparring partner a writer could have. Everything that happened on CagePotato pre-BF was just prologue. The official launch of the site, in my eyes, happened when Fowlkes came on as a staff writer in May 2008, and started putting out work that was just as madcap as the posts I’d been writing, but much more polished and thoughtful. His success in this industry was inevitable, and I’m so grateful for the two years he spent on CP. There’s no way the site would have caught on in those early days if not for Ben Fowlkes. He set a bar that every CagePotato writer who followed him aspired to reach. And then when he left, CagePotato sucked, and nobody even went there anymore. The end.

Doug “ReX13” Richardson: Defender of the realm. The only CP staff writer immortalized in a video game, and the guy who first suggested that maybe we should cover Bellator once in a while. I remember our first date at that gay barbecue joint like it was yesterday. Love and bro-hugs forever.

Chad Dundas: CP’s first weekend editor and MMA’s most vocal cheating-advocate. A man who really knew how to bury an event, back when a garbage UFC card was actually a rare occurrence. As he wrote in his own farewell, “I think this website fills a valuable niche in our dark little corner of the web. Somebody’s got to point out when the people in this industry say ridiculous shit, wear ridiculous T-shirts and marry ridiculous porn stars. That somebody, as far as I’m concerned is CagePotato and I hope it continues to fill that need long after we’ve all grown up and taken part time jobs at major corporations.”

Mike Russell: The Gusbuster. New Dad. The only one in our crew who knew how to produce a podcast and use Photoshop. My co-pilot during CagePotato’s peak of popularity, in terms of site traffic. I’m sorry things didn’t end well. You deserved better.

Brian J. D’Souza: Having Brian’s writing on the site — not just Shill ‘Em All, but also his great one-off columns like this and this — is probably the closest that CagePotato has come to being a respectable journalistic enterprise, worthy of actual awards.  When I was in Toronto for UFC 129, Brian and I met up for lunch, and he told me something I’ll never forget: “The UFC doesn’t like you because they’re afraid of you.” I’d never thought about it like that. Brian made me realize the power of outsider MMA media, and why outlets like CagePotato can be dangerous forces for good. Giving brilliant, uncompromising writers like Brian an outlet to speak freely means more to me than any other professional accomplishment in my life.

Seth Falvo: The inspirational true story of an American hero who started out as a commenter and became a CagePotato staff writer and master of pro-wrestling analogies. A legitimately talented reporter when he wasn’t bartending.

Chris Coleman: Still my favorite caption in CagePotato history.

Jared Jones: The Prince of Darkness. My evil henchman. An unreliable screw-up (and possible Satanist?), and yet he was the only person I trusted to keep an eye on the site when I was on vacation. Probably the funniest writer CP has ever had, in terms of LOLs-per-paragraph, and certainly the best at expressing the crushing absurdity of our collective situation. You haven’t seen the last of our professional relationship. Jared and I plan to start a band together in the spring.

Matt Saccaro: In all my rapturous praise of this man I forgot to mention how much I loved the first FoodPotato column and his hilarious Martial Arts Fail of the Week series. I will take you up on that magic ice cream offer the next time I’m in New York, brother.

Alex Macris: Archon, The Final Boss. The only time we met in person, it was during a week-long blizzard in North Carolina that I think he might have been responsible for, somehow. An enviable mind. Thanks for your encouragement and patience.

That’s all for now, Potato Nation. I wish things had worked out differently in some ways — stories for another day, perhaps — but I’m incredibly proud of what we all accomplished together, and the impact we made in the grimy, insane world of MMA. When all is said and done, I never broke my balls for anyone, and I never subscribed to Fight Pass. I can live with that. It’s been an amazing ride, you guys; time to get on the next one.

Follow Ben on twitter @goldsteinraw.

Yep, Mirko Cro Cop Is Coming Back to the UFC. Seriously.


(Mirko, good to see you again, old buddy!! Uh….Mirko?)

Well, it’s official: We have entered the era of the UFC signing UFC washouts.

As first reported by BloodyElbow last night and confirmed by the UFC shortly thereafter, Mirko Cro Cop has once again signed with the UFC. As in 40-year old Mirko Cro Cop. As in 0-3 in his past 3 UFC fights and 3-4 in his past 7 overall Mirko Cro Cop. There aren’t enough TheRockeyeroll gifs on the Internet to do this news justice.

Why, OH WHY did the UFC re-sign Cro Cop, you ask? Out of spite, obviously:

The source says that Bellator MMA had been “very close” to signing Filipovic but that the UFC got wind of the deal and stepped in with a big offer. The source says this was “almost certainly” for no other reason than to keep Filipovic away from Bellator and Spike TV and to deprive Bellator frontman Scott Coker – formerly the head of Strikeforce – ammunition with which to work.

(*exhale*) Where do I begin?


(Mirko, good to see you again, old buddy!! Uh….Mirko?)

Well, it’s official: We have entered the era of the UFC signing UFC washouts.

