Ask the Potato: Injuries, TRT and Crossover Athletes


You know, Potato Nation, Coleman just really likes potatoes. I mean, I know that’s not profound or nothin’. Heck! We all do…but for him, it goes much more beyond that.

So how many of you all came here last weekend only to be disappointed by the lack of answers to your seemingly endless questions? Maybe we’re getting too far ahead of ourselves, so let’s start over: How many of you noticed that we didn’t run a new edition of Ask the Potato last week? We just saw at least three hands go up, so we’re going to assume that the rest of you are just too shy to respond. We’re keeping it short and sweet and to the point this week, much unlike this sentence, so let’s get down to business.

KarmaAteMyCat asks: What’s the most vicious injury you have ever seen in MMA to date?


You know, Potato Nation, Coleman just really likes potatoes. I mean, I know that’s not profound or nothin’. Heck! We all do…but for him, it goes much more beyond that.

So how many of you all came here last weekend only to be disappointed by the lack of answers to your seemingly endless questions? Maybe we’re getting too far ahead of ourselves, so let’s start over: How many of you noticed that we didn’t run a new edition of Ask the Potato last week? We just saw at least three hands go up, so we’re going to assume that the rest of you are just too shy to respond. We’re keeping it short and sweet and to the point this week, much unlike this sentence, so let’s get down to business.

KarmaAteMyCat asks: What’s the most vicious injury you have ever seen in MMA to date?

Injuries are pretty common in this sport, particularly if you’re a champion. From swollen heads to flayed feet, we’d like to think we’ve seen it all over the years. But of all the limbs to snap inside the cage, our nominee has a clear leg up on the competition. Just seconds into the second round of their UFC: Fight for the Troops bout, Dale Hartt checked a leg kick from Corey Hill, instantly transforming his tibia and fibula into giant sticks of Laffy Taffy. Unlike Joe Theismann’s famous injury, there was no sock or pant leg to shield viewers from the sight of his twisted, mangled leg. Another key difference: Hill returned to competition only one year later; in fact, he just racked up a win last week. Think there’s a more deserving injury? We’re all ear!

Giblets asks: TRT – Really a medical issue or a loop hole for gear monkeys?

We’re hack journalists, Giblets, not doctors. But that doesn’t stop us from performing breast exams or doling out pills behind the neighborhood 7-Eleven, and it sure as hell isn’t going to stop us from answering your question.

Testosterone is a hormone responsible for increasing bone and muscle mass as well as stimulating aggressive behavior. Now where is the last place you would expect to find a large number of men suffering from a serious testosterone deficiency? If you said “inside the Octagon”, you’re wrong. The answer is Lilith Fair–low testosterone or not, no man wants to listen to that garbage. But competing in an MMA fight is a close second, so don’t feel bad about your answer. We’re hardly authorities on the matter, so check out what the very knowledgeable Dr. Johnny Benjamin has to say on the issue. And when even Nate Marquardt’s coach thinks the therapy has no place in the sport, you’ve got to know that something’s up.

RwilsonR asks: If any athlete from any other sport, from any generation, could cross over succesfully to MMA, who would it be and why? Is it this man?

Bo Jackson was certainly one hell of an athlete in his prime. As was Herschel Walker who, in case you forgot, has had success in this sport. Really, there are plenty of exceptional athletes who may have been MMA fighters today if the sport had been around when they were first getting into sports (and even at least one college football coach).

But we’re going to take the easy route and pick someone who actually competed in combat sports before MMA was around. Given the trend of dominant wrestlers finding success in MMA, we imagine that any of your great wrestlers from yesteryear would have had successful MMA careers if the sport was around while they were in their prime. Specifically, we’ll go with Sports Illustrated’s pick for the greatest athlete to ever hail from Iowa, Dan Gable.

Dan Gable was an absolute wrecking ball in his prime, having lost only one match in his entire collegiate career (his last match, against Washington’s Larry Owings). Of course, that was just his opening act: He would go on to win a gold medal at the 1972 Olympic Games while not giving up a single point. So yeah, we imagine he would have wrestlefucked his way to a hell of a career in MMA, if it was an option for him.

