Tag: WTF video of the day

Today in WTF?!!: Chris Weidman, Forrest Griffin Pimp Jewelry Stores and DUI Defense in Hilariously Awkward Commercials


(“OK Chris, for this scene, we’re going to need you to act as if you’re reading your lines directly from a cue card. Just look as uninterested as humanly possible and stare as far off-screen as you can. And Marivi, if you could just stare directly at the guy holding the boom mic-PERFECT.”)

It really is difficult to believe anything you see or read on April Fool’s day. Just this morning, a friend of mine who happens to be a traveling musician posted that his band had booked a gig as John Mayer’s opening act for his upcoming Australian tour. After congratulating him on his tremendous accomplishment, I quickly learned that the whole thing was a ploy perpetuated for Facebook likes. Needless to say, he is now dead to me.

Needless to say, I was equally skeptical when videos of Chris Weidman and Forrest Griffin pimping a jewelry store and a DUI defense lawyer, respectively, appeared in my inbox this afternoon. But upon further research (dialing both phone numbers and laughing hysterically until the receptionists hung up), I have determined that what you are about to see are in fact legitimate ads featuring the current middleweight and former light heavyweight champion, which is easily more hilarious than any April Fool’s day joke you will be privy to today or possibly ever.

After the jump you will find videos of both ads, as well as our in-depth analysis of both fighters performances, complete with screengrabs.


(“OK Chris, for this scene, we’re going to need you to act as if you’re reading your lines directly from a cue card. Just look as uninterested as humanly possible and stare as far off-screen as you can. And Marivi, if you could just stare directly at the guy holding the boom mic-PERFECT.”)

It really is difficult to believe anything you see or read on April Fool’s day. Just this morning, a friend of mine who happens to be a traveling musician posted that his band had booked a gig as John Mayer’s opening act for his upcoming Australian tour. After congratulating him on his tremendous accomplishment, I quickly learned that the whole thing was a ploy perpetuated for Facebook likes. Needless to say, he is now dead to me.

Needless to say, I was equally skeptical when videos of Chris Weidman and Forrest Griffin pimping a jewelry store and a DUI defense lawyer, respectively, appeared in my inbox this afternoon. But upon further research (dialing both phone numbers and laughing hysterically until the receptionists hung up), I have determined that what you are about to see are in fact legitimate ads featuring the current middleweight and former light heavyweight champion, which is easily more hilarious than any April Fool’s day joke you will be privy to today or possibly ever.

After the jump you will find videos of both ads, as well as our in-depth analysis of both fighters performances, complete with screengrabs.

“The Jewelry Gallery of Oyster Bay” – Chris Weidman

Also featuring UFC lightweight, TUF 15 alum and fellow Long Islander Al Iaquinta, we must give the creative minds behind a jewelry store in Nassau County, NY credit for having the balls to commit to this atrocious ad, and more specifically, the play on words between an MMA “ring” (not what it’s called) and a wedding “ring.” Seriously, I would be applauding them if I hadn’t just severed both my hands in the feat that they may one day write something so hamfisted.

Did the people who created this ad even understand that UFC fighters compete in an octagon? Or that choosing an (albeit local) MMA fighter as the spokesperson for a jewelry store in a town where the average income is nearly $100,000 might not make a whole lot of sense? Where is the turnover between Affliction-wearing, Long Island dude-bro MMA fans and high-end jewelry clientele, exactly? So many questions.

One thing’s for sure: Like Randy Couture and Ronda Rousey before him, Chris Weidman is an MMA star destined for Hollywood. See for yourself:


GAHHHHACTING!!!!

And now, buckle up for this one…

“Top Gun DUI Defense Attorney Myles L. Berman” – Forrest Griffin

If the purpose of Griffin’s appearance in this ad was to serve as an intimidating presence for the serious issue that is weaseling your way out of a drunk-driving offense, then it failed miserably. Not only does Griffin come off as a far more likeable and trustworthy guy than Berman, but he also loses all of his badass credibility the moment he tips his trucker hat like a cowboy cordially greeting a woman of the town proper.

