We’re just one day out from watching knockout artist Jordan Mein take on the resurgent Matt Brown in a bout that appears to have an end of the night bonus all but locked up. Even though Mein is stepping in to fight on short notice, his impressive knockout over Dan Miller during his UFC debut last month has helped make him a 3-1 favorite to win. While we personally think that Brown has a better shot at winning than the oddsmakers are giving him, we wouldn’t be surprised if Mein picked up his eighteenth first round stoppage tomorrow night, either.
What would surprise us is if “The Immortal” got starched as quickly as Hollis Huggins did when he fought Jordan Mein back in 2008. At the time, Huggins was a former minor league football running back who transitioned from being one of the more competent semi-pro footballers to being a horrifically incompetent semi-pro fighter. Huggins spent the first fifteen or so seconds leading with his head while holding his hands around his nipples in a manner that suggested he didn’t realize that Mein was allowed to throw the head kick that should have ended the fight. It took a few completely unnecessary follow-up punches for the referee to finally waive off the action just twenty seconds into the first round.
Video is after the jump
We’re just one day out from watching knockout artist Jordan Mein take on the resurgent Matt Brown in a bout that appears to have an end of the night bonus all but locked up. Even though Mein is stepping in to fight on short notice, his impressive knockout over Dan Miller during his UFC debut last month has helped make him a 3-1 favorite to win. While we personally think that Brown has a better shot at winning than the oddsmakers are giving him, we wouldn’t be surprised if Mein picked up his eighteenth first round stoppage tomorrow night, either.
What would surprise us is if “The Immortal” got starched as quickly as Hollis Huggins did when he fought Jordan Mein back in 2008. At the time, Huggins was a former minor league football running back who transitioned from being one of the more competent semi-pro footballers to being a horrifically incompetent semi-pro fighter. Huggins spent the first fifteen or so seconds leading with his head while holding his hands around his nipples in a manner that suggested he didn’t realize that Mein was allowed to throw the head kick that should have ended the fight. It took a few completely unnecessary follow-up punches for the referee to finally waive off the action just twenty seconds into the first round.
Since that fight, things have played out predictably. Mein would continue to absolutely terrorize hapless foes, but this fight remains his quickest victory during his professional career. Huggins, meanwhile, would go on to lose six more times and retire from MMA with an 0-9 record (although to be fair, MixedMartialArts.com has him at 2-11), with all loses coming by stoppage; most of them in the first round. Sorry, bro: You are not the next Bo Jackson.
Look, we’re all busy today with our Christmas shopping/football watching/religious obligations/normal Sunday activities to waste too much time not driving to the liquor store before the parking lot fills up, so I’ll make this brief. Bantamweight prospect Cody Land fought James Harrington at featherweight during Disorderly Conduct MMA’s Season’s Beatings card last Friday. Harrington picks the wrong time to drop his hands and is met with a brutal overhand left. The result is equal parts this and this. One forced and awkward, yet obligatory “falling Christmas tree” joke later, and we’re ready for the holiday. Alright homies, let’s get drunk.
Look, we’re all busy today with our Christmas shopping/football watching/religious obligations/normal Sunday activities to waste too much time not driving to the liquor store before the parking lot fills up, so I’ll make this brief. Bantamweight prospect Cody Land fought James Harrington at featherweight during Disorderly Conduct MMA’s Season’s Beatings card last Friday. Harrington picks the wrong time to drop his hands and is met with a brutal overhand left. The result is equal parts this and this. One forced and awkward, yet obligatory “falling Christmas tree” joke later, and we’re ready for the holiday. Alright homies, let’s get drunk.
The Peruvian Savage last fought at UFC 79 in 2007. Props to MMA-Latino for the image.
While there’s a chance that some of you reading this may not know who Tony DeSouza is, it’s hard not to respect him for what he has done for our sport. The thirty-eight year old Cholitzu practitioner (that’s Cholo Jiu-Jitsu, n00b) complied a 3-3 record in the UFC and a 10-4 record overall until his retirement in 2007. He was the wrestling coach of Team Penn throughout The Ultimate Fighter 5, and the inventor of the Peruvian Necktie.
Oh, and he also stepped up on short notice Thursday night to fill in for one of his injured students, and despite not fighting in five years, submitted Bolivian Luis Fernando in the first round.