One final thing worth mentioning: After retiring from competition in 1975, Dan Gable decided he wasn’t done dominating college wrestling, so he became the head coach at the University of Iowa. During his tenure from 1976–1997, Iowa won 15 NCAA team titles, including a record nine straight titles from 1978 to 1986 and 21 straight Big Ten titles. Had MMA been around, we imagine that he’d start a gym that would rival any of the top gyms today.

That’s all for now, folks. Tune in next week as we answer even more of your (hopefully at least kind of) MMA related questions. You know the drill: You can send us questions through our Facebook page. You can tweet them to our Twitter account, as well as hashtag questions with #AskThePotato. You can register for our forums and post your questions there. Or you can just post them in the comments section of this article. And we still check that Google+ page we set up. Not that we want questions from that thing, we just feel like bragging.

Knockout of the Day: Jon Jones Ain’t Got Nothin’ on This Dude

(Video courtesy of YouTube/DiggedyDrake)

Somewhere Steven Seagal is claiming he invented this knockout.


(Video courtesy of YouTube/DiggedyDrake)

Somewhere Steven Seagal is claiming he invented this knockout.

If anyone ever pulls off a breakdance/capoeira move like this in a televised UFC fight, the sport will instantly become a mainstream success thanks to the plethora of inevitable highlight-reel replays on shows like Sportscenter. Until then, we’ll just have to show our non-MMA watching friends highlights of Brian Ebersole, Marius Zaromskis and Marcus Aurelio KOs in the hopes that they’ll quit asking us when Kimbo is fighting next.

 

Fight of the Day: 73-Year-Old Former CFL Players Throw Down at Alumni Luncheon

(Video courtesy of YouTube/blackknight101066)

You would assume that a much-heated football rivalry from nearly 50 years ago would have fizzled by now, but apparently old habits die hard.

During a luncheon Friday for the Canadian Football League alumni in Vancouver, BC, former BC Lions’ quarterback Joe Kapp and former Hamilton Tiger-Cats’ defensive tackle Angelo Mosca proved that there was no love lost between them when the 73 year olds came to blows on the dais.


(Video courtesy of YouTube/blackknight101066)

You would assume that a much-heated football rivalry from nearly 50 years ago would have fizzled by now, but apparently old habits die hard.

During a luncheon Friday for the Canadian Football League alumni in Vancouver, BC, former BC Lions’ quarterback Joe Kapp and former Hamilton Tiger-Cats’ defensive tackle Angelo Mosca proved that there was no love lost between them when the 73 year olds came to blows on the dais.

Kapp offered Mosca an olive branch in the form of a flower, and the ornery former pro-wrestler told the former Minnesota Vikings QB, who went on to coach at Cal State and manage the Lions, to “Shove it up [his] ass.” When Kapp persisted and shoved the stalk in his face before smacking him on the chest with it, Mosca slammed his cane into the side of his head to repay the gesture. Kapp replied with a trio of punches to Mosca’s head, which dropped his opponent, before officials stepped in and called a stop to the bout at :43 of the opening round,  giving Kapp the win by TKO, referee stoppage.

Imagine being a member of either guy’s family in attendance at the luncheon that day and the horror of seeing your father or grandfather brawling with another Depends-wearing geriatric patient. I get embarrassed when my grandpa wears plaid pants. I can’t fathom how humiliating 9or possibly awesome) that would be.

We picture a Dan SevernTank Abbott reunion looking a lot like this in 20 years.

No word yet on whether or not Mosca’s hip made it through the fall.

WTF of the Day: Jeff Monson Apparently Kicked Two Cops’ Asses Just Hours Before His Fight With Fedor


(Gentlemen, gentlemen, I’m just here for the aspic.)

Chalk up another win for anarchists everywhere. According to a Russian website, former UFC heavyweight title contender and renowned political actvist Jeff Monson was in a subway station just hours before his fight with Fedor Emelianenko when he witnessed two Moscow police officers aggressively badgering a poor, drunken homeless man, likely wearing a shawl and holding a baby, and decided to intervene. We’ll let “RT” explain how things went down:

One of the LifeJournal users was shocked when he met Monson in the city’s Metro, which he decided to take in order to make the 40-minute trip to the Moscow outskirts, where he was to hold a master class the day before the fight. He was dressed in hooded top and wearing flip-flops. The temperature on that day was around zero degrees.

