(Only in a freakshow match like this would you hear an audience member ask “What’s he waiting for?” after approximately 4 seconds of fighting.)
Yesterday, the world was introduced to a man by the name of Nick Capes (which based on his fighting style, we can only assume is a pseudonym for Greg “Ranger” Stott), a hapless marshmallow of a man who somehow found himself in a boxing match against former Atlanta Falcons defensive end Ray Edwards. The results were hilarious, not in the Mark Kerr vs. Ranger Stott kind of way, but in the Dan Severn vs. Shannon Ritch kind of way. Capes flopped is what we’re saying. He flopped hard. Capes flopped so hard, in fact, that he has since been indefinitely suspended from boxing in North Dakota, which should give him plenty of time to continue pushing the fighting style of RIP on methed out tweekers near and far. As TwinCities.com reports:
Combative Sports Commissioner Al Jaeger says a video review of the fight between Nicholas Capes and a much larger Ray Edwards clearly shows Capes was not hit before he dropped to the canvas. Officials are continuing to investigate.
By “continuing to investigate,” we assume they mean “emailing this video to their entire contacts list with a subject line reading Re: Fatty takes a tumble LOLZ.“
(Only in a freakshow match like this would you hear an audience member ask “What’s he waiting for?” after approximately 4 seconds of fighting.)
Yesterday, the world was introduced to a man by the name of Nick Capes (which based on his fighting style, we can only assume is a pseudonym for Greg “Ranger” Stott), a hapless marshmallow of a man who somehow found himself in a boxing match against former Atlanta Falcons defensive end Ray Edwards. The results were hilarious, not in the Mark Kerr vs. Ranger Stott kind of way, but in the Dan Severn vs. Shannon Ritch kind of way. Capes flopped is what we’re saying. He flopped hard. Capes flopped so hard, in fact, that he has since been indefinitely suspended from boxing in North Dakota, which should give him plenty of time to continue pushing the fighting style of RIP on methed out tweekers near and far. As TwinCities.com reports:
Combative Sports Commissioner Al Jaeger says a video review of the fight between Nicholas Capes and a much larger Ray Edwards clearly shows Capes was not hit before he dropped to the canvas. Officials are continuing to investigate.
By “continuing to investigate,” we assume they mean “emailing this video to their entire contacts list with a subject line reading Re: Fatty takes a tumble LOLZ.”
In the original Pioneer Press piece, event promoter Cory Rapacz was quoted as saying that the backlash aimed at Capes was “unfair.” However, upon reviewing the footage a couple hundred times like the rest of us, even Rapacz was forced to admit that “Turbo Tax” deserves whatever criticism that is likely headed his way in the coming weeks:
I was the promoter of the event in West Fargo, ND on Saturday night. I was misquoted. I said the criticism of Edwards is unfair. Not the criticism of Nick Capes. Thank you.
No, thank you, Cory. Thank you for providing us with a lifetime’s worth of memories in just 13 seconds of fight footage. Not since — and I’m just spitballing here — Ranger Stott vs. Mark Kerr have I been so entertained by a 50-pound mismatch that ended in triumphantly anticlimactic fashion. Other than my high school prom night, of course.
I have seen some incredible flops in my day, Potato Nation. I’ve watched nearly 1000 hours of World Cup soccer, I spent two summers in the 90’s at the Vlade Divac School of Basketball, and I even made it through the first 40 minutes of Cloud Atlas before I faked a stroke to get out of that God forsaken theater. But believe me when I say that nothing, nothing I’ve come across compares to the flop that took place during former Atlanta Falcons defensive end Ray Edwards’ most recent boxing match.
Edwards — who was released by the Falcons in November — was actually competing in his third professional boxing match last Saturday. But like Kimbo Slice and morenotably Aleksander Emelianenko before him, the opponents being put before Edwards all seem to be suffering from various degrees of sudden onset narcolepsy. Here’s a video of Edwards’ second fight against Corey Briggs, a man I can only assume has since lost at least a foot to diabetes. And if you think that looked fishy, just wait until you see his most recent farce.
I have seen some incredible flops in my day, Potato Nation. I’ve watched nearly 1000 hours of World Cup soccer, I spent two summers in the 90′s at the Vlade Divac School of Basketball, and I even made it through the first 40 minutes of Cloud Atlas before I faked a stroke to get out of that God forsaken theater. But believe me when I say that nothing, nothing I’ve come across compares to the flop that took place during former Atlanta Falcons defensive end Ray Edwards’ most recent boxing match.
Edwards — who was released by the Falcons in November — was actually competing in his third professional boxing match last Saturday. But like Kimbo Slice and morenotably Aleksander Emelianenko before him, the opponents being put before Edwards all seem to be suffering from various degrees of sudden onset narcolepsy. Here’s a video of Edwards’ second fight against Corey Briggs, a man I can only assume has since lost at least a foot to diabetes. And if you think that looked fishy, just wait until you see his most recent farce.
Video below.
