Tag: Insanity

WAR MMA Planning Its First Event For This Summer Pending Temporary License Approval [IS THIS REAL LIFE?]


(Alright, Mr. Diaz, all we have left to do to grant you this license is take a quick gander over your known criminal histor-Aaaaaannnddd it’s gone!) 

Not unlike the assassination of JFK, the news that Nick Diaz would be starting his own MMA promotion, subtly titled WAR MMA, came out of nowhere and completely blew our brains out. While some of us lauded the thought of an MMA promotion that would finally eliminate all the bitch-ass rules and stipulations that have been holding the UFC back for years (marijuana testing, a mere 8 weight classes, “the bullshit,” etc.), the rest of us reacted in horror. Here is a guy who couldn’t even tell you the last time he paid his own taxes, and now we’re going to put him in charge of other people’s livelihoods (and lives themselves)? Talk about the blind leading the blind.

Thankfully, we as a species are drawn to tragedy like moths to light, hence why Diaz is currently awaiting approval on a temporary promoter’s license so he can get the wheels on this inevitable five-car pileup spinning. Sherdog reports:

California State Athletic Commission Executive Director Andy Foster that Diaz is currently applying for a temporary promoter’s license.

Once all mandatory paperwork has been submitted, Foster said, the onus will fall on Foster to grant Diaz the temporary license. According to Sherdog.com’s source, the Diaz camp is targeting a June 22 event date at the Stockton Arena and also has plans to stream the event live on the Internet. However, Diaz cannot apply for that date and location through the CSAC until his temporary license is granted. If the temp license is awarded and the first War MMA event runs smoothly, Diaz could then appear before the CSAC at the next official meeting and apply for a full promoter’s license.

First off, Stockton has its own arena? Or is that simply what Diaz has dubbed the collection of hastily stacked bicycle tires and chicken wire in his backyard?


(Alright, Mr. Diaz, all we have left to do to grant you this license is take a quick gander over your known criminal histor-Aaaaaannnddd it’s gone!) 

Not unlike the assassination of JFK, the news that Nick Diaz would be starting his own MMA promotion, subtly titled WAR MMA, came out of nowhere and completely blew our brains out. While some of us lauded the thought of an MMA promotion that would finally eliminate all the bitch-ass rules and stipulations that have been holding the UFC back for years (marijuana testing, a mere 8 weight classes, “the bullshit,” etc.), the rest of us reacted in horror. Here is a guy who couldn’t even tell you the last time he paid his own taxes, and now we’re going to put him in charge of other people’s livelihoods (and lives themselves)? Talk about the blind leading the blind.

Thankfully, we as a species are drawn to tragedy like moths to light, hence why Diaz is currently awaiting approval on a temporary promoter’s license so he can get the wheels on this inevitable five-car pileup spinning. Sherdog reports:

California State Athletic Commission Executive Director Andy Foster that Diaz is currently applying for a temporary promoter’s license.

Once all mandatory paperwork has been submitted, Foster said, the onus will fall on Foster to grant Diaz the temporary license. According to Sherdog.com’s source, the Diaz camp is targeting a June 22 event date at the Stockton Arena and also has plans to stream the event live on the Internet. However, Diaz cannot apply for that date and location through the CSAC until his temporary license is granted. If the temp license is awarded and the first War MMA event runs smoothly, Diaz could then appear before the CSAC at the next official meeting and apply for a full promoter’s license.

First off, Stockton has its own arena? Or is that simply what Diaz has dubbed the collection of hastily stacked bicycle tires and chicken wire in his backyard? And as far as streaming the event live on the internet goes, we just hope that the Diaz camp realizes what they’re getting into. But who are we kidding? There’s NO WAY they realize what they’re getting into.

But of the information Sherdog passed along, we think the bit that requires extra emphasis is “If the temp license is awarded and the first War MMA event runs smoothly.” Forget the fact that this promotion is being run on the whim of a guy who has been involved in not one but two in-ring brawls (and one that took place in a hospital). Forget the fact that Diaz — a guy who has complained about being shortchanged his entire career — suddenly has the money to start an MMA promotion. Forget all of that if you can and simply adjust your eyes to the following tweet.

