Tonight’s UFC on FOX event is looking to be one for the ages, Potato Nation. The alcohol-fueled spirit of Cinco De Mayo has overtaken most, if not all, of the U.S of A by this point, and I’m no exception, so lets skip the fancy introductions and get right to it.
Preliminary results
-Karlos Vemola def. Mike Massenzio by submission (rear-naked choke) at 1:07 of round two.
-Roland Delorme def. Nick Denis by submission (rear-naked choke) at 4:59 of round one.
-Dennis Bermudez def. Pablo Garzo by UD
-Danny Castillo def. John Cholsih by UD
-Louis Gaudinot def. John Lineker by submission (guillotine choke) at 4:54 of round 2
-John Hathaway def. Paskal Krauss by UD
-John Dodson def. Tim Elliot by UD
-Michael Johnson def. Tony Ferguson by UD
A couple musings from the prelims:
-Apparently some McDonald’s Happy Meals DO come with Jiu-Jitsu Blackbelts. Just ask Mike Massenzio.
-Nick Denis has a ridiculous rat tail, but it can’t match up with Roland Delorme’s iron chin. What an amazing round of action that was.
They give a shout-out to Adam Yauch, who unfortunately lost his battle to cancer at just 47. In his honor, I am starting off this liveblog with a Brass Monkey at my side. Cheers.
Lavar Johnson vs. Pat Barry
Bruce Buffer seemed waaay to enthusiastic when announcing Lavar Johnson’s nickname. Just sayin’.
Round 1: Barry opens with a left hook and a nice leg kick. Johnson clinches. Barry hits a head kick off the fence, then an uppercut. Leg kick Barry. Johnson clinches again. A couple knees to the head from Johnson, then a flurry of those patented uppercuts. Barry looks for a takedown, might be in trouble. Barry moves to mount! Then moves to side control…weird. Barry’s going for an Americana… weirder. Rogan comments on his incorrect technique, but Johnson is grimacing like a sumbitch, so maybe its working. “Big” gets free. The mount is wide open for the taking, but Barry opts to stay in side control. Both men back to their feet, and a leg kick by Barry. Big kick by Johnson spins Barry around, and Johnson is just UNLOADING on Barry against the fence. Is Barry playing possum? Nope, Johnson continues to tee off on Barry until he drops and it is all over. Wow.
Lavar Johnson def. Pat Barry via TKO, round 1.
Man, Barry must have seriously been rocked, because he was a sitting duck for that last exchange. In either case, a great win for Johnson in defeating the more technical striker. Johnson tries to make the case for KOTN, saying, “He just wants that check.”
My God. Paul Harris’ highlight reel looks like a Faces of Death movie trailer. Those poor souls.
Rousimar Palhares vs. Alan Belcher
Goldberg tries to introduce Dan Mirogliatta twice and fails miserably.
Round 1: Both men are tentative at the start. Belcher faints a few jabs, and Palhares dives on a leg. Uh-oh. Holy shit, Belcher is looking for a Twister after a hell of a scramble, and now a banana split. I MUST be drunk. Palhares looking for a kneebar. Belcher defending, but its like watching a car accident happen in slo-mo. Palhares now trying for a heel hook of death. Belcher escapes! HE MUST BE GREASING! Nice elbows by Belcher, who is laying down some serious GnP. IT IS OVER!
Alan Belcher def. Rousimar Palhares via TKO, round 1.
What a victory for Belcher. The man put his legs in the grinder and came out unscathed. What the hell is going on with the audio feed? Either Mike Goldberg is having an aneurysm or something is really up, because one-word spurts are repeating on loop. Anyway, Belcher sort of claims that he is the most dangerous 185er on the ground since he defeated Palhares, and I’m inclined to believe him.
Josh Koscheck vs. Johny Hendricks.
Jesus Christ, is Joe Rogan seriously trying to pass off Mir/Dos Santos as a grudge match? Who cares, because they’re playing “Brass Monkey” in the background of his and Dana White’s little chat. DRINK UP!
Once again, I have to hear that Josh Koscheck does in fact own a motherfucking plane. Screw this, I’m turning off the sound on my TV and throwing on some Danzig.
