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FoodPotato: The UFC Fighter Drinking Guide, Part 1

(“You’ve heard of a caipirinha, right? Well, this is nothing like that.” / Photo via Sherdog)

By Chris Morse, the artist formerly known as Viva Hate

As has been clear to fans of the UFC for some time now, the organization is holding more and more events every year. The problem with this over-saturation is that it can lead to some cards that lack the firepower of others. The best solution for such events is to drink your way through them, and that is where CagePotato has you covered. After considerable research, taste testing, and taking into account various factors such as nicknames, fighting styles, and personality traits, here are some drinks to enjoy based on the UFC fighters you support…

Lyoto Machida
Dragon Piss
1 ounce Cinnamon Schnapps
3/4 ounce Butterscotch Schnapps
4 ounces Mountain Dew

Mix all ingredients and drink as a LARGE shot. Act like it was no big deal.

Soa Palelei
Incredible Hulk
2 ounces Hypnotiq
2 ounces Cognac

Pour in a glass over ice, mix and watch the magical transformation. Down a few of these, and you’ll be kissing whoever’s closest to you.

(“You’ve heard of a caipirinha, right? Well, this is nothing like that.” / Photo via Sherdog)

By Chris Morse, the artist formerly known as Viva Hate

As has been clear to fans of the UFC for some time now, the organization is holding more and more events every year. The problem with this over-saturation is that it can lead to some cards that lack the firepower of others. The best solution for such events is to drink your way through them, and that is where CagePotato has you covered. After considerable research, taste testing, and taking into account various factors such as nicknames, fighting styles, and personality traits, here are 12 cocktail recipes to enjoy based on the UFC fighters you support…

Lyoto Machida
Dragon Piss
1 ounce Cinnamon Schnapps
3/4 ounce Butterscotch Schnapps
4 ounces Mountain Dew

Mix all ingredients and drink as a LARGE shot. Act like it was no big deal.

Soa Palelei
Incredible Hulk
2 ounces Hypnotiq
2 ounces Cognac

Pour in a glass over ice, mix and watch the magical transformation. Down a few of these, and you’ll be kissing whoever’s closest to you.

Ronda Rousey
The Bitch Slap
1 ounce Vodka
1 ounce Gin
1 ounce Everclear
1 ounce Light rum
Splash of 7-Up
Lemonade to fill.

Mix all ingredients together in a glass over ice. This drink may put you down and submit you, just like Rowdy.

Donald Cerrone
Boilermaker
12 ounces beer
2 ounces Whiskey

Fill a pint glass with the beer, drop the whiskey shot in and drink it immediately. Best enjoyed on a boat.

Nate Diaz
Cry Baby Blues
4 ounces strawberry guava juice
1 ounce blue curaçao
1 ounce vodka

Mix and serve over ice, while mean-mugging strangers.

Dominick Cruz
Big Bad Voodoo Cooler
2 ounces Malibu Rum
1 ounce RedRum or other tropical fruit rums
1 ounce melon liqueur
4 ounces orange juice
4 ounces pineapple juice
A splash of soda water

Pour the Malibu, RedRum, and melon liquor in a glass of ice, top with your juices and soda water. Stir with a swizzle stick and enjoy. Just don’t end up injuring yourself like Cruz.

Conor McGregor
Irish Car Bomb
3/4 pint of Guinness
1/2 ounce Irish cream
1/2 ounce Irish Whiskey

Pour the Guinness is a pint glass and the Irish Cream and whiskey in a shot glass, drop the shot in the Guinness, and enjoy!

Wanderlei Silva
The Axe Murderer
3/4 ounce rum
3/4 ounce apple juice
3/4 ounce gin
1 splash soda
1 splash tequila
1 splash orange liqueur
1 splash vodka
1 splash peach liqueur
1 splash amaretto
1 splash grenadine

Mix all ingredients in an old fashioned glass. Run out the side door when it’s time to close out your tab.

Alan Belcher
Johnny Cash
3 ounces bourbon
2 ounces beer
4 ounces Jack Daniel’s
1 ounce 7-Up

Shake ingredients and then strain into a glass. This drink will mess you up worse than his tattoo.

Robbie Lawler
Corpse Reviver
1 1/2 ounces brandy
1/2 ounce Fernet Branca
1 ounce White Creme de Menthe

In a mixing glass filled with ice, combine all ingredients, stir and strain into a cocktail glass. Talk wistfully about the old days. Fall asleep.

