If you’re not familiar with MMA reporter/occasional UFC employee Ariel Helwani by now, all you need to know is that he loves to instigate shit between MMA fighters more than MMAMania’s Jesse Holland loves to eye-rape Brittney Palmer. The shots, they have been fired.
Helwani has been rightfully punked for talking noise on several occasions in the past, most notably by sirs Diaz, Page and Ortiz, but has never ceased in his quest to poke bee nests from afar while simultaneously acting as if he isn’t the one holding the honey-covered stick. His shit-stirring skills were on full display at the unveiling of the TUF 20 cast last week, where he sat down (sort of) with each member of the cast to ask hard-hitting questions like:
-”Is there anyone you saw while moving into the house that you were like ‘Oh my gosh, I have to live with this person?’”
-”Is there anyone that you’re annoyed that you have to live with for the next six weeks?”
-”Like who, who are we talking about?”
-”C’mon, it’s more fun that way.”
-”Is it Felice? Are you talking about Felice?”
-”Really? You don’t like anyone, you don’t hate anyone?”
And my personal favorite…
-”Who do you think will win the show?”
Even in a room full of women, Ariel Helwani manages to come out the cattiest bitch of the bunch. I’m sure this series of high school superlatives passed off as interviews — in which Helwani tells Felice Herrig to her face that no one seems to like her — was not in any influenced by the report that Herrig and Heather Clark got into a fight on the first day of filming. Classy, classy stuff.
So congrats, Ariel, you ahave truly earned your title as the Perez Hilton of our fine sport. May you jerk off to the “Biggest Reality Show Catfights” Edition of US Weekly forevermore.
“But Jared, aren’t you instigating some shit between CagePotato and Ariel Helwani right now?” you ask, to which I bat my eyelashes and respond that I’m just a powah wittle witah who would nevah dweam of insulting a weal joinalist.