(“Oh my God, did that guy with the neckbeard just yell ‘Kick his ass, Sea Bass?’ TAKE US NOW, STUD.” / Photo via InsideFitness)
By Dr. SexyTime
Attending a live Mixed Martial Arts event can be a total sausage-fest, both inside and outside the cage. Demographic analysis of the UFC’s fan base is overwhelmingly male, so attending a live MMA event will probably have a worse gender ratio than the engineering department at a tech college. But trends over the last decade indicate female viewership of combat sports is increasing, and with the new addition of women’s divisions in the UFC, there is still plenty of room and reason for growth in the female audience. Still, finding a group of single women on fight night can be hard, as these aren’t exactly the types of events that attract bachelorette parties. But let’s say you do…what then? Here are a few reasons why you might actually have a chance, and what you should do about it.
1. Unnatural Selection
First, if you do happen to meet some single ladies, or at least a group that includes them, you’ve already won a small victory. It takes a pretty cool girl to decide to brave an MMA event, knowing full well she’ll see drunken, out of shape idiots wearing shirts that are way too tight (or worse, no shirt at all and body paint) who act they should be cornering the fighters. But when you hit the hotel bar the weekend of the event, you’ve already got something in common with everyone else there. “Wait, you’re attending the UFC fights tomorrow? So are we! Where are you seated?” By the time you arrive at your seats, if you’re lucky enough to be neighbors with women, you already have a ton in common. And these women are a cut above the rest if they are choosing to spend a valuable Saturday watching cage fights. Their risk-aversion isn’t quite as strong as all the women out there who didn’t consider coming for one second. The UFC has filtered a select group from the larger population, and these few, these gutsy few, are exactly the kind of women you can talk to out of the blue and maybe actually hit it off with.
2. The Biologically Confusing Thrill of Victory
The excitation and arousal that is inherent to a celebratory event confuses the brain and the body. Men and women who experience exciting or thrilling things enter a state of psychological arousal that actually has ramifications in decision-making. You just went bungee jumping or took a helicopter ride? Well, guess what — the women you meet are going to seem a little hotter for a few hours. Take advantage of the buzz that accompanies the thrill of fight night. If the women you’re interested in are really into the fights, and especially if their desired fighters win, they’ll be in a much more approachable state. If the ladies you’re with don’t know who to root for, make sure to suggest the favorite in each match so you’re correct at least two-thirds of the time. Picking winners and being on the winning team will definitely boost the mood and give you reason to celebrate together. And women like winning just as much as you do.
3. In-Group Bias
Humans are biased and irrational creatures, but the good thing is that we are predictably biased and irrational. Most people inherently like others that are part of their “in group.” This can be a bad thing in the macro-sense, but you can use it to your advantage on an individual basis. If you show up at a bar in New York wearing a Red Sox jersey, most people will treat you terribly. But those few brave souls also sporting Sox gear are your new best friends. You can be complete strangers from different walks of life, but when you’re cheering for the same team it’s all good. If you break the ice with women by asking if they’re here to see someone in particular, there is good reason to suddenly profess that you’re there to see the same fighters as well! You all will obviously get along, given that you have the same good taste in combatants. If the ladies are specifically interested in a few fighters, now might be a good time to mention that you’ve got some money on those guys – and hey, if they win, let me buy a round for all of us since you’re now part of our crew!
4. Saturday Night Fever
Fight nights are almost always on a weekend. Throw in a dark arena with colorful light shows, the kickass live DJ, drinks, and a crowd, and everyone there feels like they’re at a party. This is not a spectator experience like a Sunday afternoon baseball game or standing around at a PGA event. Fight nights are a party waiting to happen, and if you weren’t ready for it on the way there, you will be soon. Attendees of a live event will surely get caught up in the atmosphere and get into the Saturday night party mode quickly. And when you’re in the mood to party and socialize, it’s a hell of lot easier and less threatening to meet strangers. When you approach someone or meet your row neighbors, just remember they’re there for fun too — and part of that is having fun people around you. Make sure your own vibe isn’t aggressive or confrontational. Do NOT be yelling threatening things at fighters, or worse, the ring card girls. Being a creepy, misogynistic asshole is not attractive, especially when you’re a stranger. But joining in with the fun part of the night and embracing the excitement is critical. If you’re having a great time (and not embarrassing yourself), women will be far more interested in letting you talk to them. Even the dim lights of the arena will help your cause, because your pupils will dilate making you more attractive to the opposite sex!
