Knockout of the Day: A WMMA, First-Punch, Falling Tree Trifecta of Awesome

(Props to MMAFighting for the find. The fight starts/ends at the 45 second mark.)

Yesterday’s knockout of the day featured a poor sap who was simply unprepared to deal with his opponent’s Rockette-esque strategy of starting the show with a high kick. And while today’s victim was lucky enough to make it through her opponent’s first kick intact, she completely forgot to follow the most basic rule of fighting: Always keep your hands up. This mental error would prove most detrimental to her 1-0 record as a professional fighter.

Someone grab a spatula.

J. Jones


(Props to MMAFighting for the find. The fight starts/ends at the 45 second mark.)

Yesterday’s knockout of the day featured a poor sap who was simply unprepared to deal with his opponent’s Rockette-esque strategy of starting the show with a high kick. And while today’s victim was lucky enough to make it through her opponent’s first kick intact, she completely forgot to follow the most basic rule of fighting: Always keep your hands up. This mental error would prove most detrimental to her 1-0 record as a professional fighter.

Someone grab a spatula.

J. Jones

Knockout of the Day: Touch Gloves, Throw Head Kick, Moving On

We’ve paid tribute to first-punch knockouts before, but the first-kick knockout is a beast we see far less of in the MMA world, or any combat sport for that matter. Maybe it’s because many fighters don’t feel comfortable exposing themselves by attempting a fight-ending kick when they’ve yet to feel out their opponent, or perhaps it’s because many kicks used early in a fight are for just that: feeling your opponent out. In either case, the crazy bastard in the black trunks who shall remain nameless really couldn’t give two shits about your so-called “tactics” or fancy schmancy “strategery.” Thems things is best left for the book-reading doctor types with their scientist talk and their elevated pinkies and bubbly alcohol drinks, amiright Taters?

So skip ahead to the 1:30 mark to see this feller disregard all of his pappy’s teachings and open the fight with a head kick that scrambles his opponents brains up worse than a June bug in prairie dog hole.

Now start researching other instances of a first-kick knockout and relay them to us in the comments section so we can compile a proper tribute list. Because let’s face it, you guys know way more about this MMA stuff than we do anyway, and we’ll be at the firing range determining which one of your shirt ideas holds up best to our rigorous series of tests for the next few days anyway.

J. Jones

We’ve paid tribute to first-punch knockouts before, but the first-kick knockout is a beast we see far less of in the MMA world, or any combat sport for that matter. Maybe it’s because many fighters don’t feel comfortable exposing themselves by attempting a fight-ending kick when they’ve yet to feel out their opponent, or perhaps it’s because many kicks used early in a fight are for just that: feeling your opponent out. In either case, the crazy bastard in the black trunks who shall remain nameless really couldn’t give two shits about your so-called “tactics” or fancy schmancy “strategery.” Thems things is best left for the book-reading doctor types with their scientist talk and their elevated pinkies and bubbly alcohol drinks, amiright Taters?

So skip ahead to the 1:30 mark to see this feller disregard all of his pappy’s teachings and open the fight with a head kick that scrambles his opponents brains up worse than a June bug in prairie dog hole.

Now start researching other instances of a first-kick knockout and relay them to us in the comments section so we can compile a proper tribute list. Because let’s face it, you guys know way more about this MMA stuff than we do anyway, and we’ll be at the firing range determining which one of your shirt ideas holds up best to our rigorous series of tests for the next few days anyway.

J. Jones

Knockout of the Day: Mike Richman Levels Jeremy Spoon in 23 Seconds at Bellator 76


(Seen here: The one strike that didn’t land.) 

While we were all busy watching Eddie Alvarez head kick his way into the UFC at last weekend’s Bellator 76 event, it turns out that another just as devastating first round head kick knockout had taken place less than an hour beforehand, and in about 4 minutes less fight time. The matchup, which paired fellow featherweight prospects Mike Richman and Jeremy Spoon against one another, barely got under way before Big John had to step in and save Spoon’s ass from certain death. No, it was not because he suffered a gruesome in-ring injury, but rather because Richman decided to play Major Payne to Spoon’s Bam Bam Bigelow roughly twenty seconds into the fight.

Video after the jump. Catch it before it’s gone. 


(Seen here: The one strike that didn’t land.) 

