UFC 158 Injury Update: Nate Marquardt To Fill In Against Jake Ellenberger, Who Thinks Johny Hendricks Is Ducking Him


(Photo courtesy of Esther Lin/Getty Images)

In the wake of Rory MacDonald‘s UFC 158 injury withdrawal — which is now confirmed to be a “severe neck and back strain” that will sideline him for three to four weeks — the UFC has shifted some talent around to make sure all the welterweights on the “St. Pierre vs. Diaz” supporting card still have dance partners.

As previously reported, MacDonald’s scheduled opponent Carlos Condit will face top 170-pound contender Johny Hendricks, who was originally supposed to face Jake Ellenberger. (The UFC first offered the Condit fight to Tarec Saffiedine, who reportedly declined.)

Now, Ellenberger’s replacement opponent at the March 16th event in Montreal will be none other than Nate Marquardt. The fight will be Marquardt’s first appearance in the Octagon since he was fired from the UFC in 2011 due to a testosterone-related misunderstanding, then reappeared in Strikeforce as a welterweight, KO’d Tyron Woodley to win the promotion’s vacant welterweight title, and lost it last month in a painful decision loss to…Tarec Saffiedine. See? It’s all connected, man. [*Huffs more keyboard duster*]

And there’s one more element that makes this story even more confusing…


(Photo courtesy of Esther Lin/Getty Images)

In the wake of Rory MacDonald‘s UFC 158 injury withdrawal — which is now confirmed to be a “severe neck and back strain” that will sideline him for three to four weeks — the UFC has shifted some talent around to make sure all the welterweights on the “St. Pierre vs. Diaz” supporting card still have dance partners.

As previously reported, MacDonald’s scheduled opponent Carlos Condit will face top 170-pound contender Johny Hendricks, who was originally supposed to face Jake Ellenberger. (The UFC first offered the Condit fight to Tarec Saffiedine, who reportedly declined.)

Now, Ellenberger’s replacement opponent at the March 16th event in Montreal will be none other than Nate Marquardt. The fight will be Marquardt’s first appearance in the Octagon since he was fired from the UFC in 2011 due to a testosterone-related misunderstanding, then reappeared in Strikeforce as a welterweight, KO’d Tyron Woodley to win the promotion’s vacant welterweight title, and lost it last month in a painful decision loss to…Tarec Saffiedine. See? It’s all connected, man. [*Huffs more keyboard duster*]

And there’s one more element that makes this story even more confusing: Jake Ellenberger is under the impression that Johny Hendricks — who has won his last five fights, including knockout wins of Jon Fitch and Martin Kampmann in a combined 58 seconds — is scared of him. Last night, he tweetedI knew you’d find a way out @JohnyHendricks,” to which his brother Joe Ellenberger repliedFight was signed. @JohnyHendricks called bossman, begged for easier fight. Got a new fight = ducking #scared.”

I’ve got nothing against the Ellenberger bros, but this is bordering on Rampage Jackson-level delusion. First off, the idea that Carlos Condit would be an easier opponent for Johny Hendricks than Jake Ellenberger is questionable to say the least. And “I knew you’d find a way out”? Come on, now. A co-main event fighter suffered a freak injury, and the first guy they tried to bring in as a replacement said no. So, Hendricks accepted a higher-profile fight against Condit, which helps his career and keeps the card somewhat intact. Would Jake Ellenberger have done any differently if he was in that situation?

Gracie, Mousasi, Marquardt Among Strikeforce Fighters Headed to the UFC


(Oh yeah, this guy is headed over as well. Thank God for that.)

As we reported yesterday, Jorge Gurgel’s claim that the fighters who came up short at Strikeforce: Marquardt vs. Saffiedine would find themselves out of a UFC contract was not exactly truthful. KJ Noons, Kurt Holobaugh, and Anthony Smith, for example, all suffered defeats at the event and were ironically the first names to be mentioned in the Strikeforce/UFC…migration, I guess?

On last night’s edition of UFC Tonight, the full list of Strikeforce fighters who would be making the transition to the big leagues was announced, and suffice it to say, there were a couple rather puzzling omissions and inclusions. After the jump is that full list, along with our thoughts on who some of these gentlemen should face in their UFC debuts.

HEAVYWEIGHT 
-Daniel Cormier (11-0 MMA, 8-0 SF)

LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT 
-Gegard Mousasi (33-3-2 MMA, 4-1-1 SF)
-Gian Villante (10-3 MMA, 3-2 SF)


(Oh yeah, this guy is headed over as well. Thank God for that.)