As first reported by BloodyElbow last night and confirmed by the UFC shortly thereafter, Mirko Cro Cop has once again signed with the UFC. As in 40-year old Mirko Cro Cop. As in 0-3 in his past 3 UFC fights and 3-4 in his past 7 overall Mirko Cro Cop. There aren’t enough TheRockeyeroll gifs on the Internet to do this news justice.

Why, OH WHY did the UFC re-sign Cro Cop, you ask? Out of spite, obviously:

The source says that Bellator MMA had been “very close” to signing Filipovic but that the UFC got wind of the deal and stepped in with a big offer. The source says this was “almost certainly” for no other reason than to keep Filipovic away from Bellator and Spike TV and to deprive Bellator frontman Scott Coker – formerly the head of Strikeforce – ammunition with which to work.

(*exhale*) Where do I begin?

Like most of you, I was a huge fan of Cro Cop in his heyday. Just like I was a big Chuck Liddell fan, a big Randy Couture fan, and so on and so forth. This is not to tell you that I am some bandwagon-hopping MMA noob, but rather, that I have always been a fan of watching the best athletes in the world compete in their physical primes. And as a fan of these guys, I find myself genuinely concerned for their health even when they seem to be the furthest thing from it. Legends fade, legacies end, and the cyclical nature of life goes on.

But this, this is the equivalent of a PGA Seniors Tour, except that the seniors are still competing against up-and-comers, and instead of maybe slicing a ball or two into the woods, they get knocked the f*ck out like Mirko was in his last three UFC fights. Mirko Cro Cop is no longer in his physical prime, and this is not meant as a knock against him in any way, shape, or form. Mirko Cro Cop is 40 years old, has suffered 4 TKO losses in the UFC, and is coming off back-to-back wins over Satoshi Ishii. Nothing about this says UFC-caliber, and to declare that the UFC’s signing of him is anything other than batshit insane is, well…batshit insane.

It’s 2015. Mirko Cro Cop has been re-signed by the UFC. CM Punk has been signed by the UFC. Rampage Jackson has been re-signed by the UFC. Kimbo Slice has been signed by Bellator. If you are still under the belief that MMA *isn’t* facing an identity crisis, look no further than these facts. The UFC is failing has failed to create any new stars not named Conor McGregor, so like an 80′s rock band in desperate need of a quick buck, the promotion is embarking on a reunion tour, playing just the hits.

How long do you think it will be before the UFC forces The Iceman *out of* retirement?

–J. Jones

God Help Us, Kimbo Slice Signs With Bellator; Official Announcement to Be Made During Bellator 132 Broadcast


(Kimbo Slice spotted at a Bulls vs Heat playoff game on May 15th, 2013. Notice the subtle graying of his still-mighty beard. / Photo via Getty)

After nearly five years away from MMA competition — Five years! Man, time flies, doesn’t it?! — Kevin “Kimbo Slice” Ferguson will return to the sport in 2015 as a Bellator fighter. The news was first reported by CombatPress, then later confirmed by sources you’ve actually heard of.

An official announcement about the signing is expected to take place during the Bellator 132: Pitbull vs. Straus broadcast, tonight on Spike TV. The official date and opponent for Kimbo’s Bellator debut will be revealed in the coming days.

Rumors about Kevin Ferguson’s Bellator signing have been circulating since last June. The backyard brawler turned cage-fighter turned can-smashing boxer hasn’t competed in MMA fight since his TKO loss to Matt Mitrione at UFC 113, way back in May 2010. Kimbo went on to rack up a 7-0 record in the boxing ring, but hasn’t competed in that sport since January 2013.


(Kimbo Slice spotted at a Bulls vs Heat playoff game on May 15th, 2013. Notice the subtle graying of his still-mighty beard. / Photo via Getty)

After nearly five years away from MMA competition — Five years! Man, time flies, doesn’t it?! — Kevin “Kimbo Slice” Ferguson will return to the sport in 2015 as a Bellator fighter. The news was first reported by CombatPress, then later confirmed by sources you’ve actually heard of.

An official announcement about the signing is expected to take place during the Bellator 132: Pitbull vs. Straus broadcast, tonight on Spike TV. The official date and opponent for Kimbo’s Bellator debut will be revealed in the coming days.

Rumors about Kevin Ferguson’s Bellator signing have been circulating since last June. The backyard brawler turned cage-fighter turned can-smashing boxer hasn’t competed in MMA fight since his TKO loss to Matt Mitrione at UFC 113, way back in May 2010. Kimbo went on to rack up a 7-0 record in the boxing ring, but hasn’t competed in that sport since January 2013.

Honestly, we have no idea what Kimbo Slice has been up to lately. We do know that the interest around his re-appearance in Bellator will be considerable. In his “prime,” Kevin Ferguson smashed viewership records for EliteXC/CBS and The Ultimate Fighter, and his return will draw hordes of nostalgic fans, wistful for MMA’s glory days of 2008-2009. Even at 40 years old, Kimbo Slice has the power to move the needle. It’s a cheap stunt — like CM Punk in the UFC, for example — but it will surely be an effective one.

Stay tuned, we’ll let you know when we find out more.