Tag: knockout of the day

Knockout of the Day: A Pre-NewsRadio Joe Rogan Body Shot KO’s Some Fool With a Spinning Back Kick


(And to think, if Joe had done the same thing to Andy Dick, the world might have been spared the AIDS epidemic.) 

Do you remember the first time you came across that video of Joe Rogan teaching Georges St. Pierre the art of the spinning back kick? If so, you probably recall watching Rogan obliterate those heavy bags and quietly pondering to yourself, “My God, how many lives Rogan has claimed with that kick in the past?” And while we can’t attest to the exact number of trophy skulls lining the walls of Rogan’s humble abode, we can now confirm that there is at least one, which has likely been converted into a bubbler in the time since.

A video of Rogan in his Taekwondo heyday has been rounding MMA blogs for the past few days now, so in order to help distract you from the realization that your favorite sport is an absolute joke, we’ve thrown it after the jump. It is approximately 20 seconds long, features one strike, and may or may not cause you to shit your pants out of empathy for the poor bastard whose intestines are utterly annihilated with little more than a swivel of Rogan’s hips.


(And to think, if Joe had done the same thing to Andy Dick, the world might have been spared the AIDS epidemic.) 

Do you remember the first time you came across that video of Joe Rogan teaching Georges St. Pierre the art of the spinning back kick? If so, you probably recall watching Rogan obliterate those heavy bags and quietly pondering to yourself, “My God, how many lives Rogan has claimed with that kick in the past?” And while we can’t attest to the exact number of trophy skulls lining the walls of Rogan’s humble abode, we can now confirm that there is at least one, which has likely been converted into a bubbler in the time since.

A video of Rogan in his Taekwondo heyday has been rounding MMA blogs for the past few days now, so in order to help distract you from the realization that your favorite sport is an absolute joke, we’ve thrown it after the jump. It is approximately 20 seconds long, features one strike, and may or may not cause you to shit your pants out of empathy for the poor bastard whose intestines are utterly annihilated with little more than a swivel of Rogan’s hips.

–J. Jones

Knockout of the Day: How to End a Street Fight Before It Ever Begins

(Props to Fightlinker for the find.)

Before you guys start jumping on your soapboxes in regards to the legitimacy of street fight videos on an MMA website, just check this shit out right here. I’m not one to unnecessarily hype up a video, but I am going to go ahead and declare this THE GREATEST STREET FIGHT KNOCKOUT OF ALL TIME.

Here’s the backstory as I imagined it: Aryan Abe Lincoln was just coming home from a rough day at work. He blew a tire on the way in, forgot to pack a lunch, and got royally chewed out by his boss because Johnson in accounting had botched his quarterly reports (again!). And to make matters worse, his whore of a wife — I say “whore” because it was well known by Aryan Abe’s neighbors that she was a Bulgarian prostitute he had mail-ordered — had gone and jumped into bed with the pool boy, Ronie with one n, who was now standing outside Abe’s house declaring that he would fight for her love.

Unfortunately for Ronie, Aryan Abe had been studying Muay Thai over the past few years, you know, to cope with the fact that his wife was a whore, and quickly put the kibosh on Ronie’s proposal in emphatic fashion. That sound you heard, believe it or not, was not that of a bologna roll being dropped from a roof off screen, but that of poor Ronie’s dreams and aspirations coming to a crashing halt.


(Props to Fightlinker for the find.)

Before you guys start jumping on your soapboxes in regards to the legitimacy of street fight videos on an MMA website, just check this shit out right here. I’m not one to unnecessarily hype up a video, but I am going to go ahead and declare this THE GREATEST STREET FIGHT KNOCKOUT OF ALL TIME.

Here’s the backstory as I imagined it: Aryan Abe Lincoln was just coming home from a rough day at work. He blew a tire on the way in, forgot to pack a lunch, and got royally chewed out by his boss because Johnson in accounting had botched his quarterly reports (again!). And to make matters worse, his whore of a wife — I say “whore” because it was well known by Aryan Abe’s neighbors that she was a Bulgarian prostitute he had mail-ordered — had gone and jumped into bed with the pool boy, Ronie with one n, who was now standing outside Abe’s house declaring that he would fight for her love.

Unfortunately for Ronie, Aryan Abe had been studying Muay Thai over the past few years, you know, to cope with the fact that his wife was a whore, and quickly put the kibosh on Ronie’s proposal in emphatic fashion. That sound you heard, believe it or not, was not that of a bologna roll being dropped from a roof off screen, but that of poor Ronie’s dreams and aspirations coming to a crashing halt.

Seriously though, you have to respect the guy that will drag your lifeless corpse off the street after he’s bounced your head off said street, as to ensure that no careless driver out there accidentally finishes you off. I believe those are Marquess of Queensbury Rules, right?

–J. Jones

Knockout of the Day: Justin Scoggins Hook Kicks His Way to a Flyweight Title

(Props: ZombieProphet/OneStopMMASpot. Skip to 32:50 for the stoppage.)