And besides, if this Berman fellow really wanted to scare us into seeking his services, he more than accomplished that with his dead-eyed stare and “I’m totally not a robot disguised in a human skin suit” mannerisms. I mean, just look at those things:

Take it away, Dr. Loomis…

Final Tallies
Creativity: Weidman’s ad, sadly
Acting: Griffin all day
Intensity: NEED I SHOW YOU BERMAN’S EYES AGAIN?!

Winner: Griffin’s DUI ad by a hair. It may never reach the heights of Wanderlei Silva and Mark Coleman’s epic Schick ad, but it’s something.

–J. Jones

‘WTF?’ Video of the Day: Musangwe Fighter Gets KO’d, Is Given Furious Handjob CPR

(Props: Musangwe. Kinda NSFW)

“In Musangwe it is believed that stimulating the male sexual organs after a knockout increases their chances of surviving.”

This bit of folksy medical wisdom comes from the video description of “MUSANGWE KNOCKOUT- MOST DARING CPR!“, which just came to our attention this morning even though it’s been floating around for few days. (Apologies if you’ve already seen it; we were pretty much off the grid over New Year’s Eve/New Year’s Day. So…2014, eh? How ’bout that.)

As Gawker explains, Musangwe “is a form of bare-knuckle fist fighting traditionally practiced by the Venda people of South Africa.” And apparently, the rough, frantic handjob that the knockout-victim receives in the video isn’t punishment for losing — they’re trying to save his life. Still, once you add in the water-bucket it starts to look like an especially brutal fraternity hazing. I don’t know, man. There’s got to be an easier way.

My theory: At a certain point, that dude was just pretending to be asleep.


(Props: Musangwe. Kinda NSFW)

“In Musangwe it is believed that stimulating the male sexual organs after a knockout increases their chances of surviving.”

This bit of folksy medical wisdom comes from the video description of “MUSANGWE KNOCKOUT- MOST DARING CPR!“, which just came to our attention this morning even though it’s been floating around for few days. (Apologies if you’ve already seen it; we were pretty much off the grid over New Year’s Eve/New Year’s Day. So…2014, eh? How ’bout that.)

As Gawker explains, Musangwe “is a form of bare-knuckle fist fighting traditionally practiced by the Venda people of South Africa.” And apparently, the rough, frantic handjob that the knockout-victim receives in the video isn’t punishment for losing — they’re trying to save his life. Still, once you add in the water-bucket it starts to look like an especially brutal fraternity hazing. I don’t know, man. There’s got to be an easier way.

My theory: At a certain point, that dude was just pretending to be asleep.

‘WTF?!’ of the Day: Anthony Pettis Has an Evil Twin, Y’all

(Props to fox6now.com for the story, and props to CagePotato reader Jason Seward for the tip.)

On Wednesday, Milwaukee news stations were reporting that Anthony Pettis had been apprehended by police after he was seen at a press conference on television. Pettis had been wanted for several pending charges, ranging from carrying a concealed weapon to getting involved in a high-speed chase with a police officer.

So why weren’t MMA sites all over the news? Because it wasn’t Anthony Pettis, lightweight title contender, but rather, Anthony Pettis, a younger, fatter nobody who also resides in Milwaukee. Yeah, turns out that guy was on tv to talk about, well, you’ll see.

It’s a damn slow news day, and the story itself is worth a quick read, so check it out after the jump, courtesy of FOX6 Now:


(Props to fox6now.com for the story, and props to CagePotato reader Jason Seward for the tip.)

On Wednesday, Milwaukee news stations were reporting that Anthony Pettis had been apprehended by police after he was seen at a press conference on television. Pettis had been wanted for several pending charges, ranging from carrying a concealed weapon to getting involved in a high-speed chase with a police officer.

So why weren’t MMA sites all over the news? Because it wasn’t Anthony Pettis, lightweight title contender, but rather, Anthony Pettis, a younger, fatter nobody who also resides in Milwaukee. Yeah, turns out that guy was on tv to talk about, well, you’ll see.

It’s a damn slow news day, and the story itself is worth a quick read, so check it out after the jump, courtesy of FOX6 Now:

MILWAUKEE (WITI) — Anthony Pettis had been wanted by police for almost three months before they finally spotted him during a press conference on television.

Pettis made a public appearance in front of FOX6 cameras to discuss why he is suing the City of Milwaukee and Milwaukee police officers, claiming he was a victim of illegal cavity searches. One officer is already serving more than two years in prison for the illegal searches. Another has plead guilty and two more officers are awaiting trial.

