Tag: aikido

Martial Arts Fail of the Week: Steven Seagal’s Russian “Masterclass” Is a Gift From Above


(Looking like a little more than a glimmer these days, eh Sensei?)

Before we get into this, the glorious return of the Martial Arts Fail of the Week, I’d like to make a couple things clear:

1.) Yes, we here at CagePotato are aware of our long, oft-vitriolic history regarding action movie star, part time police officer/school shooting survival expert, unofficial American ambassador to Russia, tax cheat, and perpetual boil on the ass of MMA, Steven Seagal. We’ve made fun of him a lot, basically — from his weight gain over the years (see above) to his rambling, hallucinatory, endlessly quotable interview snippets to that time Judo Gene made him sh*t his pants — but can you really blame us? THE MAN CLAIMS TO HAVE INVENTED THE FRONT KICK, FOR GOD’S SAKE.

2.) Despite all we’ve said about Seagal, we are not too big to overlook the man’s well-documented skills and well-earned accolades regarding said skills. He may be a literal shadow of his former self (seriously, has anyone seen him donning anything but black since, like, 2006?), but the fact remains that Seagal is one lethal sumbitch who could probably lay waste to the entire CagePotato staff without (barely) breaking a sweat.

Now that we’ve gotten all that out of the way, holy shit, you guys, you NEED to see this video of Seagal’s recent “martial arts masterclass” held in Russia.

The post Martial Arts Fail of the Week: Steven Seagal’s Russian “Masterclass” Is a Gift From Above appeared first on Cagepotato.


(Looking like a little more than a glimmer these days, eh Sensei?)

Before we get into this, the glorious return of the Martial Arts Fail of the Week, I’d like to make a couple things clear:

1.) Yes, we here at CagePotato are aware of our long, oft-vitriolic history regarding action movie star, part time police officer/school shooting survival expert, unofficial American ambassador to Russia, tax cheat, and perpetual boil on the ass of MMA, Steven Seagal. We’ve made fun of him a lot, basically — from his weight gain over the years (see above) to his rambling, hallucinatory, endlessly quotable interview snippets to that time Judo Gene made him sh*t his pants – but can you really blame us? THE MAN CLAIMS TO HAVE INVENTED THE FRONT KICK, FOR GOD’S SAKE.

2.) Despite all we’ve said about Seagal, we are not too big to overlook the man’s well-documented skills and well-earned accolades regarding said skills. He may be a literal shadow of his former self (seriously, has anyone seen him donning anything but black since, like, 2006?), but the fact remains that Seagal is one lethal sumbitch who could probably lay waste to the entire CagePotato staff without (barely) breaking a sweat.

Now that we’ve gotten all that out of the way, holy shit, you guys, you NEED to see this video of Seagal’s recent “martial arts masterclass” held in Russia.

Wow.

Woooooooooowwwwww. 

That was….insane. That was “Slap-Jitsu” levels of hilarity, with Kiai master levels of delusion thrown in for good measure. That was like, if I tried to explain the fundamental principles of aikido to someone who knew nothing about martial arts. Using origami. That I made.

I do not have any experience making origami, you guys.

God bless you, Steven Seagal. God bless you for this. For Hard to Kill and the “Anybody seen Richie?” scene in Out for Justice, but mainly for this. I’m going to add no less than 3000 views to this video’s Youtube page in the next couple of days, and if any of you Taters dare to call yourself martial arts fans, you will do the same.

The post Martial Arts Fail of the Week: Steven Seagal’s Russian “Masterclass” Is a Gift From Above appeared first on Cagepotato.

Awesome Video of the Day: Jean-Claude Van Damme Stops By Tristar Gym For a Few High Kicks

Perhaps I am just ignorant to a lot of the subtleties of Aikido, but when I watched Steven Seagal “spar” with former Strikeforce champion Rafael Cavalcante in the moments leading up to UFC 148, I was less than impressed. Though there is little doubt in my mind (none, in fact) that Sensei Seagal would absolutely destroy me in a fight, even after consuming his daily pallet of chocolate covered pretzels, when given the choice between Seagal’s deadly patty-cake shenanigans and say, the leaping, spinning roundhouse kicks of Jean-Claude Van Damme, I will choose the latter 11 times out of 10. I mean, we’re talking about the living embodiment of Colonel William F. Guile here, people. I could also get into the whole debate about how it was actually JCVD that invented the front kick, as well as the Showtime kick, only to have the techniques Milli-Vanilli’d from him by Seagal and Anthony Pettis, but I’d prefer not to filibuster my own article for the sake of argument.

