(As is usually the case with potato-filmed Brazilian fight videos, we recommend that you turn down your speakers before pressing play.)
We find it a bit sardonic that, just a day after we passed along Joe Rogan’s picks for the greatest head kick knockouts in UFC History, we received a video of what might be the slowest head kick knockout we have ever seen.
This six-second, first “punch” knockout comes to us courtesy of Thiago Xplode, who we are just going to assume is the alter ego of the Youtube user who uploaded this video last month, Thiago Fernandes. Similarly troubling is the fact that this fight supposedly took place at Parabellum Fight 2 in 2010, although neither “Xplode” nor his opponent/victim, Fabio Diniz, are listed on the event’s Sherdog page.
But none of that really matters. What matters is how this mysterious Thiago character was able to execute a completely telegraphed, half-speed head kick knockout with zero setup. Without sounding too much like a keyboard warrior, I will just say that in the time it took Thiago to deliver that kick, I was able to complete my Master’s thesis, “The Effect of Tachyon Destabilization on the Warp Core.”
(As is usually the case with potato-filmed Brazilian fight videos, we recommend that you turn down your speakers before pressing play.)
We find it a bit sardonic that, just a day after we passed along Joe Rogan’s picks for the greatest head kick knockouts in UFC History, we received a video of what might be the slowest head kick knockout we have ever seen.
This six-second, first “punch” knockout comes to us courtesy of Thiago Xplode, who we are just going to assume is the alter ego of the Youtube user who uploaded this video last month, Thiago Fernandes. Similarly troubling is the fact that this fight supposedly took place at Parabellum Fight 2 in 2010, although neither “Xplode” nor his opponent/victim, Fabio Diniz, are listed on the event’s Sherdog page.
But none of that really matters. What matters is how this mysterious Thiago character was able to execute a completely telegraphed, half-speed head kick knockout with zero setup. Without sounding too much like a keyboard warrior, I will just say that in the time it took Thiago to deliver that kick, I was able to complete my Master’s thesis, “The Effect of Tachyon Destabilization on the Warp Core.”
To the untrained eye, it might appear as if the Team Quest Thailand amateur MMA fighter above (known simply as “Tick”) pulled this one-punch knockout from the deepest, darkest realms of his asshole. But as Sensei Rogan would tell you, fighting is equal parts technique and deception, and being that Tick started his fight against David Van with a picture perfect spinning back kick to de liver, we know he’s got the former in spades. So to claim that the “Rolling Falcon Punch” he finishes Van with at the :37 mark was anything less than Machida-esque in its timing and grace would not only be wrong, it would also be incorrect, inaccurate, fallacious and plain ig’nant.
Lucky punch, you say? Please, luck is for people who didn’t play Super Smash Bros as a child and immediately start applying those techniques to real life. It is a well known fact that Jon Jones learned most of that crazy spinning shit he throws by mimicking Youtube videos — this is simply the next evolutionary step of that mentality. Tune in to Tick’s next fight, where he will attempt to inhale his opponent, drain his powers and crush him by turning into a boulder in mid-air.
Here’s a cool screenshot I grabbed from the video. Captions, please.
To the untrained eye, it might appear as if the Team Quest Thailand amateur MMA fighter above (known simply as “Tick”) pulled this one-punch knockout from the deepest, darkest realms of his asshole. But as Sensei Rogan would tell you, fighting is equal parts technique and deception, and being that Tick started his fight against David Van with a picture perfect spinning back kick to de liver, we know he’s got the former in spades. So to claim that the “Rolling Falcon Punch” he finishes Van with at the :37 mark was anything less than Machida-esque in its timing and grace would not only be wrong, it would also be incorrect, inaccurate, fallacious and plain ig’nant.
Lucky punch, you say? Please, luck is for people who didn’t play Super Smash Bros as a child and immediately start applying those techniques to real life. It is a well known fact that Jon Jones learned most of that crazy spinning shit he throws by mimicking Youtube videos — this is simply the next evolutionary step of that mentality. Tune in to Tick’s next fight, where he will attempt to inhale his opponent, drain his powers and crush him by turning into a boulder in mid-air.
Here’s a cool screenshot I grabbed from the video. Captions, please.
(We know we say this a lot, but if you don’t turn down your speakers, this video will render you completely deaf before it even begins.)
You guys remember Jake Rosholt, the former UFC middleweight who taught his dog to fetch him a beer, right? Well it turns out that Jake has a younger, heavyweight brother named Jared who has quietly strung together 8 wins alongside just 1 defeat as a professional mixed martial artist. He also goes by “The Big Show,” which we’re fairly certain is the most original nickname in the history of ever. We literally cannot think of one other person more deserving of such a title. Not. One.
Annnnyway, Jared picked up his eighth win last Friday at C3 Fights – Summer Slamfest 2 via a 34 second KO of KOTC veteran Jason Walraven. You can check out the video above, then we suggest you check out the C3 Sherdog page, if only to appreciate MMA event titles such as Knockout-Rockout Weekend, Slammin Jammin Weekend and Rock ’em Sock ’em Weekend. That promotion is single-handedly bringing back awesomely-titled MMA events from their current dark ages, although Red River Riot sounds like some kind of Hostel-esque group sex ritual.
A few sites out there are calling for Rosholt to be called up to the UFC with this win, but what do you think? We say yes, with the only stipulation being that he must repeatedly try whatever the fuck he was going for at the 12 second mark the entire fight.
(We know we say this a lot, but if you don’t turn down your speakers, this video will render you completely deaf before it even begins.)