Court records show Pettis has several pending charges including a high speed chase with a police officer, resisting an officer, carrying a concealed weapon, and bail jumping. Another man claims Pettis robbed him at gunpoint.

Just a week after FOX6 News highlighted Pettis’ civil suit, Milwaukee Police say they spotted the suspect at the Economy Inn on Appleton Ave. Pettis was apprehended along with a gun that was found hidden in a toilet and drugs stashed in a car.

Authorities say more charges could be on the way for Pettis, however the charges will not affect the civil suit against the City. Pettis is scheduled to appear in court next week.

Not sure I’d hold a press conference to share the gruesome details of an illegal cavity search – especially if I was wanted by police in the first place – but to each his own, I guess.

I wonder if Sergio Pettis has an evil twin, too.

@SethFalvo

WTF?! Video of the Day: Michael Schiavello Just Cannot Stop Talking About His Anus, You Guys

Upon doing a little research, we have discovered that longtime MMA announcer Michael “Good Night Irene” Schiavello is from some place called Australia. Awwstraileeyah. We’ve never heard of it either, but what you should know is that folks who hail from this…AUSTRALIA, tend to have funny-sounding voices. Not funny in a German nihilist kind of way, but funny nonetheless. At last Friday’s RFA 7 event, we found out that Schiavello’s accent becomes particularly amusing when attempting to pronounce the name of young fighter Danny Mainus.

You see, Mainus sounds a bit like “my anus,” you dig? It’s a fact that becomes quite humorous when Schiavello says things like “There’s a cut on Mainus,” or “Mainus is ready to pounce here.” And while this kind of humor might not be up your alley if you have moved on from the 8th grade, well, you’re probably not in our target audience anyway. So check out the video above and rate it on a comedic scale of Zookeeper to The Big Lebowski in the comments section, with Zookeeper obviously being on the upper end of the spectrum. When Kevin James started talking to that monkey, you guys, I totally roflcoptered. I roflcoptered all over myself.

Now piss off, because I need to finish writing this note to pass to Patty Nelson in chemistry class (more like phlegmistry class, amiright? *receives high fives from everyone at the cool kids lunch table*) to see if she’ll go with me to the Spring semi-formal. If she denies me, I’ll just tell Tony T and Space Face Mike that she has herpes anyway.

–J. Jones

Upon doing a little research, we have discovered that longtime MMA announcer Michael “Good Night Irene” Schiavello is from some place called Australia. Awwstraileeyah. We’ve never heard of it either, but what you should know is that folks who hail from this…AUSTRALIA, tend to have funny-sounding voices. Not funny in a German nihilist kind of way, but funny nonetheless. At last Friday’s RFA 7 event, we found out that Schiavello’s accent becomes particularly amusing when attempting to pronounce the name of young fighter Danny Mainus.

You see, Mainus sounds a bit like “my anus,” you dig? It’s a fact that becomes quite humorous when Schiavello says things like “There’s a cut on Mainus,” or “Mainus is ready to pounce here.” And while this kind of humor might not be up your alley if you have moved on from the 8th grade, well, you’re probably not in our target audience anyway. So check out the video above and rate it on a comedic scale of Zookeeper to The Big Lebowski in the comments section, with Zookeeper obviously being on the upper end of the spectrum. When Kevin James started talking to that monkey, you guys, I totally roflcoptered. I roflcoptered all over myself.

Now piss off, because I need to finish writing this note to pass to Patty Nelson in chemistry class (more like phlegmistry class, amiright? *receives high fives from everyone at the cool kids lunch table*) to see if she’ll go with me to the Spring semi-formal. If she denies me, I’ll just tell Tony T and Space Face Mike that she has herpes anyway.

–J. Jones

WTF?! Video of the Day: Thank God, Steven Seagal Has Arrived to Save Our Nation From School Shootings


(Seagal, seen here donning various items of clothing he had stolen from the cubbies of children he cared so dearly for.) 