Chan Sung Jung
The Walking Dead
2 ounces vodka
2 ounces scotch whisky
2 ounces Jim Beam bourbon whiskey
2 ounces Irish cream
2 ounces melon liqueur
2 ounces lager
2 ounces Jaegermeister
2 ounces absinthe
2 ounces Wild Turkey bourbon whiskey

Mix all ingredients in a large mug, drink as quickly as possible. Stumble home with your arms stretched in front of you.

Demetrious Johnson
The Mighty Mouse
3/4 ounce cinnamon schnapps
3/4 ounce Jaegermeister
1/4 ounce Everclear

In a 2 ounce shot glass start with the cinnamon schnapps, then pour in the Jaegermeister, top with Everclear, light on fire, then blow out the flame and drink the shot. Powerful but small, like Johnson himself.

Try out these drinks, leave your feedback in the comment section below, and of course drink responsibly, Potato Nation. Also, let me know your favorite fighters for future installments of the drinking guide.

Selling Booze and Signing Boobs, Georges St-Pierre Is Enjoying His Retirement Responsibly

(Props: YouTube.com/poundforpoundmma)

By Brian J. D’Souza

Despite taking a break from the UFC Octagon, former welterweight champion Georges St-Pierre has been busier than ever throughout 2014. In recent weeks, he’s spoken out about lax drug testing protocols within the sport, cornered his friend Francis Carmont in Brazil, been the subject of a new documentary, and this Tuesday in Toronto, GSP was on hand at The Fifth pub to promote his partnership with rum maker Bacardi.

“Started drinking Bacardi even before I was associated with them,” quipped the French-Canadian superstar to a crowded room of VIP guests and media members.

The event was representative of the new era in St-Pierre’s life: Instead of being at the beck and call of a promoter, GSP is proud of the fact that he can leave his cell phone unattended for a week. Defending his UFC title was a Sisyphean task; St-Pierre claims his mental health deteriorated under the numerous demands being a professional fighter placed him under.

“I’m very happy where I am right now,” said St-Pierre, speaking to Sportsnet’s Joe Ferraro.

(GSP, living every retiree’s dream. Photo via TerezOwens. Click for full-size version.)

(Props: YouTube.com/poundforpoundmma)

By Brian J. D’Souza

“Started drinking Bacardi even before I was associated with them,” quipped the French-Canadian superstar to a crowded room of VIP guests and media members.

“I’m very happy where I am right now,” said St-Pierre, speaking to Sportsnet’s Joe Ferraro.

(GSP, living every retiree’s dream. Photo via TerezOwens. Click for full-size version.)

From the post-fight presser for UFC 167 all the way through to the Bacardi event, St-Pierre has been on a roll when it comes to shattering the sacred cows of the MMA game. When he criticized the lack of effective drug testing in the sport, many media members privately supported St-Pierre. It’s strange that journalists don’t use their platforms to illustrate the areas of MMA that need to be fixed, though.

While it’s subtle, St-Pierre has also been careful to let the media know that he usually deals with UFC majority owner Lorenzo Fertitta (“Lorenzo is the boss”) rather than president and front man Dana White. White’s profanity-laced rhetoric often makes him a prominent lighting rod for criticism. Yet he owns just 9 percent of Zuffa, and as St-Pierre alludes to, major decisions are either made or sanctioned by Fertitta.

A lifelong fan of Mike Tyson, St-Pierre was wearing a ‘Roots of Fight’ Mike Tyson sweatshirt. In his autobiography, Tyson reflected about the tumultuous journey of ups and downs that left him contemplating retirement just after his fight with Pinklon Thomas in 1987.

“I should have retired then, but I didn’t have control of my own life,” claimed Tyson.

Everyone is looking for the reason that Georges St-Pierre stopped fighting. Was it due to a lawsuit from his former manager, the abrasive criticism from Dana White, obsessive compulsive disorder or migraines pointing to brain damage? A better question is why a rational person would start competing in MMA in the first place.

By comparison, when an athlete like Michael Jordan succeeds in a major sports league like the NBA, the narrative in the news and among fans is that Jordan’s own talent was the deciding factor. Certainly, Jordan’s teammates, coaches, the team owner and assorted NBA officials play a role, but they don’t get equal billing. In MMA, the fighters are often regarded as chattels who owe their existence to the promoter’s generosity — a situation that the lack of competing promotions and absence of federal legislation to protect MMA fighters continues to reinforce.

