Don’t Worry, Mark Hunt Wasn’t *Fired*, He Was Just…Hungry


(Once again, our reaction to this news can be summed up thusly.)

When I was 8 years old, I got lost in the woods for two days while playing hide and go seek with my cousins. I did not eat for some 34 hours, and only survived thanks to a blackberry bush I stumbled upon on night 2, the water from a nearby creek (which in turn gave me beaver fever), and the coyote-poking stick I fashioned out of a regular stick. When the cops found me, I was apparently asking a willow tree for directions to Pallet Town while urinating on myself, my sustenance-deprived mind on the brink of total collapse.

The point is, starvation can have a wide variety of effects on the brain to differing degrees of amusement. Take Mark Hunt, for instance, who dropped a bomb on the MMA world last week when he tweeted that he had been fired by the UFC for no apparent reason (other than a potential “bailed hug rest” as I speculated). The thing was, Hunt hadn’t been fired, as Dana White quickly confirmed via a series of curse words and insults to other people’s intelligence.

So why the ruse then? Was Hunt trolling us? In the depths of an ether binge, maybe? Nope, it turns out that The Super Samoan was just…hungry.

“Looking forward to japan sept 20 troops sorry about unemployment tweet I was hungry no carbs,” Hunt tweeted in attempt to clear up the confusion.


(Once again, our reaction to this news can be summed up thusly.)

When I was 8 years old, I got lost in the woods for two days while playing hide and go seek with my cousins. I did not eat for some 34 hours, and only survived thanks to a blackberry bush I stumbled upon on night 2, the water from a nearby creek (which in turn gave me beaver fever), and the coyote-poking stick I fashioned out of a regular stick. When the cops found me, I was apparently asking a willow tree for directions to Pallet Town while urinating on myself, my sustenance-deprived mind on the brink of total collapse.

The point is, starvation can have a wide variety of effects on the brain to differing degrees of amusement. Take Mark Hunt, for instance, who dropped a bomb on the MMA world last week when he tweeted that he had been fired by the UFC for no apparent reason (other than a potential “bailed hug rest” as I speculated). The thing was, Hunt hadn’t been fired, as Dana White quickly confirmed via a series of curse words and insults to other people’s intelligence.

So why the ruse then? Was Hunt trolling us? In the depths of an ether binge, maybe? Nope, it turns out that The Super Samoan was just…hungry.

“Looking forward to japan sept 20 troops sorry about unemployment tweet I was hungry no carbs,” Hunt tweeted in attempt to clear up the confusion.

So there you have it, Nation. I guess. Blame Canada The Zone Diet.

That this tweet was followed by three straight tweets reading “[18+ VIDE0] You Will Never Use Garnier Products After Watching This Shocking Video” leads me to believe that Hunt either had his Twitter hacked or is elaborately trolling his followers in some sort of Kaufman-esque experiment. Or he’s been lost in the Australian wilderness for the past few days and is completely losing his sh*t. Yeah, it’s probably that. In that case, REMEMBER TO BOIL THE CREEK WATER BEFORE YOU DRINK IT, MARK.

Meanwhile, Hunt’s opponent on September 20th, Roy Nelson, just ate his third Mushroom & Swiss Burger of the day without a care in the world.

J. Jones

Why Is Mark Hunt Under the Impression That He’s Been Released by the UFC?


(Yeah, that was pretty much our reaction to this news.)

We’re not sure if this is a simple miscommunication or some Jon Jones-level troll job, but for some reason, heavyweight contender and PRIDE legend Mark Hunt recently took to Twitter to lament his apparent release from the UFC, stating:

Well I’m unemployed that sucks. Not my choice guys but going from being exited [sic] at the prospects of the future of fighting to being unemployed in a day lol this sucks. 

This of course led to some public outcry, because nobody sweeps “The Super Samoan” under the rug like he’s just some…regular Samoan. Nobody. Enraged fans proceeded to put Daddy Dana on blast via the Twitter, which led to this concise yet somehow ridiculously hyperbolic response from the UFC prez…


(Yeah, that was pretty much our reaction to this news.)

