Tag: Quote of the Day

Quote of the Day: Wanderlei Silva Honest-to-God Thinks He’ll Be Fighting in Two Months


(“350 bucks?! These supplements were only 315 last week, you snake in the grass!”)

In news that is gonna blow your mind right through the back of your skull, Wanderlei Silva is once again talking absolute nonsense about the future of his MMA career.

If you’ve forgotten or simply don’t care anymore, Silva is still awaiting his official punishment from the Nevada State Athletic Commission for skipping out on his random drug test prior to UFC 175, which he claimed he didn’t do, then claimed he did do but only because he was on diuretics. While Dana White assured us that he would be “buried” for his insolence, Silva recently popped out of the hole he’s been presumably living in for the past month to ensure us that everything is hunky-dory (via Tatame/Bleacher Report):

Life is great. I’m training well. I did a test on my own in Brazil, on June 6, to see if the corticoid and the diuretic were already out of my body. I also tested my testosterone levels. At my age, the level is 180, and I’m at 160. I’m totally clean and cleared to fight as soon as possible. I’m just waiting for the UFC to tell me a date and local. In two months, I will be ready to fight.

Maybe it’s just me, but I’d have a lot more faith in Wandy’s words had they been shouted at me in a basement while bro-rock blared in the background.


(“350 bucks?! These supplements were only 315 last week, you snake in the grass!”)

In news that is gonna blow your mind right through the back of your skull, Wanderlei Silva is once again talking absolute nonsense about the future of his MMA career.

If you’ve forgotten or simply don’t care anymore, Silva is still awaiting his official punishment from the Nevada State Athletic Commission for skipping out on his random drug test prior to UFC 175, which he claimed he didn’t do, then claimed he did do but only because he was on diuretics. While Dana White assured us that he would be “buried” for his insolence, Silva recently popped out of the hole he’s been presumably living in for the past month to ensure us that everything is hunky-dory (via Tatame/Bleacher Report):

Life is great. I’m training well. I did a test on my own in Brazil, on June 6, to see if the corticoid and the diuretic were already out of my body. I also tested my testosterone levels. At my age, the level is 180, and I’m at 160. I’m totally clean and cleared to fight as soon as possible. I’m just waiting for the UFC to tell me a date and local. In two months, I will be ready to fight.

Maybe it’s just me, but I’d have a lot more faith in Wandy’s words had they been shouted at me in a basement while bro-rock blared in the background.

But did you hear that guys? Wanderlei passed a drug test! That he took at home! By himself! Where, oh where have we ever heard that before?

Just in case you weren’t sold on how far off the pasture Wanderlei has wandered, just take a gander at who he’s called out next, and why:

I would like to fight (Luke) Rockhold. He’s a good guy. He’s coming off wins and is the former Strikeforce champion. I think this (fight) could get me in line for the title. It would be perfect to fight him at Maracanazinho.

Fucking wow.

It’s almost as if Wanderlei has suddenly been struck down by Memento disease (which, considering the length of his professional career, could be true) and has no idea that he is nose deep in the most embarrassing scandal of his professional career. You back out of a fight with a bitter rival some two years in the making, literally run away from a drug test, and now think you’re in the position to start calling out fights (in Brazil, no less) and discussing your title aspirations? I would feel bad for you if I wasn’t too busy trying to contain myself from pasting a thousand The Rock eye roll gifs into this post. I am the Axe Murderer’s inflated ego…

We’ll be sure to let you know just how wrong Wanderlei is when his NSAC punishment is handed down, but in the meantime, let’s hear it for Wanderlei Silva, everybody!

–J. Jones

Sad Quote of the Day: Forrest Griffin “Can’t Shoot a Basketball, Can’t Throw a Ball, and Has to Brush His Teeth With His Left Hand” These Days


(And to top it all off, his depth perception has somehow gotten *worse*. Photo via Getty.)

Remember how Ronda Rousey told Miesha Tate that she “should get used to wiping her ass with the other hand?” Well, if Forrest Griffin is to be believed, alternate arm ass wiping is probably a reality she’ll be facing down the line regardless of what Rousey does to her at UFC 168.

Griffin recently appeared on The MMA Hour to discuss life after the UFC, and when asked if there ever a possibility we’d see him unretire (because us MMA journalists simply cannot leave well enough alone), Griffin gave a typically candid response:

I physically can’t (come back). I didn’t want to be done, in the beginning. When I announced my retirement, that was actually when I was trying to come back and I realized, it just wasn’t viable. It passed me by. My shoulder is done. I brush my teeth with my left hand now. That’s just the way it goes. I can’t shoot a basketball, I can’t throw any kind of ball. I was right handed.