When St-Pierre was done with his media interviews at the Bacardi event, he gave a speech and opted to mingle throughout the crowd. Instead of being able to easily circulate, he was swarmed by a frenzied crowd. Some were probably not even MMA fans — just ordinary people drawn into the swirling vortex of celebrity obsession who needed fodder for their own social media newsfeeds.

St-Pierre might have been uncomfortable with the crush of the crowd, but he is highly attuned to the reality that his relevance is at a major peak. After all, as much as Dana White talks up Ronda Rousey as “the biggest star we’ve ever had,” Rousey has little chance of replicating the pay-per-view numbers that GSP pulled throughout his years as the UFC’s welterweight champion.

The Bacardi campaign has a line fitting for the fight game, “Know your limits.” In the prime of his career, Mike Tyson was a relentless alcoholic who did everything to excess until it blew up in his face. It’s part of Tyson’s legacy as a fighter that he stayed around boxing too long and experienced losses to subpar opponents near the end of his career.

Does Georges St-Pierre know his limits? Or will he live out the tragic arc that so many fighters before him have endured?

Only time will tell.

**********

Brian J. D’Souza is the author of the recently published book Pound for Pound: The Modern Gladiators of Mixed Martial Arts. You can check out an excerpt right here.

Clay Guida to Drop to Featherweight, Expects Early 2013 Return

(Careful Clay, all those fruity, sugary, woman drinks ironically go right to the hips.)

On the heels of a razor thin split decision loss to Gray Maynard at UFC on FX 4, his second loss to top tier competition in as many fights, it appears that everybody’s favorite energizer bunny/alcoholic, Clay Guida, will be dropping to featherweight for his next fight. Although no debut date or opponent have been decided as of this write up, Guida told MMAJunkie that he expects to make his featherweight debut sometime in early 2013.

Prior to his current two fight skid, Guida racked up four straight wins over such names as former PRIDE lightweight kingpin Takanori Gomi and former WEC lightweight champion Anthony Pettis among others, pulling in two Submission of the Night awards in the process and bringing his total award count to 7.

(Careful Clay, all those fruity, sugary, woman drinks ironically go right to the hips.)

His most recent fight with Maynard was, at the risk of overusing the term, “Starnesian” to say the least — consisting of long periods of inactivity and avoidance (one which earned him a timidity warning from referee Dan Miragliotta) punctuated by the occasional combination — and was criticized by both the fans and Dana White, who declared the contest to be “a blowout for Maynard” and “not a fight” at all. Personally, I think Guida was simply protesting the decision that forced him to braid his hair, which was a goddamned travesty in every sense of the word. That being said, a good percentage of the viewing audience still scored the fight in favor of Guida, because denial is a powerful, powerful thing (insert vitriol filled “hack journalist”, “fool”, and “disgrace to MMA writers around the world” comments here). In either case, you have to imagine Guida will be looking to impress both the audience and his supreme overlord in his next bout.

Given that the featherweight division, not unlike most divisions, is still residing beneath an absent champion, Guida’s presence at 145 could cause a lot of waves in the title landscape. Now that Frankie Edgar has been left without a dance partner for his big debut, who would like to see him face Guida while Jose recovers from his joyriding accident?

–J. Jones

Awesome Story of the Day: James “The Colossus” Thompson Recalls Getting Drunk with Fedor

(Turns out the only thing that parties like a jockey is the Colossus Lumberjockey.)

I know that “The Unexpected Cosign” is a Complex Magazine’s shtick, but do I ever have one for you today.

As some of you may know, when English heavyweight James “The Colossus” Thompson isn’t busy smashing freaks and fools, he’s updating his blog, Colossal Concerns. Given his workingman personality and some of the nasty knockouts he’s been on the receiving end of, I half expected it to read “Mummba jummba slave to the white man mummba mummba jummba.” But believe it or not, it’s an incredibly well written, insightful blog. Then again, if you’ve been following him on Twitter, you probably aren’t surprised at all by this.

Last night, he offered fans a detailed analysis of Fedor’s career. It’s a pretty entertaining piece that examines the fine line between Fedor the Legend and Fedor the Can Crusher. Oh, and James Thompson totally drank with “The Last Emperor” this one time.

Take it away, James:

I’ll leave you with a story of mine from when we both fought on Pride shock waves 2006. I had beaten Yoshida on the NYE Pride show and had come back to the hotel early from cerebrating as I was drained and I’d had enough for the night. As I entered the hotel lobby Fedor was standing front and centre swaying from side to side, he straightened up as I came through the doors and looked up towards me. I started moving from foot to foot as if he was still swaying and he burst out laughing at this and beckoned me towards him. As I approached him he lightly grabbed me and we started play fighting in the lobby, it was only messing around however I’d be lying if didn’t say a small part of me was praying he wasn’t a violent drunk and that he wouldn’t snap and sambo throw me on to the cold hard floor of the hotel lobby. If the Truth be told I was actually checking the floor during our ‘play fight to see if there was a softer part of it for me to land on should things have started to go wrong!

