On This Day in MMA History: Vitor Belfort, Marvin Eastman, & The UFC 43 “Goat Vagina” Incident


(Oh, so *that’s* how The Rock does it.)

It might surprise you to learn that years before Vitor Belfort was just a TRT-fueled killing machine, well, he was slightly younger, 4-Hydroxytestosterone-fueled killing machine (progress!). In fact, during his second UFC run in the early aughts, Belfort had already been in the game long enough to draw comparisons to his “old” self despite being just 26 years old at the time. And no one was more privy to the *first* career rebirth of “The Phenom” than Marvin Eastman, who became Belfort’s most infamous victim to date at UFC 43 on June 6th, 2003 — 11 years ago today.

Following a 5-1 run in PRIDE between 1999-2001, Belfort returned to the UFC in June of 2002, dropping a hard-fought unanimous decision to Chuck Liddell at UFC 37.5: As Real As It Gets (eesh) upon arriving. Belfort was then matched up against the 5-2 “Beastman” for the latter’s promotional debut. The size and reach difference between the mountainous Belfort and the compact Eastman was immediately noticeable and immediately exploited by Belfort, who proceeded to tie up Eastman in a muay Thai clinch and knee his stout opponent’s face off of his face in just over a minute’s time.

Described by Joe Rogan as “a goat’s vagina” and “the worst cut he’d ever seen” in the moments after it occurred, the axe-wound Belfort opened up on Eastman’s forehead remains the Citizen Kane of MMA cuts to this day. To check out a full, bloody replay of Belfort vs. Eastman, join us after the jump.


(Oh, so *that’s* how The Rock does it.)

It might surprise you to learn that years before Vitor Belfort was just a TRT-fueled killing machine, well, he was slightly younger, 4-Hydroxytestosterone-fueled killing machine (progress!). In fact, during his second UFC run in the early aughts, Belfort had already been in the game long enough to draw comparisons to his “old” self despite being just 26 years old at the time. And no one was more privy to the *first* career rebirth of “The Phenom” than Marvin Eastman, who became Belfort’s most infamous victim to date at UFC 43 on June 6th, 2003 — 11 years ago today.

Following a 5-1 run in PRIDE between 1999-2001, Belfort returned to the UFC in June of 2002, dropping a hard-fought unanimous decision to Chuck Liddell at UFC 37.5: As Real As It Gets (eesh) upon arriving. Belfort was then matched up against the 5-2 “Beastman” for the latter’s promotional debut. The size and reach difference between the mountainous Belfort and the compact Eastman was immediately noticeable and immediately exploited by Belfort, who proceeded to tie up Eastman in a muay Thai clinch and knee his stout opponent’s face off of his face in just over a minute’s time.

Described by Joe Rogan as “a goat’s vagina” and “the worst cut he’d ever seen” in the moments after it occurred, the axe-wound Belfort opened up on Eastman’s forehead remains the Citizen Kane of MMA cuts to this day. Check out a full, bloody replay of Belfort vs. Eastman below.

Following this slaughter, Belfort would go on to win the UFC Light Heavyweight championship on a technicality, then lose successive bouts to Randy Couture, Tito Ortiz, and Alistair Overeem (in PRIDE). He would spend four long years destroying has-beens like Matt Lindland and never-weres like Kazuo Takahashi before returning to the UFC and annihilating Rich Franklin at UFC 103. Then blah blah blah Anderson Silva foot sammich, blah blah nearly submitted Jon Jones blah TRT-shaming the rest is history.

Eastman, on the other hand, would become something of infamous KO victim over the years, suffer highlight reel defeats at the hands of Rampage Jackson, Drew McFedries, and Travis Lutter (LOL!). He would also have a son who followed in his footsteps as an MMA fighter but refused to share his name. You tell me whose career has been more fulfilling.

Not Roy Nelson. Not Martin Kampmann. Not Abe Wagner or Cub Swanson or Ross Pearson’s cuts will ever compare to Eastman’s goat vagina, a battle scar so horrific that it caused the Just Bleed guy to have an existential crisis. And for that, we pay tribute.

J. Jones

Fight of the Day: Paul Daley Puts on a Thai Plum Clinic Against Jimmy Pocket Lukasz Chlewicki at Cage Warriors 57

Remember when we told you that Paul Daley was scheduled to slaughter some poor Polack at Cage Warriors 57 last weekend? Well, as luck would have it, he all but slaughtered some poor Polack at Cage Warriors 57 last weekend. Crazy, right?

To his credit, +800 underdog Lukasz Chlewicki didn’t seem too afraid to stand and bang with “Semtex,” which when you look at Daley’s highlight reel, is akin to sticking your foot in a bear trap and hoping to win the Boston Marathon. Unfortunately, Chlewicki’s persistent clinch work would turn out to be the cause of his demise, as the visibly larger Daley would use the opportunities to put on a Muay Thai clinic. Punishing elbows and vicious knees befell Chlewicki until a Marvin Eastman-esque goat vagina was opened up on the right side of his shiny, bald head, forcing the ringside physician to call the fight between the first and second round.

Chin up, Lukasz. You might have had your ass kicked by one of the best ass-kickers outside of the UFC, but let’s look at the positives:

1) You ended the fight in the same state of matter as you began it in.

2) You were able to chew solid foods the next day.

3) You were fighting in a cage.

J. Jones

Remember when we told you that Paul Daley was scheduled to slaughter some poor Polack at Cage Warriors 57 last weekend? Well, as luck would have it, he all but slaughtered some poor Polack at Cage Warriors 57 last weekend. Crazy, right?

To his credit, +800 underdog Lukasz Chlewicki didn’t seem too afraid to stand and bang with “Semtex,” which when you look at Daley’s highlight reel, is akin to sticking your foot in a bear trap and hoping to win the Boston Marathon. Unfortunately, Chlewicki’s persistent clinch work would turn out to be the cause of his demise, as the visibly larger Daley would use the opportunities to put on a Muay Thai clinic. Punishing elbows and vicious knees befell Chlewicki until a Marvin Eastman-esque goat vagina was opened up on the right side of his shiny, bald head, forcing the ringside physician to call the fight between the first and second round.

Chin up, Lukasz. You might have had your ass kicked by one of the best ass-kickers outside of the UFC, but let’s look at the positives:

1) You ended the fight in the same state of matter as you began it in.

2) You were able to chew solid foods the next day.

3) You were fighting in a cage.

J. Jones