The 150th UFC PPV takes place at the Pepsi Center in Denver, Colorado, which means tonight’s drinking game will lead you to the ER with liver poisoning as Joe and Goldie talk about the altitude. Headlining the card is the rematch to end all rematches when former WEC standout and current UFC lightweight champion, Benson Henderson squares off against Frankie “The Answer” Edgar.
Also on the broadcast is the front-runner to win Fight of the Night honors when Donald “Cowboy” Cerrone locks horns with Melvin Guillard. I’m told that Jake Shields and Yushin Okami are scheduled to fight Ed Hermann and Buddy Roberts respectively, and that’s totally cool, But you’re only buying this card for one reason: to see if the gold changes hands at the end of the night.
“Live” (emphasis on the quotation marks) round-by-round results from the Henderson – Edgar 2 pay-per-view main card will be piling up after the jump beginning at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT, courtesy of Jason Moles. Refresh the page every few minutes hours for all the latest, and please toss in your own inebriated thoughts in the comments section.
Let’s get this started, shall we?
Justin Lawrence vs. Max Holloway
Round 1: Holloway’s crotch says, “BUY MY SHORTS.” Don’t ask me why that’s the first thing I noticed about him. Feeling out process ended with a few kicks from Lawrence. Nice high kick from Holloway. Both trade a few nice punches. Lawrence seems to be landing more strikes. %$#&!!! Holloway just drilled “The All American Kid” All- American nuts! Okay, just walk it off. Lawrence pushing forward and gets the takedown. Right back up. Lawrence is bleeding. Holloway lands a knee to the chin. Swing and a miss by Holloway. 13-12 Significant strikes favoring Lawrence. Holloway drills him in the balls again as the end of round horn sounds.
Round 2: Stick and move by Holloway. The men both trade snapping kicks. Lawrence with a lot of front kicks, sidekicks. Crowd starting to boo but it dies down. Holloway lands a clean right hand. Holloway demonstrating very nice counter punching — stuffs a takedown as well. Lawrence landing 47% of his strikes. Stick and move by both men. Holloway stuffs a takedown my grandmother could have seen, and she’s got cataracts. Now he tags Lawrence which leads to an opening for a deep knee to the gut. Left hook to the liver and “It’s all over!!!”
Winner Max Holloway Rd. 2 TKO
Up Next – Yushin Okami vs. Buddy Roberts
Buddy Roberts walking out to ‘Bleed It Out’ by Linkin Park. Yushin on the other hand… Holy $%&@! Is that Tank Abbott??? Nope, he’s sober.
Round 1: Roberts comes out swinging. Looking for a head kick. Okami lands a nice left. Buddy keeps connecting with the jab. Okami just got clipped. Roberts landing knees from the clinch. Okami tries and fails twice to get the takedown from the clinch against the cage. Okami finally drags him down,. takes his back, transitions to his guard. Okami in half guard, not much action. Crowd boos on cue. Yushin in side mount with arm control and lands a few shots. Okami in full mount, takes the back, lands a few shots to the back of the head but Herb doesn’t seem to mind. A bunch more punches and the horn sounds.
Round 2: Buddy goes forward and slips on the mat. Lands a shot once he recovers. Okami with a straight left. Clinches and tries to drag him down. Success. Buddy transitions into a guillotine. Back on their feet. Okami nails a double leg. Moves into half guard. Looking to utilize elbows, looks some more… Full mount by “Thunder” and Buddy rolls over on his belly. Okami just keeps punching him in the skull. Herb calls it.
Winner: Yushin Okami – Rd. 2 – TKO
Better grab a Mt. Dew and a handful of Yellow Jackets before Jake Shields middleweight debut against Ed Herman.
Herman walking out wearing a Dethrone hoodie. His music sucks, but his bobcat shirt makes up for it. Man, I almost forgot how pale redheads are. Shields walks out to what sounds like The Glitch Mob dubstep remix of Seven Nation Army. My wife says his nipples are really “pokie” – like they’ve been stretched. Wow – Rashad really wasn’t joking around when he said you’d notice a difference.
Round 1: Shields immediately throws a kick. Both men attacking. Herman goes for takedown, Shields hip tosses him. Back on the feet. Clinched and they both trade blows. Herman lands a knee. Shields gets the trip takedown. Ground and pound from Jake. Both men back up, dirty boxing along the fence. These guys have separation issues. Jake has a sponsor sticker for a radiator company. Nice elbow by Herman. Jake looking for the guillotine. *yawn* Thank God the fans can boo for me. Finally some action – that guys claps the 2×4′s together to signal 10 seconds left.
Round 2: Looks, I can text the UFC who I want to win. Nice. More kicks by Shields. Herman initiates the clinch again. Take down – Shields on top in half guard, now side control. Working for a kimura.
Sorry guys, @#&^$@*$^#*(# internet! Sorry.
Round 3 almost over – Shields has been dominating Herman on the ground for most of it. Shields in full mount. Herman trying to score pints off his back, but he’s no Miguel Torres. Shields lands more and more punches as the crowd boos louder. Both men swinging but it’s all over. The judges will decide who moves forward…. but the fans are not impressed with their performance.
Winner: Jake Shields by Unanimous decision.
