(“We’re thinking of broadcasting it on PPV for the low-price of $109.95, including satellite fees … this is for the poster, right?”/ Photo via Getty)
As if the perils and inconsistent regulations of MMA weren’t cringeworthy enough, it seems like the shift to boxing is the answer to when shit really hits the fan.
UFC Hall of Famer Ken Shamrock announced through a press release on his website that he’ll be duking it out against James Quinn in a bare knuckle boxing match, scheduled to take place sometime this April in the United Kingdom.
Here is an excerpt from the statement:
“Shamrock is in great health and feels invigorated by this opportunity to continue to compete and to continue giving back to his fans. Shamrock is going back to his roots as a fighter. Knowing his body well, Shamrock knows that his decision to re-enter the ring for the love of this sport is a sound decision. Shamrock adamantly believes that age should never be a restriction to any athlete. People can do amazing feats past their prime, if it’s a priority to them.
“Shamrock knows that bare-knuckle boxing is a sport with great potential to grow well beyond where the sport is today. His involvement in this sport is to show support and help its success.”
Now, apart from the hilariousness that is Shamrock building his entire website to announce this news, complete with sections devoted to limited merchandise, “Youth Outreach,” and “Shamrock’s Businesses” (including sections like Yes. I Am Learning The Stock Trade, the Shamrock Slam: Technical Fitness Drink, and Profit 101: Self-Defense & Fitness, all under the “Get Stuff” tab, we’re hoping this does happen (because at this point, who the hell cares anymore), yet we’re not exactly holding out for our hero.
Shamrock is infamous for no-showing fights, and other ventures he promotes. The former Pride, Pancrase, and WWE superstar is a repeat offender when it comes to ripping off promoters, like that time he was supposed to fight Ian Freeman, amongst countless other mishaps.
Truth be told, we still think he cut himself backstage with a Mach 3 Turbo before his bout against Kimbo Slice at EliteXC: Heat back in 2008. There was slight hope when Shamrock last resurfaced on Canada’s Off The Record, as he and Tito Ortiz were supposed to dish out dirty secrets stemming from the UFC’s business practices. Instead, it was like going out with your two friends that dated the same person six years ago, and one of them is still complaining about how they never got back that ultra-rare The Jesus & Mary Chain sweater.
Also, it seems like “The World’s Dangerous Man” isn’t guarding 50 Cent anymore, presumably because Shamrock actually doesn’t know who he is, or tried to belly-to-belly suplex Tony Yayo in the studio when he tried to pass the dutch to Fitty.
Ok, that’s enough …. on to James Quinn …
Revered as a bare knuckle boxing legend in Europe, Quinn is a fighter and author, and he’s been in his fair share of WTF moments himself. Below is a fight against another well-travelled slugger, Paddy Joyce, presumably taking place where Jim Gillespie shot I Know What You Did Last Summer (check out the backstory on the fight and the rivalry between Quinn and the Joyce family provided by The Irish Mirror):
We’re sorry for showing you the same kind of unfair assault you’d find on World Star Hip Hop, but this is journalism, after all.
On that note, pretty sure this is going to be extremely depressing. We’re waiting on another MMA website that will be previewing the contest and providing a detailed breakdown of the fight.