5. Positive Contagion
If you’re going to play the “yeah, I train MMA” angle, do so casually, and pick your connections wisely. By associating yourself with attributes and individuals with positive characteristics and affections, some of that goodness rubs off on you. Find out who the favorite fighters are among the women in the group, and focus on positive connections you have with them. Maybe you’ve trained at similar gyms, or just seen them fight live before. If your new friends have any hated fighters, obviously the opposite applies. If you’re really diligent you have a bead on all available after-parties (always be on top of that), and you can quickly invite your new friends to the one that corresponds to their favorite team/fighter.
On the flipside, make sure you’re not giving off an impression that you fight outside of training or competition. Being a thug prone to violent aggression is a huge red flag for a woman, especially someone she just met and doesn’t know. If you train, make it clear that it’s because you’re interested in fitness, have discipline for hard work, and are capable of defending yourself — not that you’ve ever needed to use it — and those characteristics will reflect positively on you. Too many men want cut to a personal “fight” story to demonstrate their manliness, and it’s a mistake every single time.
6. Ice Breakers, Friendly Competition and Closing Strategy
Obviously, advice on meeting and attracting the opposite sex must come with certain major caveats. Never, ever pester strangers. If a girl is not into you, leave her alone. Most females at MMA events are there with their boyfriends, and that’s a mess waiting to happen. You may be on the lookout for a hookup, but that doesn’t mean everyone else is. Respect boundaries, and only engage when it’s clear they’re open to meeting someone new.
Once you found some singles that you want to mingle with, use an easy ice-breaker to open the lines of communication early. MMA events are long, so you have time to on your side. Find out their level of interest in MMA from the start so you don’t embarrass yourself assuming they don’t know anything. If they actually want help in explaining what’s going on, provide it politely. If they already know what’s up, profess ignorance on a few match ups and get them explaining things to you. The more you have them talking, the more likely the conversation will progress and the easier they’ll feel in your company.
You can also begin with an upfront offering. Do they have a copy of the fight card? Do they know where the after parties are tonight? Do they need help pinpointing Dana White cageside? Who is the guy in the DJ booth? Knowledge is sexy, and offering it up early can get the conversation started.
If you’re really Machiavellian, wager a friendly round of drinks on an early prelim fight and intentionally pick the big underdog to get you buying them a round. Once you’ve done them a big favor, they’ll intrinsically like you more. Experts might keep this game going throughout the night, because having a vested interest in the fight outcome ratchets up the viewing intensity. Women respond similarly to men when it comes to competition, and winning is arousing. Intentionally lose a few prediction wagers to get them celebrating and in the best mood. “Oh, wow, you win again! You all are undercover sharps! Looks like we’re buying another round.”
Lastly, factor logistics into your closing strategy. Location and timing is critical. If you’re at a Las Vegas card, it’s your best chance to stay close and keep the party going. People going to Las Vegas are clearly there for a good time, and the combination of the Pacific time zone and late hours of the city means the night is still young. Hopefully you paced yourself, because Vegas cards are the best for inviting new friends to clubs. If you’re at a home-town event, especially on the east coast, you may need to set your goals a little lower. By the time the event finishes, it may already be last call, and your lady friends could be headed home. The goal here is to establish a follow up. Take a group photo and ask if any of them are on Twitter to tag them in it. Now at least you have a benign line of communication to follow up with. If they want a copy of fun photos, then you have a reason to get ask their number.
Some of the information contained in this guide can be found in the “Dr. SexyTime” app for iPhone and Android, a science-based sex guide and sex position choreographer for adults only! Visit MadeMan.com for more useful advice for the discerning gentleman.