You guys remember Jake Rosholt, the former UFC middleweight who taught his dog to fetch him a beer, right? Well it turns out that Jake has a younger, heavyweight brother named Jared who has quietly strung together 8 wins alongside just 1 defeat as a professional mixed martial artist. He also goes by “The Big Show,” which we’re fairly certain is the most original nickname in the history of ever. We literally cannot think of one other person more deserving of such a title. Not. One.
Annnnyway, Jared picked up his eighth win last Friday at C3 Fights – Summer Slamfest 2 via a 34 second KO of KOTC veteran Jason Walraven. You can check out the video above, then we suggest you check out the C3 Sherdog page, if only to appreciate MMA event titles such as Knockout-Rockout Weekend, Slammin Jammin Weekend and Rock ‘em Sock ‘em Weekend. That promotion is single-handedly bringing back awesomely-titled MMA events from their current dark ages, although Red River Riot sounds like some kind of Hostel-esque group sex ritual.
A few sites out there are calling for Rosholt to be called up to the UFC with this win, but what do you think? We say yes, with the only stipulation being that he must repeatedly try whatever the fuck he was going for at the 12 second mark the entire fight.
It’s pretty much a given at this point that cages are the far superior enclosure for most, if not all, combat sports. While it is true that the cage obscures the average spectator’s view a bit more, it also drastically reduces their chances of seeing two grown ass men crawl to the center of the canvas and reset a position after the ref is forced to call breaksies on account of the ropes (it’s MMA’s version of the “walk of shame,” really.). It also prevents the above from happening…unless you are James Irvin.
Our buddies over at KnockoutFootagedropped this gem on us earlier today. In it, you will find two kickboxers; one dons the yellow trunks, the other appears to be African American. Yellow trunks guy — who bears a striking resemblance to Michael Jeter — snatches up a devastating Thai clinch a la Silva vs. Jackson II and proceeds to knee his opponent’s personality through the back of his skull. Being that his opponent doesn’t posses Roy Nelson’s chin of Goron, he goes down. But instead of being cradled by the tender embrace of the cage, Firetrunks tumbles through the ropes and lands head first on the unforgiving concrete below.
There is only one comment currently posted on the video’s Youtube page. It reads, “And that kids, is why we have the octagon.” Fin.
It’s pretty much a given at this point that cages are the far superior enclosure for most, if not all, combat sports. While it is true that the cage obscures the average spectator’s view a bit more, it also drastically reduces their chances of seeing two grown ass men crawl to the center of the canvas and reset a position after the ref is forced to call breaksies on account of the ropes (it’s MMA’s version of the “walk of shame,” really.). It also prevents the above from happening…unless you are James Irvin.
Our buddies over at KnockoutFootagedropped this gem on us earlier today. In it, you will find two kickboxers; one dons the yellow trunks, the other appears to be African American. Yellow trunks guy — who bears a striking resemblance to Michael Jeter – snatches up a devastating Thai clinch a la Silva vs. Jackson II and proceeds to knee his opponent’s personality through the back of his skull. Being that his opponent doesn’t posses Roy Nelson’s chin of Goron, he goes down. But instead of being cradled by the tender embrace of the cage, Firetrunks tumbles through the ropes and lands head first on the unforgiving concrete below.
There is only one comment currently posted on the video’s Youtube page. It reads, “And that kids, is why we have the octagon.” Fin.
Major props to our buddies at KnockoutFootage (via MiddleEasy) for passing along this video of a local fight that ended in a finish even more rarely seen in the MMA world than the double KO: The accidental slam KO.
Rest assured, the dude who nose-dived when he clearly should have done a barrel roll was up and walking by the time the final announcements were made, thanks in no small part to a timely intervention on the ref’s part. Had Cecil Peoples or Steve Mazzagatti been the third man in the ring for this scrap, well, this footage would have never made it online for legal purposes. The small victories, Nation.
Major props to our buddies at KnockoutFootage (via MiddleEasy) for passing along this video of a local fight that ended in a finish even more rarely seen in the MMA world than the double KO: The accidental slam KO.
Rest assured, the dude who nose-dived when he clearly should have done a barrel roll was up and walking by the time the final announcements were made, thanks in no small part to a timely intervention on the ref’s part. Had Cecil Peoples or Steve Mazzagatti been the third man in the ring for this scrap, well, this footage would have never made it online for legal purposes. The small victories, Nation.
I hate to come off sounding judgemental in today’s politically correct MMA landscape, but be honest: When you first looked at the tatted-up, semi-chiseled gentleman in the white shorts, then looked at his opponent, the bushy-browed IT salesman in the basketball trunks, how did you think this fight would end?
If you are a Joe Lauzon fan like myself, you probably believed that the “Can You Hear Me Now?” guy would run through his overly-compensating tomato can of an opponent in the first round. If you are a realist, though, you probably predicted some variation of the first-strike KO that actually happened. Congratulations, your shirt is in the mail.
What none of you could have predicted, however, was that Cecil Peoples would not only be the third man in the ring for this local scrap but would actually stop the fight before IT guy was beaten into a coma. The small victories, Potato Nation. The small victories.
I hate to come off sounding judgemental in today’s politically correct MMA landscape, but be honest: When you first looked at the tatted-up, semi-chiseled gentleman in the white shorts, then looked at his opponent, the bushy-browed IT salesman in the basketball trunks, how did you think this fight would end?
If you are a Joe Lauzon fan like myself, you probably believed that the “Can You Hear Me Now?” guy would run through his overly-compensating tomato can of an opponent in the first round. If you are a realist, though, you probably predicted some variation of the first-strike KO that actually happened. Congratulations, your shirt is in the mail.
What none of you could have predicted, however, was that Cecil Peoples would not only be the third man in the ring for this local scrap but would actually stop the fight before IT guy was beaten into a coma. The small victories, Potato Nation. The small victories.
