Tag: WMMA

Hold the Phone: Ronda Rousey’s Manager Refutes Alleged UFC Signing


(“Woah woah, Ronda, slow down. You can’t just waltz in off the street and demand to be in our crew. Fact is, you can’t join until you go through initiation.”) 

As us bloggers are apt to do when a pretty girl walks into the room, it looks like we may have prematurely shot our wad when we broke the historic news that Ronda Rousey had become the first woman to ever sign with the UFC. That’s correct, you’ve now read two semen-related puns in a row. And it’s only Monday. Anyway, Rousey’s manager recently spoke with ESPN to refute the claims:

“Right now, nothing has changed,” says Darin Harvey of Fight Tribe, noting that Rousey is in Las Vegas to fly with the Thunderbirds, the Air Force demonstration squadron, and not to sign a UFC contract.


(“Woah woah, Ronda, slow down. You can’t just waltz in off the street and demand to be in our crew. Fact is, you can’t join until you go through initiation.”) 

As us bloggers are apt to do when a pretty girl walks into the room, it looks like we may have prematurely shot our wad when we broke the historic news that Ronda Rousey had become the first woman to ever sign with the UFC. That’s correct, you’ve now read two semen-related puns in a row. And it’s only Monday. Anyway, Rousey’s manager recently spoke with ESPN to refute the claims:

“Right now, nothing has changed,” says Darin Harvey of Fight Tribe, noting that Rousey is in Las Vegas to fly with the Thunderbirds, the Air Force demonstration squadron, and not to sign a UFC contract.

While reports still indicate that Strikeforce will in fact be folding after their January 12th event, this is undeniably an interesting turn of events in the case of the supposed first UFC women’s champ. Although it did seem a little out of the blue when the news broke in the first place, you have to wonder if perhaps the UFC was hoping to keep things quiet until they made a formal announcement at a future event and simply let things slip through the cracks.

Adding to the confusion, Miesha Tate also announced via Twitter that she had joined the UFC, but then again, Tate also refuted the claims that she was hosting web chats with her fans, then immediately tweeted that she was in fact hosting web chats with her fans. Combine all that with DW’s well known history of tomfoolery and you’ll find yourself between a rock and a hard place, which is where this story currently lies.

But if I could take off my blogger suspenders and put on my conspiracy theorist tacktleneck for a moment, I would suggest that we should possibly watch UFC 154 with vested interest for an announcement of this magnitude. Dana White has yet to refute or confirm the rumors, and somehow managed to come off as both smug and coy by texting only an emoticon on his Twitter when the news broke. And as well all know, silent Dana is the most unpredictable Dana, so expect a major announcement on the horizon. Until then…Skyfall, anyone?

–J. Jones

Knockout of the Day: Sheila Bird Sleeps Christina Barry in Just 11 Seconds at AFC 12


(Put her in a body bag! No seriously, could someone please dispose of that corpse as quickly as possible? I’m starting to feel queasy.) 

No, that is not a screenshot from The Ring, that is the aftermath of the last time we saw Sheila Bird compete in this thing we call MMA. It took place back in July of 2011 against Kim Couture, and using the combination of a leg scissor choke and some of the worst referee negligence this side of Marius Zaromskis vs. Andrey Koreshkov, Bird not only came away with the win, but provided one photographer with the opportunity to stare into the fleeting remnants of Couture’s soul before she stole it. It was the first documented case of Shang Tsunging in WMMA history.

What are we going on about? Well, Ms. Bird stepped back into the octagon last weekend, and although the end result was nearly as horrific for her victim this time out, it was equally as decisive. Bird needed just 11 seconds to pack Christina Barry’s lunch and jam it down her throat brown bag and all at AFC 12 on Friday, so head after the jump to check out the brutal finish.


(Put her in a body bag! No seriously, could someone please dispose of that corpse as quickly as possible? I’m starting to feel queasy.) 

No, that is not a screenshot from The Ring, that is the aftermath of the last time we saw Sheila Bird compete in this thing we call MMA. It took place back in July of 2011 against Kim Couture, and using the combination of a leg scissor choke and some of the worst referee negligence this side of Marius Zaromskis vs. Andrey Koreshkov, Bird not only came away with the win, but provided one photographer with the opportunity to stare into the fleeting remnants of Couture’s soul before she stole it. It was the first documented case of Shang Tsunging in WMMA history.

What are we going on about? Well, Ms. Bird stepped back into the octagon last weekend, and although the end result was nearly as horrific for her victim this time out, it was equally as decisive. Bird needed just 11 seconds to pack Christina Barry’s lunch and jam it down her throat brown bag and all at AFC 12 on Friday, so head after the jump to check out the brutal finish.