As we reported yesterday, Jorge Gurgel’s claim that the fighters who came up short at Strikeforce: Marquardt vs. Saffiedine would find themselves out of a UFC contract was not exactly truthful. KJ Noons, Kurt Holobaugh, and Anthony Smith, for example, all suffered defeats at the event and were ironically the first names to be mentioned in the Strikeforce/UFC…migration, I guess?

On last night’s edition of UFC Tonight, the full list of Strikeforce fighters who would be making the transition to the big leagues was announced, and suffice it to say, there were a couple rather puzzling omissions and inclusions. After the jump is that full list, along with our thoughts on who some of these gentlemen should face in their UFC debuts.

HEAVYWEIGHT 
-Daniel Cormier (11-0 MMA, 8-0 SF)

LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT 
-Gegard Mousasi (33-3-2 MMA, 4-1-1 SF)
-Gian Villante (10-3 MMA, 3-2 SF)

MIDDLEWEIGHT
-Luke Rockhold (10-1 MMA, 9-0 SF)
-Roger Gracie (6-1 MMA, 4-1 SF)
-Tim Kennedy (15-4 MMA, 6-2 SF)
-Lorenz Larkin (13-0 MMA, 4-0 SF)
-Ronaldo Souza (17-3 MMA, 7-1 SF)

WELTERWEIGHT
-Tarec Saffiedine (14-3 MMA, 6-1 SF)
-Nate Marquardt (32-11-2 MMA, 1-1 SF, 10-4 UFC)
-Jason High (16-3 MMA, 3-0 SF, 0-1 UFC)
-Bobby Voelker (24-8 MMA, 4-1 SF)
-Roger Bowling (11-3 MMA, 4-3 SF)

LIGHTWEIGHT
-Gilbert Melendez (21-2 MMA, 11-1 SF)
-Ryan Couture (6-1 MMA, 6-1 SF)
-Pat Healy (29-16 MMA, 7-1 SF, 0-1 UFC)
-K.J. Noons (11-6 MMA, 3-4 SF)
-Josh Thompson (19-5 MMA, 10-3 SF, 2-1 UFC)
-Adriano Martins (24-6 MMA, 1-0 SF)
-Kurt Holobaugh (8-1 MMA, 0-1 SF)

We know what you’re thinking, “WHERE’S BRANDON SALING?!”

Also notably absent from this list is that of Josh Barnett, who dispatched notable can Nandor Guelmino on the main card, and Estevan Payan, the famously dispatched Bellator veteran who also scored a win last Saturday and currently holds a 2-0 record in SF. Also heading over to the UFC but not included on this list is that of Bobby Green, who is already scheduled to face Jacob Volkmann at UFC 156.

Now, for the matchups.

Gegard MousasiAn incredible striker with ever-improving grappling, we think a good first fight for Mousasi would be against an Igor Pokrajac-level fighter. Pokrajac has fought 9 times in the UFC, and recently suffered a loss to Joey Beltran that was overturned to a NC after Beltran tested positive for Nandrolone.

Luke RockholdHe’s been scheduled to face Lorenz Larkin for what feels like years now, and if he can stay healthy long enough to actually fight under his new promotion, we say the UFC kills two birds with one stone with that matchup.

Tim Kennedy: It’s sink or swim time for everybody’s favorite drag queen Army Ranger, who has shown an ability to control most of his opponents on the mat while continuously appearing out of his element on the feet. A matchup against the similarly grappling-based but heavy handed Mark Munoz, who should finally be recovered from his various injuries in the near future, seems like a perfect test for both men.

Tarec Saffiedine: Throw the newly crowned welterweight champ the winner of the Rory MacDonald/Carlos Condit rematch if you’d really like to see how far his technical counter-striking game can take him. Of course, if you think he’s earned a warm up fight, give him Mike Pierce, a perennial top contender who has now collected three straight in the octagon.

Nate Marquardt: When he can walk on his own power again, we say give him Thiago Alves, who is literally one of the only upper-level guys in the welterweight division without a currently scheduled fight. If anything, it will show us whether or not Marquardt can learn to check a leg kick.

Ryan Couture: Tony Ferguson. I don’t know why, but something about where these two currently sit in the lightweight division just makes sense.

So, Potato Nation, do you like these potential matchups, and who would you suggest the remaining Strikeforce fighters square off against first?