Somewhere between Hard to Kill and Cockpuncher, Steven Seagal experienced a Christ-like resurrection of his career using only the power of audacity and the “free member for life” coupon to Old Country Buffet he had secured through a sponsorship deal in 1989. Seemingly overnight, the aging sensei emerged from a bargain bin of straight-to-DVD cop films (which to be fair, is a game he’ll never truly leave behind) and gut-bustingly awful musical endeavors to become the personal mentor of the pound-for-pound greatest fighter in the world, inventor of the front kick, and a “respected” member of the law enforcement community. Like the Phoenix who rose out of the Arby’s wrappers of its former self, Seagal was able to successfully come back from the dead and reconnect with semi-fame. And he is not letting go this time.

Take the events of this past weekend, for instance, in which Seagal was able to use said fame to join forces with the Maricopa County Police Department and assemble a posse (his words, not mine) of school shooting response specialists. Because if anyone knows how to react to a real life crisis situation, it’s the guy who has made a career terribly pretending to react to fake ones.

After the jump: A video snippet of this hilariously misguided endeavor, featuring paintball warfare, some misplaced picketing, and a surprising lack of firing range goggles*.


(Seagal, seen here donning various items of clothing he had stolen from the cubbies of children he cared so dearly for.) 

Somewhere between Hard to Kill and Cockpuncher, Steven Seagal experienced a Christ-like resurrection of his career using only the power of audacity and the “free member for life” coupon to Old Country Buffet he had secured through a sponsorship deal in 1989. Seemingly overnight, the aging sensei emerged from a bargain bin of straight-to-DVD cop films (which to be fair, is a game he’ll never truly leave behind) and gut-bustingly awful musical endeavors to become the personal mentor of the pound-for-pound greatest fighter in the world, inventor of the front kick, and a “respected” member of the law enforcement community. Like the Phoenix who rose out of the Arby’s wrappers of its former self, Seagal was able to successfully come back from the dead and reconnect with semi-fame. And he is not letting go this time.

Take the events of this past weekend, for instance, in which Seagal was able to use said fame to join forces with the Maricopa County Police Department and assemble a posse (his words, not mine) of school shooting response specialists. Because if anyone knows how to react to a real life crisis situation, it’s the guy who has made a career terribly pretending to react to fake ones.

After the jump: A video snippet of this hilariously misguided endeavor, featuring paintball warfare, some misplaced picketing, and a surprising lack of firing range goggles*.

“You’re not doctors and lawyers, you’re cops. When you yell at somebody ‘Get down on the ground!’ they gotta do it. If they don’t do it, you better make them comply. Quick. For every second that goes by you could be losing children.”

Yep, that was the kind of profound advice actual men of the law received from a guy who played one on TV. And before you try to bring Seagal’s credentials into play, know this: Steven Seagal is as much a cop as Shaquille O’Neal is one, and attempting to argue this point will only make you look like an asshole. You don’t see Dennis Leary patrolling the streets of NYC and ordering on-scene fireman to “Throw more water on the fire, because water kills fire,” nor will you ever hear about the time Sean Astin served as defensive coordinator for Notre Dame, because that shit is supposed to work the other way around.

The Maricopa County Police Department’s decision to involve Seagal in such a controversial affair would be even more baffling if you didn’t first realize that they have all but given the guy the keys to their armory and a judge-approved “Fuck you, I’m Steven Seagal” pass to do whatever the hell he wants. This was the same police department that agreed to participate in the Segal-starring reality show afterbirth known as Lawman, and the same department that once allowed Seagal to bust up a cockfight with a tank that in turn led to just one arrest and the deaths of 150 chickens. If only we were making that up.

What does any of this have to do with MMA? Nothing, but if Sensei Seagal is going to continuously find ways to forcibly penetrate my psyche, than you Taters are going to share the brunt of it with me.

*Seriously, can someone explain to me why Seagal wears firing range goggles to an MMA fight, a movie premier, or a return trip to the OCB, but when an actual occasion in which they might be appropriate arrives, he dons a scarf? It’s like he’s laughing at us while laughing with us. 

–J. Jones

WTF?! Video of the Day: Wannabe Superhero “Phoenix Jones” One-Punches Drunk Dude Under Police Supervision


(“Can you guys hurry this up? My Mom…I mean The Phoenix signal is calling.”)