First off, Barry should’ve known she was in trouble the moment “Surfin’ Bird” came over the speakers. You see that, Andrei? THAT is how you incorporate your name/nickname into a song correctly; you stick with the classics. Now get back in the studio and find something that wouldn’t make Patrice Wilson blush.

Anyway, skip to the 6:10 mark for the beginning of the fight, then see how much work you can get done on that damned Penske file before it ends. My guess is none. With the win, Bird improved to 3-0 as a pro with all three wins coming by first round stoppage.

*cough* InvictaFC, anyone? *cough* 

–J. Jones

Heads Up, Gamblers: Ronda Rousey Is Already Favored to Beat Cris Cyborg in Their Fantasyland Matchup


(If you are implying that this photo has anything to do with odds…you’re probably right.) 

You’ve gotta love the kind of needless analysis and ridiculous speculation that the Internet era has brought to modern sports. Despite the fact that the Ronda Rousey vs. Cristiane Cyborg fight is still trapped in MMA purgatory, the mere possibility of the matchup is apparently enough for several gambling sites around the MMA blogosphere to start laying out the betting lines for what could be the biggest fight in WMMA history. If it ever happens.

Currently, the women’s bantamweight champion is listed between a -160 to -170 favorite over the former featherweight champ on various sports gambling sites. Sure, Cristiane hasn’t fought in nearly a year since she was stripped of her title for a positive steroids test, and Ronda hasn’t met a challenger with anywhere near the kind of devastating knockout power that Cyborg possesses, but who are we to judge the motives of our cyber-bookie overlords?


(If you are implying that this photo has anything to do with odds…you’re probably right.) 

You’ve gotta love the kind of needless analysis and ridiculous speculation that the Internet era has brought to modern sports. Despite the fact that the Ronda Rousey vs. Cristiane Cyborg fight is still trapped in MMA purgatory, the mere possibility of the matchup is apparently enough for several gambling sites around the MMA blogosphere to start laying out the betting lines for what could be the biggest fight in WMMA history. If it ever happens.

Currently, the women’s bantamweight champion is listed between a -160 to -170 favorite over the former featherweight champ on various sports gambling sites. Sure, Cristiane hasn’t fought in nearly a year since she was stripped of her title for a positive steroids test, and Ronda hasn’t met a challenger with anywhere near the kind of devastating knockout power that Cyborg possesses, but who are we to judge the motives of our cyber-bookie overlords?

There is also the fact that Strikeforce might not even be around to host the fight when Cyborg’s suspension is lifted, but we have a feeling a certain brash, bald gentleman will be more than willing to oversee things in their absence. The question is, will the UFC be able to top the kind of sexified promos that Strikeforce was able to churn out? Now that Cyborg has devoted her free time to prettying herself up, we would almost be willing to play along with th…

…I’m sorry, I couldn’t even finish typing that sentence without bursting into laughter. Then vomiting. So what do you think of these odds, Potato Nation? Are they on point? Off base? Who gives a flying fuck? It’s a slow news day, so pity us and don’t pick the obvious one.

Sort of Related: It fills us with great sorrow to inform you that the story we ran yesterday about Miesha Tate hosting “members only” webcam chats for the low, low price of $4.99 has indeed been proven false. Tate informed us via Twitter that the website is a fraud, so if any of you have already signed up for it, you can probably expect a Nigerian sex slave in the mail any day now. Not a total loss if you ask me.

–J. Jones

Quote of the Day: Dana White Says Women’s MMA is “Absolutely Going to Happen” in the UFC


(Let’s just say that Cristiane has a way of “convincing” men to do what she wants. We won’t give away the secret, but it involves a garden hose, a tub of creamed corn, a circus midget, and a LOT of tears.) 

What a difference one year (and a smokin’ hot champion) can make.

Over the past few months, we’ve seen UFC President Dana White pull a 180 on such topics as TRT, fights that “make sense,” and most importantly, women’s MMA. Where less than a year ago, Dana could be quoted as saying that we would “never” see women in the UFC — unless they were informing us what round it is, of course — nowadays, his attitude seems to have shifted in the opposite direction. This could partially be due to the success of such smaller promotions as InvictaFC, but is more a result of Dana’s budding fascination with Ronda Rousey, who he has referred to as “unique,” “a Diaz brother,” and “a f*cking dude trapped in this beautiful body.” We’re not sure how he would consider the second quality to be all that endearing, but needless to say, The Baldfather recently informed Sports Illustrated that WMMA is on its way to the UFC:

It’s absolutely going to happen.

[It] could happen tomorrow, it could happen a year from now.

We’ve just heard word that Scott Coker has hung himself.