J. Jones

‘Strikeforce: Marquardt vs. Saffiedine’ Salaries: Josh Barnett Makes 250k The Really, Really, Easy Way


(“OK, Josh, now act like this Nandor fellow was somehow able to land a punch on you. We’ll use it for the gag reel.”)

The Oklahoma Athletic Commission recently released the payout figures for Strikeforce: Marquardt vs. Saffiedine, and wouldn’t you know it, Heavyweight Grand Prix runner-up Josh Barnett was able to walk away with nearly a quarter of the total disclosed $1,153,500 payroll for less than three minutes of work. Also of note, Tarec Saffiedine collected approximately $2.50 for each kick he was able to land on Nate Marquardt, yet still wound up a grand shy of, you guessed it, Frank Stallone Nate Marquardt when all was said and done. Speaking of Marquardt, dude somehow didn’t even get a precautionary suspension despite exiting the arena on crutches with a leg that looked like it had stared at the Ark of the Covenant. We were able to secure an exclusive interview with his doctor earlier today, who smugly stated that “Leg kicks certainly do not end lives” before throwing a smoke bomb and disappearing from the room. A strange man indeed.

Anyway, check out the full list of salaries along with our thoughts after the jump. Per usual, these figures are absent of any locker room bonuses, sponsorship bonuses, or invitations to Scott Coker’s BBQ bash this weekend that any of the fighters may have received.

Tarec Saffiedine: $39,000 ($19,500 win bonus)
def. Nate Marquardt: $40,000

Daniel Cormier: $120,000 ($60,000 win bonus)
def. Dion Staring: $8,000


(“OK, Josh, now act like this Nandor fellow was somehow able to land a punch on you. We’ll use it for the gag reel.”)

The Oklahoma Athletic Commission recently released the payout figures for Strikeforce: Marquardt vs. Saffiedine, and wouldn’t you know it, Heavyweight Grand Prix runner-up Josh Barnett was able to walk away with nearly a quarter of the total disclosed $1,153,500 payroll for less than three minutes of work. Also of note, Tarec Saffiedine collected approximately $2.50 for each kick he was able to land on Nate Marquardt, yet still wound up a grand shy of, you guessed it, Frank Stallone Nate Marquardt when all was said and done. Speaking of Marquardt, dude somehow didn’t even get a precautionary suspension despite exiting the arena on crutches with a leg that looked like it had stared at the Ark of the Covenant. We were able to secure an exclusive interview with his doctor earlier today, who smugly stated that “Leg kicks certainly do not end lives” before throwing a smoke bomb and disappearing from the room. A strange man indeed.

Anyway, check out the full list of salaries along with our thoughts after the jump. Per usual, these figures are absent of any locker room bonuses, sponsorship bonuses, or invitations to Scott Coker’s BBQ bash this weekend that any of the fighters may have received.

Tarec Saffiedine: $39,000 ($19,500 win bonus)
def. Nate Marquardt: $40,000

Daniel Cormier: $120,000 ($60,000 win bonus)
def. Dion Staring: $8,000

Josh Barnett: $250,000 (no win bonus)
def. Nandor Guelmino: $12,000

Gegard Mousasi: $175,000 (no win bonus)
def. Mike Kyle: $25,000

Ronaldo Souza: $100,500 ($28,000 win bonus)
def. Ed Herman: $34,000

Ryan Couture: $22,000 ($7,000 win bonus)
def. KJ Noons: $41,000

Tim Kennedy: $80,000 ($25,000 win bonus)
def. Trevor Smith: $8,000

Pat Healy: $42,000 ($15,000 win bonus)
def. Kurt Holobaugh: $9,000

Roger Gracie: $94,000 ($47,000 win bonus)
def. Anthony Smith: $10,000

Adriano Martins: $16,000 ($8,000 win bonus)
def. Jorge Gurgel: $10,000

Estevan Payan: $12,000 ($6,000 win bonus)
def. Michael Bravo: $6,000

Before we get started, we’d like to commend Josh Barnett for battling through an illness that forced him to delay his fight week plans. The man is truly a fighter’s fighter and should be compensated as such. That said, damn. We’re not saying he’s overpaid, we’d just like to know why at a quarter million to show, Strikeforce would be happy throwing Barnett little more than a scary-looking training dummy for his final fight in the promotion. For that kind of money, you’d think they’d at least try and book a fight that didn’t resemble the beginning of a training montage. Seriously, swap Nandor with Sly Stallone and Barnett with Carl Weathers and that fight was basically the scene where Rocky gets dusted by Apollo Creed in a dead sprint on the beach. You know, before Adrian does her typical “What are you afraid of?! Death?! You should be, because HE’LL KILL YA ROCK!” thing and Rocky finds the inner courage to engage in homosexual water-splashing with Apollo or whatever.