On one of the stations he noticed two policemen trying to calm down a drunken man. Their methods seemed too aggressive to the American and he rushed to calm down the policemen. Monson’s escort decided not to wait until the American, known for his penchant for anarchism, beat up the surprised law-enforcers and stopped the scuffle. 

Your move, Jon Jones.


(Gentlemen, gentlemen, I’m just here for the aspic.)

Chalk up another win for anarchists everywhere. According to a Russian website, former UFC heavyweight title contender and renowned political actvist Jeff Monson was in a subway station just hours before his fight with Fedor Emelianenko when he witnessed two Moscow police officers aggressively badgering a poor, drunken homeless man, likely wearing a shawl and holding a baby, and decided to intervene. We’ll let “RT” explain how things went down:

One of the LifeJournal users was shocked when he met Monson in the city’s Metro, which he decided to take in order to make the 40-minute trip to the Moscow outskirts, where he was to hold a master class the day before the fight. He was dressed in hooded top and wearing flip-flops. The temperature on that day was around zero degrees.

On one of the stations he noticed two policemen trying to calm down a drunken man. Their methods seemed too aggressive to the American and he rushed to calm down the policemen. Monson’s escort decided not to wait until the American, known for his penchant for anarchism, beat up the surprised law-enforcers and stopped the scuffle. 

Your move, Jon Jones.

Now, we can only assume that this story was fabricated by the Russians to cover up the real story – Monson caught them spying on his training regimen, as they’ve been known to do, and decided to lay a good old fashioned American ass-whooping on those commie bastards. It’s no wonder he looked so worn out in his unanimous decision loss to Fedor that night, the man had already used up all of his best combinations saving one of the 99 percent. But if you think about it, Monson went 2-1 on the evening, whereas Mother Russia only went 1-2. What we’re trying to say is…AMERICA!! FUCK YEAH!

On a side note, flip flops?! In zero degree weather?! Really Jeff? And here we thought his “Snowman” nickname came from his short, stocky physique.

-Danga 

Knockout of the Day: Kenny Robertson’s Peek-a-Boo Spinning Backfist on Lucio Linhares

(Video courtesy of YouTube/. The end begins at the 4:47 mark.) 

Every now and again, I like to surf the Sherdog mainframes and see if I can make it from one fighter to another simply through their past opponents, like a “Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon” for MMA, if you will. For example, let’s say I wanted to go from Scott Smith to Mark Hunt. Now, where most of us would scoff, “That’s ridiculous, those two fight in entirely different weight classes!”, consider this.

1. Scott Smith has fought as high as heavyweight before. Don’t believe me? Find the video of his fight against James Irvin, and marvel at how much the human body can shrink, or expand for that matter.

2. Scott Smith fought Tim Kennedy in Kennedy’s professional debut (Smith won via cut) –>Kennedy submitted Melvin Manhoef in March at Strikeforce-Feijao vs. Henderson –>Manhoef became the only man in MMA to crack the iron jaw of Mark Hunt back at K1 Dynamite!! Power of Courage in 2008. Voila.

You may be asking yourself, why such a lengthy explanation for a knockout video involving none of the above people I just mentioned? Well, if I hadn’t noticed that UFC veteran Xavier Foupa-Pokam fought yesterday at the same M1 Global event that saw Fedor notch his first win in over a year, I would have never jumped to Mr. Pokam’s fighter profile to see that he lost via triangle to fellow UFC vet Lucio Linhares back in January. It was there I found that, since being booted from the UFC, Linhares had put together a three fight win streak that was snapped in the above video just a few weeks ago. You can thank my boredom later.


(Video courtesy of YouTube/kamppailukanava. The end begins at the 4:47 mark.) 

Every now and again, I like to surf the Sherdog mainframes and see if I can make it from one fighter to another simply through their past opponents, like a “Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon” for MMA, if you will. For example, let’s say I wanted to go from Scott Smith to Mark Hunt. Now, where most of us would scoff, “That’s ridiculous, those two fight in entirely different weight classes!”, consider this.