(Let’s just say that Cristiane has a way of “convincing” men to do what she wants. We won’t give away the secret, but it involves a garden hose, a tub of creamed corn, a circus midget, and a LOT of tears.) 

What a difference one year (and a smokin’ hot champion) can make.

Over the past few months, we’ve seen UFC President Dana White pull a 180 on such topics as TRT, fights that “make sense,” and most importantly, women’s MMA. Where less than a year ago, Dana could be quoted as saying that we would “never” see women in the UFC – unless they were informing us what round it is, of course — nowadays, his attitude seems to have shifted in the opposite direction. This could partially be due to the success of such smaller promotions as InvictaFC, but is more a result of Dana’s budding fascination with Ronda Rousey, who he has referred to as “unique,” “a Diaz brother,” and “a f*cking dude trapped in this beautiful body.” We’re not sure how he would consider the second quality to be all that endearing, but needless to say, The Baldfather recently informed Sports Illustrated that WMMA is on its way to the UFC:

It’s absolutely going to happen.

[It] could happen tomorrow, it could happen a year from now.

We’ve just heard word that Scott Coker has hung himself.

In all seriousness, this is undoubtedly a great piece of news for female MMA fighters, especially those under the Strikforce banner who could find themselves out of work in under a year’s time. The question now becomes: Just how long will it be until we see DW attempt a power grab on InvictaFC, or tries to sign one of their most popular fighters mere seconds after their contract has expired?

Of course, both Ronda and the opponent everyone wants to see her fight, Cris Cyborg, have been battling over what weight class the fight would be held at, with neither side willing to budge an inch, but something tells us DW will use everything in his power to convince one of the two otherwise.

Time will tell.

–J. Jones

Knockout of the Day: A WMMA, First-Punch, Falling Tree Trifecta of Awesome

(Props to MMAFighting for the find. The fight starts/ends at the 45 second mark.)

Yesterday’s knockout of the day featured a poor sap who was simply unprepared to deal with his opponent’s Rockette-esque strategy of starting the show with a high kick. And while today’s victim was lucky enough to make it through her opponent’s first kick intact, she completely forgot to follow the most basic rule of fighting: Always keep your hands up. This mental error would prove most detrimental to her 1-0 record as a professional fighter.

Someone grab a spatula.

–J. Jones


(Props to MMAFighting for the find. The fight starts/ends at the 45 second mark.)

Yesterday’s knockout of the day featured a poor sap who was simply unprepared to deal with his opponent’s Rockette-esque strategy of starting the show with a high kick. And while today’s victim was lucky enough to make it through her opponent’s first kick intact, she completely forgot to follow the most basic rule of fighting: Always keep your hands up. This mental error would prove most detrimental to her 1-0 record as a professional fighter.

Someone grab a spatula.

–J. Jones

Invicta FC 3 Recap and Videos: Penne Becomes Inaugural Atomweight Champ, Baszler Thrashes D’Alelio

(Joanne Calderwood vs. Ashley Cummins. Fight starts at the 1:35 mark. Someone nearly shits their pants around the 4:45 mark.)

Over the past several months, we’ve heard a lot of hoopla regarding the plight of women’s MMA and the lighter weight classes in general. According to some self-proclaimed experts, these fighters stand next to no chance of providing exciting finishes because of their “frail bones” and their “cabbage fingers” and their “lady parts that prevent them from committing gruesome acts of beautiful violence.” And while it should be noted that I normally obtain most of this expert testimony during my weekly NO MA’AM meetings, I must admit that the ladies of Invicta Fighting Championships are pretty much shattering every pre-conceived notion that one could have when approaching women’s MMA or the lighter weight classes. Last weekend’s Invicta FC 3 event did not stray far from the pattern established by the first two events, which is to say, it delivered exciting fights and brutal finishes from top to bottom.

In the evening’s main event, submission specialist and general hottie Jessica Penne made history by becoming the promotion’s first champion in the atomweight class, controlling the previously number one ranked atomweight Naho Sugiyama easily before submitting her midway through the second round with a slick triangle choke. Penne improved to 10-1 as a professional with the win and likely set up a showdown between herself and “The Karate Hottie” Michelle Waterson, who picked up a hard fought split-decision win over Lacey Schuckman earlier in the evening, down the line. I’m not saying I will be watching that fight with ulterior motives, but I am saying that I will be watching it alone. With the curtains closed. With no pants on.

After the jump: A boatload of fight videos from the event, including Shayna Baszler’s domination of Sarah D’Alelio, Stephanie Frausto’s lightning quick submission over Amy Davis, and Julia Budd’s brutal beatdown of Danielle West.


(Joanne Calderwood vs. Ashley Cummins. Fight starts at the 1:35 mark. Someone nearly shits their pants around the 4:45 mark.)

