(Wait, so you mean to tell me that we have to fight indoors? In a ring? Like a bunch of pampered women? Props to MiddleEasy for the find. )
Fresh off his decision victory over Scott Ferrozzo at ProElite: Birmingham, Tank Abbott was at it again last night, this time taking on fellow UFC pioneer Kimo Leopold in a match that made the ill-fated special rules bout between Ken Shamrock and James Toney seem like a walk in the park. Fortunately taking place inside an actual building this time — the Avalon in Hollywood, California — the bout featured three, one minute rounds, in which the competitors wore both headgear and some cartoon sized boxing gloves.
But where Tank’s backyard brawl at least had the decency to determine a winner, no such clarity could be provided with last evening’s brawl. Those that were able to stay awake for the “fight”‘s entirety were given no closure as to who won, and likely walked back to their tricked out El Camino’s soaked in Natty Ice and disappointment. But considering that these are the kind of people who willingly paid to see the likes of Coolio, Octomom, Joey Buttafuoco, Tila Tequila, and Jose fucking Canseco square off, all whilst Ron Jeremy strutted his stuff as a ring girl, mind you, it’s hard to imagine that their hopes were ever that high to begin with. Or their IQ’s, for that matter.
As soon as we find video evidence that this blasphemy actually occurred we will be sure to let you know, because this is the kind of hard hitting story that keeps the Potato Nation strong.
-Danga