(Rourke vs. Elliot Seymour, Round 2. Come for the funny accents, stay for the SAVAGE body shots.)
While you were pausing to check your phone in between trips to the Golden Corral buffet line this Thanksgiving weekend, you might have heard that 62 year-old actor Mickey Rourke returned to the boxing ring after a 20 year absence to face off against 29 year-old Elliot Seymour in Moscow. You might also have heard that star of The Wrestler not only survived the encounter, but actually walked away the victor via a second round TKO.
What you might not have heard (or seen) was the fight itself, which played out in the kind of cringeworthy fashion you would expect of a Russian freakshow fight between a 62 year-old and a 1-9 journeyman. Rourke repeatedly dropped Seymour with body shots that looked…let’s say “less than devastating”, leading many fans to cry foul mere moments after the fight was waved off. (“A Hollywood actor playing make believe? I for one am flabbergasted!” — Nobody)
And unfortunately, today brings an even more depressing insight into the story of Rourke’s glorious absolute victory. We’ll let The Daily Mail explain:
In an exclusive interview, a source close to Seymour’s family, said: ‘It was clearly a fixed fight. The whole bouncing off the ropes, hands down, punches were not landing and they were intentionally hitting each other’s gloves.
There are people at Wild Card gym who know that Elliot’s in a really terrible situation and pretty much living on the streets, these are Mickey Rourke’s people who Elliot’s been around and known for some time.
All these headlines Mickey Rourke beat someone half his age… yeah he did but you’re not telling them the real story, the real story is he’s homeless and desperate and he will probably go back to living on the streets when he gets back. People have no clue about that. There’s so much more to the situation than people know, and there’s so much that’s more important than the fact it was fixed, which is the fact he doesn’t have a home and he’s got some mental health issues. They told him to throw the fight, I hope he gets home safely and paid. They wanted him down in the 4th.’
Anyone with half a brain could have predicted that a fight featuring a 60+ year-old Hollywood actor would end under sketchy circumstances, but this development truly makes you realize the no-win situation Rourke put himself in by agreeing to this in the first place. If he was paired against a semi-competent opponent and destroyed, we would have mocked him for daring to think he could still compete at his age. If he went the other route, *this* route, you knew that it would only be a matter of time before the horrific details began to emerge. Honestly, I’m just going to say that Rourke looks to be in great shape and walk away whistling.
But yeah, Mickey Rourke beat up a homeless, mentally unstable drifter in Russia on Black Friday, which is quite possibly the most beautiful series of words ever committed to the CP WordPress.
BREAKING: We have just received word that Rourke actually competed in another, bare-knuckle match over the weekend, and the results were equally as vicious. A gif of the finish is below:
Brutal. Just brutal.