(You best believe that if Anderson’s wife isn’t making someone a sandwich, she’s doing their laundry.)
Keeping with the theme of previous UFC on Fox promos, the latest ad features none other than UFC middleweight champion Anderson Silva trying to convince us that he’s just a normal guy whilst performing tasks that only The Fonz could get away with. No, he isn’t lip singing Minnie Riperton or seducing Brazilian pop stars, but “The Spider” manages to be entertaining nonetheless.
But your probably asking yourself, how could someone who all but refuses to speak English appear in an American television commercial? Surely they didn’t subtitle him, because our forefathers didn’t die face down in the mud so that we’d be forced to listen to some cockamamie, Godless language in our own homes and read on top of it. But it turns out that there would be no need for subtitles, because wouldn’t you know, Chael Sonnen wasn’t lying to us; Anderson Silva speaks better English than Jackie Chan has managed to learn in twenty-some years of acting.
This more or less confirms that Big Nog did in fact try to feed a bus a carrot. It’s only a matter of time until the truth is revealed.
Much like the one depicted in that commercial, our universe is fucking shattered.
-J. Jones