1. Scott Smith has fought as high as heavyweight before. Don’t believe me? Find the video of his fight against James Irvin, and marvel at how much the human body can shrink, or expand for that matter.

2. Scott Smith fought Tim Kennedy in Kennedy’s professional debut (Smith won via cut) –>Kennedy submitted Melvin Manhoef in March at Strikeforce-Feijao vs. Henderson –>Manhoef became the only man in MMA to crack the iron jaw of Mark Hunt back at K1 Dynamite!! Power of Courage in 2008. Voila.

You may be asking yourself, why such a lengthy explanation for a knockout video involving none of the above people I just mentioned? Well, if I hadn’t noticed that UFC veteran Xavier Foupa-Pokam fought yesterday at the same M1 Global event that saw Fedor notch his first win in over a year, I would have never jumped to Mr. Pokam’s fighter profile to see that he lost via triangle to fellow UFC vet Lucio Linhares back in January. It was there I found that, since being booted from the UFC, Linhares had put together a three fight win streak that was snapped in the above video just a few weeks ago. You can thank my boredom later.

Anyway, let’s get to the fight itself, which saw UFC one-and-doner Kenny Robertson turn a tedious leg kick by Linhares into a takedown in the early going. After getting back to his feet, “Spartan” was able to mount some offense, mainly consisting of wild, looping punches, before attempting a single leg that would send Robertson toppling head-over-heels. Here’s where things would get interesting.

After rolling to his feet, Robertson appeared to be performing a tribute to Kalib Starnes v. Nate Quarry, rushing out of the corner like it was the Water Temple level from The Legend of Zelda. Linhares would give chase, hands down and chin high, and walk right into a perfectly timed spinning backfist that would drop him like a sack of Coxinhas at Boi Bumba.

Tough break for Linhares, who will likely have to put a few more wins together before we see him back in the octagon. As for Robertson, who knows? Bellator could always use another challenge for Ben Askren if he gets past Douglas Lima, which I really, really hope he doesn’t.

-Danga 

Technique Video of the Day: The Russian Toe Hold That Will Kill Us All

I awoke this morning to find a lone, blinking message on my answering machine. The messenger, whom shall be referred to as Minowaman for the time being, informed me of a video that would not only change the MMA and combat sports world’s forever, but possibly reignite the long, bitter tensions between the United States and Russia. And now, I will pass it on to you, Potato Nation, as I can only assume that shit in my town is about to go Red Dawn within the hour.

Amidst a deadly crew of English-speaking, Russian sleeper cells, a lone FBI agent, code name Gull of the Sea (at his request), was able to infiltrate a remote, Russian facility, like so, and record the following video of the illegal toe hold technology that the Russians have been building up for years.

I awoke this morning to find a lone, blinking message on my answering machine. The messenger, whom shall be referred to as Minowaman for the time being, informed me of a video that would not only change the MMA and combat sports world’s forever, but possibly reignite the long, bitter tensions between the United States and Russia. And now, I will pass it on to you, Potato Nation, as I can only assume that shit in my town is about to go Red Dawn within the hour.

Amidst a deadly crew of English-speaking, Russian sleeper cells, a lone FBI agent, code name Gull of the Sea (at his request), was able to infiltrate a remote, Russian facility, like so, and record the following video of the illegal toe hold technology that the Russians have been building up for years.

I know, shocking and disturbing stuff. Word has it that Rousimar Palhares saw this and completely leveled his three building shantytown in under 60 seconds. Even more horrifying is the fact that these sleeper cell Sambo practitioners seem to be at least part machine, because there is no other way to justify how quickly that dude was able to switch from the foot grab to the toe hold in all of modern physics.

Now, I know what your thinking, “Agent Seagal is blatantly hanging that camera out there for everyone to see. Is he insane?” Well the answer breaks down like this:

1. If Brazil has yet to see the dawn of computers, then Russia cannot possibly have discovered video camera technology at this point in time. Or photography for that matter.
2. Yes, yes he fucking is.

The rest can be explained in this brief video:

-Danga