The last three years, I was kinda fighting with one arm, on and off. My training camp was, I don’t want to call it Frank Mir style, but it was Frank Mir style. It’s like, I’m going to work on whatever hurts the least today. What are we doing today? Well, what’s not broken today? That’s what we’re going to do today.


(And to top it all off, his depth perception has somehow gotten *worse*. Photo via Getty.)

Remember how Ronda Rousey told Miesha Tate that she “should get used to wiping her ass with the other hand?” Well, if Forrest Griffin is to be believed, alternate arm ass wiping is probably a reality she’ll be facing down the line regardless of what Rousey does to her at UFC 168.

Griffin recently appeared on The MMA Hour to discuss life after the UFC, and when asked if there ever a possibility we’d see him unretire (because us MMA journalists simply cannot leave well enough alone), Griffin gave a typically candid response:

I physically can’t (come back). I didn’t want to be done, in the beginning. When I announced my retirement, that was actually when I was trying to come back and I realized, it just wasn’t viable. It passed me by. My shoulder is done. I brush my teeth with my left hand now. That’s just the way it goes. I can’t shoot a basketball, I can’t throw any kind of ball. I was right handed.

The last three years, I was kinda fighting with one arm, on and off. My training camp was, I don’t want to call it Frank Mir style, but it was Frank Mir style. It’s like, I’m going to work on whatever hurts the least today. What are we doing today? Well, what’s not broken today? That’s what we’re going to do today.

It’s funny how the lives of Griffin and his greatest rival have diverged since their final UFC fight at UFC 148. Here you have one guy who, not without apprehension, was willing to admit that his body had had enough and needed to pack it in. On the other side of the coin, you have a guy (4 years the elder of the first guy, BTW) who came to the same conclusion, only to recant on said decision via a bathroom selfie and suffer an injury that *should* have confirmed his decision in the first place.

But don’t worry, the latter is already “90% recovered” from said injury. Our response can be found here.

–J. Jones

MMA vs. Boxing Chapter MXVII: In Which Dana White Calls Bob Arum “A Moron” and Somehow Doesn’t Die From the Irony


(And another thing that bugs me about the guy is his insistence on using curse words so often. It’s like, for fuck’s sake Bob, our fucking children are watching this shit.) 

When it comes to picking sides in a fight between Dana White and Bob Arum, it often feels like we’re simply choosing the lesser of two evils. Don’t get us wrong, aside from his stance on marijuana in combat sports, Bob Arum comes off as a chode for the most part, especially when he decides to open his mouth about how MMA fans are all a bunch of homosexual skinhead racists. But every now and again, The Baldfather says something so pants-shittingly stupid and drenched in irony that it makes us wonder whether or not he has been completely blinded by his own power. Take the following for example, in which DW calls Arum “the dumbest promoter in the history of the world” for allowing Manny Pacquiao to fight Juan Manuel Marquez a fourth time:

Dumbest fight in history. Bob Arum is a moron. You don’t take that fight, you idiot. Why would you do that fight? It’s all about the money, that’s why. That was a money fight, that’s what that fight was done for. He should have fought Bradley. Bradley’s the fight they should have done. He would have knocked Bradley out, he would have got his belt back and now he’s back in the position he should have been in. [Pacquiao’s] one of the best fighters in the world. He goes out and fights Marquez again? Bob Arum is the dumbest promoter in the history of the world.

Right…but Jon Jones vs. Chael Sonnen and Georges St. Pierre vs. Nick Diaz are somehow not “money fights.” In case you’re wondering, this is where I’d normally insert a Scanners headsplosion gif, but I’m too busy trying to nurse the puppy I just kicked after reading this quote back to life.


(And another thing that bugs me about the guy is his insistence on using curse words so often. It’s like, for fuck’s sake Bob, our fucking children are watching this shit.) 