We’re not sure if this is a simple miscommunication or some Jon Jones-level troll job, but for some reason, heavyweight contender and PRIDE legend Mark Hunt recently took to Twitter to lament his apparent release from the UFC, stating:

Well I’m unemployed that sucks. Not my choice guys but going from being exited [sic] at the prospects of the future of fighting to being unemployed in a day lol this sucks. 

This of course led to some public outcry, because nobody sweeps “The Super Samoan” under the rug like he’s just some…regular Samoan. Nobody. Enraged fans proceeded to put Daddy Dana on blast via the Twitter, which led to this concise yet somehow ridiculously hyperbolic response from the UFC prez…

YOU HEAR THAT, AXEL? THE DUMBEST THING DANA WHITE HAS *EVER* HEARD. And this is a man who has had at least two — count ‘em, two – conversations with Tiki Ghosn. A man who for some fifteen years, employed the likes of Tito Ortiz. Who allowed Tim Sylvia, a legally retarded, morbidly obese troglodyte hailing from a state that has since been set adrift, to serve as the heavyweight champion of his promotion. And your inquiry about Hunt’s employment tops *all* of that.

Just get the fuck out of here, Axel. I can’t even look at you.

Hunt has not fought since drawing with Antonio Silva in a “Fight of the Decade” contender at Fight Night 33, and is scheduled to face the hard-hitting Roy Nelson at Fight Night 52 (a.k.a “The Japan Card“). I can only think of a couple reasons why Hunt could be suddenly dropped by the UFC, and one of them rhyme with “bailed hug rest.” But if the early, middle, and late career of Vitor Belfort has taught us anything, it’s that bailed hug rests are mere road bumps on the path to title contendership.

(Hate! Hate! Hate Hate Hate!!)

We’ll force our interns to keep an eye on Hunt’s Twitter until something pops up, but in the meantime, anyone care to speculate the cause of Hunt’s confusion? Like, do you think some “Bigfoot” fan who does a spot-on Dana White called up Hunt and tricked him? Or is this Hunt’s way of pulling some Nick Diaz-Nate Diaz powerplay? Do you really think that Axel’s question was the dumbest thing Dana White has *ever* heard? And can you imagine what a UFC contract negotiation with Tito Ortiz was like, especially toward the end?

“Good extranoon, Dana, uh, I’d just like to say that ‘The People’s Champ’ fights like no other, and, uh, that should be reflexive in my deal. Like no other.”

“Tito, you’re old, you haven’t won a fight in years, and you’re clearly drunk again.”

“Bryan Bader. I beat Bryan Bader.”

“God damn it, Tito.”

J. Jones

Classic Fight Videos: Donald Cerrone’s Comeback KO of Melvin Guillard, Hunt and Bigfoot’s ‘Draw of the Century’ + More

(Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

With some of the promotion’s most crowd-pleasing stars returning to action in the near future, the UFC has released a bunch of classic fights to hype up their appearances.

First up: Donald Cerrone‘s comeback knockout of Melvin Guillard at UFC 150 in August 2012, in which Cowboy gets battered around the cage for a minute before stunning Guillard with a head-kick and finishing the job with a right cross. The 76-second performance earned Cerrone an extra $120,000 in Fight of the Night/Knockout of the Night bonuses. He returns to the cage this Wednesday against Jim Miller at UFC Fight Night 45 in Atlantic City. Set your DVRs, folks.

Next we have the insane five-round battle between Mark Hunt and Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva from their December meeting in Brisbane, Australia — arguably the greatest heavyweight UFC fight of all time, despite the unfortunate testosterone suspension that came afterwards. If you’ve got a half-hour free this morning, give it a look. Bigfoot returns from his suspension on September 13th against Andrei Arlovski at UFC Fight Night 51 in Brazil, and Mark Hunt faces Roy Nelson a week later at UFC Fight Night 52 in Japan.

A couple more gems await you after the jump…


(Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

With some of the promotion’s most crowd-pleasing stars returning to action in the near future, the UFC has released a bunch of classic fights to hype up their appearances.