According to Edwards’ Wikipedia page, the portly trout seen taking an Oscar-level dive here goes by Nick “Turbo Tax” Capes, who is both Edwards’ accountant and was “knocked out with a stuff breeze” for filing his client’s taxes incorrectly. And while some of this information is clearly the work of an anonymous — not to mention genius — troll out there, we’d like to congratulate Capes for not only creating a new category for this year’s Potato Awards (Flop of the Year) with his effort here, but for already securing both the first and last place on the list of nominees.
Seriously, have any of you ever seen a more egregious dive than this one before? Video link or GTFO.
Yesterday, I went a little off the beaten path and covered the world of professional wrestling, specifically Brock Lesnar’s re-signing with the WWE and subsequent F-5ing of company President Vince McMahon. Although the video was unquestionably hilarious, most of you guys (at least those who took the time to comment) were not able to set aside your MMA bias for even a second to enjoy it. And it’s a shame, because even if Air Force One is your all-time favorite film, does that mean you cannot occasionally enjoy the goofball satirical humor of Airplane? Please don’t delve any further into that terrible analogy, but of all the websites to cover the Lesnar story (and therewerea few), I was kind of surprised that the audience of the “comedic” one had the least sense of humor about it.
So I’m not sure how you’ll take the news that TUF 10 veteran Kimbo Slice returned to the world of boxing last night, or the fact that we’ve decided to devote yetanotherarticle to it. On one hand, Kimbo is at least competing in a “real” sport after leaving the UFC. On the other, he is as tenuously connected to the world of MMA as Lesnar is these days, so perhaps we should just ignore him. On the third hand, Slice’s most recent fight against Australian-based journeyman Shane Tilyard was fucking awesome. As is usually the case in a Slice fight, things weren’t exactly pretty, but boy were they entertaining (for a round or so). For Christ’s sake, Kimbo attempted two takedowns in the fight. If you can’t appreciate that kind of irony, then we are just not the same kind of fight fans.
Yesterday, I went a little off the beaten path and covered the world of professional wrestling, specifically Brock Lesnar’s re-signing with the WWE and subsequent F-5ing of company President Vince McMahon. Although the video was unquestionably hilarious, most of you guys (at least those who took the time to comment) were not able to set aside your MMA bias for even a second to enjoy it. And it’s a shame, because even if Air Force One is your all-time favorite film, does that mean you cannot occasionally enjoy the goofball satirical humor of Airplane? Please don’t delve any further into that terrible analogy, but of all the websites to cover the Lesnar story (and therewerea few), I was kind of surprised that the audience of the “comedic” one had the least sense of humor about it.
So I’m not sure how you’ll take the news that TUF 10 veteran Kimbo Slice returned to the world of boxing last night, or the fact that we’ve decided to devote yetanotherarticle to it. On one hand, Kimbo is at least competing in a “real” sport after leaving the UFC. On the other, he is as tenuously connected to the world of MMA as Lesnar is these days, so perhaps we should just ignore him. On the third hand, Slice’s most recent fight against Australian-based journeyman Shane Tilyard was fucking awesome. As is usually the case in a Slice fight, things weren’t exactly pretty, but boy were they entertaining (for a round or so). For Christ’s sake, Kimbo attempted two takedowns in the fight. If you can’t appreciate that kind of irony, then we are just not the same kind of fight fans.
Video below.
(Fight starts at the 3 minute mark. Video courtesy of Zombie Prophet.)
So kids, what have we learned today?
1. Kimbo still hits pretty damn hard.
2. Kimbo’s cardio still sucks, but at 38 years old, we’re not going to knock the guy for it, and are actually going to commend Kimbo for the incredible display of heart he showed after getting rocked.
3. Despite Bas Rutten’s preaching for years now, it seems that fighters are just starting to warm up to the concept of the liver shot. First Anthony Pettis KO’s Cowboy with a liver kick and now Kimbo finishes Titties 2.0 with a nasty hook to the body.
While most of you reading this were busy watching the UFC last night, boxing fans throughout the country tuned in to watch Pacquiao/Marquez IV. It’s still too early to tell which sport came out on top in terms of the ratings, but regardless, boxing fans were treated to a dramatic sixth round knockout from one of its greatest active fighters. And no, Pacquiao wasn’t the fighter dishing it out.
Juan Manuel Marquez arguably defeated Manny Pacquiao during their third meeting, but came up short on the scorecards, losing a majority decision. This time around, Marquez took no chances, knocking out Pacquiao with an overhand right with only one second left in round six. Pacquiao, who has now lost back-to-back fights for the first time in his career (although the Bradley decision was pretty absurd), has no plans to retire, although we’ll have to wait and see what this loss does to his marketability.
Video awaits after the jump.
While most of you reading this were busy watching the UFC last night, boxing fans throughout the country tuned in to watch Pacquiao/Marquez IV. It’s still too early to tell which sport came out on top in terms of the ratings, but regardless, boxing fans were treated to a dramatic sixth round knockout from one of its greatest active fighters. And no, Pacquiao wasn’t the fighter dishing it out.