As MMA-Latino explained to us in an email, Tony’s student was originally set to fight Luis Fernando on Thursday night. However, a freak accident at their hotel room saw the window fall out and cut his student’s hand and arm, forcing his student to withdraw from the fight [Author Note: “Freak accident” is really putting it mildly here, I imagine]. DeSouza stepped up to take the fight, and despite a respectable effort from Fernando, “The Peruvian Savage” secured a fight-ending choke in just over one minute. Video awaits after the jump.
The Peruvian Savage last fought at UFC 79 in 2007. Props to MMA-Latino for the image.
While there’s a chance that some of you reading this may not know who Tony DeSouza is, it’s hard not to respect him for what he has done for our sport. The thirty-eight year old Cholitzu practitioner (that’s Cholo Jiu-Jitsu, n00b) complied a 3-3 record in the UFC and a 10-4 record overall until his retirement in 2007. He was the wrestling coach of Team Penn throughout The Ultimate Fighter 5, and the inventor of the Peruvian Necktie.
Oh, and he also stepped up on short notice Thursday night to fill in for one of his injured students, and despite not fighting in five years, submitted Bolivian Luis Fernando in the first round.
As MMA-Latino explained to us in an email, Tony’s student was originally set to fight Luis Fernando on Thursday night. However, a freak accident at their hotel room saw the window fall out and cut his student’s hand and arm, forcing his student to withdraw from the fight [Author Note: “Freak accident” is really putting it mildly here, I imagine]. DeSouza stepped up to take the fight, and despite a respectable effort from Fernando, “The Peruvian Savage” secured a fight-ending choke in just over one minute. Video awaits after the jump.
It wasn’t exactly a display of world-class striking, but it’s great to see that DeSouza still training regularly and keeping himself in fighting shape. Likewise, both men deserve props for being game enough to accept the fight on short notice.
When we last checked in on Drew Fickett, he had moved from Arizona to Florida to enter a rehabilitation facility, and celebrated his forty-two days of sobriety with a knockout loss to Jonatas Novaes at ShoFIGHT 20. Not to add insult to injury, but Fickett said before the fight that he was in very real danger danger of becoming homeless if he didn’t receive his win bonus as well. I wish I was here today to tell you that things have gotten better for him, but that’s not exactly the case.
Fickett met up with undefeated Grudge Training Center prospect Justin Gaethje at last weekend’s Rage in the Cage 163. I’d describe the fight for you, but that’d be a waste of time. Let’s just say that Gaethje is still undefeated, Fickett is now 1-6 in his last seven fights and I’m only writing about this fight because I have lost control of my life.
Video is after the jump.
Yep.
When we last checked in on Drew Fickett, he had moved from Arizona to Florida to enter a rehabilitation facility, and celebrated his forty-two days of sobriety with a knockout loss to Jonatas Novaes at ShoFIGHT 20. Not to add insult to injury, but Fickett said before the fight that he was in very real danger danger of becoming homeless if he didn’t receive his win bonus as well. I wish I was here today to tell you that things have gotten better for him, but that’s not exactly the case.
Fickett met up with undefeated Grudge Training Center prospect Justin Gaethje at last weekend’s Rage in the Cage 163. I’d describe the fight for you, but that’d be a waste of time. Let’s just say that Gaethje is still undefeated, Fickett is now 1-6 in his last seven fights – with his last four losses all coming in under one minute – and I’m only writing about this fight because I have lost control of my life.
We’re just hours away from UFC 152, where we will be treated to great fights between our sport’s top athletes. So, to get us in the mood for tonight’s action, let’s take a look at something completely different. Before establishing himself as the destroyer of Tater freakin’ Williams, top XARM heavyweight* Bond Laupua made his MMA debut against renowned crazy person Dan Quinn at Gladiator Challenge: First Strike in October 2009. And despite everything about pitting a future XARM athletefighter competitor against a wild-eyed Stevia enthusiast seeming legitimate, the fight quickly turned into a bizarre freak show.
We’re just hours away from UFC 152, where we will be treated to great fights between our sport’s top athletes. So, to get us in the mood for tonight’s action, let’s take a look at something completely different. Before establishing himself as the destroyer of Tater freakin’ Williams, top XARM heavyweight* Bond Laupua made his MMA debut against renowned crazy person Dan Quinn at Gladiator Challenge: First Strike in October 2009. And despite everything about pitting a future XARM athletefighter competitor against a wild-eyed Stevia enthusiast seeming legitimate, the fight quickly turned into a bizarre freak show.
