Ok, we’re starting to suspect that Lyoto Machida‘s piss-drinking habit has more to do with exhibitionism than supposed health benefits. That the former UFC light heavyweight champion learned to drink urine from his father (writing that sentence just gave me the creeps) is well documented. It is clear now, however, that Lyoto’s urine addiction is out of control.
No longer does he partake solely within the confines of secure training environments where the waste liquid he ingests can be trusted to be “clean,” as the video evidence above shows Machida is now drinking the urine of complete strangers. That is, as long as they drink his urine as well. Clearly, this has all just become a game to pee-pee party boy Lyoto. Sad.
And, no more jokes — this is just gross.
Who could have guessed that this is what “The Machida Era” would entail. We’re not saying his golden showers are directly contributing to his lackluster performances in recent years, but how could they be helping?
What do you think, nation? Is this more or less disgusting/erotic than Joe Rogan forcing blonde chicks to guzzle donkey semen? And, will this writer ever be able to redeem himself after cashing checks for writing about both of these episodes? Our answers: More disgusting, less erotic, and no.
By the way, the woman featured in this clip is Pânico na TV reporter Sabrina Sato whose resume includes “having her body covered with bees, lighting candles by fart, being buried alive, allowing a scorpion to sting her on her bare backside, belching the lyrics to songs/ stories, and even eating bugs.” WIFE MATERIAL.
Ok, we’re starting to suspect that Lyoto Machida‘s piss-drinking habit has more to do with exhibitionism than supposed health benefits. That the former UFC light heavyweight champion learned to drink urine from his father (writing that sentence just gave me the creeps) is well documented. It is clear now, however, that Lyoto’s urine addiction is out of control.
No longer does he partake solely within the confines of secure training environments where the waste liquid he ingests can be trusted to be “clean,” as the video evidence above shows Machida is now drinking the urine of complete strangers. That is, as long as they drink his urine as well. Clearly, this has all just become a game to pee-pee party boy Lyoto. Sad.
And, no more jokes — this is just gross.
Who could have guessed that this is what “The Machida Era” would entail. We’re not saying his golden showers are directly contributing to his lackluster performances in recent years, but how could they be helping?
What do you think, nation? Is this more or less disgusting/erotic than Joe Rogan forcing blonde chicks to guzzle donkey semen? And, will this writer ever be able to redeem himself after cashing checks for writing about both of these episodes? Our answers: More disgusting, less erotic, and no.
By the way, the woman featured in this clip is Pânico na TV reporter Sabrina Sato whose resume includes “having her body covered with bees, lighting candles by fart, being buried alive, allowing a scorpion to sting her on her bare backside, belching the lyrics to songs/ stories, and even eating bugs.” WIFE MATERIAL.
A couple of videos came to our attention today, both of them shot by MMA fans whose devotion to cage-fighting has begun to bleed into their surroundings. One is high-budget, one is low-budget, but they’re both — in their own special ways — kind of creepy. (We’ll let you decide which obsessed fan is scarier in the comments section.)
First up, the “Cave of MMAn” featured above, in which a longtime Ultimate Fighting mark shows off what has to be the most elaborate UFC fandom HQ ever built on a private residence. You will see…
– A Star Wars-style text-crawl intro, letting us know that we’re about to enter some serious geek territory.
– A chain-link Octagon, which doubles as an outdoor deck, an Octagon-themed bar (“The Octobar”), and a Octagan-themed coffee table.
– An entry portal that features TapouT decals on glass and a gloved fist punching through the side of the house.
– The phrases “NEVER LEAVE IT IN THE HANDS OF THE JUDGES” and “AS REAL AS IT GETS” stenciled near the ceiling.
– An actual Octagon canvas on the floor, which appears to be the real deal, judging by the visible blood-stains.
A couple of videos came to our attention today, both of them shot by MMA fans whose devotion to cage-fighting has begun to bleed into their surroundings. One is high-budget, one is low-budget, but they’re both — in their own special ways — kind of creepy. (We’ll let you decide which obsessed fan is scarier in the comments section.)
First up, the “Cave of MMAn” featured above, in which a longtime Ultimate Fighting mark shows off what has to be the most elaborate UFC fandom HQ ever built on a private residence. You will see…
– A Star Wars-style text-crawl intro, letting us know that we’re about to enter some serious geek territory.
– A chain-link Octagon, which doubles as an outdoor deck, an Octagon-themed bar (“The Octobar”), and a Octagan-themed coffee table.
– An entry portal that features TapouT decals on glass and a gloved fist punching through the side of the house.
– The phrases “NEVER LEAVE IT IN THE HANDS OF THE JUDGES” and “AS REAL AS IT GETS” stenciled near the ceiling.
– An actual Octagon canvas on the floor, which appears to be the real deal, judging by the visible blood-stains.
– UFC action figures — perhaps every one that’s ever been produced — hanging on the walls, along with framed event posters and other assorted memorabilia, much of it autographed.
– A separate corner devoted to Arianny and Brittney, particularly their Playboy appearances.
– A Brian Ebersole fight playing on the TV. Jesus, this guy really is a hardcore fan.
– An end-credits shout out to “Bonnie, for just letting me do my thing.” #adorbz
So yeah, this one’s a little more rustic. You can tell that Terry has less resources than MMAn Cave Guy, but his obsession is far more focused. And his Diaz Fight Barn really covers all the bases. It features…
– The phrase “WAR DIAZ” carved into a spray-painted wooden plank.
