The UFC’s recently-implemented, USADA-partnered drug-testing program has been quietly gaining steam at a predictable-but-still-scary rate since it was officially implemented last October, most recently catching Frank Mir in what may very well be a career-ending mistake earlier in the month and busting Viscardi Andrade just earlier in the week for a similar violation.
While the anti-doping agency’s settlement with Yoel Romero shows that the system is not exactly fool-proof yet, it’s still doing a respectable job of cleaning up the sport’s dirtiest fighters and hitting them where it hurts the most.
One of the last fighters that you would ever expect to be lumped into that category, however, is former light heavyweight champion Lyoto Machida.
The UFC’s recently-implemented, USADA-partnered drug-testing program has been quietly gaining steam at a predictable-but-still-scary rate since it was officially implemented last October, most recently catching Frank Mir in what may very well be a career-ending mistake earlier in the month and busting Viscardi Andrade just earlier in the week for a similar violation.
While the anti-doping agency’s settlement with Yoel Romero shows that the system is not exactly fool-proof yet, it’s still doing a respectable job of cleaning up the sport’s dirtiest fighters and hitting them where it hurts the most.
One of the last fighters that you would ever expect to be lumped into that category, however, is former light heavyweight champion Lyoto Machida. Over the course of his near-10 year career in the UFC, “The Dragon” has displayed nothing less than the epitome of class and professionalism both inside and outside of the octagon, serving as a true ambassador for a sport with only a handful of guys that you’d ever want to give such a title to. But just as Anderson Silva did before him, Machida once again reminded us that
Scheduled to rematch Dan Henderson in the co-main event of this weekend’s UFC on FOX 19 card — a card which has already taken its fair share of hits, for what it’s worth — Machida shocked the MMA world this afternoon by admitting that he had used a banned substance while being administered an out-of-competition drug test.
“The UFC organization was made aware today by U.S. Anti-Doping Agency (USADA), the independent administrator of the UFC Anti-Doping Policy, that Lyoto Machida declared the usage of a banned substance during an out-of-competition sample collection last week,” UFC official stated on Wednesday.
“Machida stated that he was unaware that the substance was prohibited both in and out of competition and, in accordance with the UFC Anti-Doping Policy, his disclosure of usage will be taken into consideration by USADA during any potential results management and adjudication process.”
And this right here is why my only heroes are ghosts, Nation. I guess we could give props to Machida for being up front with his banned substance use (though which one he used specifically has not been revealed yet) instead of belittling our intelligence by blaming his positive test on the sauna or the guy testing your samples, but at the same time, Machida is the one guy I would have believed was the victim of some crazy mix up. WHY YOU GOTTA BREAKA MY HEART, LYOTO?! WHYYYY!!!!
As a result of his admission, Machida’s scheduled bout with Henderson has been pulled from UFC on FOX 19, and Henderson is PISSED.
(A fittingly memorable photo for a fittingly memorable fighter. Farewell to thee, Jeremy Rosewall.)
Because some of you fans (and to be fair, some of us in the media) are still convinced that MMA is a sport and not a form of entertainment, there has been a bit of a reaction to the firing of UFC heavyweight Jared Rosholt — if “(*wanking motion*)” counts as a reaction nonetheless.
(A fittingly memorable photo for a fittingly memorable fighter. Farewell to thee, Jeremy Rosewall.)
Because some of you fans (and to be fair, some of us in the media) are still convinced that MMA is a sport and not a form of entertainment, there has been a bit of a reaction to the firing of UFC heavyweight Jared Rosholt — if “(*wanking motion*)” counts as a reaction nonetheless.
Rosholt was officially released from the promotion this morning despite compiling a respectable 6-2 record in his tenure with the UFC that included three wins in his past 4 performances. The general consensus seems to be that Rosholt was the latest example of UFC valuing “entertainment” over “skill,” but in our eyes, his firing breaks down to two simple factors:
1) He was nicknamed “The Big Show” but never put on a show
As we all know, Dana White has as much love for Big Country as Donald Trump does for our Ecuadorian friends down there in Mexico, so if you’re a UFC heavyweight who both loses to Roy Nelson and doesn’t have the common decency to get knocked out by Roy Nelson, you should probably expect your walking papers come the morning.
For us, the bigger offense lies in Rosholt’s offensive and plain presumptuous decision to steal Paul Donald Wight Jr’s ring name. “The Big Show” is a name that has to be earned through the chokeslamming of thine, enemies, Jared. Not through sloppy, grapple-fucked decisions. You know who never once let the judges decide if he was the winner? The actual Big Show.
I mean, just look at that athleticism, that grace. The marks of a true champion, surely.
Anyways, because we are the “true” fans of the sport who will take a well-executed double leg over a fancy side check kick KO any day of the week, we have scoured the Internet for clips of Mr. Rosholt finest work to compile this highlight reel in his honor.
Guys, I’m not quite sure how to break this, so I’ll just come right out and say it. You remember that mother of all freakshow fights between Tank Abbott and Dan Severn that was supposed to headline that insanely-awesome looking UR Fight card this weekend? You know, the one that was set to feature Sonnen vs. Bisping in a grappling match, Angle vs. Mysterio in a professional wrestling match, and Roy Jones Jr. killing a guy? The one that was basically the summation of everything great about America in an era dominated by PC feminazi libtards who want to take away our guns?
It’s off. The fight is off and my heart is literally tearing in two right now.
Guys, I’m not quite sure how to break this, so I’ll just come right out and say it. You remember that mother of all freakshow fights between Tank Abbott and Dan Severn that was supposed to headline that insanely-awesome looking UR Fight card this weekend? You know, the one that was set to feature Sonnen vs. Bisping in a grappling match, Angle vs. Mysterio in a professional wrestling match, and Roy Jones Jr. killing a guy? The one that was basically the summation of everything great about America in an era dominated by PC feminazi libtards who want to take away our guns?
It’s off. The fight is off and my heart is literally tearing in two right now.
And why has Abbott vs. Severn been called off, you ask? Oh, only because of the stupidest reason of them all: SAFETY CONCERNS. As MMAFighting reports:
A rematch between legends Dan Severn and Tank Abbott has been scrapped.
Abbott could not pass his physical and has been removed from the fight against fellow UFC veteran Severn by the Arizona Boxing and MMA Commission, a spokesman for UR Fight confirmed with MMA Fighting on Thursday morning. A replacement is being sought.
Now, before you take to the streets to burn everything held sacred by this unjust world to the ground, you should know that the event itself is still scheduled to go on as planned, and a last-minute replacement opponent is being sought for Severn (please let it be Royce Gracie, please let it be Royce Gracie…). It would appear that the near-death of Dada 5000 at Bellator 149 has once again reared its ugly head, forcing athletic commissions around the country to step up their game and only sanction fights between “healthy” and “able-bodied” fighters.
It’s a f*cking disgrace if you ask me, even if it does make you wonder how Tank Abbott couldn’t pass a physical that this guy could:
I mean, come on. Tank could destroy this chump with a belly full of chicken wings and a half-empty keg tied to his belt, Always Sunny-style.
We’ll be sure to keep you updated when/if Severn’s new opponent is announced, but one thing’s for sure: this does not bode well for The Beast’s proposed “Master’s Division.” Hell, it doesn’t bode well for America.