Overpaid: According to Keith Kizer, the average MMA judge makes between $200 and $1,000 on a given night, depending on how big the show is, of course. I submit that the judges responsible for scoring the KJ Noons/Ryan Couture fight should not only be forced to turn over that money to the state, but should be ostracized from the MMA community entirely, possibly after a tar-and-feathering ceremony. When I worked at McDonald’s as a teenager, I only took home around $300 a week. I may not have been the perfect employee, but I could always tell the difference between a Filet-o-Fish and a hamburger. Clearly, two of those judges lacked this necessary discriminatory skill, and their ignorance should be eradicated before it infects the state of MMA judging any worse.

Underpaid: You think Strikeforce would have thrown Dion Starling a little more cash for accepting what was pretty much a death sentence on short notice. Looks like the poor bastard will have to continue cutting his own hair in the dark of his long since condemned apartment for the foreseeable future.

J. Jones

Strikeforce: Marquardt vs. Saffiedine Aftermath — The Awkward Goodbyes

I’ll be completely honest: I didn’t watch Strikeforce’s farewell card live last night. I recorded it, and watched it when I was done watching football. Am I just that dedicated of a 49ers/Packers fan? Not quite; last night was the first time I watched either team play all season. Rather, my mentality was that I haven’t been changing my schedule to accommodate Strikeforce events for the past two years now [Author Note: Damn, was the buyout really two years ago already? Time flies when you’re watching something die.], so why start now for the promotion’s grand finale.

Reading through the collection of Strikeforce tributes online, it’s obvious that I’m not the only one feeling this way. Articles and tweets about the demise of Strikeforce have been respectful, but not overly-sentimental, and the comments sections of various liveblogs covering the event didn’t exactly blow up for the occasion. There were none of the regrets, what-nows and what-could-have-beens that usually come along with failed business ventures – just a few awkward goodbyes as Zuffa prepared to pull the plug on the machine that no longer served any purpose.

And honestly, why would anyone other than Strikeforce’s employees, fighters and Scott Coker feel any differently? The death of Strikeforce doesn’t mark the end of a promotion that has been pumping out relevant fights for the past two years. It isn’t the death of an alternative option for fighters not wanting to sign with Zuffa. It isn’t the even the end of free MMA on basic cable.

I guess it would be different if this card was stacked with the fighters who made Strikeforce Strikeforce, such as Cung Le, Nick Diaz, Alistair Overeem, Ronda Rousey, Gilbert Melendez and Luke Rockhold, but they’ve either been assimilated into the UFC by now or they’ve pulled out of the event due to injury/apathy. Instead, this card served as one final night of squash fights – one of which actually ended differently than you may have expected.

I’ll be completely honest: I didn’t watch Strikeforce’s farewell card live last night. I recorded it, and watched it when I was done watching football. Am I just that dedicated of a 49ers/Packers fan? Not quite; last night was the first time I watched either team play all season. Rather, my mentality was that I haven’t been changing my schedule to accommodate Strikeforce events for the past two years now [Author Note: Damn, was the buyout really two years ago already? Time flies when you’re watching something die.], so why start now for the promotion’s grand finale.

Reading through the collection of Strikeforce tributes online, it’s obvious that I’m not the only one feeling this way. Articles and tweets about the demise of Strikeforce have been respectful, but not overly-sentimental, and the comments sections of various liveblogs covering the event didn’t exactly blow up for the occasion. There were none of the regrets, what-nows and what-could-have-beens that usually come along with failed business ventures – just a few awkward goodbyes as Zuffa prepared to pull the plug on the machine that no longer served any purpose.

And honestly, why would anyone other than Strikeforce’s employees, fighters and Scott Coker feel any differently? The death of Strikeforce doesn’t mark the end of a promotion that has been pumping out relevant fights for the past two years. It isn’t the death of an alternative option for fighters not wanting to sign with Zuffa. It isn’t the even the end of free MMA on basic cable.

