(Symbol of eternal love and devotion…or DEATH TRAP? We’re just kidding. It’s both.)
We’re not sure if we can “thank” MiddleEasy for passing along the image that awaits you after the jump, but out of morbid curiosity, we are going to pass it along to you nonetheless. We do not know who the poor sap on the receiving end of this…flensing is; all we know is that he apparently suffered it while grappling with his wedding ring on. As if we needed another reason to take them off, amiright fellas? *raises hand for high-fives, receives none*
I know I have a tendency to embellish these things. I know this. But if the photo below does not make you recoil in disgust, then vomit into your lap and possibly even denounce the concept of marriage altogether, I will proudly hand over my expired press pass and gun to the CagePotato offices and retire.
You have been warned.
(Symbol of eternal love and devotion…or DEATH TRAP? We’re just kidding. It’s both.)
We’re not sure if we can “thank” MiddleEasy for passing along the image that awaits you after the jump, but out of morbid curiosity, we are going to pass it along to you nonetheless. We do not know who the poor sap on the receiving end of this…flensing is; all we know is that he apparently suffered it while grappling with his wedding ring on. As if we needed another reason to take them off, amiright fellas? *raises hand for high-fives, receives none*
I know I have a tendency to embellish these things. I know this. But if the photo below does not make you recoil in disgust, then vomit into your lap and possibly even denounce the concept of marriage altogether, I will proudly hand over my expired press pass and gun to the CagePotato offices and retire.
(“If you shortchange me again, Nick, I swear to God that retirement will no longer be an option for you.” Photo courtesy of Getty Images.)
Despite his longtime standing as one of the best referees in MMA, veteran official Josh Rosenthal has been noticeably absent from the octagon as of late. While he informed BloodyElbow earlier this month that his absence was the result of a staph infection, it turns out that his troubles were less physical — unless he has the worst case of glaucoma this world has ever seen — and more legal. According to the U.S. District Attorney’s office in Oakland, California, Rosenthal recently plead guilty to conspiracy to manufacture and distribute marijuana after a warehouse he owned containing 1,356 plants — valued at a street value of six million dollars — was raided last year. Rosenthal now faces a pretty lengthy jail sentence (via MMAJunkie):
Rosenthal is due in U.S. District Court on May 17. The government is recommending 37 months in jail, fines and five years of probation, during which he would be subject to random searches, according to the agreement. Without a deal, he faced 10 years to life in prison, a $10 million fine and a minimum of five years’ probation.
Rosenthal, who agreed to a plea deal in January, did not respond to request for comment. His lawyer of record, Ted W. Cassman, was unavailable for comment.
(“If you shortchange me again, Nick, I swear to God that retirement will no longer be an option for you.” Photo courtesy of Getty Images.)
Despite his longtime standing as one of the best referees in MMA, veteran official Josh Rosenthal has been noticeably absent from the octagon as of late. While he informed BloodyElbow earlier this month that his absence was the result of a staph infection, it turns out that his troubles were less physical — unless he has the worst case of glaucoma this world has ever seen — and more legal. According to the U.S. District Attorney’s office in Oakland, California, Rosenthal recently plead guilty to conspiracy to manufacture and distribute marijuana after a warehouse he owned containing 1,356 plants — valued at a street value of six million dollars — was raided last year. Rosenthal now faces a pretty lengthy jail sentence (via MMAJunkie):
Rosenthal is due in U.S. District Court on May 17. The government is recommending 37 months in jail, fines and five years of probation, during which he would be subject to random searches, according to the agreement. Without a deal, he faced 10 years to life in prison, a $10 million fine and a minimum of five years’ probation.
Rosenthal, who agreed to a plea deal in January, did not respond to request for comment. His lawyer of record, Ted W. Cassman, was unavailable for comment.
This of course begs one to ask: Why in the holy Hell was Rosenthal wasting his time separating sweaty dudes in a cage for peanuts when he was sitting on a goddamn gold mine? I know for a fact I’ve been told by experts in the field that harvest season isn’t for a couple of months, so unless Rosenthal has been using the UFC as his own personal barbershop over the years, it’s kind of puzzling that he would opt for the life of Joe Plumber over that of George Jung…
Then again, it sure would explain all of the recentdrug troubles the UFC has been having. TELL US WHO SOLD YOU THE DRUGS, DANA.