God help us, the brothers Diaz are reaching out to notorious bottom-feeder Jose Canseco to presumably headline their first event in a freak show of the decade match against Shaquille O’Neal. The retired basketball player and current TruTV webclip show host. No word yet on whether Bob Sapp will be making an appearance at this event as well.

While on one hand, booking this fight would draw a ridiculous amount of media attention to the event (which honestly, does Diaz even want that?), it would also all but seal the door on WAR MMA ever being taken seriously as a promotion. The fact is, plenty of fans are going to tune in to see Nick Diaz fight, plain and simple. Even more of us are going to tune in for the chance to see a fighter get shivved on his way to the ring. Why discredit yourselves from the get-go by involving Canseco, whose lone entry into the world of mixed martial arts was a work against Hong Man Choi? Don’t get us wrong, we’d love to see “Wilt Chamberneezy” put a hurting on Canseco, but if you honestly believe that this fight will end in anything other than disappointment, brother, you are a lost cause.

Surely a YAMMA-level disaster is on the horizon.

–J. Jones

Suicidal Call Out of the Day/Possibly Year: Cody McKenzie Wants in on Josh Thomson’s Highlight Reel


(Must…resist…shit…getting…too…real…)

As a big fan of TUF 12’s Cody McKenzie, I’ve come to realize that it’s hard to fault the guy for his nonsensical and often self-destructive decisions, especially when it comes to choosing his opponents. The man reaches for the stars, dammit, and will simply not be told that he doesn’t have the right to call out Frankie Edgar, or Jose Aldo, or Chad Mendes, despite the fact that just managed to bring his win-loss ratio in the UFC to the .500 mark.

No, “The AK Kid” wasn’t one to overthink, or even realize the fact that he had dropped 3 out of his last 4 fights heading into his do-or-die bout with Leonard Garcia at UFC 159, which is why it makes total sense that he, now a featherweight, is calling out top lightweight contender Josh Thomson, like he didn’t just save his UFC career by beating a guy on a four-fight losing streak. How can you not love this kid?


(Must…resist…shit…getting…too…real…)

As a big fan of TUF 12′s Cody McKenzie, I’ve come to realize that it’s hard to fault the guy for his nonsensical and often self-destructive decisions, especially when it comes to choosing his opponents. The man reaches for the stars, dammit, and will simply not be told that he doesn’t have the right to call out Frankie Edgar, or Jose Aldo, or Chad Mendes, despite the fact that just managed to bring his win-loss ratio in the UFC to the .500 mark.

No, “The AK Kid” wasn’t one to overthink, or even realize the fact that he had dropped 3 out of his last 4 fights heading into his do-or-die bout with Leonard Garcia at UFC 159, which is why it makes total sense that he, now a featherweight, is calling out top lightweight contender Josh Thomson, like he didn’t just save his UFC career by beating a guy on a four-fight losing streak. How can you not love this kid?

I hate to say it, but we need more Cody McKenzies in the UFC. Actually, I didn’t hate saying that at all. While Andy, GSP, and Jonny Boy continue with their increasingly frustrating Sam and Diane (and Rebecca, I guess) routine, McKenzie is busy calling out dudes one to two weight classes up from him because big whoop, wanna fight about it? It’s a refreshing attitude in today’s picky-choosy MMA landscape, but also one that usually ends with McKenzie getting his ass kicked.

As you would expect, Thomson got all high-n’-mighty on McKenzie in response, thus proving the Alaskan’s superiority:

What’s the matter, Punk? Are you just afraid of easy paychecks, or getting your ass handed to you by a sasquatch in board shorts?! What are you hiding from?! SHOW US THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE, OBAMA! #MCKENZIEFORPRESIDENT #ARMYOFONE

–J. Jones

“JERRY RIPS!”, Dumbass Event Staff, And More Things You Weren’t Supposed to Hear at UFC 159

For a card that featured a nearly-severed toe and two technical decisions due to eye-pokes, hearing the voice of Satan during the UFC 159 broadcast fit in perfectly with the “Cursed” theme of the night. That eerie, disembodied voice — which seemed to say “Jerry Rips!”, whatever that means — popped up twice (if I recall correctly), most notably during the Bisping/Belcher fight. The next day, a YouTube user calling itself Jerry Rips uploaded this compilation of strange audio from the event, some of which you heard and some of which you definitely weren’t supposed to hear.