I guess it would be different if this card was stacked with the fighters who made Strikeforce Strikeforce, such as Cung Le, Nick Diaz, Alistair Overeem, Ronda Rousey, Gilbert Melendez and Luke Rockhold, but they’ve either been assimilated into the UFC by now or they’ve pulled out of the event due to injury/apathy. Instead, this card served as one final night of squash fights – one of which actually ended differently than you may have expected.

So let’s talk about the upset on the main card. Tarec Saffiedine shocked us all not simply by defeating Nate Marquardt, but rather, by how easily he managed to do so. Saffiedine made effective usage of his crisp striking by absolutely battering Nate the Great throughout the bout, peppering Marquardt with leg kicks until his leg resembled Junior Dos Santos’ face. Saffiedine felt he needed to win in order to get an offer from the UFC, and it showed in his effort. Saffiedine’s conditioning, game plan and overall performance was far more convincing than Marquardt’s output last night, plain and simple.

And for those of you preparing for MMA Jeopardy, yes, Tarec Saffiedine is officially the final welterweight champion in Strikeforce history.

As for the rest of the card, there isn’t much to honestly say. We knew Cormier was going destroy what’s his name, and he did. Cormier may have been too ambitious with his callouts of both Frank Mir and Jon Jones after the fight, but if he gets past Frank Mir, I know I’m not the only person who is curious to see how he would do at 205. The fact that Josh Barnett was sick throughout fight week, yet still utterly dominated the big, scary-looking Nandor Guelmino was a testament to both Barnett’s skills and the lopsided nature of this matchup. Don’t get too excited about seeing Barnett back in the UFC though; it doesn’t sound like he’s in a rush to sign back on. Gegard Mousasi choked Mike Kyle into retirement in a little over four minutes, while Jacare Souza kicked off the night by locking UFC-loaned jobber Ed Herman in a kimura in just three minutes and ten seconds.

It wasn’t exactly the most glamorous way for Strikeforce to have gone out – and it certainly wasn’t the preferable way – but Strikeforce went out on the highest possible low note. The fights may have been squash matches of little significance, but damn it, they were at least fun to watch, so that has to count for something. Fun fights that don’t really matter in the long run – if that’s not Zuffa-owned Strikeforce in a nutshell, then what is?

Farewell, Strikeforce. You did what you could with what you had to work with, for the few people who still cared in the end. Now, back to business as usual.

Full Results

Main Card:

Tarec Saffiedine def. Nate Marquardt via unanimous decision
Daniel Cormier def. Dion Staring via TKO (punches), 4:02 of Round Two
Josh Barnett def. Nandor Guelmino via submission (arm-triangle), 2:11 of Round One
Gegard Mousasi def. Mike Kyle via submission (rear-naked choke), 4:09 of Round One
Ronaldo Souza def. Ed Herman via submission (Kimura), 3:10 of Round One

Preliminary Card:

Pat Healy def. Kurt Holobaugh via unanimous decision
Roger Gracie def. Anthony Smith via submission (arm-triangle), 3:16 of Round Two
Tim Kennedy def. Trevor Smith via sumission (guillotine), 1:36 of Round Three
Ryan Couture def. K.J. Noons via split decision
Adriano Martins def. Jorge Gurgel vie unanimous decision
Estevan Payan def. Mike Bravo via TKO (strikes), 4:01 in Round Two

@SethFalvo 

Strikeforce: Marquardt vs. Saffiedine — Live Results and Commentary


(I know what you’re thinking: Why the hell did they leave Nandor Guelmino off the poster? Well I don’t mean to alarm you, but that bright shining ball of fire in the background *is* Nandor Guelmino.)

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the end of the world. Tonight’s last-ever Strikeforce event went from a championship triple-header to Squash City in a hurry, and it’s okay to feel depressed about it. (If you need somebody to talk to, call 1-888-BRO-TATO and one of our mental health professionals will be on the line shortly.)

On the main card this evening, Nate Marquardt puts his welterweight title on the line against Belgian standout Tarec Saffiedine, Daniel Cormier and Josh Barnett try not to shit the bed against their unheralded opponents, Gegard Mousasi returns from a long layoff to face Mike Kyle, and Ed Herman crosses the UFC/Strikeforce DMZ to bang with the always-dangerous Ronaldo “Jacare” Souza.

Like a spirit guide leading us from one realm of existence to the next, Jim Genia will be sticking round-by-round results from the “Marquardt vs. Saffiedine” Showtime broadcast after the jump, beginning at 10 p.m. ET. Make your voices heard in the comments section, and please, let’s honor this moment.