If you are an MMA fan, a comic book fan, or just a really lonely guy, then you’ve probably heard the story of Phoenix Jones a.k.a Ben Fodor, the amateur MMA fighter/”superhero” that according to his Wikipedia page “is an American leader of a ten-member citizen crime-prevention patrol group who call themselves the Rain City Superhero Movement.” So basically, a bunch of dudes who never met a Friday night they couldn’t squander formed a neighborhood watch group and dressed in cosplay. Because as we all know, the best way to be taken seriously is to dress up like a bumblebee and hand out life lessons to the drunks who happen to stumble out of the bars each night.

In any case, the world’s least anonymous superhero encountered one such drunk last weekend. After informing the police of the situation, Fodor challenged the drunken fellow to “mutual combat,” which is apparently a law dictating that if two parties have expressed an equal desire to fight one another, they can do so without the threat of legal action as long as neither participant uses unreasonable force. Awesome.

Video after the jump.


(“Can you guys hurry this up? My Mom…I mean The Phoenix signal is calling.”)

If you are an MMA fan, a comic book fan, or just a really lonely guy, then you’ve probably heard the story of Phoenix Jones a.k.a Ben Fodor, the amateur MMA fighter/”superhero” that according to his Wikipedia page “is an American leader of a ten-member citizen crime-prevention patrol group who call themselves the Rain City Superhero Movement.” So basically, a bunch of dudes who never met a Friday night they couldn’t squander formed a neighborhood watch group and dressed in cosplay. Because as we all know, the best way to be taken seriously is to dress up like a bumblebee and hand out life lessons to the drunks who happen to stumble out of the bars each night.

In any case, the world’s least anonymous superhero encountered one such drunk last weekend. After informing the police of the situation, Fodor challenged the drunken fellow to “mutual combat,” which is apparently a law dictating that if two parties have expressed an equal desire to fight one another, they can do so without the threat of legal action as long as neither participant uses unreasonable force. Awesome.

I’ve watched this video five times since it was passed along to us and I still don’t know what to make of it. All I’ve taken away from it is that Washington State easily has the coolest police force I’ve ever encountered.

Although you can skip ahead to the 6:40 mark for the actual fight, I’d suggest you watch the entire video for some context. It begins with the sane member of Drunk Dude’s crew questioning Fodor on the legality of whatever he has just done, which I’m guessing involved pepper spray. Fodor responds by saying that he “can do whatever he wants,” which should raise some concerns about this man’s state of mind right away. This is when Drunk Dude steps in and completely absorbs all the negative qualities about Fodor in one fell swoop, opting to mutter racial slurs in between “Come at me, bro” poses with effortless vitriol. The police arrive around the 2:30 mark to sort things out and ultimately decide that letting these two morons throw down would probably be in humanity’s best interest. Like I said, awesome.

But it isn’t until these two decide to square off that everyone realizes how screwed Drunk Dude truly is. Fodor may be a delusional schizophrenic with a God complex, but the man can throw a freakin’ beautiful leg kick. So much so that after about three or four of said kicks, Drunk Dude is pretty much ready to call it a day. But because we know leg kicks don’t finish (street) fights, Fodor makes sure to put Drunk Dude’s lights out with a straight right, possibly after he had already called quitsies. And with that, Seattle’s wannabe dark knight retreats into the darkness.

Now to be clear, I am not taking Drunk Dude’s side in this, because he and his ghetto-speaking, take-my-shirt-off-at-the-mention-of-a-fight friend were asking for a worse ass-kicking than they actually received. But I can’t say that I appreciate the idea of some self-righteous looney tune deciding that he is the new Sheriff in town either. This isn’t Vietnam, Smokey, there are rules here. And while Ben appears to know his way around the law, he also “has a history of injecting himself in these incidents” as the SeattlePi put it when he was arrested a little over a year ago for pepper spraying a group of people involved in an alleged fight. Just watch this video of that incident and tell me that this guy doesn’t add to the problems he is supposedly trying to solve. After you stop laughing, of course.

I’m sure Fodor has been responsible for actual resolving/averting a crisis or two in his day, but does anyone else think the necessity of his antics should be called into question when he becomes responsible for more police reports than he helps thwart? Should I be ridiculed for even questioning the legitimacy of a man who dresses up in a costume to fight crime? Is this real life? Anyone?

–J. Jones