Coming up next: Former teamates and BFF’s, Donald “Cowboy” Cerrone and Melvin “I don’t care if I’m indoors, I’m wearing my damn sunglasses anyway!” Guillard.
Denver crowd tried to snatch the infamous sunglasses of Guillard. #fail – Apparently being a Blackzillian automatically gets you a Pretorian sponsorship. *Cue Kid Rock music* Here comes Cowboy, baby. The TapouT cowboy hat looked much better than this Muscle Pharm stuff. Cerrone looks happier than a pig in, well, you get the point.
Round 1: “Taller is Cerrone”, says Mike Goldberg. Guillard gets booed heavily as Buffer introduces him. Remember, it’s not because Denver is racist, it’s because they love them some homegrown talent – and Cerrone is home. Cowboy quick on the offensive with a head kick. Guillard is beating the living daylights outta Cerrone!!!!! Punches in bunches AND a knee to the midsection. Dang! Okay, he looks shocked but he;s good now. Damn! Now Cowboy lands a head kick followed up by a hard right hand and Guillard is asleep!!! When will he ever learn that sunglasses are unnecessary indoors?
Winner: Donald Cerrone – Rd. 1 KO
Craziest fight of the year? Yeah, I think so. They both hug it out, now that “The Young Assassin” has come to. I would pay to be at their after party.
Main Event Time: Benson “Smooth” Henderson vs. Frankie Edgar
Frankie runs to the Octagon, gets greased up -legally, not the Anderson Silva way. Like a leprechaun who’s been had, he wants his gold back. Ben is strutting his way to the prep point. The champ’s calm and focused. It’s Time!
Round 1: Edgar in the black/red trunks littered with sponsors. Henderson must have sponsored himself because his upper body is plastered on his poster… oh yeah, tighties for the champ. Empty jabs by Henderson. Egdar landing a few shots, most noticeably a left hand. Leg kick by Smooth. Edgar nearly looses his balance after Henderson kicks his leg again. Another one and he’s down. Scrambled to the feet. Edgar returns the favor and throws a leg kick. Frankie’s left calf is swollen and red. Both men throwing combos, landing shots here and there. Frankie lands a leg kick. Edgar catches the leg kick this time, takedown but the champ locks in a guillotine. Remember how many times Frankie caught kicks last time? Round over.
Nate Diaz in attendance.
Round 2: 12-8 Sig strikes in favor of the champ for round 1. Another leg kick by Smooth and Edgar drops to a knee but recovers. Frankie feints a takedown. Lands a punch. Leg kick and a hook for Edgar. Both guys switching stance. Leg kick by the champ. Edgar drops Henderson with a wicked uppercut. Looking to sink in the choke. Smooth works up to his feet. but Frankie still has a hold of him. Henderson keeping a hand on the ground to avoid knees. Edgar is bleeding. Separation! Henderson misses a big axe kick. Then shoots but is stuffed by Frankie. Big body kick by the champ the the horn.
Round 3: Half landed/half blocked head kick by Benson. Lots of jabs by him as well, most hit air. Frankie lands a leg kick. Ben returns the favor and charges. very nice jab by Benson. Both men exchange blows. Champ telegraphs a head kick. Edgar ducks. Same for his right hard. More of the same – I hit you, you hit me. Repeat. Still no mention of altitude – my drinking game sucks – I can still see the keys clearly. The champ tries to Sweet Chin Music the former champ – misses. 20-16 sig strikes so far in favor of Smooth. Champ charges and Frankie Edgar tries to hit HBK’s finisher as the horn sounds.
Championship rounds, deep water, point of no return, etc….
Round 4: Guys are just banging. Leg kicks, straight punches, more leg kicks – it’s all here. Neither man looks to have a significant advantage, both are active. Edgar gets a takedown. Big kick from the ground and Ben is back up. Until he Frankie locks in the choke. Leaning on the champ is Edgar. Applying pressure on the choke. Now they stand. Crowd’s chant is inaudible. Henderson lands a jab that knocks Edgar’s mouthpiece out. TIME OUT! Okay, back to work. Leg kick by Frankie is beautiful. My face hurts from watching all of these punches. Edgar catches ANOTHER kick. and Keeps it standing. Horn.
Round 5: Edgar’s corner tells him to punch him against the cage. Edgar’s footwork prevents being kicked in the lead leg again. Nice shots by the NJ native. Champ is fighting like he’s already won… Edgar is hungry. Crowd chants, “Frankie!” Caught another kick did Frankie. Puts a right hand on his face. Keeps attacking with combos. Now the champ looks to score points with a few jabs. Edgar’s counter striking is impressive. Frankie hits a nice leg kick. One minute left!!! Nice body shot by Edgar. Champ comes forward, lands s shot. Both are going at it now. End of fight.. Judges will now calculate the scores, correctly, we hope.
And the winner is…..
Ben Henderson Frankie Edgar by unanimous decision split decision!
The crowd is NOT happy. “I fight for you guys! I try to finish fights!” -Henderson.
Edgar says he’s not sure if he’ll go back and watch this fight again. Dude looks heartbroken. Fans love him though.
Why isn’t Nate Diaz stepping the Octagon?
That’s it, I’m outta here. *Sigh of relief* Hope you all enjoyed. Next week: Strikeforce: Rousey vs. Kaufman
– Jason