(Turns out the only thing that parties like a jockey is the Colossus Lumberjockey.)

I know that “The Unexpected Cosign” is a Complex Magazine’s shtick, but do I ever have one for you today.

Take it away, James:

After we’d stopped with the play fighting, Fedor beckoned me towards his table which was in a kind of Lounge area with sofas and chairs crowded around a coffee table. I said hello to the inhabitants who were all Russian males that didn’t speak any English- apart from Fedors manager Vadim Finkelstein who spoke good English. Fedor picked up a sports bag and placed it on the coffee table in front of us all. I could tell from the clinging and clanging of glass that his Mma kit wasn’t in it. A couple of his Russian mates went to get glasses & Fedor started to produce these strange shaped glass bottles from his kit bag. What struck me as odd was that none of these bottles had labels on and you could tell that they weren’t bought down the local off license; they reminded me of bottles you might find in a pharmacy. As Fedor brought out all these bottles of different shapes and sizes I could tell which ones were the strongest (or the favourites) by the gasps and applause each bottle would receive. Fedor delved in to his bag of tricks once again and produced a square bottle which had Smokey dark blue glass and a long narrow neck. But what I really noticed was the reaction of the group, as for a second they were silenced- before hushed gasps of shock and Awe reverberated around the table.

Fedor held this bottle up as if it was the world cup before cuddling it in his arms as if it was a new born child and this brought laughter. He poured a large amount in to one of the glasses -I’m not sure if smoke came off the liquid as it was poured or if I’m just embellishing that part for the story, but what I do remember was that the liquid was clear and handed over the table to me by Fedor with great care. All eyes were now focused on the Englishman and I felt like I was part of some experiment and seeing that I know how seriously Russians take their drinking; I didn’t want to spoil my street cred by asking if they had any Orange juice to mix with it. I was somewhat nervous of the drink that lay before me, so I pictured that what was in the glass was the ‘secret elixir to what made Fedor great’ and by consuming what was in the glass, it would have the same effect on me. With these thoughts I threw back my head and downed it in one.

Now bear in mind this wasn’t a shot glass, it was a normal sized glass filled half full (not half empty). As the contents of the glass filled my mouth, my tongue recoiled and looked for a place to hide. The burning sensation I felt in my mouth, then throat, then chest was overwhelming but I’m English and we too pride ourselves on our drinking ability and even if It was petrol that he’d given me to drink (which is not completely impossible judging by the taste) I was downing this fucker of a drink, not just for my own honour but for the honour of England! I slammed down my glass, gave my head a shake and with the machoness I thought eastern Europeans would recognise, I tipped my glass implying that I wanted another one… which was the last thing I wanted. My new Russian friends loved this and patted my head as I ran my tongue over my teeth to check were still there. Fedor laughed at this and poured me another healthy glass of evil.

With that Josh Barnett came into our drinking area, he had fought Big Nog earlier and lost a close decision. Josh and Fedor had talked and straightened out some problems they’d had the day before and in the process they realised they actually got on very well (I knew this as my trainer/manager at the time had arranged their talk). Fedor greeted Barnett like a long lost brother. He pulled up a chair for him and poured him a drink. I was pleased with this as it meant the Russians had a new westerner to experiment on, plus it gave me a minute to collect myself- which was needed as whatever it was that had been pushed in my direction a minute earlier was coursing though my veins and making me blink a lot for some bizarre reason!.

I talked to a mixture of people for 30 minutes or so which seems strange when I look back as there were only three people that spoke English including myself! I was still tired and I had to be up early in the morning for a stupid o clock flight home. My room (which was my original destination) for the second time that night, became my goal. I was saying my goodbyes to all my new friends when Fedor appeared and pointed to the (my) glass which I hadn’t touched since giving it the ‘big un’ half an hour previously in front of everyone. I felt a massive weight suddenly hang over my head again, I looked at Fedor pleadingly but he just held his glass up and tipped it just like I had done. I pick up my glass clinked it with Fedor and once again downed this un-godly liquid. It again felt like I was trying to down hot coals and I half expected my liver to write me a note whilst I slept that night stating that he could no longer take the abuse! Fedor tried to make me have another drink but I’d said my goodbyes and I stumbled off to my room… I’m sure this thing I call the ‘Russian turpentine ordeal’ wasn’t a big deal for Fedor as he was just being himself and I doubt that he would hardly even remember all this, but for me it was a big deal and I love my story and appreciate Fedor taking the time and just being able to have a laugh. For me, this doesn’t make him a great champion…but it definitely adds to it.