Did this Jerry Rips fellow hack into the event audio, and has he released this video as a showcase of his work? And what does Jerry Rips want from us? Should I sacrifice a dog to to His Dark Name just in case? Because I’m totally prepared to sacrifice a dog at this point. Check out the video above before it gets inevitably pulled. Here’s the rundown, from the video description:

00:00 – Hot mic catches event staff calling UFC gay
00:59 – Don’t boo Sara McMann
01:12 – ELBOWS
01:38 – Same event staff give their thoughts on chick fights
01:59 – Sheila Gaff flashing in the cage
02:02 – Michael Bisping hypes himself up backstage, talks shit on Belcher
02:33 – Bisping doesn’t want any fucking water
02:42 – Don’t make eye contact with Johnny Cash
03:00 – Jerry Rips debuts
03:06 – Jon Jones prays for unfair advantage before his fight
03:53 – Greg Jackson talks to Jon after the fight
04:27 – Jon Jones notices his broken toe

For a card that featured a nearly-severed toe and two technical decisions due to eye-pokes, hearing the voice of Satan during the UFC 159 broadcast fit in perfectly with the “Cursed” theme of the night. That eerie, disembodied voice — which seemed to say “Jerry Rips!”, whatever that means — popped up twice (if I recall correctly), most notably during the Bisping/Belcher fight. The next day, a YouTube user calling itself Jerry Rips uploaded this compilation of strange audio from the event, some of which you heard and some of which you definitely weren’t supposed to hear.

Did this Jerry Rips fellow hack into the event audio, and has he released this video as a showcase of his work? And what does Jerry Rips want from us? Should I sacrifice a dog to to His Dark Name just in case? Because I’m totally prepared to sacrifice a dog at this point. Check out the video above before it gets inevitably pulled. Here’s the rundown, from the video description:

00:00 – Hot mic catches event staff calling UFC gay
00:59 – Don’t boo Sara McMann
01:12 – ELBOWS
01:38 – Same event staff give their thoughts on chick fights
01:59 – Sheila Gaff flashing in the cage
02:02 – Michael Bisping hypes himself up backstage, talks shit on Belcher
02:33 – Bisping doesn’t want any fucking water
02:42 – Don’t make eye contact with Johnny Cash
03:00 – Jerry Rips debuts
03:06 – Jon Jones prays for unfair advantage before his fight
03:53 – Greg Jackson talks to Jon after the fight
04:27 – Jon Jones notices his broken toe

Oh, the Irony: June White is Back With Her Most Hilariously Misguided Venture Yet


(A dead-eyed lunatic who will not stop until she has destroyed her own kin? Where have we seen this sort of thing before?) 

Aren’t the elderly adorable, you guys? With their slow driving and their old-timey racism and their inability to adjust to current technological changes, they are all but walking punchlines just waiting to be set up! Take June White, for instance, who you might remember as the vitriolic, money-grubbing mother of UFC President Dana White. You see, old June wrote a tell-all book about her son a while back in which she claimed he was a soulless devil reincarnate, and has rightfully been raked over the coals for being the deplorable, transparent piece of garbage that she truly is in the time since. Typically, these attacks could be found in the form of comments like the one I just made on her Twitter account or her book’s Amazon page.

While most of us — like our buddies at Fightlinker, for instance — would write off the public’s harsh yet appropriate treatment of June as simple poetic justice, June herself has apparently viewed the backlash as an opportunity to self-implode with irony. Believe it or not, The Baldmother is now attempting to sue anonymous internet commenters with names like Bootyduty3 (If only I was joking) for “defamation, libel and civil conspiracy.” Sea Coast Online has the scoop:

June White, a Hampton resident and the mother of Ultimate Fighting Championship President Dana White, has filed a lawsuit to find out who has been smearing her name on the Internet ever since the release of a highly critical unauthorized biography she wrote about her son.

White claims a troop of cyberbullies — with aliases such as Bootyduty3, Joe Stranger and The Real June White — have been posting “horrific” comments about her and her family for more than a year. She said she fears her son’s company is behind the attacks. “I hate to say it but it could be (UFC that’s organizing the bad-mouthing), and that’s one of the reasons I really want to find out,” White said Wednesday. “If it is, that’s pretty sad.”