Round 1: Koscheck comes out with a front kick. Then another. Well, its already gone longer than I’d like it to. Koscheck with a nice right hook on the counter. Hendricks may be hurt, as Koscheck just landed a nice combo on him. Now another. Hendricks is in trouble, and tries a takedown that is ridiculously far from landing. Hendricks lands a nice uppercut, then goes for the double leg. They clinch against the fence, and are separated by Kevin Mulhall. Hendricks with a left hand, then tries for another takedown. Koscheck with a nice combo against the fence. Hendricks is looking for a one-punch KO here. Koscheck tries a spinning LOLfist as the round ends, and he likely took it.
Round 2: Hendricks is throwing looping punches trying to close the distance, but Kos ain’t having it. Uppercut Hendricks. Koscheck looks for a guillotine on a Hendricks takedown attempt, then goes for Hendricks’ back. Hendricks goes for a double and gets Kos against the fence. Crowd getting restless, those animals. On the separation, Kos whiffs a big left, and gets countered with an uppercut. They clinch again, and Kos lands a nice elbow before pushing off. Kos tries a head kick that gets blocked. Hendricks swinging away, then lands a leg kick and clinches as the bell sounds. Close round, but I’d give it to Hendricks.
Round 3: Koschecks eye is starting to resemble the GSP fight, and he bull rushes Hendricks into the fence. Mulhall separates, and the two swing away in a nice exchange. Hendricks lands a nice left hook that seems to hurt Kos, but then Kos fires back. Some really nice dirty boxing by Hendricks, ala Randy Couture. I think Koscheck’s eye may be in some trouble here, as Hendricks lands another knee. Takedown Kos, who briefly attempts an arm-triangle. Koscheck on top, working for mount, but Hendricks gets back to half-guard. Koscheck spends the remainder of the round on top and may take it.
Scratch that.
Johny Hendricks def. Josh Koscheck by split decision.
Koscheck’s eye is looking fatter than a stick of deep fried butter, and Hendricks says he wants to bring a title home to Texas. According to Dana White, he should get the chance soon enough.
They’re desperately trying to push this season’s The Ultimate Fighter, but nothing, including Ronda Rousey, is going to make people want to stay in on a Friday night. Just ask….that show Fridays.
It’s main event time…
Nate Diaz vs. Jim Miller
Brian Stann just reeled off a good four or five sentences when assessing this fight without saying the word “uh” once. Take that, Jon Jones. I forget who, but someone disagreed with my assessment that Diaz’s victory over Cerrone was “dominant” the other day. Joe Rogan just agreed with me, so SUCK IT WHOEVER YOU WERE.
Per usual, Miller comes out to “Bad Moon Rising,” which only reinforces my belief that he is the coolest thing to come out of Jersey in the history of ever.
Round 1: Diaz doesn’t touch gloves, go figure. Nice leg kick by Miller to start. Diaz clinches after a combination misses, but Miller pushes him into the fence. The crowd is already booing, WTF?! Nice knee by Miller, who tries an elbow over the top to follow. Leg kick Miller, then another. Right hook Diaz, then a nice body shot. Inside leg kick Diaz. Miller clinches Diaz against the fence, trying for a single. Diaz turns things around and lands a nice knee. Body kick Miller. Diaz drops Miller with a straight left! Miller dives for a takedown with 30 seconds left. Nice scramble, and Miller gets Diaz to the mat. Nate sweeps Miller as the round ends.
Round 2: Both men start the round with a left hand. Leg kick Miller, who follows it up with a right hand. Diaz pushes Miller into the fence and lands a few shots to the body. Nice elbow on the break by Miller. Diaz clinches again, looking for the trip, but is unsuccessful. Miller with a left over the top. Diaz tries a flying knee, and the taunting begins. They clinch and Diaz lands a nice knee that causes Miller to drop to a hand. Diaz with a nice elbow, and Miller dives for a takedown. Diaz tries a on-armed guillotine, and gets it! DAMN! Diaz becomes the first man to stop Jim Miller! Great finish!
Nate Diaz def. Jim Miller via submission (guillotine), round 2.
Holy shit. On the replay, Joe Rogan informs us that Miller’s mouthpiece fell out in the scramble, and he was nearly biting his own tongue off before he tapped.
Well, that’s all for me tonight. It looks like we have our next two challengers at lightweight and welterweight lined up. Thanks for stopping by, Potato Nation, and I’ll catch you all next week.