It has finally happened. After years of mocking everything from ugly t-shirts to stupid tattoos, I have found something that has genuinely left me speechless. This god-awful McDojo demonstration featuring a “Taekwondo” “blackbelt” repeatedly trying (and failing, obviously) to break a board has me at a loss for words. From the nervous laughter from spectators throughout the video to the Mac from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia-esque form that the guy kicks with to the chunk of wood that flies off the board and hits a little girl halfway through the video, the only thing I can think of writing to go with this involves a series of completely unrelated GIFs with “Write your own damn jokes, comments section.” at the end.
It has finally happened. After years of mocking everything from ugly t-shirts to stupid tattoos, I have found something that has genuinely left me speechless. This god-awful McDojo demonstration featuring a “Taekwondo” “blackbelt” repeatedly trying (and failing, obviously) to break a board has me at a loss for words. From the nervous laughter from spectators throughout the video to the Mac from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia-esque form that the guy kicks with to the chunk of wood that flies off the board and hits a little girl halfway through the video, the only thing I can think of writing to go with this involves a series of sort-of related GIFs with “Write your own damn jokes, comments section.” at the end.
(Mad props to CP reader Dave W for the find. The logic-defying test of strength comes at the 4:27 mark, if you’re into that sort of thing.)
At this point, we’ve done all we can do to spare fighters the embarrassment of testing their unbreakable chins during a fight, only to receive a lesson in humility shortly thereafter. We’ve put out a PSA, we’ve relentlessly ridiculed those dumb enough to attempt the maneuver, and we’ve even bestowed one of these jackasses with the MMA Fail of the Year Award, the best worst CP honor of them all. But like Flickr’s obsession with bloody nipples, it appears that fighters daring their opponents to knock them out is a trend that is here to stay.
Today’s exercise in stupidity comes to us from a supposed “Shaolin Kung Fu Master” named Yi Long — we say “supposed” because one would think that a Shaolin Master would be a little more versed in the art of modesty — during a December 2012 fight with 10-2 Muay Thai wrecking machine Josh Pickthall. Not only does the fight feature some of the most blatant nuthugging from a ringside announcer that we have ever heard (not that we know what they’re saying, but scroll through the Youtube comments to clarify this), but it also features a falling tree KO so glorious that it seems to come right out of a Looney Tunes episode.
Perhaps what’s most perplexing about Long’s decision to expose himself to three straight punches (which, to his credit, he seems to hold up for two of) is the fact that the fight was relatively competitive until the last few seconds. If you’re Anderson Silva fighting Stephan Bonnar, sure, go ahead and get cocky. If you’re some dipshit who fancies himself the next Anderson Silva, however, maybe it’s best to hold off on the dropping of the hands. For your own sake.
(Mad props to CP reader Dave W for the find. The logic-defying test of strength comes at the 4:27 mark, if you’re into that sort of thing.)
At this point, we’ve done all we can do to spare fighters the embarrassment of testing their unbreakable chins during a fight, only to receive a lesson in humility shortly thereafter. We’ve put out a PSA, we’ve relentlessly ridiculed those dumb enough to attempt the maneuver, and we’ve even bestowed one of these jackasses with the MMA Fail of the Year Award, the best worst CP honor of them all. But like Flickr’s obsession with bloody nipples, it appears that fighters daring their opponents to knock them out is a trend that is here to stay.
Today’s exercise in stupidity comes to us from a supposed “Shaolin Kung Fu Master” named Yi Long — we say “supposed” because one would think that a Shaolin Master would be a little more versed in the art of modesty – during a December 2012 fight with 10-2 Muay Thai wrecking machine Josh Pickthall. Not only does the fight feature some of the most blatant nuthugging from a ringside announcer that we have ever heard (not that we know what they’re saying, but scroll through the Youtube comments to clarify this), but it also features a falling tree KO so glorious that it seems to come right out of a Looney Tunes episode.
Perhaps what’s most perplexing about Long’s decision to expose himself to three straight punches (which, to his credit, he seems to hold up for two of) is the fact that the fight was relatively competitive until the last few seconds. If you’re Anderson Silva fighting Stephan Bonnar, sure, go ahead and get cocky. If you’re some dipshit who fancies himself the next Anderson Silva, however, maybe it’s best to hold off on the dropping of the hands. For your own sake.