That’s Pretty Sad…June, I think someone just came up with the title of their soon-to-be-released autobiography!

More from this story, along with our running commentary, is after the jump.


(A dead-eyed lunatic who will not stop until she has destroyed her own kin? Where have we seen this sort of thing before?) 

Aren’t the elderly adorable, you guys? With their slow driving and their old-timey racism and their inability to adjust to current technological changes, they are all but walking punchlines just waiting to be set up! Take June White, for instance, who you might remember as the vitriolic, money-grubbing mother of UFC President Dana White. You see, old June wrote a tell-all book about her son a while back in which she claimed he was a soulless devil reincarnate, and has rightfully been raked over the coals for being the deplorable, transparent piece of garbage that she truly is in the time since. Typically, these attacks could be found in the form of comments like the one I just made on her Twitter account or her book’s Amazon page.

While most of us — like our buddies at Fightlinker, for instance — would write off the public’s harsh yet appropriate treatment of June as simple poetic justice, June herself has apparently viewed the backlash as an opportunity to self-implode with irony. Believe it or not, The Baldmother is now attempting to sue anonymous internet commenters with names like Bootyduty3 (If only I was joking) for “defamation, libel and civil conspiracy.” Sea Coast Online has the scoop:

June White, a Hampton resident and the mother of Ultimate Fighting Championship President Dana White, has filed a lawsuit to find out who has been smearing her name on the Internet ever since the release of a highly critical unauthorized biography she wrote about her son.

White claims a troop of cyberbullies — with aliases such as Bootyduty3, Joe Stranger and The Real June White — have been posting “horrific” comments about her and her family for more than a year. She said she fears her son’s company is behind the attacks. “I hate to say it but it could be (UFC that’s organizing the bad-mouthing), and that’s one of the reasons I really want to find out,” White said Wednesday. “If it is, that’s pretty sad.”

That’s Pretty Sad…June, I think someone just came up with the title of their soon-to-be-released autobiography!

But don’t worry, we haven’t reached the summit of Mt. Irony yet, Nation:

White said she filed a lawsuit with the U.S. District Court in New Hampshire on April 12 because she was told that’s the only way she can get a subpoena to find out who’s behind the aliases. She’s representing herself because attorneys quoted her “well over $100,000″ to carry out her suit.

The lawsuit charges 21 anonymous commenters with defamation, libel and civil conspiracy. It says they’ve called White “psycho,” “vindictive,” “spiteful,” and “pathetic,” among many expletives, and suggested that she and her family participated in sexual deviancy and drug abuse and that she both abandoned and kidnapped her children.

That must be tough, June, having random people throw spiteful and dishonest remarks at you like that. Well, at least spiteful. Now, just go with us for a minute here, but we’d like you to imagine what it would be like if one of those random people turned out to be the woman who gave birth to you. And even worse, she was making money off of the comments that served no other purpose than tearing you down. Unforgivable, right?

White said it was her supporters who initially pointed out that it could be the UFC organizing the attacks.

“They told me that (UFC) has a department that’s all they do is discredit people they’re mad at for whatever reason,” she said.

She said her supporters, like her, initially thought that Dana would intervene to put an end to the harassment.

“I had been waiting for Dana to tell whoever’s doing this to knock it off and defend his mom and family, and they were all surprised he wasn’t stepping up to the plate,” she said.

Alright, June, you’ve earned this one fair and square.

–J. Jones

Pro-Wrestling-Style Finishing Move of the Day: Anderson Ramos Wins Via Back Suplex Side Slam [VIDEO]

(Props: Giovani Brugnago via DamnSevern)

This quick ‘n’ nasty video was taken two Saturdays ago at a regional Brazilian promotion called Hawk Fight Championship, and features a dude named Anderson “Adele” Ramos (seriously?) knocking out his opponent with the kind of high-altitude body-slam that you don’t usually see outside of a pro-wrestling match. Though the move looked eerily familiar, I wasn’t sure what to call it, so I asked our resident pro-wrestling historian Seth Falvo if he could lend some assistance. After doing a bit of YouTube research, he directed me to this video of a “Back Suplex Side Slam,” and further explained via e-mail:

“It turns out no one used it as a finisher/trademarked a name for it that I can tell. I checked Undertaker, Dr Death, Bam Bam, Backlund, Taz, Kane, DDP…fucking no one named it anything. Vince McMahon’s famous “Whattamaneuver!” is probably it’s unofficial name.”