For some reason, Sherdog has yet to update their fighter databases with the results from the Invasion 12/7/12 card that saw Charles Bennett get choked out by Ronnie Rogers, hence why we were unaware of all the fantastic action that unfolded on said card. Thankfully, our buddies over at MiddleEasy were able to secure a video of the evening’s most impressive stoppage, which took place just one fight before “Krazy Horse” was turned into glue. In a flyweight title fight, undefeated 20-year old phenom Justin “Tank” Scoggins squared off against Jacob Hebesison, and based on the title of this post, you can probably imagine how it ended.

But what you probably couldn’t predict is that the kick would stir up such a reaction in the crowd that random fans would start stripping down for no apparent reason shortly after it landed (33:25). Combine that with the fact that the kick made one commentator’s voice jump up about 5 octaves when attempting to describe it and you’ve got yourself one fantastic knockout right there.

Not since Shannon Ritch vs. John Wood have we seen such an effective use of “Sweet Chin Music” in MMA, but where does it stack up on your KO of the year lists, Potato Nation?

–J. Jones


(Props: ZombieProphet/OneStopMMASpot. Skip to 32:50 for the stoppage.)

For some reason, Sherdog has yet to update their fighter databases with the results from the Invasion 12/7/12 card that saw Charles Bennett get choked out by Ronnie Rogers, hence why we were unaware of all the fantastic action that unfolded on said card. Thankfully, our buddies over at MiddleEasy were able to secure a video of the evening’s most impressive stoppage, which took place just one fight before “Krazy Horse” was turned into glue. In a flyweight title fight, undefeated 20-year old phenom Justin “Tank” Scoggins squared off against Jacob Hebesison, and based on the title of this post, you can probably imagine how it ended.

But what you probably couldn’t predict is that the kick would stir up such a reaction in the crowd that random fans would start stripping down for no apparent reason shortly after it landed (33:25). Combine that with the fact that the kick made one commentator’s voice jump up about 5 octaves when attempting to describe it and you’ve got yourself one fantastic knockout right there.

Not since Shannon Ritch vs. John Wood have we seen such an effective use of “Sweet Chin Music” in MMA, but where does it stack up on your KO of the year lists, Potato Nation?

–J. Jones

Knockout of the Day: Justice is Served to Another Fake Glove-Tapper

(Skip to the 1:30 mark to watch Karma work its magic.) 

There is perhaps no greater a hooley-hoo punk-ass jabroni in the MMA world than the guy who fakes the glove tap and immediately tries to knock his opponent out/take him down. It’s a garbage ass maneuver, perpetrated by only the soggiest of floor turds, but the one good thing that can come from such blatant bitchassery is watching it backfire in said jabroni’s face. Paul Kelly tried it against Donald Cerrone at UFC 126 and was promptly strangled for his efforts. JR Fuller tried it against Jonathan Harris and was promptly dicknailed. But today’s cheap-shotter, Adam Fyfe, almost got away with this bitch move when he pulled it on fellow ammy Alex Thorne at Absolute Adrenaline: Platinum on November 4th. Almost. 


(Skip to the 1:30 mark to watch Karma work its magic.) 

There is perhaps no greater a hooley-hoo punk-ass jabroni in the MMA world than the guy who fakes the glove tap and immediately tries to knock his opponent out/take him down. It’s a garbage ass maneuver, perpetrated by only the soggiest of floor turds, but the one good thing that can come from such blatant bitchassery is watching it backfire in said jabroni’s face. Paul Kelly tried it against Donald Cerrone at UFC 126 and was promptly strangled for his efforts. JR Fuller tried it against Jonathan Harris and was promptly dicknailed. But today’s cheap-shotter, Adam Fyfe, almost got away with this bitch move when he pulled it on fellow ammy Alex Thorne at Absolute Adrenaline: Platinum on November 4th. Almost. 

This son of a motherless goat even had the audacity to raise his fist first once the fight began, but before Thorne could even acknowledge the false attempt at sportsmanship, Fyfe pounced, dropping Thorne with a right hand that nearly sealed the deal right then and there. But what Fyfe failed to realize is that you just can’t keep a good man down, something one of his kin might have told him had he not been the product of the aforementioned goat sodomy.

After clearing the cobwebs as best as he could, Thorne rose back to his feet — not unlike the might Phoenix from that of its ashes — and caught Fyfe with a left hook that all but sent him into stasis. It looks like the goat that shat out Fyfe happened to be narcoleptic as well [BA DUM TSSH!].

It would be Fyfe’s fourth (T)KO loss in 7 fights, which begs one to ask what exactly he is trying to prove in the first place. Unless he is some kind of self-aware genius attempting to go down in MMA history as the martyr who sacrificed his brain to prove that justice still exists in this world, in which case he is undoubtedly succeeding.

–J. Jones

Knockout of the Day: Sheila Bird Sleeps Christina Barry in Just 11 Seconds at AFC 12


(Put her in a body bag! No seriously, could someone please dispose of that corpse as quickly as possible? I’m starting to feel queasy.) 

