(I’ll just sit here and be quiet, just in case they do… suspect me. They’re probably watching me. Well, let them. Let them see what kind of a person I am. I’m not even going to swat that fly. I hope they are watching… they’ll see. They’ll see and they’ll know, and they’ll say, “Why, he wouldn’t even harm a fly…”)
After suffering the greatest loss of his storied mixed martial arts career last month — that of his dignity — when he was found nude inside a Mission Viejo church he had destroyed and doused with a fire extinguisher, it appears that charges are finally being pressed against former UFC/Strikeforce fighter and MTV psuedo-reality show host Jason Miller. And they are relatively modest considering both the circumstances of his arrest and the fact that this wasn’t Miller’s first rodeo, if you know what we mean; Miller is being charged with just one count of misdemeanor vandalism for his actions, and is set to appear in court on November 21st.
“Mayhem,” who was released from jail following a brief psychological evaluation, promised to his fans and those concerned that “everything was fine” and that he was “with people that love me, and hope that you will join me. If I ever hurt anyone, I am sorry,” in his first public statement, but hasn’t been heard from since. Fun fact: Miller was arrested almost one year to the day after his aforementioned arrest for putting his sister in a headlock. Apparently that August heat really does drive some people crazy.
Elsewhere on the MMA blotter…
To say that the circumstances surrounding flyweight contender Ian McCall’s recent arrest were suspicious would be like saying that Ian McCall’s nickname is an accurate reflection of the vibe he gives off. The charges that were originally reported to be facing McCall ranged everywhere from possession of drug paraphernalia to driving on a suspended license and mislead the public into suspecting that McCall had fallen back into old habits.
When it turned out that the charges dated way back to a previous arrest in 2008 which McCall had failed to complete the terms of, “Uncle Creepy” was surprised to say the least, but claimed that the reasoning behind his arrest was much more sinister than we were originally led on, according to a recent interview during The MMA Hour:
They thought I was a drug dealer. Don’t know why. Well, actually, I know why. Someone that doesn’t like me told them I was a drug dealer. An actual drug dealer that doesn’t like me got busted — I’ve seen the paperwork — and said ‘oh, he’s a drug dealer too.’
And they came over to my house and they didn’t find any drugs, they didn’t find any text messages, they didn’t find anything bad. So they’re like ‘okay, you’re not a drug dealer, but your probation officer said to come get you anyways because you have a suspended license.
Oh, I see. The police used the classic method of dropping a fake bombshell to soften the blow for the actual bad news, a technique pioneered by the great Frank Reynolds. As much as I’d like to rake them over the coals for such tomfoolery, I used the same method to tell a former girlfriend of mine that she should get checked for HIV, when in fact I had only given her herpes, so who am I to judge?
And as was the case for me, McCall admits that the whole experience was “embarrassing”:
Them taking me away in front of my daughter and my wife. They tore my house apart, they tore my car apart. I guess they were following me from the gym, and they said, ‘oh, it would be more embarrassing if you got arrested in front of your gym.’ Well I’d much rather be arrested in front of my gym, where my coach is a lawyer, compared to me being arrested at my house, in front of my neighbors and my daughter. I don’t know. Cops are stupid, and they really just wanted to come to the house and search the house. But, again, I’m not a drug dealer and I’m not being charged with selling drugs.
Although McCall managed to get out 13 days early from this 30-day sentence, the trials and tribulations of Sir Floyd Mayweather have taught us that McCall’s stay likely depleted him physically to the point that he will never fight again, so we might as well start breaking out his highlight reels and call it a day…
…what’s that? McCall didn’t act like a trifling little bitch in jail, but simply served the time he was required to? You don’t say:
I couldn’t sleep in there. I got maybe like an hour of sleep a day, for the first ten days. I remember just sitting up and I was like, ‘what the hell am I doing here. I don’t belong here. This isn’t where I’m supposed to be right now. I’m should be at the gym, at least getting punched in the face, if not punching someone in the face. I’m supposed to be doing better things with my life, and creating a life for my family.
There’s nothing set in stone. I wanted to fight in November, but I think because of the UFC 151 debacle, I wont be able to fight until January. But there’s a lot of flyweight fights coming up until then, so, I don’t mean to be mean, but hopefully someone breaks a pinky toe or something so I can step in and hurt somebody.
Here’s hoping, Ian. Let’s just hope that toe break doesn’t look anything like this.