(I know what you’re thinking: Why the hell did they leave Nandor Guelmino off the poster? Well I don’t mean to alarm you, but that bright shining ball of fire in the background *is* Nandor Guelmino.)

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the end of the world. Tonight’s last-ever Strikeforce event went from a championship triple-header to Squash City in a hurry, and it’s okay to feel depressed about it. (If you need somebody to talk to, call 1-888-BRO-TATO and one of our mental health professionals will be on the line shortly.)

On the main card this evening, Nate Marquardt puts his welterweight title on the line against Belgian standout Tarec Saffiedine, Daniel Cormier and Josh Barnett try not to shit the bed against their unheralded opponents, Gegard Mousasi returns from a long layoff to face Mike Kyle, and Ed Herman crosses the UFC/Strikeforce DMZ to bang with the always-dangerous Ronaldo “Jacare” Souza.

Like a spirit guide leading us from one realm of existence to the next, Jim Genia will be sticking round-by-round results from the “Marquardt vs. Saffiedine” Showtime broadcast after the jump, beginning at 10 p.m. ET. Make your voices heard in the comments section, and please, let’s honor this moment.

Please stand by…

“Like a spirit guide”? Is that a reference to my Native American heritage? Booyah, Jim Genia here, ready to deliver some tender hospice care to the terminally ill Strikeforce. But shed not a tear for its passing, as it lived a long, fruitful life.

Also, this past year Strikeforce kinda sucked.

Results from the prelims:

-Ryan Couture def. KJ Noons via Split Decision (29-28, 27-30, 29-28)

-Tim Kennedy def. Trevor Smith via Submission (Guillotine) at 1:36, R3

-Pat Healy def. Kurt Holobaugh via Unanimous Decision (29-28, 30-27, 30-27)

-Roger Gracie def. Anthony Smith via Submission (Arm-Triangle Choke) at 3:16, R2

-Adriano Martins def. Jorge Gurgel via Unanimous Decision (30-27, 29-28, 29-28)

-Estevan Payan def. Michael Bravo via TKO (Punches) at 4:01, R2

 

Strikeforce: Marquardt vs. Saffiedine — Live Results and Commentary


(I know what you’re thinking: Why the hell did they leave Nandor Guelmino off the poster? Well I don’t mean to alarm you, but that bright shining ball of fire in the background *is* Nandor Guelmino.)

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the end of the world. Tonight’s last-ever Strikeforce event went from a championship triple-header to Squash City in a hurry, and it’s okay to feel depressed about it. (If you need somebody to talk to, call 1-888-BRO-TATO and one of our mental health professionals will be on the line shortly.)

On the main card this evening, Nate Marquardt puts his welterweight title on the line against Belgian standout Tarec Saffiedine, Daniel Cormier and Josh Barnett try not to shit the bed against their unheralded opponents, Gegard Mousasi returns from a long layoff to face Mike Kyle, and Ed Herman crosses the UFC/Strikeforce DMZ to bang with the always-dangerous Ronaldo “Jacare” Souza.

Like a spirit guide leading us from one realm of existence to the next, Jim Genia will be sticking round-by-round results from the “Marquardt vs. Saffiedine” Showtime broadcast after the jump, beginning at 10 p.m. ET. Make your voices heard in the comments section, and please, let’s honor this moment.


(I know what you’re thinking: Why the hell did they leave Nandor Guelmino off the poster? Well I don’t mean to alarm you, but that bright shining ball of fire in the background *is* Nandor Guelmino.)

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the end of the world. Tonight’s last-ever Strikeforce event went from a championship triple-header to Squash City in a hurry, and it’s okay to feel depressed about it. (If you need somebody to talk to, call 1-888-BRO-TATO and one of our mental health professionals will be on the line shortly.)

On the main card this evening, Nate Marquardt puts his welterweight title on the line against Belgian standout Tarec Saffiedine, Daniel Cormier and Josh Barnett try not to shit the bed against their unheralded opponents, Gegard Mousasi returns from a long layoff to face Mike Kyle, and Ed Herman crosses the UFC/Strikeforce DMZ to bang with the always-dangerous Ronaldo “Jacare” Souza.

Like a spirit guide leading us from one realm of existence to the next, Jim Genia will be sticking round-by-round results from the “Marquardt vs. Saffiedine” Showtime broadcast after the jump, beginning at 10 p.m. ET. Make your voices heard in the comments section, and please, let’s honor this moment.

