Ray Elbe reportedly suffered a horrendous injury while having sex with his girlfriend recently, essentially breaking his penis and passing out from the pain.
There.
That is pretty much all you need to know and can carry on with your day knowing full well that a remarkable athlete was struck down by fate with a malady I didn’t even know was possible.
I am guessing you want more of the graphic details involving one man’s penis and how it went about breaking during sex. By all means, continue. But know that you have been warned.
TMZ reports the MMA fighter who featured on “Ultimate Fighter 9,” Ray Elbe, was rushed to the hospital earlier this month while staying in Malaysia.
Not only did he reportedly break his penis, the injury apparently required the use of 10 stitches, pretty much making this the worst story ever.
…he was having sex with his GF, who was “on top”…when she bounced a little too high, and crunched Ray’s erect penis.
According to Ray, his penis “fractured”…and “blood was everywhere.” Ray says he immediately passed out from the pain.
Feeling a little woozy myself, TMZ. Thanks.
He was taken to the hospital where he was treated for what the report calls, “a slight tear in his urinary tube.”
It’s at this point that I have to question whether I have been on the Internet for far too long, stumbling across a story that mandates I read it whilst wincing.
Nevertheless, we trudge ahead and read that Elbe suffered extreme pain after the operation and even delivered this little nugget. His penis was “throbbing with each heart beat.”
For those of you having a bad day, consider that Elbe is on a prescription of anti-erection pills for two weeks. That should put the waiter who forgot your ketchup with lunch into perspective.
It gets better for Elbe. Or should we say, it gets good.
The fighter says he learned a hard lesson from the experience—and will never let his GF be “on top” ever again.
Elbe also explained, “In an attempt to make it up to me…[my GF] has promised me a threesome of my choice when we get to the Philippines…which usually has some solid talent.”
Well there you go.
Life really has a way of evening out in the end. Far be it from me to lecture anyone, but this sounds like treating a broken stomach with a buffet.
I may not have seen everything thanks to the Internet. But after this remarkable story, I am pretty damn close.
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