(Filho’s first and last appearance under the WSOF banner. We tried to find a video of just the highlights, but there are none.)
Every time it appears that Paulo Filho has hit rock bottom, someone throws him a shovel.
After starting his career with 16 straight wins (!), the former WEC middleweight champion has been sifting through the bowels of sub-mediocrity for the past five years, thanks in no small part to his on-again, off-again roofie addiction and general carelessness in regard to his own career. When Filho crawled out from under his rock to announce that he would be taking on David Branch at World Series of Fighting 2, we pretty much knew that we were in store for a shitshow. The fact that Filho appeared to be suffering another one of his mental breakdowns just days prior only furthered this notion.
And indeed, shit was shown at WSOF 2, with Filho putting on his best dying fish impression for what was probably the longest 15 minutes of Oliver Chan’s life. If you thought Filho’s performance was a joke in and of itself, just wait until you hear the details surrounding Filho that WSOF CEO Ray Sefo revealed in an interview with MMAJunkie:
(Filho’s first and last appearance under the WSOF banner. We tried to find a video of just the highlights, but there are none.)
Every time it appears that Paulo Filho has hit rock bottom, someone throws him a shovel.
After starting his career with 16 straight wins (!), the former WEC middleweight champion has been sifting through the bowels of sub-mediocrity for the past five years, thanks in no small part to his on-again, off-again roofie addiction and general carelessness in regard to his own career. When Filho crawled out from under his rock to announce that he would be taking on David Branch at World Series of Fighting 2, we pretty much knew that we were in store for a shitshow. The fact that Filho appeared to be suffering another one of his mental breakdowns just days prior only furthered this notion.
And indeed, shit was shown at WSOF 2, with Filho putting on his best dying fish impression for what was probably the longest 15 minutes of Oliver Chan’s life. If you thought Filho’s performance was a joke in and of itself, just wait until you hear the details surrounding Filho that WSOF CEO Ray Sefo revealed in an interview with MMAJunkie:
We went through a lot of issues. He didn’t even know who his manager was. … He had a couple of managers. At first, everything went smoothly. Then, toward the end, it was kind of rough.
I think he’s got to do a lot of soul-searching for himself and if this is what he really wants to continue doing. Right now, he’s definitely not on the next show.
We may be only a few months into 2013, but the list of potential Potato Award recipients is quickly filling up like it’s going out of style. We already have a strong frontrunner for “Flop of the Year” in Nick “Turbo Tax” Capes, and just last week, we introduced the greatest knockout of the year, “The Skywalker Crotchcracker” (a.k.a The Spinning Harold Howard, The McSleepytime Falcon Roundhouse, or The Over-the-Shoulder-Boulder-Holder).
And although the fight in which Olivier Fontaine was able to pull of this absolutely insane flying armbar actually went down in early February, the video of said armbar has only recently started making its way around the MMA blogosphere. We’ve thrown a full video of the fight above, but skip to the 1:28 mark to see just what we’re talking about.
After Sofian Benchohra manages to snatch up one of Fontaine’s legs on an attempted body kick, you assume Fontaine is seconds away from an always demoralizing leg sweep. WRONG. Fontaine counters with a beautiful spinning, flying armbar — almost a somersault armbar, if you will — that Gina Carano couldn’t pull off with all of the stunt coordinators in the world in her corner. After a brief struggle, Fontaine secures the tap shortly thereafter. Good night, my anus.
We may be only a few months into 2013, but the list of potential Potato Award recipients is quickly filling up like it’s going out of style. We already have a strong frontrunner for “Flop of the Year” in Nick “Turbo Tax” Capes, and just last week, we introduced the greatest knockout of the year, “The Skywalker Crotchcracker” (a.k.a The Spinning Harold Howard, The McSleepytime Falcon Roundhouse, or The Over-the-Shoulder-Boulder-Holder).