While we were all busy watching Eddie Alvarez head kick his way into the UFC at last weekend’s Bellator 76 event, it turns out that another just as devastating first round head kick knockout had taken place less than an hour beforehand, and in about 4 minutes less fight time. The matchup, which paired fellow featherweight prospects Mike Richman and Jeremy Spoon against one another, barely got under way before Big John had to step in and save Spoon’s ass from certain death. No, it was not because he suffered a gruesome in-ring injury, but rather because Richman decided to play Major Payne to Spoon’s Bam Bam Bigelow roughly twenty seconds into the fight.

Video after the jump. Catch it before it’s gone. 

Unless you’re a big fan of fighter walkouts, skip to the 5:30 mark for the action. Then prepare for your sphincter to involuntarily contract as Richman stares a hole into your soul at the 6:08 mark. Seriously, that might be the creepiest/rapiest post fight celebration face this side of Gabriel Gonzaga that I’ve ever witnessed. Shang Tsung would approve.

With the victory, Richman earned himself a spot in Bellator’s featherweight semifinals against Shahbulat Shamhalaev, who defeated American Cody Bollinger by first round TKO just one fight earlier. The winner of the season will get an inevitable shot at champion Pat Curran, who is no stranger to the art of the head kick KO himself, if he is able to get past Patricio Freire whenever the hell those two are set to meet.

J. Jones

Knockout of the Day: 62 Year-old Man KO’s Opponent With the Sloppiest Spinning Backfist You Will Ever See


(Is it just us or did Mortal Kombat seem a lot more badass when we were growing up?) 

Suffice it to say, when a 62 year-old man sporting a ponytail, a Tapout shirt, and a pair of GSP-esque tights waltzes into an MMA ring, people tend to take notice. When that man appears to have developed a fighting strategy reminiscent of a falling helicopter leaf and is challenging a much younger man who is easily a weight class above him, well…

Video after the jump. 


(Is it just us or did Mortal Kombat seem a lot more badass when we were growing up?) 

Suffice it to say, when a 62 year-old man sporting a ponytail, a Tapout shirt, and a pair of GSP-esque tights waltzes into an MMA ring, people tend to take notice. When that man appears to have developed a fighting strategy reminiscent of a falling helicopter leaf and is challenging a much younger man who is easily a weight class above him, well…

Pitting senior citizen Wayne Smallwood against a guy named Weeg Hewson, it’s safe to say that there is no way in hell this Alaskan slobberknocker was sanctioned. That is ultimately a moot point, because our boy Blue showed up to throw down, and if he has to die trying to prove that he can still hang with those young punks who keep skateboarding on the sidewalks, then we will witness his demise firsthand.

Fortunately for Smallwood, his opponent apparently placed an order for one good old fashioned ass whipping with extra old, so let’s get to the action.

The fight gets off to a frenzied start, with Hewson throwing a couple haymakers and Smallwood responding by shooting for a single leg takedown. Hewson easily thwarts the attempt, and soon enough both men are back on their feet. While most of us are thinking that Gramps will be on his way to the Shady Acres Nursing Home at any moment, it turns out that the old coot still has some fight left in him. Smallwood feints a jab and proceeds to floor his already gassed opponent with the same spinning backfist/back elbow hybrid strike he used on those damn Krauts in dubya dubya two. The audience cheers, the referee tries to hold back laughter, and Smallwood’s legion of fans toss their colostomy bags and canes into the ring in celebration.

Old man strength: It’s for real.

J. Jones

Knockout of the Day: The Somersault Axe Kick Has Finally Been Mastered

(When Bruno Carvalho told Marius Zaromskis about his secret foot fetish as a child, he never expected that it would be used against him some twenty years later.)

When you’ve followed MMA for as long as we have, you can’t help but often feel as if you’ve seen it all in terms of striking techniques in the ring. Sure, every now again some dude will nearly cartwheel kick some other dude’s face off, or springboard off the cage and almost kick some dude’s face off, but for the most part, it’s your standard display of roundhouse kicks, knees, and punches that do most of the damage come fight night (not that we’re complaining).

Until you come upon the somersault kick, that is, as demonstrated by Marius Zaromskis in the above video. You see, the somersault kick is a move so dangerous, so batshit insane, that you’d have to be high on bath salts to even consider attempting to pull it off. Hence why it was first popularized by Harold Howard and has been responsible for over 453 deaths worldwide since 1998.