– A torn-up speed-bag, and a heavy-bag in pretty good shape.
– Some anti-Dana White fan art.
– Every page of every magazine article ever published about each Diaz brother, taped onto the walls. (“That’s how I fucks with them, homey, you know, all day. Got Nate Diaz givin’ Sirone [sic] a shot fuckin’ rieet in the jah, there, oof. Pretty.”)
– A weight-bench set-up. The narrator immediately declares “fuck that thing.”
So, clearly the first guy wins in terms of quantity/quality of his items, and time spent on his obsession. But answer me this — who would you rather sit next to at a WAR MMA show?
(“Close enough, let’s do some blow.” – Artist *and* client, simultaneously, I imagine.)
We here at CagePotato.com are a cynical bunch, so naturally, our first instincts upon seeing this Ronda Rousey tattoo were to mock it relentlessly. But upon further review, perhaps this isn’t the single worst fan tattoo since some jaggoff got a tattoo of Arianny the Big-headed T-Rex. Hell, it may be subtle enough to be the single greatest fan tattoo of all time. For example:
– That whole face thing the tattoo has going on? Clearly a tribute to Rousey vs. Tate II, which, judging by the nasty hematoma under Rousey’s eye, this guy believes will end via knockout.
– See how the body of Rousey the woman creature in this tattoo is fat, lacks anything resembling muscles, and has a boob job that was probably done at Wal K-Mart? That’s because only men have big, ugly muscles, so if you’re enjoying a hand bra from a creature with muscles, then you’re fantasizing about a dude.
(“Close enough, let’s do some blow.” – Artist *and* client, simultaneously, I imagine.)
We here at CagePotato.com are a cynical bunch, so naturally, our first instincts upon seeing this Ronda Rousey tattoo were to mock it relentlessly. But upon further review, perhaps this isn’t the single worst fan tattoo since some jaggoff got a tattoo of Arianny the Big-headed T-Rex. Hell, it may be subtle enough to be the single greatest fan tattoo of all time. For example:
– That whole face thing the tattoo has going on? Clearly a tribute to Rousey vs. Tate II, which, judging by the nasty hematoma under Rousey’s eye, this guy believes will end via knockout.
– See how the body of Rousey the woman creature in this tattoo is fat, lacks anything resembling muscles, and has a boob job that was probably done at Wal K-Mart? That’s because only men have big, ugly muscles, so if you’re enjoying a hand bra from a creature with muscles, then you’re fantasizing about a dude.
– Those laughably scrawny arms aren’t a product of a terrible “artist,” but rather, a clever tribute to Ronda’s signature armbar.
– You know why the tattoo replaced the pink handwraps with UFC gloves? Because Strikeforce isn’t even a real thing anymore, bro. Ronda is in the UFC now, and damn it, her hands need to reflect this.
– The inner thigh placement of this tattoo (we think?)? It’s IRONY, YOU MORONS! It’s his way of acknowledging that only a total jackass who will never know the touch of a beautiful woman would get a chick’s face tattooed on his inner thigh. But this guy is probably banging three different chicks as I type this, so irony, you guys.
Either all that stuff, or it’s a shitty tattoo. You tell me.
If there’s anything we’ve learned about UFC welterweight contender Rory “Mini Rush” MacDonald over the past few years it’s that he loves to fight and he loves to shop. And now thanks to his sponsor, Ecko, you can join him for a little of both!
Cool, right? Well, yeah, but also…kinda strange. We guess it really depends on what you bring to the table.
Because if you, your buddy that you get to bring and Rory, like, totally click, you’ll be sure to have fun during this day of “private” training and shopping with “Ares.” Hell, you guys will probably all stay in touch afterwards and tell inside jokes over Skype once a week while eating popcorn. On the off chance that doesn’t happen, however, it might get a lil’ awkward for some non-athlete to have a private training session with a world class fighter and then, because this is totally something that lots of strangers do together, go clothes shopping together at an Ecko store.
If there’s anything we’ve learned about UFC welterweight contender Rory “Mini Rush” MacDonald over the past few years it’s that he loves to fight and he loves to shop. And now thanks to his sponsor, Ecko, you can join him for a little of both!
Cool, right? Well, yeah, but also…kinda strange. We guess it really depends on what you bring to the table.
Because if you, your buddy that you get to bring and Rory, like, totally click, you’ll be sure to have fun during this day of “private” training and shopping with “Ares.” Hell, you guys will probably all stay in touch afterwards and tell inside jokes over Skype once a week while eating popcorn. On the off chance that doesn’t happen, however, it might get a lil’ awkward for some non-athlete to have a private training session with a world class fighter and then, because this is totally something that lots of strangers do together, go clothes shopping together at an Ecko store.
Seeing the inside of TriStar gym would be dope, no doubt, as would meeting MacDonald. But the poster for the sweepstakes almost seems to be designed to emphasize how self-consciously weird this day could turn out to be. And a max out of $250? Come on, Ecko. What’s that going to cover, a winter coat and half a t-shirt? Certainly not a neon orange tux, that’s for sure.
It’s not like we’d complain about a free flight to beautiful Montreal, free training and “meal,” it just seems like this could all quickly devolve into an awkward conversation that is forcibly extended over an entire day.