When it comes to picking sides in a fight between Dana White and Bob Arum, it often feels like we’re simply choosing the lesser of two evils. Don’t get us wrong, aside from his stance on marijuana in combat sports, Bob Arum comes off as a chode for the most part, especially when he decides to open his mouth about how MMA fans are all a bunch of homosexual skinhead racists. But every now and again, The Baldfather says something so pants-shittingly stupid and drenched in irony that it makes us wonder whether or not he has been completely blinded by his own power. Take the following for example, in which DW calls Arum “the dumbest promoter in the history of the world” for allowing Manny Pacquiao to fight Juan Manuel Marquez a fourth time:

Dumbest fight in history. Bob Arum is a moron. You don’t take that fight, you idiot. Why would you do that fight? It’s all about the money, that’s why. That was a money fight, that’s what that fight was done for. He should have fought Bradley. Bradley’s the fight they should have done. He would have knocked Bradley out, he would have got his belt back and now he’s back in the position he should have been in. [Pacquiao’s] one of the best fighters in the world. He goes out and fights Marquez again? Bob Arum is the dumbest promoter in the history of the world.

Right…but Jon Jones vs. Chael Sonnen and Georges St. Pierre vs. Nick Diaz are somehow not “money fights.” PLEASE Dana, go on about how Chael “Coming off a loss and hasn’t fought at LHW since 2005″ Sonnen vs. the most dominant LHW champion since Chuck Liddell is something other than a money fight. Or how the man coming off both a loss and a marijuana suspension who threw away his first opportunity to fight the champ vs. said champ is just matchmaking 101. Because, as we all know, Jones and Sonnen (or GSP and Diaz for that matter) have fought to three incredibly close decisions before and there was a public outcry for some closure. WAIT A MINUTE, NONE OF THAT HAPPENED. Pot, meet kettle.

Meanwhile, Mark Sanchez has been quoted as saying that Tim Tebow “Needs to learn how to throw the fucking football to right team.” Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to go correct someone on their grammatically incorrect blog post.

–J. Jones

Quote of the Day: Fedor Emelianenko May Just Retire After His Fight With Pedro Rizzo


(For some reason, we can’t watch this fight without first playing “The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down” on loop for a good 3 hours.) 

Sad news for those of you who were still clinging to the fragile hope that it was only a matter of time before Fedor Emelianenko would rise from the ashes of mediocrity that he seems to have entrenched himself in lately. In a recent interview with Russian publication Rianovosti, “The Last Emperor” candidly spoke about his future in MMA, and claimed that it might be coming to an end after his fight with fellow legend Pedro Rizzo, which is set to transpire on June 21st in St. Petersberg. True to form, Fedor was not one to elaborate when discussing the possibility of retirement.

I think it’s time to call it a day. This fight may be my last one. 

So there you have it. God is dead, there will be no Christmas this year, and Fedor f’ing Emelianenko is never going to fight an opponent that stands a chance of beating him ever again. And this is in no way an insult to Rizzo, it’s just that, well, if Gilbert Yvel was able to do this to him, just imagine what Fedor will do. Now combine that with the fact that Rizzo has not fought since nearly crippling the human punching bag that is Ken Shamrock back in July of 2010, and you have the makings for another brutal KO win on Emelianenko’s record over an opponent that no one wants to see get knocked out again.

But Emelianenko was nothing but considerate when discussing his opponent, as has become the standard with a true gentlemen like Fedor:

I have been learning from Pedro’s fights and have a lot of respect for him. He is a fighter of a great maturity, beating many of the strongest.

There’s no denying that in his prime, Rizzo was one of the most feared strikers in the sport, and deserves a boatload of respect for his accomplishments as a mixed martial artist. But come June 21st, we might see two illustrious careers come to an end. One via retirement, and the other via death.

-J. Jones


(For some reason, we can’t watch this fight without first playing “The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down” on loop for a good 3 hours.) 

Sad news for those of you who were still clinging to the fragile hope that it was only a matter of time before Fedor Emelianenko would rise from the ashes of mediocrity that he seems to have entrenched himself in lately. In a recent interview with Russian publication Rianovosti, “The Last Emperor” candidly spoke about his future in MMA, and claimed that it might be coming to an end after his fight with fellow legend Pedro Rizzo, which is set to transpire on June 21st in St. Petersberg. True to form, Fedor was not one to elaborate when discussing the possibility of retirement.

I think it’s time to call it a day. This fight may be my last one. 

So there you have it. God is dead, there will be no Christmas this year, and Fedor f’ing Emelianenko is never going to fight an opponent that stands a chance of beating him ever again. And this is in no way an insult to Rizzo, it’s just that, well, if Gilbert Yvel was able to do this to him, just imagine what Fedor will do. Now combine that with the fact that Rizzo has not fought since nearly crippling the human punching bag that is Ken Shamrock back in July of 2010, and you have the makings for another brutal KO win on Emelianenko’s record over an opponent that no one wants to see get knocked out again.