First up: Donald Cerrone‘s comeback knockout of Melvin Guillard at UFC 150 in August 2012, in which Cowboy gets battered around the cage for a minute before stunning Guillard with a head-kick and finishing the job with a right cross. The 76-second performance earned Cerrone an extra $120,000 in Fight of the Night/Knockout of the Night bonuses. He returns to the cage this Wednesday against Jim Miller at UFC Fight Night 45 in Atlantic City. Set your DVRs, folks.

Next we have the insane five-round battle between Mark Hunt and Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva from their December meeting in Brisbane, Australia — arguably the greatest heavyweight UFC fight of all time, despite the unfortunate testosterone suspension that came afterwards. If you’ve got a half-hour free this morning, give it a look. Bigfoot returns from his suspension on September 13th against Andrei Arlovski at UFC Fight Night 51 in Brazil, and Mark Hunt faces Roy Nelson a week later at UFC Fight Night 52 in Japan.

A couple more gems await you after the jump…

In honor of Conor McGregor‘s long-awaited return to the Octagon this Saturday in Dublin against Diego Brandao, here’s his UFC debut last April, in which he smoked Marcus Brimage in just over a minute.

And finally, Michelle “The Karate Hottie” Waterson‘s Fight of the Night war against Lacey Schuckman at Invicta FC 3 in October 2012, which the UFC has posted to hype up its new partnership with the all-female MMA league. Now Invicta FC’s atomweight champion, Waterson returns at Invicta FC 8 on September 6th, where she’ll take on Yasuko Tamada.

There. That’ll keep you busy for a while.

Watch This Amazing Japanese Promo For ‘UFC Fight Night: Hunt vs. Nelson’, And Shed a Tear for the Way Things Used to Be

The Japanese MMA scene lies cold in the ground, leaving us only with fond memories of PRIDE’s pageantry and DREAM’s cartoonish promo videos. And yet, there is hope.

On September 20th, UFC Fight Night 52: Hunt vs. Nelson pops off at the Saitama Super Arena, and it’s (tentatively) loaded with so many MMA legends, wild personalities, and physical behemoths that it almost feels like the lineup to a PRIDE New Year’s Eve card. And so, a YouTube hero named PrideDream2013 has made a 27-minute extended trailer previewing some the bouts and fighters that have been confirmed for the event, and a few that haven’t yet.

Part 2 of the promo is after the jump, which focuses on Rin Nakai and Takanori Gomi. Check it out, and ask yourself: Wouldn’t it be nice if all UFC events were promoted like this?

The Japanese MMA scene lies cold in the ground, leaving us only with fond memories of PRIDE’s pageantry and DREAM’s cartoonish promo videos. And yet, there is hope.

On September 20th, UFC Fight Night 52: Hunt vs. Nelson pops off at the Saitama Super Arena, and it’s (tentatively) loaded with so many MMA legends, wild personalities, and physical behemoths that it almost feels like the lineup to a PRIDE New Year’s Eve card. And so, a YouTube hero named PrideDream2013 has made a 27-minute extended trailer previewing some the bouts and fighters that have been confirmed for the event, and a few that haven’t yet.

Part 2 of the promo is after the jump, which focuses on Rin Nakai and Takanori Gomi. Check it out, and ask yourself: Wouldn’t it be nice if all UFC events were promoted like this?

Mark Hunt vs. Roy Nelson to Headline September UFC Fight Night Card in Japan (Yes!); Event to Air on Fight Pass (Crap!)


(“Ohhh, look at that. It’s like an ad for a f*ckin’ weight-loss center. Before, and *way* before.” / Photos via MMAJunkie)

After a month of rumors, it’s finally official: Heavyweight sluggers Mark Hunt and Roy Nelson will be trading bombs in the main event of UFC Fight Night 51, which is slated to take place September 20th at the Saitama Super Arena in Saitama, Japan.

Hunt hasn’t competed since his Fight of the Year-candidate draw against Antonio Silva last December, which followed a TKO loss against Junior Dos Santos at UFC 160. Nelson is coming off his brain-rattling knockout win over Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira in April, which snapped a two-fight losing streak. Feel free to call this one “The Battle of the Bulge,” as long as you acknowledge that Hunt already made that joke.