It has to be frustrating to coach a fighter like Dan Quinn, who all but refuses to follow the most basic advice his corner gives him. His corner practically has to beg him to throw some punches, but don’t worry, Bond Laupua tires himself out far before Dan’s Homer Simpson-esque strategy can backfire. Dan lands some hard punches on the exhausted Bond Lapua, then backs away, generously giving Laupua the opportunity to recover. But much like the referee for my eighth grade dance off, this ref realizes that things can quickly go from embarrassing to tragic, and ain’t nobody got time for that. The shenanigans are over in one minute and forty nine seconds.
Of course, since getting TKO’d by Dan Quinn, Bond would reinvent himself in XARM, where “I don’t really have a strategy” is the perfect strategy for becoming a certified decapitator of the souls of mere mortals. Frankly, I’m not entirely sure that’s an improvement.
*Probably. I mean, I don’t know of any other XARM fighters, but how many people are actually competing in this sideshow?
(It was at that moment Ryan Hall knew he would have to defend the integrity of both his hoagie and the Denny’s establishment he had chosen to accomodate.)
William Shakespeare once said, “Justice oft comes on swift legs, and if thou happen to bear witness, make surest thou placeth thine proof on thine Internet for all to see.” Luckily, we managed to stumble across this video of BJJ savant and 2009 ADCC Bronze medalist Ryan Hall choking out a drunken, self proclaimed “psychopath” at a restaurant, and in William’s honor, have placed it below for you all to see.
(It was at that moment Ryan Hall knew he would have to defend the integrity of both his hoagie and the Denny’s establishment he had chosen to accomodate.)
William Shakespeare once said, “Justice oft comes on swift legs, and if thou happen to bear witness, make surest thou placeth thine proof on thine Internet for all to see.” Luckily, we managed to stumble across this video of BJJ savant and 2009 ADCC Bronze medalist Ryan Hall choking out a drunken, self proclaimed “psychopath” at a restaurant, and in William’s honor, have placed it below for you all to see.
As the Paranormal Activity style text informs us, the night was December 11th, 2011. Why it took so long for this video to come to fruition is beyond us, but that’s not the point. Along with the company a few friends, Ryan Hall was enjoying what appears to be chicken sandwich when the anonymous drunken a-hole approached him and asked for a lighter. Ryan informed the patron, who we will now refer to as “Shitshow,” that he didn’t have one, at which point the man became enraged, launching into a tirade and threatening everyone within seeing distance. Because, you know, that’s a reasonable reaction.
Anyway, after getting all up in Hall’s grill, claiming that he’s been locked in a mental institution on multiple occasions, which calls into question both the effectiveness and security of institutions nationwide, Shitshow challenges Hall to a fight. He takes a second to inform Ryan that he has “no idea of what I’m capable of,” a notion so steeped in irony that Hall can simply not resist.
Hall opts for the double leg and smoothly transitions to mount, where he just kind of hangs out and waits for the authorities to be called. His top control, though smothering, is ultimately ineffective. After allowing Shitshow to get back to his feet, Ryan backs off, giving him one last chance to hit the road. Shitshow does not get the message, at which point the restaurant owner gets involved, begging him to “please stop.” Playing on this dickhead’s sense of honor proves pointless. Hall remains calm, even as Shitshow continues to goad him. “I wanna see you kill me,” he cries. This is stage one of Shitshow’s ultimate demise: the call out.
The moment Hall steps outside, however, stage two quickly sets in: realization. Yes, Shitshow quickly begins to reconsider, opting to start up with one of Hall’s crew instead. Typical bitch boy behavior, folks. At this point, Hall has had enough, and seizes Shitshow by his shoulders. Smashing Shitshow’s head off the metal framed door on the way out, Hall proceeds to promptly choke him unconscious. Stage three: acceptance, and untimely hibernation.
And as in every movie ever made, the police show up when the action is over, their criminal already subdued, and begin to question everyone as to what exactly went down. Our boys in blue later inform Hall that Shitshow is looking to press charges. Stage four: grief and backtracking.
Thankfully, this video will likely serve as evidence in this whack job’s future civil suit, granted he ever fully recovers from the embarrassment of shitting his pants in front of nearly 30 people.