Juan Manuel Marquez arguably defeated Manny Pacquiao during their third meeting, but came up short on the scorecards, losing a majority decision. This time around, Marquez took no chances, knocking out Pacquiao with an overhand right with only one second left in round six. Pacquiao, who has now lost back-to-back fights for the first time in his career (although the Bradley decision was pretty absurd), has no plans to retire, although we’ll have to wait and see what this loss does to his marketability.
Video awaits after the jump.
So where does Pacquiao go from here? And were you more entertained by Pacquiao/Marquez IV or UFC on Fox 5? Let us know which sport you think came out on top last night.
In one corner, you have the UFC with a stacked card, but still struggling to live up to the hype as far as ratings go. In the other corner, you have boxing, the aging champ of combat sports. While struggling to stay relevant, it is still a dominant force with two bankable stars who won’t fight each other.
It is no mistake that the UFC has put together a PPV-worthy card to be aired free to the masses. You’ve got a title fight in what is arguably the most competitive weight class in the sport. You also have two legends of MMA taking on two young up-and-comers taking on the sport by storm. Come to think of it, the Penn vs. McDonald and Rua vs. Gustafson fights are perfect analogies of what MMA is to boxing right now.
In one corner, you have the UFC with a stacked card, but still struggling to live up to the hype as far as ratings go. In the other corner, you have boxing, the aging champ of combat sports. While struggling to stay relevant, it is still a dominant force with two bankable stars who won’t fight each other.
It is no mistake that the UFC has put together a PPV-worthy card to be aired free to the masses. You’ve got a title fight in what is arguably the most competitive weight class in the sport. You also have two legends of MMA taking on two young up-and-comers taking on the sport by storm. Come to think of it, the Penn vs. McDonald and Rua vs. Gustafson fights are perfect analogies of what MMA is to boxing right now.
UFC on Fox will have a head start on the Saturday prime-time schedule, but Pacquiao vs. Marquez has the advantage of being “appointment viewing.” In other words, fight fans already planning on ordering the PPV bout are more likely to start switching over from the UFC on Fox regardless of whether or not the UFC lightweight championship has been determined. On the flip side, the UFC card has something that Pacquiao/Marquez does not: drama.
Studies show that fight fans, specifically MMA fans, are drawn to the drama aspect over the violence aspect of the sport. Does the UFC on Fox card have drama? You bet your ass it does. You have one title fight in what is arguably the most competitive weight division in MMA and two bouts featuring legends of the sport taking on the rapidly rising young-blood of MMA.
Meanwhile, boxing has scrapped together a meaningless fourth match-up between Marquez and Pacquiao. The fight doesn’t even have any title implications on the line. This fight is coming off of the huge black-eye (pun intended) on the sport of boxing in the form of the controversial Bradley/Pacquiao decision in June. Why Pacquiao’s next fight wasn’t an immediate rematch for the WBO Welterweight Title still escapes me. If it was, Pacquiao/Bradley II would have been a much better draw and stand a much better advantage over the UFC on Fox this Saturday. But alas, the gods of common sense will dictate otherwise.
Nate Diaz and Benson Henderson need to put on a great performance this Saturday. They need to keep viewers engaged and forget about switching over to the PPV event that will overlap the UFC event, when the Pacquiao vs. Marquez supporting card begins at 9 p.m. ET.
Come Monday, it will be interesting to see how the numbers play out. Will the UFC poach some of boxing’s PPV orders? Or will we see a steep decline in TV ratings during the main-event as viewers switch over to see Pacquiao vs. Marquez IV? Will we see a changing of the guard, or will it be business as usual? To me, the biggest story on Saturday does not involve anyone fighting, but which sport will be victorious with TV viewers — the aging legend, boxing, or the rising star of combat sports, MMA?
(Pacquiao vs. Marquez I, 5/8/04. Videos via HBOSports, props to BloodyElbow for the tip.)
In the lead-up to this weekend’s historic fourth meeting between Manny Pacquiao and Juan Manuel Marquez, HBO Sports was kind enough to upload all three of their previous fights to its YouTube channel. That’s 36 rounds (and two-and-a-half hours) of some of the highest-level boxing that the sport has seen in the last ten years. Though each fight was decided on a razor-thin margin, Marquez has been unable to get his hand raised so far. Will the fourth time be a charm? And can this latest fight match up to the legendary history of the Pacquaio vs. Marquez rivalry?
Fights 2 and 3 are after the jump…
(Pacquiao vs. Marquez I, 5/8/04. Videos via HBOSports, props to BloodyElbow for the tip.)
In the lead-up to this weekend’s historic fourth meeting between Manny Pacquiao and Juan Manuel Marquez, HBO Sports was kind enough to upload all three of their previous fights to its YouTube channel. That’s 36 rounds (and two-and-a-half hours) of some of the highest-level boxing that the sport has seen in the last ten years. Though each fight was decided on a razor-thin margin, Marquez has been unable to get his hand raised so far. Will the fourth time be a charm? And can this latest fight match up to the legendary history of the Pacquaio vs. Marquez rivalry?