Please stand by…

“Like a spirit guide”? Is that a reference to my Native American heritage? Booyah, Jim Genia here, ready to deliver some tender hospice care to the terminally ill Strikeforce. But shed not a tear for its passing, as it lived a long, fruitful life.

Also, this past year Strikeforce kinda sucked.

Results from the prelims:

-Ryan Couture def. KJ Noons via Split Decision (29-28, 27-30, 29-28)

-Tim Kennedy def. Trevor Smith via Submission (Guillotine) at 1:36, R3

-Pat Healy def. Kurt Holobaugh via Unanimous Decision (29-28, 30-27, 30-27)

-Roger Gracie def. Anthony Smith via Submission (Arm-Triangle Choke) at 3:16, R2

-Adriano Martins def. Jorge Gurgel via Unanimous Decision (30-27, 29-28, 29-28)

-Estevan Payan def. Michael Bravo via TKO (Punches) at 4:01, R2

 

First bout of the main card: Jacare Souza vs. Ed Herman.

As a former Strikeforce middleweight champ who’d faced just about everyone worthwhile in what has traditionally been an anemic division, Souza literally had no one to dance with at this last Strikeforce event. Wat do?! Well, the options were to either put an ad on Craiglist or get someone from the UFC to slum it. Enter: TUF runner-up Herman, because, hey, why not.

Round 1: These two waste no time mixing it up, with Herman and Souza getting up close and personal against the cage and banging on each other with their fists. They separate, and when Herman lurches forward to re-engage, the Brazilian easily changes levels and takes him down. From his back, Herman furiously fires off upkicks to his opponent – which, uh, with Souza on his knees trying to pass the American’s guard, is pretty illegal. The referee stands them up, warns Herman but inexplicably does not dock him a point, and to add insult to injury, restarts them on the feet. No matter. Souza blasts Herman in the grill with a front kick, dumps him back onto the canvas, and nails the shoulder-busting kimura submission that has Herman tapping at 3:10 of the first round.

Jacare Souza def. Dave Herman via Submission (Kimura) at 3:10, R1

Next up, Mike Kyle vs. Gegard Mousasi.

Once upon a time, Kyle was a dude who’d fight you, bite you, and kick you in the head when you were on the ground. But after a lengthy suspension and possibly a readjustment of his psychotropic drug regimen, Kyle has returned a calmer, more mature competitor. Mousasi was once a Strikeforce light-heavyweight champ, a title he earned by virtue of his pinpoint-accurate boxing – and a title he lost by virtue of his dismal wrestling. So, yeah, good times.

Round 1: Kyle comes out headhunting, and Mousasi answers with some solid head-movement and a kick that slams into the American’s leg with a sound like a baseball bat slapping into a slab of meat. They trade more kicks and punches, and the former champ ducking low and grabbing Kyle around the waist. No takedown comes, so they separate and bang it out some more. With three minutes left, Mousasi gets the takedown, and on the ground he slowly but surely begins the prison rape that results in Kyle’s doom. First it’s side-control, then mount, then massive blows from above, and the end comes when Mousasi slips on the rear naked choke and forces Kyle to tap at 4:09 of the first round.

Gegard Mousasi def. Mike Kyle via Submission (Rear Naked Choke) at 4:09, R1

Next, Josh Barnett vs. Nandor Guelmino. 

Barnett was once a UFC champ before he pissed hot and had to give up the belt, yet he’s remained relevant throughout the years by kicking ass just about everywhere else. He of course fell short in Strikeforce’s much-maligned heavyweight grand prix, coming in second place to Daniel Cormier, but his opponent tonight is literally just some dude with a cool name and nothing else.

Round 1: It takes about all of nine seconds for Barnett to get Guelmino down. He spends a minute there, methodically dropping a forearm or two, then falls back into a heelhook attempt that Guelmino escapes from by getting back to his feet. The former UFC champ follows him up, clinches, and pulls him down, then slides into mount and deftly applies an arm-triangle choke. Guelmino taps out at 2:11, and we never hear from him again.

Josh Barnett def. Nandor Guelmino via Submission (Arm-Triangle Choke) at 2:11, R1

Next, Daniel Cormier vs. Dion Staring.