The only drawback to this guaranteed slobberknocker is that the event is expected to air on Fight Pass, which means that most of us North American types won’t see it live, and will have to settle for the GIFs that hit the Internet later. Ah well. The Great and Powerful UFC has a plan, and we must always trust in it.

Your predictions, please.


(“Ohhh, look at that. It’s like an ad for a f*ckin’ weight-loss center. Before, and *way* before.” / Photos via MMAJunkie)

After a month of rumors, it’s finally official: Heavyweight sluggers Mark Hunt and Roy Nelson will be trading bombs in the main event of UFC Fight Night 51, which is slated to take place September 20th at the Saitama Super Arena in Saitama, Japan.

Hunt hasn’t competed since his Fight of the Year-candidate draw against Antonio Silva last December, which followed a TKO loss against Junior Dos Santos at UFC 160. Nelson is coming off his brain-rattling knockout win over Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira in April, which snapped a two-fight losing streak. Feel free to call this one “The Battle of the Bulge,” as long as you acknowledge that Hunt already made that joke.

The only drawback to this guaranteed slobberknocker is that the event is expected to air on Fight Pass, which means that most of us North American types won’t see it live, and will have to settle for the GIFs that hit the Internet later. Ah well. The Great and Powerful UFC has a plan, and we must always trust in it.

Your predictions, please.

Friday Link Dump: UFC Targeting Hunt vs. Nelson, Ronda Rousey Talks Bethe Correia, Superior Death Penalty Alternatives + More

(Mike Tyson vs. Buster Douglas in its entirety, because this is my link dump and I’ll do as I please. -Danga)

Ronda Rousey: Bethe Correia “Could be a Very Interesting Fight for Me” (MMAJunkie)

Mirko Cro Cop Saves Dog Shot by Hitman (TheUG)

UFC targeting Mark Hunt vs. Roy Nelson in Saitama, Japan (BloodyElbow)

Ovince St. Preux vs. Ryan Jimmo Slated For UFC 174 (MMAFighting)

Mayweather vs. Maidana: Floyd ‘Money’ Mayweather Jr. guaranteed $31.5 million purse for ‘The Moment’ (MMAMania)

The Beaten Path: Aaron Pico Is the Future King of Fighting (Bleacher Report)

5 Delicious Cinco de Mayo Recipes So Easy, Even YOU Can Do Them…(PopHangover)

The Most Entertaining and Successful Coaches in College Sports (EveryJoe)

SHAMELESS PLUG: Five Death Penalty Alternatives That Are Vastly Superior to Lethal Injection (HolyTaco)

The 29 Best Autocorrects Of April 2014! (DamnYouAutocorrect)

The Definitive Ranking Of Spider-Man Movies, From Best To Worst (FilmDrunk)

The 50 Most Bizarre Prom Photos Ever (WorldWideInterweb)


(Mike Tyson vs. Buster Douglas in its entirety, because this is my link dump and I’ll do as I please. -Danga)

Ronda Rousey: Bethe Correia “Could be a Very Interesting Fight for Me” (MMAJunkie)

Mirko Cro Cop Saves Dog Shot by Hitman (TheUG)

UFC targeting Mark Hunt vs. Roy Nelson in Saitama, Japan (BloodyElbow)

Ovince St. Preux vs. Ryan Jimmo Slated For UFC 174 (MMAFighting)

Mayweather vs. Maidana: Floyd ‘Money’ Mayweather Jr. guaranteed $31.5 million purse for ‘The Moment’ (MMAMania)

The Beaten Path: Aaron Pico Is the Future King of Fighting (Bleacher Report)

5 Delicious Cinco de Mayo Recipes So Easy, Even YOU Can Do Them…(PopHangover)

The Most Entertaining and Successful Coaches in College Sports (EveryJoe)

SHAMELESS PLUG: Five Death Penalty Alternatives That Are Vastly Superior to Lethal Injection (HolyTaco)

The 29 Best Autocorrects Of April 2014! (DamnYouAutocorrect)

The Definitive Ranking Of Spider-Man Movies, From Best To Worst (FilmDrunk)

The 50 Most Bizarre Prom Photos Ever (WorldWideInterweb)