Following his recent “retirement,” Nick Diaz, the Stockton-born bad boy, is looking to fill his newfound free time with another attention-grabbing stunt. Diaz announced that he is putting together his own mixed martial arts promotion, aptly named War MMA. While an intriguing proposition, Diaz lacks the follow-through to bring such a large venture to fruition. […]
Following his recent “retirement,” Nick Diaz, the Stockton-born bad boy, is looking to fill his newfound free time with another attention-grabbing stunt. Diaz announced that he is putting together his own mixed martial arts promotion, aptly named War MMA. While an intriguing proposition, Diaz lacks the follow-through to bring such a large venture to fruition. […]
We’re not even one week into 2013, yet we already have a strong candidate for CagePotato.com’s coveted MMA Fail of the Year at the year-ending Potato Awards. And yes, “coveted” is the right word here – with all of the ugly tattoos, terrible t-shirts, goofy haircuts and general jackassery in this great sport, it’s a legitimate honor to be recognized for failing harder than everyone else around you. Last year, the award went to a guy who dared his opponent to knock him out seconds before getting knocked out. Following in his footsteps, this instructor is so confident that he has discovered the “ultimate” way to defend against an armbar that you should really be expecting his demise well before it plays out.
This guy’s “Ultimate Armbar Defense” isn’t exactly scientific; it involves grabbing your own gi collar and holding on for dear life. Don’t ask me how a jiu-jitsu purple belt didn’t realize that he was setting himself up for a textbook gi choke, but he didn’t, and the inevitable happens by the end of the video. My favorite part of the video is the very end, when he wakes up, remembers where he is, puffs his chest out and looks into the camera with manly, Ronda Rousey-esque confidence.
We’re not even one week into 2013, yet we already have a strong candidate for CagePotato.com’s coveted MMA Fail of the Year at the year-ending Potato Awards. And yes, “coveted” is the right word here – with all of the ugly tattoos, terrible t-shirts, goofy haircuts and general jackassery in this great sport, it’s a legitimate honor to be recognized for failing harder than everyone else around you. Last year, the award went to a guy who dared his opponent to knock him out seconds before getting knocked out. Following in his footsteps, this instructor is so confident that he has discovered the “ultimate” way to defend against an armbar that you should really be expecting his demise well before it plays out.
This guy’s ”Ultimate Armbar Defense” isn’t exactly scientific; it involves grabbing your own gi collar and holding on for dear life. Don’t ask me how a jiu-jitsu purple belt didn’t realize that he was setting himself up for a textbook gi choke, but he didn’t, and the inevitable happens by the end of the video. My favorite part of the video is the very end, when he wakes up, remembers where he is, puffs his chest out and looks into the camera with manly, Ronda Rousey-esque confidence.
It’s sort-of brilliant – your opponent can’t kick your ass if you kick your own ass first, and even though you’d lose a grappling match if you choked yourself out to defend against an armbar, at least your opponent didn’t technically beat you. As long as you didn’t have an incompetent referee, you’d lose well before your opponent realizes you’re asleep and armbars you out of principle.
The bar has been set high in 2013, Taters. I don’t recommend trying to defeat this guy at his own game, but for those about to fail, I salute you.
Two UFC 153 main card fighters have tested positive for banned substances. MMAJunkie.com broke the news that Stephan Bonnar and Dave Herman failed their post-fight drug tests. Bonnar tested positive for Drostanolone, an anabolic steroid use…
Two UFC 153 main card fighters have tested positive for banned substances. MMAJunkie.com broke the news that Stephan Bonnar and Dave Herman failed their post-fight drug tests. Bonnar tested positive for Drostanolone, an anabolic steroid used mainly in the “cutting cycles.” Herman tested positive for marijuana metabolites. Bonnar came out of retirement to face Anderson […]
Frankie Edgar may be walking into a fight with Ben Henderson at less than 100 percent. At least that seems to be the case, as a recent broadcast conducted at UFC on Fuel TV confirmed that Edgar would be challenging for the UFC Lightweight Title against…
Frankie Edgar may be walking into a fight with Ben Henderson at less than 100 percent. At least that seems to be the case, as a recent broadcast conducted at UFC on Fuel TV confirmed that Edgar would be challenging for the UFC Lightweight Title against Henderson at UFC 150. Dana White reaffirmed the news […]