But Emelianenko was nothing but considerate when discussing his opponent, as has become the standard with a true gentlemen like Fedor:

I have been learning from Pedro’s fights and have a lot of respect for him. He is a fighter of a great maturity, beating many of the strongest.

There’s no denying that in his prime, Rizzo was one of the most feared strikers in the sport, and deserves a boatload of respect for his accomplishments as a mixed martial artist. But come June 21st, we might see two illustrious careers come to an end. One via retirement, and the other via death.

-J. Jones

Quote of the Day: Melvin Guillard is “Praying” for a Joe Lauzon Rematch

Joe Lauzon Melvin Guillard UFC 136
(Come to think of it, we’d watch this again.) 

Perhaps Melvin Guillard has made some DRASTIC improvements to his ground game since joining up with the Blackzilians, or perhaps he simply has some sort of autoerotic asphyxiation fetish, because the hard hitting lightweight recently told MMA Weekly that he wants his next fight to be a rematch against Joe Lauzon, whom you may recall, dropped Guillard and finished him with a rear-naked choke in just under 50 seconds of their UFC 136 bout. According to Guillard, the loss is the only in his career that he felt he truly should have won. Here’s what “The Young Assassin” had to say:

In the 10 losses I have in my MMA career, I haven’t rematched anyone I’ve lost to. Not once, I’ve never really cared for rematches because I felt they won, now I’ll move on. Right now, I’m at the point where this fight means something to me, I have something to prove against Joe Lauzon, so this is a rematch I’m asking for. Right now, I’m looking to watch the fights in Japan and I’m praying that he loses to (Anthony) Pettis because I want a rematch against Joe Lauzon. I don’t want to fight nobody next but Joe Lauzon. I don’t even care how it goes, I just want to see Pettis win and I want an immediate rematch with Joe Lauzon. Hopefully, I can get that rematch by fourth of July in Vegas.

Join us after the jump for a few more interesting musings from Guillard’s interview.

Joe Lauzon Melvin Guillard UFC 136
(Come to think of it, we’d watch this again.) 

Perhaps Melvin Guillard has made some DRASTIC improvements to his ground game since joining up with the Blackzilians, or perhaps he simply has some sort of autoerotic asphyxiation fetish, because the hard hitting lightweight recently told MMA Weekly that he wants his next fight to be a rematch against Joe Lauzon, whom you may recall, dropped Guillard and finished him with a rear-naked choke in just under 50 seconds of their UFC 136 bout. According to Guillard, the loss is the only in his career that he felt he truly should have won. Here’s what “The Young Assassin” had to say:

In the 10 losses I have in my MMA career, I haven’t rematched anyone I’ve lost to. Not once, I’ve never really cared for rematches because I felt they won, now I’ll move on. Right now, I’m at the point where this fight means something to me, I have something to prove against Joe Lauzon, so this is a rematch I’m asking for. Right now, I’m looking to watch the fights in Japan and I’m praying that he loses to (Anthony) Pettis because I want a rematch against Joe Lauzon. I don’t want to fight nobody next but Joe Lauzon. I don’t even care how it goes, I just want to see Pettis win and I want an immediate rematch with Joe Lauzon. Hopefully, I can get that rematch by fourth of July in Vegas.

Guillard also stated that his dislike for Lauzon has dramatically increased over the past couple months thanks to Twitter, go figure. Apparently Lauzon had some less than nice things to say about Guillard in the wake of his first round submission (also by rear-naked choke) loss to Jim Miller at the inaugural UFC on FX event. Shortly after the fight was over, Lauzon posted, “Some people never learn…that looked familiar.” That statement, along with several other comments Lauzon made expressing his frustration over Guillard’s claims that the loss was a fluke seem to have angered Guillard to no end:

Lately on my Twitter some posts have been popping up and I’m like what the hell is this? So I’m looking and next thing I know it’s people talking about Joe Lauzon hit the nail on the head, he was right, so I went in and read the article and all of a sudden he’s blasting me talking about he slapped me and he choked me out, and Melvin’s going around telling everybody I got lucky. 

I never said the dude got lucky. I said it was a good fight, I always gave Joe Lauzon the respect that was due, and I thought he was the better guy that day. Did I think the fight was a fluke on my part? Yeah, the fight was a fluke on my part, but I never took anything from him. So I guess he misinterpreted what I said.

