Good News, Jason Miller is Now Free to Wreak Havoc in a Town Near You


(Today, the Modern Methodist Church of Southern Viejo. Tommorow, THE WORLD.)

After spending a two-day stint in Orange County jail, complete with psychological evaluations and all, it appears that Jason “Mayhem” Miller has been released after posting the required $20,000 bail earlier today.

Living up to his nickname, Miller was responsible for what will likely become one of the most notorious arrests in MMA History when he was found naked inside a Mission Viejo church Tuesday, which he had both vandalized and sprayed with a fire extinguisher. Oddly enough, officers on the scene stated that Miller seemed to be completely coherent when he was discovered, and are currently awaiting a toxicology report to determine if he was under any mind altering substances at the time the crime was committed. Given the quick turnaround time, we’d guess that he was either on hippie crack or an epic dosage of whip-its.

Dana White, a.k.a the man who broke Mayhem’s heart and unknowingly caused all of this, has yet to comment on Miller’s arrest. Luckily, we’ve done it for him:

I tell you, this f*cking guy, with his f*cking f*ggy pink boas and boom boxes and dance moves and Japanese schoolgirls. He really needs a f*cking clue. It’s bad enough that he lost to f*cking Launchpad McQuack in his last performance, but now he goes out and pulls this sh*t. That’s all I gotta say, except f*ck you, f*ck Josh Gross, and f*ck Fedor. Dana out!

Word has it Mayhem is now accepting requests for birthday parties, bar mitzvahs, art gallery openings, or whatever event you would be willing to shuttle him to through his Facebook page. We’re not sure what it is he will do once he gets there, but you can rest assured that it will not be boring.

J. Jones


(Today, the Modern Methodist Church of Southern Viejo. Tommorow, THE WORLD.)

After spending a two-day stint in Orange County jail, complete with psychological evaluations and all, it appears that Jason “Mayhem” Miller has been released after posting the required $20,000 bail earlier today.

Living up to his nickname, Miller was responsible for what will likely become one of the most notorious arrests in MMA History when he was found naked inside a Mission Viejo church Tuesday, which he had both vandalized and sprayed with a fire extinguisher. Oddly enough, officers on the scene stated that Miller seemed to be completely coherent when he was discovered, and are currently awaiting a toxicology report to determine if he was under any mind altering substances at the time the crime was committed. Given the quick turnaround time, we’d guess that he was either on hippie crack or an epic dosage of whip-its.

Dana White, a.k.a the man who broke Mayhem’s heart and unknowingly caused all of this, has yet to comment on Miller’s arrest. Luckily, we’ve done it for him:

I tell you, this f*cking guy, with his f*cking f*ggy pink boas and boom boxes and dance moves and Japanese schoolgirls. He really needs a f*cking clue. It’s bad enough that he lost to f*cking Launchpad McQuack in his last performance, but now he goes out and pulls this sh*t. That’s all I gotta say, except f*ck you, f*ck Josh Gross, and f*ck Fedor. Dana out!

Word has it Mayhem is now accepting requests for birthday parties, bar mitzvahs, art gallery openings, or whatever event you would be willing to shuttle him to through his Facebook page. We’re not sure what it is he will do once he gets there, but you can rest assured that it will not be boring.

J. Jones