Tag: MMA fight booking

Muhammed “King Mo” Lawal Gets an Opponent for Bellator Debut and It’s Some Guy


(Yeah, we’re not really stoked for this one either, Mo.)

Not too long ago, Muhammed “King Mo” Lawal signed a — I guess you’d call it groundbreaking — deal with both Bellator and TNA Wrestling after being released from Strikeforce following a positive test for steroids and an epic Twitter meltdown, a decision he is probably patting himself on the back for in light of recent events. Ever since, we have been quietly waiting to see which one of Bellator’s remaining light heavyweights Mo would square off against first, whether it was…what’s his face, or, uhh…*snaps fingers*…uh…God, I know this…

…

…Turns out, Bellator is going the Josh Barnett route for King Mo’s big debut, bringing in a complete outsider named *checks glasses* Przemyslaw Mysiala to conveniently get squashed just before confetti falls from the ceiling and Mo is declared the next challenger to whomever emerges victorious from the Christian M’Pumbu/Attila Veigh fight. And you better believe that some form of energy drink will be used to hose bitches down at some point in this ceremony, because it sooo will.


(Yeah, we’re not really stoked for this one either, Mo.)

Not too long ago, Muhammed “King Mo” Lawal signed a — I guess you’d call it groundbreaking — deal with both Bellator and TNA Wrestling after being released from Strikeforce following a positive test for steroids and an epic Twitter meltdown, a decision he is probably patting himself on the back for in light of recent events. Ever since, we have been quietly waiting to see which one of Bellator’s remaining light heavyweights Mo would square off against first, whether it was…what’s his face, or, uhh…*snaps fingers*…uh…God, I know this…

…

…Turns out, Bellator is going the Josh Barnett route for King Mo’s big debut, bringing in a complete outsider named *checks glasses* Przemyslaw Mysiala to conveniently get squashed just before confetti falls from the ceiling and Mo is declared the next challenger to whomever emerges victorious from the Christian M’Pumbu/Attila Veigh fight. And you better believe that some form of energy drink will be used to hose bitches down at some point in this ceremony, because it sooo will.

To be fair, Mysiala holds a decent 16-7 record to his credit, so counting him out right from the start seems a bit foolish. On the other hand, he is just 2-2 in his past 4 fights and suffered both those losses by (T)KO, and if Mo is good at one thing, it’s the TKO. I’m not sure where Bellator’s matchmaking department finds these people, but we’ll give them credit for keeping things underground and not selling out to those conformist corporate pigs *puts on skinny jeans and cranks up 8-track player*.

The fight is scheduled for Bellator 86 on January 24th, which goes down in Thackerville, Oklahoma and will also feature Ben Askren vs. Karl Amoussou for the promotion’s welterweight title. It will be Bellator’s second event of season eight and will be broadcast live on SpikeTV.

King Mo has not fought since his win over Lorenz Larkin at Strikeforce: Rockhold vs. Jardine (Author’s note: Man, never gets any easier writing that.) was overturned to a no contest, but can any of you even picture the sick, twisted future in which Mo does not win this?

I hear if Mo takes a header in the locker room on fight night, the bookies will pay you out. Just sayin’.

–J. Jones

K.J. Noons vs. Ryan Couture, Roger Gracie vs. Anthony Smith Added to Strikeforce’s Coda


(Jeez, I haven’t seen such poor fight choreography since Sonny Corleone went to town on that punk Carlo for beating on his kid sister.) 

If our past few posts are any indication, it doesn’t really matter what the subject of this article is, because you Taters will inevitably turn the comment section into a discussion on a feller who goes by dipsetkilla, whether he fucked your mom or not, and how gay you would be based on whether he fucked your mom or not. Personally, I think we should have dipset and bootystar (remember him?) engage in a winner-takes-all battle of incoherent superiority. Then again, dipset is probably hitching up his trousers and throwing a five dollar bill on my mother’s nightstand as we speak, so clearly I have a dog in this fight. Maybe I just miss bootystar and such whimsical gems as: “I bet the gladiator got asked cuz he was caught starring at the pork barrel sausage in the littereen next to his bald headed one yed jack of pades” but I digress.

Aaannnyyway…a pair of bouts have been added to Strikeforce’s stacked (LOL!) final card that will feature Luke Rockhold vs. Mr. Glass, Daniel Cormier vs. some dude, Josh Barnett vs. Imhotep, and Whoshisface vs. Whatshisname. We don’t mean to over-hype these fights, but needless to say, they will forever change your definition of the word “Superfight.”


(Jeez, I haven’t seen such poor fight choreography since Sonny Corleone went to town on that punk Carlo for beating on his kid sister.) 