No, that is not a screenshot from The Ring, that is the aftermath of the last time we saw Sheila Bird compete in this thing we call MMA. It took place back in July of 2011 against Kim Couture, and using the combination of a leg scissor choke and some of the worst referee negligence this side of Marius Zaromskis vs. Andrey Koreshkov, Bird not only came away with the win, but provided one photographer with the opportunity to stare into the fleeting remnants of Couture’s soul before she stole it. It was the first documented case of Shang Tsunging in WMMA history.

What are we going on about? Well, Ms. Bird stepped back into the octagon last weekend, and although the end result was nearly as horrific for her victim this time out, it was equally as decisive. Bird needed just 11 seconds to pack Christina Barry’s lunch and jam it down her throat brown bag and all at AFC 12 on Friday, so head after the jump to check out the brutal finish.


(Put her in a body bag! No seriously, could someone please dispose of that corpse as quickly as possible? I’m starting to feel queasy.) 

No, that is not a screenshot from The Ring, that is the aftermath of the last time we saw Sheila Bird compete in this thing we call MMA. It took place back in July of 2011 against Kim Couture, and using the combination of a leg scissor choke and some of the worst referee negligence this side of Marius Zaromskis vs. Andrey Koreshkov, Bird not only came away with the win, but provided one photographer with the opportunity to stare into the fleeting remnants of Couture’s soul before she stole it. It was the first documented case of Shang Tsunging in WMMA history.

What are we going on about? Well, Ms. Bird stepped back into the octagon last weekend, and although the end result was nearly as horrific for her victim this time out, it was equally as decisive. Bird needed just 11 seconds to pack Christina Barry’s lunch and jam it down her throat brown bag and all at AFC 12 on Friday, so head after the jump to check out the brutal finish.

First off, Barry should’ve known she was in trouble the moment “Surfin’ Bird” came over the speakers. You see that, Andrei? THAT is how you incorporate your name/nickname into a song correctly; you stick with the classics. Now get back in the studio and find something that wouldn’t make Patrice Wilson blush.

Anyway, skip to the 6:10 mark for the beginning of the fight, then see how much work you can get done on that damned Penske file before it ends. My guess is none. With the win, Bird improved to 3-0 as a pro with all three wins coming by first round stoppage.

*cough* InvictaFC, anyone? *cough* 

–J. Jones

Hilarious Knockout of the Day: Dude Dares His Opponent to Knock Him Out, Is Kindly Obliged

(Props to Rodeo and bOredjOrd for the tip.)

Confidence is like nature’s bath salts. Using a combination of trickery, implied reasoning, and outright tomfoolery, confidence basically transports us back to the ignorant serenity of youth. It surpasses logic, the physical limitations of the human body, and the laws of nature to convince its host that anything is achievable through the pure power of will. And just like bath salts, confidence can have devastating effects on the body it occupies. Just ask Melvin Guillard. Or Tom Brady. Or Hitler. I’m not saying that Tom Brady is Hitler reincarnated, I’m just saying.

So rather than take pot shots at the wellspring of confidence you will meet in the video above, I would rather like to commend him for it, as misplaced as it may have been. Because I can assure you that none of us — not one  — has ever been as confident in our ourselves as this man, if even for the briefest second. Nick Diaz may have perfected the “Come at me, bro” pose in the octagon, but the motherfucker was never crazy enough to let one of his opponents tee off on him until he crumbled to the ground in a heap. This gentleman was so confident in his abilities that he knew he could get knocked the fuck out and still beat his opponent. Sure, the second half of his gameplan kind of fell apart, but still, respect. You’re move, Anderson.


(Props to Rodeo and bOredjOrd for the tip.)

Confidence is like nature’s bath salts. Using a combination of trickery, implied reasoning, and outright tomfoolery, confidence basically transports us back to the ignorant serenity of youth. It surpasses logic, the physical limitations of the human body, and the laws of nature to convince its host that anything is achievable through the pure power of will. And just like bath salts, confidence can have devastating effects on the body it occupies. Just ask Melvin Guillard. Or Tom Brady. Or Hitler. I’m not saying that Tom Brady is Hitler reincarnated, I’m just saying.

So rather than take pot shots at the wellspring of confidence you will meet in the video above, I would rather like to commend him for it, as misplaced as it may have been. Because I can assure you that none of us — not one  — has ever been as confident in our ourselves as this man, if even for the briefest second. Nick Diaz may have perfected the “Come at me, bro” pose in the octagon, but the motherfucker was never crazy enough to let one of his opponents tee off on him until he crumbled to the ground in a heap. This gentleman was so confident in his abilities that he knew he could get knocked the fuck out and still beat his opponent. Sure, the second half of his gameplan kind of fell apart, but still, respect. You’re move, Anderson.

But perhaps even more impressive than our fallen comrade’s confidence is the entrance of the shirtless superhero at the 45 second mark, who descends from the rafters just moments shy of stopping the hilarious atrocity that has been committed. It was a noble effort, but Spiderman would’ve made it on time, bro.

–J. Jones