So there you have it. The Back Suplex Side Slam. Cue shooting star/piano music.


(Props: Giovani Brugnago via DamnSevern)

This quick ‘n’ nasty video was taken two Saturdays ago at a regional Brazilian promotion called Hawk Fight Championship, and features a dude named Anderson “Adele” Ramos (seriously?) knocking out his opponent with the kind of high-altitude body-slam that you don’t usually see outside of a pro-wrestling match. Though the move looked eerily familiar, I wasn’t sure what to call it, so I asked our resident pro-wrestling historian Seth Falvo if he could lend some assistance. After doing a bit of YouTube research, he directed me to this video of a “Back Suplex Side Slam,” and further explained via e-mail:

“It turns out no one used it as a finisher/trademarked a name for it that I can tell. I checked Undertaker, Dr Death, Bam Bam, Backlund, Taz, Kane, DDP…fucking no one named it anything. Vince McMahon’s famous “Whattamaneuver!” is probably it’s unofficial name.”

So there you have it. The Back Suplex Side Slam. Cue shooting star/piano music.

Stretch of the Day – The Boston Marathon Bombers Trained MMA (As If That Matters)


(I had no idea what image to use for this post, so since we’re talking about sports propaganda, let’s leave that to the experts. Props: sportspropaganda.com)

To be honest, I assumed that our coverage of the absolutely tragic Boston Marathon explosions would begin and end with the TD Garden singing “The Star-Spangled Banner” during Wednesday’s Boston Bruins game. It was a respectful tribute to the families of Monday’s victims, but let’s be honest, an MMA site shouldn’t provide continuous coverage of a story that has absolutely nothing to do with MMA. Post a quick tribute, freely acknowledge that it has nothing to do with MMA, and then back to our regularly scheduled programming, right?

If only it were that simple. Perhaps you’ve read that the suspects – Tamerlan Tsarnaev and Dzhokhar Tsarnaev – trained MMA [Author note: I’m not linking to other sites that have been claiming this, Google it if you’re so curious]. Don’t bother looking for a professional record for either suspect, because it doesn’t exist. Neither does an amateur record. Or any proof that they were preparing for MMA bouts of any kind, for that matter.

So what made them “MMA fighters?” Tamerlan boxed, and briefly did so out of Wai Kru MMA. Dzhokhar wrestled in high school. And not that it matters, but even the extent of either of them belonging to an MMA gym has been exaggerated:


(I had no idea what image to use for this post, so since we’re talking about sports propaganda, let’s leave that to the experts. Props: sportspropaganda.com)

To be honest, I assumed that our coverage of the absolutely tragic Boston Marathon explosions would begin and end with the TD Garden singing “The Star-Spangled Banner” during Wednesday’s Boston Bruins game. It was a respectful tribute to the families of Monday’s victims, but let’s be honest, an MMA site shouldn’t provide continuous coverage of a story that has absolutely nothing to do with MMA. Post a quick tribute, freely acknowledge that it has nothing to do with MMA, and then back to our regularly scheduled programming, right?

If only it were that simple. Perhaps you’ve read that the suspects – Tamerlan Tsarnaev and Dzhokhar Tsarnaev – trained MMA [Author note: I’m not linking to other sites that have been claiming this, Google it if you’re so curious]. Don’t bother looking for a professional record for either suspect, because it doesn’t exist. Neither does an amateur record. Or any proof that they were preparing for MMA bouts of any kind, for that matter.

So what made them “MMA fighters?” Tamerlan boxed, and briefly did so out of Wai Kru MMA. Dzhokhar wrestled in high school. And not that it matters, but even the extent of either of them belonging to an MMA gym has been exaggerated:

So, a boxer occasionally sparring at an MMA gym and a high school wrestler are MMA fighters, because ___________…and the favorite sports of two alleged terrorists are completely relevant, apparently, because ___________. If anyone can fill in those blanks, I’d greatly appreciate it.

@SethFalvo