There are few sports that lend themselves to rumors the way mixed martial arts does. We have seen a backyard brawler become a major star, the sport’s major promoter agree to box one of his stars, and two brothers agree to fight each other. Someone once paid disgraced baseball star Jose Canseco to fight a giant. Hell, we spent most of the last few weeks listening to nonsensical rumors that Conor McGregor would fight Floyd Mayweather Jr.
That is why when something crazy pops up (which tends to happen quite often), it’s almost impossible to dismiss out of hand. We have seen too much bizarre stuff happen. Madness is part of what we love about it. Chaos is our favorite ingredient.
Chaos.
In a way it’s what we hope for. Those of us who watch MMA like it best when it’s messy—when fact and fiction blend into something indistinguishable and the truth can only be found between eight walls.
Speaking of chaos, did you hear Brock Lesnar is back?
No, seriously, it’s true. MMA Fighting’s Ariel Helwani reported Saturday the former college wrestler/pro wrestler/NFL hopeful who breezed into the fight world, shook it up, then rode off back to his ranch in the woods has decided there are a few more asses to (legitimately) kick before time robs him of his beastliness.
Of course he did.
Of course the mercenary couldn’t turn down the monster payday that is going to come along at July 9’s UFC 200.
This is how desperate the UFC was to sign him: It doesn’t even have an opponent for him. It just figures Lesnar will sell. And it’s probably right. Lesnar, after all, still holds the UFC record for the highest pay-per-view buyrate, headlining a card that drew 1.6 million buys in 2009, per Forbes.com.
That card? UFC 100.
Now here we are seven years later. And to be sure, he’s not back because he just likes round numbers. I mean, he likes them, but the ones with a dollar sign in front.
This was the right money, the right card, the right time.
Even if at 38 years old, Lesnar is too old.
Does any of this make sense? No! None of it does, which is why it’s perfect.
To be clear, Lesnar would probably be better off staying retired. He has not won a match since UFC 116 and hasn’t competed since December 2011. The sport has evolved without him. During his heyday, heavyweights were focused on size. Both he and Shane Carwin cut weight to make the 265-pound limit. So did Lesnar’s favored rival, Frank Mir, and several others.
These days, heavyweight champ Stipe Miocic barely passes the 240 mark. He favors speed and athleticism over sheer bulk, and several other big guys, including another Lesnar rival, Alistair Overeem, have slimmed down to keep up.
In reality, Lesnar is late.
And somehow, he is right on time.
After all, his career didn’t get the ending he deserved. It was cut down early.
In a way, you can argue we never saw the best of him. Remember, he was a force who never reached his full potential because the company rushed him into top-level competition and he didn’t have time to grow into a skill set. Most of this was not his fault. He was too busy making millions in professional wrestling.
And then when he realized he wanted to try real fighting and found out he was good at it, his body gave out on him. Diverticulitis changed the course of his career, forcing him to retire after just four years of competition.
And like that, he was gone, back to pro wrestling and out of our lives, never to return. But you know what they say about fighters. They never really retire, they’re just waiting.
Every few months, the rumors would surface. Lesnar wants to return. Lesnar is back in training. Those of us who report on such rumors would look into it, only to be told nothing much was happening.
In March 2015, the rumors should have gone away for good. Lesnar announced on SportsCenter he was done. “So I’m here to say that my legacy in the Octagon is over,” he said in announcing a WWE deal, via For the Win.
But the whispers never died. In a way, they felt like hopeful murmurs rather than anything grounded in reality.
Yet here we are. The Beast Incarnate is back, and the fight world is thrilled even though most of us probably know the odds are it won’t go all that well.
Who will he fight? Who knows. Mir would be the obvious choice, but he’s facing a possible suspension for a failed performance-enhancing drug test. Carwin—now 41 years old—has toyed with the idea of staging his own comeback and stated he wants the fight. Also, Mark Hunt informed Nick Walshaw and Nick Campton of the Daily Telegraph he was told to be prepared for a possible UFC 200 fight.
The reality is, the opponent doesn’t matter. This comeback is a novelty until Lesnar proves it isn’t. Those eight walls have a way of squeezing the truth out of anyone—even a beast—so it shouldn’t take long to determine fact from fiction. Until about, oh, July 9.
It’ll be both years too late, and right on time.
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