Over the past several months, we’ve heard a lot of hoopla regarding the plight of women’s MMA and the lighter weight classes in general. According to some self-proclaimed experts, these fighters stand next to no chance of providing exciting finishes because of their “frail bones” and their “cabbage fingers” and their “lady parts that prevent them from committing gruesome acts of beautiful violence.” And while it should be noted that I normally obtain most of this expert testimony during my weekly NO MA’AM meetings, I must admit that the ladies of Invicta Fighting Championships are pretty much shattering every pre-conceived notion that one could have when approaching women’s MMA or the lighter weight classes. Last weekend’s Invicta FC 3 event did not stray far from the pattern established by the first two events, which is to say, it delivered exciting fights and brutal finishes from top to bottom.

In the evening’s main event, submission specialist and general hottie Jessica Penne made history by becoming the promotion’s first champion in the atomweight class, controlling the previously number one ranked atomweight Naho Sugiyama easily before submitting her midway through the second round with a slick triangle choke. Penne improved to 10-1 as a professional with the win and likely set up a showdown between herself and “The Karate Hottie” Michelle Waterson, who picked up a hard fought split-decision win over Lacey Schuckman earlier in the evening, down the line. I’m not saying I will be watching that fight with ulterior motives, but I am saying that I will be watching it alone. With the curtains closed. With no pants on.

She may have only improved her record to an even .500 on Saturday night, but the little sister of Zoila Gurgel did not waste anytime establishing herself as a legitimate threat in the atomweight division with a quick guillotine victory over Amy Davis. From the opening bell this one was all Frausto, who rushed across the cage and started hurling leather like she was running late for her own funeral. After securing an easy trip takedown, Frausto peppered Davis up with shots, latched on a tight guillotine, and it was good night, Irene.

God, I hate myself for using that phrase. I’m going to chalk this one up to the lack of an edit button.

Julia Budd has suffered perhaps the two most brutal losses that any professional athlete ever could. In her second Strikeforce Challengers appearance, Budd was hammerfisted into oblivion by Amanda Nunes in just 14 seconds. Two fights later, she became Ronda Rousey armbar victim number #4. Needless to say, the woman has been through some tough times. But it’s good to see that she can take it as well as she can dish it out, because she may very well have beaten the last remaining fucks given out of Danielle “The Honey Badger” West in their main card-opening bout. The first couple minutes were mainly held in the clinch as the two ladies jockeyed for position, but as soon as Budd managed to get the fight to the ground, elbows and fists fell like buckets of paint in a Home Alone movie. The end came shortly thereafter, and Budd finally managed to end up on the right side of a highlight reel.

In the evening’s co-main event, Strikeforce veteran Shayna Baszler opened an entire case of whoop ass on Sarah D’Alelio, utilizing her superior ground game to constantly threaten D’Alelio with submissions from the top. Though D’Alelio would gamely defend her attempts for the entirety of the first round, she would fall victim to a rear-naked choke early in the second. Although the finish was nice, my personal favorite moment of the fight came with 10 seconds remaining in the first round, wherein Bazler delivered some of the most painful looking stomps to the Achilles tendon that you will ever see. Lordy.

We’ve posted the videos of the Waterson/Schuckman, Porto/LaRosa, and Young/Smith II fights along with the full results below. If you’re interested in checking out all of the fights from last weekend, head over to MMAWeekly for a full rundown.

Michelle Waterson vs. Lacey Schuckman

Tara Larosa vs. Vanessa Porto

Kaitlin Young vs. Leslie Smith II

Full Results
Jessica Penne def. Naho Sugiyama by submission (triangle) at 2:20 of round 2
Shayna Bazler def. Sarah D’Alelio by submission (RNC) at 0:48 of round 2
Leslie Smith def. Kaitlin Young by referee stoppage (mounted crucifix) at 2:19 of round 2
Barb Honchak def. Aisling Daly by unanimous decision
Vanessa Porto def. Tara LaRosa by unanimous decision
Cat Zingano def. Raquel Pennington by submission (RNC) at 3:32 of round 2
Michelle Waterson def. Lacey Schuckman by split decision
Julia Budd def. Danielle West by TKO at 2:32 of round one
Carla Esparza def. Lynn Alvarez by TKO at 2:53 of round one
Joanne Calderwood def. Ashley Cummins by KO (knee to body) at 3:13 of round one
Stephanie Frausto def. Amy Davis by submission (guillotine) at 0:48 of round one
Jessamyn Duke def. Marciea Allen by submission (armbar) at 4:42 of round one
Tecia Torres def. Kaiyana Rain by unanimous decision
Ediene Gomes def. Katalina Malungahu by submission (rear naked choke) at 4:19 of round one

–J. Jones