After winning the aforementioned heavyweight grand prix, Cormier is pretty much a lock on being someone of note in the UFC. But first he has to get through the always-dangerous Staring, who… who… Ah man, I can’t do it. I can’t lie to you. Staring is the only man on the planet not named Nando Guelmino who was dumb enough to agree to face a top-level heavyweight he has no business being in the cage with. So hold onto your hats, because this one might be ending with a deep voice declaring “Fatality!”

Round 1: Staring stands in front of Cormier with his hand outstretched, perhaps as some sort of gesture of peace or maybe a distraction. Cormier doesn’t fall for the trick, though, and nails him in the face with a high-kick. Seconds later Cormier tries a trip that Staring avoids, but the follow-up throw does it, and the number one heavyweight in Strikeforce scrambles around threatening his foe with a crucifix and an armbar. Staring escapes back to his feet, gets taken down again, escapes back to his feet, and gets taken down even more easily. From mount, Cormier simply batters him, and to the surprise of many, Staring makes it to the end of the round.

Round 2: Staring comes out aggressive, and is immediately stifled against the cage by Cormier’s far-superior wrestling. They break after a minute and Staring is huffing and puffing, and when they tie up, Cormier uses a textbook inside-trip to put his opponent down. Staring rolls and turtles, eats punches and rolls some more, all the while eating enough leather to choke a horse. Cormier is on him like white on rice no matter where he goes, and with the beating delivered nonstop and Staring’s defense nonexistent, referee John McCarthy is forced to step in at 4:02 of Round 2 lest Staring die.

Daniel Cormier def. Dion Staring via TKO (Punches) at 4:02, R2 

Next and final bout: Nate Marquardt vs. Tarec Saffiedine.

Marquardt was always the bridesmaid but never the bride in his tenure with the UFC, but when he showed up at Strikeforce’s doorstep and had a stellar performance against Tyron Woodley, he was suddenly a man with a championship belt. Saffiedine has been a top contender in the organization for a while, and his keen striking and Team Quest-honed wrestling should make for a nice little scrap in this main event.

Round 1: It takes 30 seconds for one of these guys to break their steady circling and land something, and it’s a fast kick to the thigh by Saffiedine. They circle some more, and Marquardt lands kicks of his own. It’s pretty much tit-for-tat, until the champ comes forward, eats a punch and drops to a knee for a split second. Saffiedine attempts to capitalize, yet he’s met with a takedown attempt, and when he stuffs it and they separate, one thing is clear: the challenger is faster and crisper with his strikes. Perhaps cognizant of that fact, Marquardt makes sure the rest of the round is spent clinching against the fence.

Round 2: Like the opening of the first, they start off this round circling, and after a minute expires Marquardt goes for a takedown. He doesn’t get that one, but gets the next one 30 seconds later. Saffiedine pops right up, and Marquardt resumes trying to push the Belgian fighter through the fence like he’s a piece of cheese on a grater. Referee McCarthy gets sick of the man-huggery after a bit and pulls them apart, and Saffiedine continues to chips away at his foe with lightning-like leg-kicks. The horn sounds with Marquardt looking like he’s shook.

Round 3: Saffiedine continues on with his mission to turn Marquardt’s leg into hamburger, so of course Marquardt tries hug him to death against the cage (with varying levels of success). They make some space and Saffiedine walks forward covering up but coiled like a cobra, and Marquardt attempts a flying knee that really does nothing. The two bang on each other a bit, Marquardt with punches and Saffiedine with his kicks, and the horn sounds with the champ going for a fruitless takedown attempt.

Round 4: Marquardt’s thigh is a bright shade of purple, and Saffiedine resumes chopping it to bits. The champ turns up the heat with his punches, yet each successive shin to his leg threatens to crumble him. Marquardt changes tact and tries to catch those kicks, but to no avail, and from the punching exchanges he ends up with blood on his face. It is almost all Saffiedine at this point.

Round 5: The limb destruction continues, and to show he’s got other tricks, Saffiedine throws a sweet question mark-kick that Marquardt barely dodges. They end up grinding against the cage for a bit, then separate and kickbox – an endeavor that the Belgian striker cannot lose. With 45 seconds to go, Saffiedine flips the script and nails a takedown, and finishes the round beating on Marquardt from above. There is no doubt he’s got the unanimous decision in the bag when all is said and done.

Tarec Saffiedine def. Nate Marquardt via Unanimous Decision (48-47, 49-46, 49-46)

That’s all she wrote, folks. Have a nice night. Or don’t. I don’t care.