Your move, you guys.

@SethFalvo

Michael Bisping Literally Cannot Decide Who He Wants to Call Out Next, Chooses Chris Weidman This Time

(*dial tone* Alcohol affects the memory.)

Newton’s third law of motion states that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Over the past few months, everyone from Tim Boetsch to Alan Belcher to Brian Stann have called out soft-spoken middleweight Michael Bisping, and we honestly can’t understand why. The man is a kind, yet misunderstood human being with great taste in music who has never come off as anything but respectful for as long as we’ve known him. As it goes in prison, they always seem to pick on the nice guy who doesn’t really belong there.

Recently, however, it appears that Bisping has had enough, and has turned the tables on the bullies that simply wont let him be, threatening to kick not only Stann’s ass, but calling out Hector Lombard (sort of), then Anderson Silva, and now Chris Weidman as well. Apparently fed up with all of the “respect” Weidman was receiving for “finishing” a fight against a “top” contender, Bisping took to Twitter to vent his frustrations:

Weidman looked great last night. But no1 contender? If that’s the case I want to fight him and prove I’m the number 1 contender. Let’s do it.

(*dial tone* Alcohol affects the memory.)

Weidman looked great last night. But no1 contender? If that’s the case I want to fight him and prove I’m the number 1 contender. Let’s do it.

Now, we understand that Bisping may very well think that he’s the number one contender, despite the fact that his last win against a top or even upper-tier middleweight dates back to, you know, never, but this is getting a little redundant at this point, is it not? Bisping has called out everyone within eyeshot of a title over the past few weeks, and we think we’ve finally gotten to the root of “The Count’s” problems — multiple personality disorder. For each embittered d-bag that lies within his soul, he calls out one fighter, and it appears that even he is beginning to lose track of his preposterous claims. Why else would Bisping be seen giving Silva mad drunken props backstage at UFC 148 just moments before telling Ariel Helwani that he thought Silva’s knee was illegal and that he could do way better against him than Chael Sonnen, a.k.a the last man he lost to?

(Skip to the 47 second mark.)

Respect: It’s an acquired skill.

To be fair, Bisping also did state that he thought Andy was “amazing,” so perhaps we’re being a little harsh on the Brit, as we are apt to do. But that still doesn’t explain why Bisping had to essentially kick Mark Munoz while he was down in a recent interview with FightersOnly:

And now Chris Weidman is calling me out. Well, he’s on a roll but I don’t think a win over a fat Mark Munoz makes you a contender. Especially when Munoz has bounced into the Octagon like he’s at a Take That concert and with a haircut that looks like Belcher’s tattooist has switched careers. Did that distract him? It distracted me. I couldn’t take my eyes off it. What was it supposed to be, do you know? Everyone’s talking about Weidman today but I tell you what, we were on the same card in January and I had to switch his fight with Maia off. I was trying to warm up backstage and the fight was putting me to sleep. I wanted to get hyped up and it was like watching paint dry. He looked good last night – or did Munoz look awful?

Jesus Christ, Michael. First off, Weidman did not call you out. He called out Anderson Silva. YOU just called HIM out. And as for his fight with Demian Maia, perhaps you have forgotten that Weidman took the fight on just eleven days notice. It appears we can throw a little early onset dementia into the mix of potential mental diseases Bisping is suffering from as well.

All we’re saying is, if Bisping wants to fight Belcher, Boetsch, or Stann, because they actually did call him out, then he should stick with one of those fights and just shut the hell up. You’d have to be crazy to think he deserves a shot at Anderson, but if he wants to take on Weidman to prove that he does (granted you feel that Weidman is the true #1 contender), then he should simply stick to that theory and shut the hell up. His solution to all of this, of course, is to fight all of these bums in one night:

Yeah it seems like I am the man of the moment right now doesn’t it? That’s fine by me, I’m a professional fighter and I’ve not been busy enough lately to be honest so, I will happily fight all three of them – Stann, Weidman and Belcher can all have it. I’ve got no problem fighting and beating all three of them, either on three consecutive cards or all on one night if they want. Listen, Belcher’s getting on my nerves. He keeps saying he has got the style to beat me – what style? No man with a tattoo like that can talk to anyone about style! He’s been calling me out for a while now so I’d say to him, when you beat someone other than a pure jiu jitsu guy then call me. Brian Stann I respect, fine, I think we are on collision course and we can have that fight. I’ll win.