If our past few posts are any indication, it doesn’t really matter what the subject of this article is, because you Taters will inevitably turn the comment section into a discussion on a feller who goes by dipsetkilla, whether he fucked your mom or not, and how gay you would be based on whether he fucked your mom or not. Personally, I think we should have dipset and bootystar (remember him?) engage in a winner-takes-all battle of incoherent superiority. Then again, dipset is probably hitching up his trousers and throwing a five dollar bill on my mother’s nightstand as we speak, so clearly I have a dog in this fight. Maybe I just miss bootystar and such whimsical gems as: “I bet the gladiator got asked cuz he was caught starring at the pork barrel sausage in the littereen next to his bald headed one yed jack of pades” but I digress.

Aaannnyyway…a pair of bouts have been added to Strikeforce’s stacked (LOL!) final card that will feature Luke Rockhold vs. Mr. Glass, Daniel Cormier vs. some dude, Josh Barnett vs. Imhotep, and Whoshisface vs. Whatshisname. We don’t mean to over-hype these fights, but needless to say, they will forever change your definition of the word “Superfight.”

First up, an interesting clash at lightweight between rising star Ryan Couture and falling star K.J. Noons. Currently 5-1 under the Strikeforce banner, not Randy Couture will be looking to end his SF career with four straight wins against the struggling Noons, who has dropped three of his last four in the promotion including a near death-by-wrestlefucking at the hands of Josh Thompson in his last appearance.

In other news, Roger Gracie will be looking to build on his recent victory over Keith Jardine at Strikeforce:Rockhold vs. Kennedy when he takes on Anthony “Lionheart” Smith, who recently submitted Lumumba Sayers via triangle choke at Strikeforce: Rousey vs. Kaufman to improve his SF record to 2-1.

Random fact: If Mike Kyle can make it to his fight with Gegard Mousasi this time, he will have competed on the very first and very last Strikeforce MMA cards. Cover your eyes, Gegard, because some thumbs will be comin’ your way if history is any indication.

Alright, now that we’ve got past all that boring MMA stuff, can we please get back to where the hell CAPSLOCKHAL and Xeno have been?

–J. Jones

Tyrone Spong’s MMA Debut Set, Will Face James McSweeney on Nov. 3rd


(“And that was the first time I went full stanky leg.”) 

For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Newton’s third law of motion seems to apply to the world of kickboxing this week, as just a few days after it was announced that Swedish kickboxing legend Jorgen Kruth would be departing from the world of MMA, it has been reported that Dutch kickboxing powerhouse Tyrone Spong will be making the transition to it. Spong, who’s has hinted at a move to MMA for some time now, is best known for his battles with such legends of the sport as Peter Aerts, Ray Sefo, and Melvin Manhoef, and currently holds a 68-6-1 with 1 NC record to his credit.

While it was rumored that Spong would be making his debut under the Titan Fighting Championships banner, it appears that the heavyweight slugger will be debuting under upstart promotion World Series of Fighting, alongside UFC rape joke-castaway Miguel Torres and many more.


(“And that was the first time I went full stanky leg.”) 

For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Newton’s third law of motion seems to apply to the world of kickboxing this week, as just a few days after it was announced that Swedish kickboxing legend Jorgen Kruth would be departing from the world of MMA, it has been reported that Dutch kickboxing powerhouse Tyrone Spong will be making the transition to it. Spong, who’s has hinted at a move to MMA for some time now, is best known for his battles with such legends of the sport as Peter Aerts, Ray Sefo, and Melvin Manhoef, and currently holds a 68-6-1 with 1 NC record to his credit.

While it was rumored that Spong would be making his debut under the Titan Fighting Championships banner, it appears that the heavyweight slugger will be debuting under upstart promotion World Series of Fighting, alongside UFC rape joke-castaway Miguel Torres and many more.

And standing across the cage from Spong will be none other than TUF 10 alum James “The Hammer” McSweeney, who has put together four straight wins in the Shamrock Events promotion and one straight win over knife wielding hoodlums of the greater Las Vegas area. McSweeney already has a fight scheduled for October 6th against the 10-11 Matti Makela, but barring any serious injuries, should be ready to compete on November 3rd against Spong. It’s a fight schedule that Bob Sapp could appreciate if he weren’t too busy hiding from the monster in his closet.

There is of course the possibility that McSweeney could pack his bags and move as far away from Spong as humanly possible once he takes a look at one of Spong’s highlight videos. Then again, Spong has been training with the Blackzilians for some time now, so he more than likely will show up ten to twenty pounds over the weight limit.

Who do you like for this one, Potato Nation? Will McSweeney take it to the ground like any sane man would, or will pride rear its ugly head once again?

–J. Jones