Guillard has grown so heated over Lauzon’s recent comments, in fact, that he has threatened to violate the CP ban of bringing back your old self when discussing his future pans for “J-Lau.”

The new me, I’m trying to be respectful and handle it the right way, but at this point right now I’m kind of fed up with it. The old me is about to come out on Joe Lauzon. He’s about to take Rich Clementi’s place of being that guy that I just don’t like.

If you recall, Clementi and Guillard had an epic war of words before, during, and after their UFC 79 battle. If you also recall, Clementi won that fight by way of REAR-NAKED CHOKE. Afterward, Clementi and Guillard nearly came to blows yet again when Clementi told Joe Rogan in the post fight interview that Melvin “still hadn’t learned his lesson.” Ironic.

What do you guys think? Does Guillard deserve another shot at Lauzon, or should we be talking about the fact that a man who was being touted as the next lightweight title contender not too long ago is now asking for rematch against an opponent who would hypothetically be coming off a loss? Discuss.

-J. Jones

Quote of the Day: Ronda Rousey – “I Think I Am the Most Dangerous Unarmed Woman on the Planet”

So Ronda Rousey was on some program called Attack of the Show the other night, and the first thing we gotta say is daaaaaaammmnnnn. We’ve been hearing blasphemous claims of Ronda being a 5 at best around here as of late, and it’s time to squash this beef. Anyone who claims this woman is below a 7 must either email us a photo of their current or previous girlfriend, or send one to our Twitter or Facebook page. Otherwise…LIFETIME BAN.

Now that we’ve moved past her body, perhaps we can discuss her mind, as it is beginning to look like the witty, boisterous apparition that once inhabited Chael Sonnen has chosen Ronda as its next victim. Rousey, despite never fighting at bantamweight, is currently listed as a 4-to-1 favorite over current champ Meisha Tate, and the hype might just be getting to her head. When asked on how dangerous she saw herself, Rousey responded:

I think I am the most dangerous unarmed woman on the planet. [Looks to audience] I could literally kill every single person in this room with my bare hands if I had them one at a time. I wouldn’t do that, but I’m just saying, I could do it. 

So Ronda Rousey was on some program called Attack of the Show the other night, and the first thing we gotta say is daaaaaaammmnnnn. We’ve been hearing blasphemous claims of Ronda being a 5 at best around here as of late, and it’s time to squash this beef. Anyone who claims this woman is a below a 7 must either email us a photo of their current or previous girlfriend, or send one to our Twitter or Facebook page. Otherwise…LIFETIME BAN.

Now that we’ve moved past her body, perhaps we can discuss her mind, as it is beginning to look like the witty, boisterous apparition that once inhabited Chael Sonnen has chosen Ronda as its next victim. Rousey, despite never fighting at bantamweight, is currently listed as a 4-to-1 favorite over current champ Meisha Tate, and the hype might just be getting to her head. When asked on how dangerous she saw herself, Rousey responded:

I think I am the most dangerous unarmed woman on the planet. [Looks to audience] I could literally kill every single person in this room with my bare hands if I had them one at a time. I wouldn’t do that, but I’m just saying, I could do it. 

Look, it’s not that we doubt Ms. Rousey’s claims or anything, because just look at the bones, but does anyone think Rousey may be slightly overlooking Tate here? The woman has played the role of spoiler before, and if Ronda just happens to have an off night come March 3rd (she likely won’t), all these claims are really going to blow up in her face. Yes, we understand that we just used the phrase “blow up in her face.” Get your minds out of the gutter, Potato Nation.

Ronda goes on to describe her Twitter war with Christiane Santos, and drops another zinger when describing the photo of Gina Carano that Cyborg tweeted earlier this month, stating “…it was a Photoshopped picture of Gina Carano after they fought, which I’m sure is not the first time Cyborg has used Photoshop.”

Our fascination with this woman has officially reached a threat level of Peter Gabriel. There is no higher level.

Also of note from the interview, apparently Rousey was once jumped by a group of guys in a movie theater, and beat them up so badly that they later sued her for assault. Only in America. She then goes on to hip toss the show’s host in a very, very tight dress……I’m sorry, what were we talking about?

Oh yes, we were warning sweet, sweet Ronda to use caution, for hubris has its costs. That said, I’ve got her by armbar at 1:20 of round one.

-Danga