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War Machine’s Big House Blog Number Three: Murderers, Moonshine and Mexican Mr. Magoo

("Screw you, society. Jail ain’t so bad after all.")
Considering I also picked Chael Sonnen to win Saturday night, I got an eerily similar empty feeling when I read War Machine’s latest "Big House Blog" and learned that my proclam…

("Screw you, society. Jail ain’t so bad after all.")

Considering I also picked Chael Sonnen to win Saturday night, I got an eerily similar empty feeling when I read War Machine’s latest "Big House Blog" and learned that my proclamation that he wouldn’t get through three weeks without getting into some kind of tomfoolery didn’t come to fruition.

I thought for sure that alcohol+War Machine = spitbag and handcuffs, but apparently the fighter formerly known as Jon Koppenhaver has matured behind bars and instead of scrapping anyone and everyone after consuming his IQ in Jagerbombs, he has taken to sipping his toilet wine while engaging in stimulating conversation with murderous Somalian Muslims.

Who knew jail would have such a good influence on War?

War Machine’s Big House Blog Number Two: Scrabble, Sex Deprivation and Sage Advice

(Scrabble? I pictured War Machine as more of a Tiddly Winks kind of guy.) Well, War Machine got through his second week in the clink without any controversy, which is nearly as surprising as Paulo Filho making it to his scheduled Impact FC appe…

(Scrabble? I pictured War Machine as more of a Tiddly Winks kind of guy.)

Well, War Machine got through his second week in the clink without any controversy, which is nearly as surprising as Paulo Filho making it to his scheduled Impact FC appearance.

Other than getting ripped off for his phone credits, Machine’s week, which mostly consisted of reading and taking advice from convicted felons, was relatively serene, but considering he has 50 weeks remaining in his one-year sentence, we’re not holding our collective breath that things won’t go sideways at some point in the near future.

War Machine Survives First Week in Prison, Hopes to Avoid ‘Lame Drama’

("It’s not you, homey, I was just thinking of something funny that happened earlier." Photo courtesy of Sherdog)
Thanks to his most recent bar brawl, former UFC fighter War Machine has been keepin’ it real in San Diego Central Jail since Ju…

("It’s not you, homey, I was just thinking of something funny that happened earlier." Photo courtesy of Sherdog)

Thanks to his most recent bar brawl, former UFC fighter War Machine has been keepin’ it real in San Diego Central Jail since July 16th, where he’ll be stuck for a year. (Or less, with good behavior. So probably about a year.) Luckily, that won’t stop the adult film star from updating his fans about his life and observations. Relaying messages to a friend on the outside, Machine was able to send out the following missive late last night. From WarMachine170 via MissRARA:

What’s up guys!? I’m gonna do a weekly blog for this year while I’m locked up. Just want to keep y’all posted and give you some insight on what it’s like here for me. When I first got here I was told I was gonna be kept in segregation to pretect myself since I’m a "celebrity." I told them NO WAY! 23 hours a day lockdown? FUCK THAT! So they stuck me in the "mainline." They classified me a 5 on a scale 1-6 so I’m with the big dogs. Everyone here has been to prison. Few guys in my unit are murderers waiting to be shipped out to prison for life. Funny, kinda odd, but they are the most friendly of the bunch… Most intelligent too. Hardest thing about this place is finding people you can have a decent conversation with.

Falling Action: Best and Worst of the Weekend That Was

Filed under: DREAMThere may not have been a UFC or Strikeforce event this weekend, but that doesn’t mean that there weren’t still plenty of people punching, kicking, and choking each other all around the world.

Some of them might have required you to…

Filed under: DREAM

There may not have been a UFC or Strikeforce event this weekend, but that doesn’t mean that there weren’t still plenty of people punching, kicking, and choking each other all around the world.

Some of them might have required you to set the DVR or wake up at odd hours, and others might not be available on video at all just yet, but the point is some stuff happened. In order to give that stuff its due respect, we now take a look back at the weekend’s action to examine who the big winners and losers are this Monday afternoon.

Couldn’t Happen to a Nicer Guy Alert: War Machine Choked Out in Final Fight Before Jail Stint

(Life ain’t always easy for a “true Alpha male.” The world is so chock-full of motherfuckers just begging you to punch them in the face that sometimes it’s hard to keep a clear head. Pic Props: Sherdog)
If you followed War Machi…

If you followed War Machine’s various Twitter ramblings during the last couple of weeks, you had to fear the worst for Our Hero in his fight with John Alessio at Tachi Palace Fights 5 on Friday. There was way too much tweeting about boozing, pill popping and hopes for impending civil war going on for War to be truly focused on training. Not to mention that next week he’s due to report for a one year stay in the San Diego County sneezer for violating his probation in a self-described “lame bar fight.”

Friday Night Link Dump: War Machine Is Going to Jail, You Guys

(Forget Randy Couture and fancy gym equipment; Shane Carwin trains in the desert…the fucking desert!) – War Machine Tweets that he’s going to the big house for a year (Twitlonger)
– Scott Coker says Jake Shields’s self-perceived value isn’t real…

(Forget Randy Couture and fancy gym equipment; Shane Carwin trains in the desert…the fucking desert!)

– War Machine Tweets that he’s going to the big house for a year (Twitlonger)

– Scott Coker says Jake Shields’s self-perceived value isn’t realistic(MMAFighting)

– CP contributing blogger/fighter Rich Attonito talks wanting to smash Yager’s face Saturday night (MMAJunkie)

– Video footage of War Machine’s bar brawl (MiddleEasy)

– Strikeforce: Fedor vs. Werdum conference call notes (Heavy)

– UFC 115 hat stealer makes ESPN’s "Not Top 10 List (MMAJunkie)

– 25 horrible fake tans (Break)

– ‘Scarface’ in 50 seconds (ScreenJunkies)

– Best American wives and girlfriends (WAGS) (Chickipedia)

– British model Daisy Lowe pics (HolyTaco)

– Need to know home improvement tips (MadeMan)

– LOL race pics (AllLeftTurns)

– Medal of Honour trailer (FileFront)

– Unearthly cleavage (Ebaumsworld)