And Today’s UFC 149 Injury Victim Is…

An artist's depiction of UFC 149
(These UFC 149 posters may be getting a little grim, but at least their marketing department is being honest for once.) 

*Sigh*

At this point, UFC 149 is kind of like my dog, Zeus. You see, Zeus is one old-ass beagle, whose wrinkled, saggy countenance most closely resembles a wet bag of laundry or an old wicker chair dipped in mayonnaise. Zeus is so old, in fact, that he often trips over his testicles when shuffling his way across the room for a drink of water, or to bark at the ice cream truck as it makes its rounds. But just a few years ago, Zeus was a prime specimen, a real Westminster worthy creature. And as sad as it is to watch him basically devolve from Earl to Baby Sinclair, if you will, I have neither the heart nor the desire to place his fate in my hands and simply put him out of his misery. Plus, who in their right mind would deprive themselves of the endless entertainment that a dog tripping over it’s own testicles provides?

But where I am weak, the UFC brass needs to be strong. If they do not cancel UFC 149 right here and now and give the swindled saps who actually purchased a ticket to this event a full refund, then something terrible is going to happen. I can feel it, like Devon Sawa could feel that Volée Airlines Flight 180 was going to explode, or people with bum knees can feel when it’s going to rain. First it was Sexyama. Then it was SilvaThen Koch. Then Aldo. Then Bisping and even Big Nog. And now, it is being reported that George Roop has been forced to withdraw from his scheduled contest with Antonio Carvalho.

An artist's depiction of UFC 149
(These UFC 149 posters may be getting a little grim, but at least their marketing department is being honest for once.) 

*Sigh*

At this point, UFC 149 is kind of like my dog, Zeus. You see, Zeus is one old-ass beagle, whose wrinkled, saggy countenance most closely resembles a wet bag of laundry or an old wicker chair dipped in mayonnaise. Zeus is so old, in fact, that he often trips over his testicles when shuffling his way across the room for a drink of water, or to bark at the ice cream truck as it makes its rounds. But just a few years ago, Zeus was a prime specimen, a real Westminster worthy creature. And as sad as it is to watch him basically devolve from Earl to Baby Sinclair, if you will, I have neither the heart nor the desire to place his fate in my hands and simply put him out of his misery. Plus, who in their right mind would deprive themselves of the endless entertainment that a dog tripping over it’s own testicles provides?

But where I am weak, the UFC brass needs to be strong. If they do not cancel UFC 149 right here and now and give the swindled saps who actually purchased a ticket to this event a full refund, then something terrible is going to happen. I can feel it, like Devon Sawa could feel that Volée Airlines Flight 180 was going to explode, or people with bum knees can feel when it’s going to rain. First it was Sexyama. Then it was SilvaThen Koch. Then Aldo. Then Bisping and even Big Nog. And now, it is being reported that George Roop has been forced to withdraw from his scheduled contest with Antonio Carvalho.

Although this latest injury may not be as significant as the rest, it is just another one of the legs being chopped out from underneath what will go down as one of the most cursed MMA events of all time.

I may not be a man of religion, but I think that someone, or something, is trying to give the UFC a hint: cancel the show, of suffer the unrepentant wrath of a vengeful God. If the UFC continues with its insolence and actually allows for this event to take place, I predict that no less than 8,000 people will be killed during the PPV broadcast, be it by a roof collapse, an electrical malfunction, or a freak tap dancing accident.

Roop was likely fighting for his UFC career against Carvalho, having dropped three of his last four fights in the promotion and most recently getting KTFO by Cub Swanson at UFC on FOX 2. Carvalho will also be looking to rebound from defeat against Daniel Pineda, who will be stepping in for Roop, as he suffered a unanimous decision defeat at the hands of Felipe Arantes in his UFC debut back at UFC 142. Pineda most recently saw his nine fight win streak snapped at UFC 146, where he dropped a unanimous decision of his own to former WEC featherweight champion Mike Brown in his probable retirement bout.

Who ya got?

J. Jones