But you can understand my excitement when I heard that none other than the roundhouse-kicking thespian himself recently stopped by Tristar Gym to pay Georges St. Pierre and the gang a visit and partake in some light sparring. This video was tweeted by St. Pierre yesterday, and although it is extremely light on both the sparring and actual content, it’s still the coolest twenty five seconds you’ll see all day, so just enjoy it.

As you can see, Van Damme can still wing those kicks up there and stop them on a dime, whereas I would be shocked to learn that Seagal could even lift his legs off of the ground without assistance. This of course leads to the question: If JCVD and Sensei Seagal were to throw down nowadays, who would take it and how?

–J. Jones

Perhaps I am just ignorant to a lot of the subtleties of Aikido, but when I watched Steven Seagal “spar” with former Strikeforce champion Rafael Cavalcante in the moments leading up to UFC 148, I was less than impressed. Though there is little doubt in my mind (none, in fact) that Sensei Seagal would absolutely destroy me in a fight, even after consuming his daily pallet of chocolate covered pretzels, when given the choice between Seagal’s deadly patty-cake shenanigans and say, the leaping, spinning roundhouse kicks of Jean-Claude Van Damme, I will choose the latter 11 times out of 10. I mean, we’re talking about the living embodiment of Colonel William F. Guile here, people. I could also get into the whole debate about how it was actually JCVD that invented the front kick, as well as the Showtime kick, only to have the techniques Milli-Vanilli’d from him by Seagal and Anthony Pettis, but I’d prefer not to filibuster my own article for the sake of argument.

But you can understand my excitement when I heard that none other than the roundhouse-kicking thespian himself recently stopped by Tristar Gym to pay Georges St. Pierre and the gang a visit and partake in some light sparring. This video was tweeted by St. Pierre yesterday, and although it is extremely light on both the sparring and actual content, it’s still the coolest twenty five seconds you’ll see all day, so just enjoy it.

As you can see, Van Damme can still wing those kicks up there and stop them on a dime, whereas I would be shocked to learn that Seagal could even lift his legs off of the ground without assistance. This of course leads to the question: If JCVD and Sensei Seagal were to throw down nowadays, who would take it and how?

–J. Jones

Video: As a Coach, Steven Seagal Also Doesn’t Care about His Guy’s Wrist

Props: MiddleEasy.com

Either Anderson Silva and is performing the best troll job ever by continuing to train with Steven Seagal, or being the best pound for pound fighter alive is so boring that Seagal is the only person who can motivate him to keep training. MiddleEasy posted this video today of the two training, with Seagal continuing to demonstrate his tough love coaching style. Don’t bother asking what exactly Seagal is trying to accomplish with the drill. If he’s trying to show Anderson Silva how devastating a jab can be, he’s preaching to the choir.

Frustrated that Silva (who wasn’t wearing gloves or handwraps, mind you) wasn’t punching fast enough, Seagal eventually drops Silva with a wrist throw. And by “eventually”, I mean less than thirty seconds into the session. It’s completely crazy, but what else would you expect from a guy who can market a drink called Asian Experience and a song called Alligator Ass while keeping a straight face?


Props: MiddleEasy.com 

Either Anderson Silva and is performing the best troll job ever by continuing to train with Steven Seagal, or being the best pound for pound fighter alive is so boring that Seagal is the only person who can motivate him to keep training. MiddleEasy posted this video today of the two training, with Seagal continuing to demonstrate his tough love coaching style. Don’t bother asking what exactly Seagal is trying to accomplish with the drill. If he’s trying to show Anderson Silva how devastating a jab can be, he’s preaching to the choir. 

Frustrated that Silva (who wasn’t wearing gloves or handwraps, mind you) wasn’t punching fast enough, Seagal eventually drops Silva with a wrist throw. And by “eventually”, I mean less than thirty seconds into the session. It’s completely crazy, but what else would you expect from a guy who can market a drink called Asian Experience and a song called Alligator Ass while keeping a straight face?