So you’ll forgive us for acting a bit hysterical while delivering this news, but it appears as if someone out there was not only crazy enough to attempt this maneuver in competition on two separate occasions over the course of a month, but successfully landed the kick both times, knocking out both of his opponents in the process.

Those knockouts are after the jump.


(When Bruno Carvalho told Marius Zaromskis about his secret foot fetish as a child, he never expected that it would be used against him some twenty years later.)

When you’ve followed MMA for as long as we have, you can’t help but often feel as if you’ve seen it all in terms of striking techniques in the ring. Sure, every now again some dude will nearly cartwheel kick some other dude’s face off, or springboard off the cage and almost kick some dude’s face off, but for the most part, it’s your standard display of roundhouse kicks, knees, and punches that do most of the damage come fight night (not that we’re complaining).

Until you come upon the somersault kick, that is, as demonstrated by Marius Zaromskis in the above video. You see, the somersault kick is a move so dangerous, so batshit insane, that you’d have to be high on bath salts to even consider attempting to pull it off. Hence why it was first popularized by Harold Howard and has been responsible for over 453 deaths worldwide since 1998.

So you’ll forgive us for acting a bit hysterical while delivering this news, but it appears as if someone out there was not only crazy enough to attempt this maneuver in competition on two separate occasions over the course of a month, but successfully landed the kick both times, knocking out both of his opponents in the process.

See for yourself.

His name is Michael Balakirev. He’s Russian, obviously, because who else in their right mind would challenge death to a chess match twice?

This kick is the more gentle of the two — meaning it didn’t completely obliterate the victim’s face like Gallagher does a watermelon — and occurred at a Russian kickboxing/MMA event at the end of September. As you can see, although it is not a clean knockout, it still makes the victim go fetal before Balakirev can even land a follow up shot. It’s truly awe-inspiring, especially when you consider that just one month earlier, this 18 year old assassin pulled off an even better one…

Sir, you just got butt slammed*cues manic monkey* 

Although you were likely caught up in the pure genius of the move (and trying to calm your half chub), rewind the video to the six second mark and pause it. Here you will see that not only did this kid attempt what we will now call “The Invincible Somersault Kick of Total Annihilation”, he was actually competent enough to grab his opponents ankle mid flip to ensure that he couldn’t back out of harm’s way. Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. What was less than brilliant, however, was the ref’s insistence that the unconscious fighter walk it off before he actually could stand without assistance. Then again, the ref could have woke him up and told him to get ready for round 2.

J. Jones

Knockout of the Day: Michael Page is Back and He Brought Another Walk-Off KO


(We know, guys, we know…)

It doesn’t really matter how we lead into this knockout video, which features Anderson Silva Jr. a.k.a Michael Page at his highlighty best during a mixed rules bout at last weekend’s UCMMA 29 card. These words are ultimately meaningless; they might as well be gobbledygook. Because this knockout, though outstanding in its own right, barely stands a chance of distracting you from the bombshell that was dropped this afternoon. To sum things up using the words of the people who occupy my Twitter feed: No UFC 151. No Christmas. God is dead. Jon Jones is an scaredy-cat, punk-bitch, fake champ. Greg Jackson is a yoda-looking, wet blanket, douchenozzle. Etc, etc…

Check it out. Or don’t. Apathy has overwhelmed me. Walla, walla, walla peas and carrots.

Video after the jump. 


(We know, guys, we know…)

It doesn’t really matter how we lead into this knockout video, which features Anderson Silva Jr. a.k.a Michael Page at his highlighty best during a mixed rules bout at last weekend’s UCMMA 29 card. These words are ultimately meaningless; they might as well be gobbledygook. Because this knockout, though outstanding in its own right, barely stands a chance of distracting you from the bombshell that was dropped this afternoon. To sum things up using the words of the people who occupy my Twitter feed: No UFC 151. No Christmas. God is dead. Jon Jones is an scaredy-cat, punk-bitch, fake champ. Greg Jackson is a yoda-looking, wet blanket, douchenozzle. Etc, etc…

Check it out. Or don’t. Apathy has overwhelmed me. Walla, walla, walla peas and carrots.

Fight starts at the 6:50 mark, and the knockout comes at the 13 minute mark. It doesn’t matter, not even Flavor Flav could hype up the rest of the MMA-related news that today will bring.

This video is like putting a band-aid on cancer.

J. Jones