They all seem like nice guys, good luck to them – except Belcher, he’s been getting on my nerves so lets not include him [in the good luck wishes] – but I will happily fight them all, no problem. I want to be the champion and I think I am one more win away from a title shot. And any of these guys can be my first defences.

So wait, none of these guys have earned a shot against Silva, but once you become champion (lolz), then they can fight for the title?

–J. Jones

Tony Ferguson Blames Alcohol, Adrenaline, and His Own Father for ‘TUF 13? Meltdown

There’s a very good chance that Tony Ferguson will be the next winner of The Ultimate Fighter. So it’s a shame that his primary legacy from the show — at least for the people who actually watched it — is the moment from this week’s episode when he attacked his own teammate Charlie Rader then needled Rader about having his son taken from him. It was particularly shocking because Ferguson hadn’t previously shown any signs of being a mean-spirited drunk. Now, he has to expect a small chorus of boos when he enters the Octagon at the Palms Casino Resort in Las Vegas next Saturday. In his guest blog for SBNation.com, Ferguson tried to explain the circumstances that transformed him from humble front-runner to TUF 13‘s biggest heel:

You first have to understand we started drinking not long after we had just got done fighting. We had also done the semi-final picks. I think part of me brought the fight home since my real fight with Ryan ended so fast. When you bring alcohol into the mix, it was just bad from there.

We all drank a lot. It started out with shots of Patron and moved to Jim Beam. Miller Lites were mixed in the entire time. We weren’t just drinking to relax. We were going hard core. Everyone was drinking, too, although maybe not as much as some of us.

Things got out of hand fast. My adrenaline was still going. Things were beginning to escalate around me. They didn’t show this, but Shamar Bailey got pissed after Ramsey started dancing on him. That helped to set things in motion.

Throughout the show, I tried to keep calm and poised. I excused myself from a lot of conversations or just insane bulls–t. I was trying to stay focused.

That all went away fast. Charlie Rader poured water on my head, but at the time I thought it was beer. I couldn’t understand why he would do something like that, even as minor as it may seem now. I had a short fuse. I’m usually not like that. When I saw myself, it was honestly kind of creepy.

Unfortunately, everyone saw The Boogeyman came out. That’s a side of my personality I usually only see in the cage, but somehow Charlie brought it out in real life. Something just snapped and I thought “This guy is your enemy now”. Rather than try to bring people close to me, I was pushing everyone away.

Why did I bring up Charlie’s son? I have no idea, but I have a guess. My birth father wasn’t there for me growing up. Somehow Charlie’s situation mixed in with my adrenaline from fighting and the booze all worked together to bring up my own issues. I learned a lot about myself watching that on tape and how I felt about certain things in my life. I was under a lot of pressure, I was trying to bottle up frustration and it didn’t work. Well, it worked for a while, but ultimately did not.

I said some things I shouldn’t have said. I was in a weird place. I was having crazy dreams in that house. The entire experience took me out of my own independence and removed all of my release valves.

I really regret saying what I said to Charlie and we’ve talked about it since the incident. I’ve spoke to Clay Harvison and Chuck, too. We are in a better place now than we were that night.

Part of me feels like this is what the producers wanted. Every season there is someone who cracks. It sucks it had to be me, but I’ve never lived in a house full of fighters competing against each other. That alcohol is also there for a reason. Maybe subconsciously I needed that to happen so I could fight Charlie and Chuck who were my friends in the house at the time.

The really weird part was how drunk I got. When I woke up the next morning, I didn’t remember much. I had a scar on my left arm, didn’t know where it came from. I started cleaning up and was basically none the wiser. But no one wanted to talk to me and who can blame them?

The last I will say is maybe all of this is related to me growing up angry. I only met my father two years ago. But I never wanted to bore anyone with my stories. My attitude was that no one cares about my problems, so I’ll just keep them to myself. That didn’t work, but that’s what I was working with when I was in the house at that time.

I’m sorry to all who I disappointed, but I want you all to know I haven’t had a drink at all during this camp. I’m training hard and staying on track. I’m living a healthy life, physically and emotionally. Thanks for all of the support over these past few weeks and watching me fight. If you want to contact me, get at me on Twitter or Facebook.