And although the fight in which Olivier Fontaine was able to pull of this absolutely insane flying armbar actually went down in early February, the video of said armbar has only recently started making its way around the MMA blogosphere. We’ve thrown a full video of the fight above, but skip to the 1:28 mark to see just what we’re talking about.
After Sofian Benchohra manages to snatch up one of Fontaine’s legs on an attempted body kick, you assume Fontaine is seconds away from an always demoralizing leg sweep. WRONG. Fontaine counters with a beautiful spinning, flying armbar — almost a somersault armbar, if you will — that Gina Carano couldn’t pull off with all of the stunt coordinators in the world in her corner. After a brief struggle, Fontaine secures the tap shortly thereafter. Good night, my anus.
The win improved Fontaine’s record to 4-2 and accounted for Benchohra’s 6th loss in his last 7 contests. Thankfully for Benchohra, next to no one will ever find out about this particularly depressing loss.
Perhaps the third time will be the charm for Nick Diaz.
Following his unanimous decision loss to Georges St. Pierre at UFC 158, Diaz’s camp first accused Georges St. Pierre’s handwraps of being shady in an effort to demonstrate that Nick Diaz was the victim of a massive conspiracy. That didn’t work, so then a video of the “Canadian loophole” was leaked to prove that the champion was allowed to weigh 0.9 pounds over the 170-pound weight limit. Of course, it turns out that Quebec’s athletic commission has consistently allowed this since UFC 83 in 2008, so that option isn’t nearly as scandalous as it once appeared. Now today, Diaz’s camp accused Quebec’s athletic commission of failing to properly supervise St. Pierre during his post-fight drug test.
But that’s not all. In an email sent to MMAFighting.com, Diaz camp representative Jonathan Tweedale explained that they intend to file a formal complaint regarding the events that took place before and after UFC 158. In this email, not only does Tweedale make it clear that Diaz and company were not impressed by the Quebec commission’s performance, but he goes as far as to write that Nick Diaz deserves a rematch against GSP. Via MMA Fighting:
“The Quebec Commission’s statement is a disappointing admission that the March 16 event was not conducted under the rules applicable to a UFC title fight – or under the rules the fighters contractually agreed to, upon which rules Mr. Diaz was entitled to rely under his bout agreement,” stated Jonathan Tweedale, a Diaz camp representative.
Perhaps the third time will be the charm for Nick Diaz.
Following his unanimous decision loss to Georges St. Pierre at UFC 158, Diaz’s camp first accused Georges St. Pierre’s handwraps of being shady in an effort to demonstrate that Nick Diaz was the victim of a massive conspiracy. That didn’t work, so then a video of the ”Canadian loophole” was leaked to prove that the champion was allowed to weigh 0.9 pounds over the 170-pound weight limit. Of course, it turns out that Quebec’s athletic commission has consistently allowed this since UFC 83 in 2008, so that option isn’t nearly as scandalous as it once appeared. Now today, Diaz’s camp accused Quebec’s athletic commission of failing to properly supervise St. Pierre during his post-fight drug test.
But that’s not all. In an email sent to MMAFighting.com, Diaz camp representative Jonathan Tweedale explained that they intend to file a formal complaint regarding the events that took place before and after UFC 158. In this email, not only does Tweedale make it clear that Diaz and company were not impressed by the Quebec commission’s performance, but he goes as far as to write that Nick Diaz deserves a rematch against GSP. Via MMA Fighting:
“The Quebec Commission’s statement is a disappointing admission that the March 16 event was not conducted under the rules applicable to a UFC title fight – or under the rules the fighters contractually agreed to, upon which rules Mr. Diaz was entitled to rely under his bout agreement,” stated Jonathan Tweedale, a Diaz camp representative.
Later in a lengthy statement, the Diaz camp claimed it will file an official complaint regarding the administration of St-Pierre’s drug test.
“Further serious irregularities including, inter alia, the Quebec Commission’s failure to supervise fighters’ provision of samples in connection with testing for Prohibited Substances and Prohibited Methods (under sections 71.1 to 71.6 of the Regulation), will be set out in an official complaint that will be filed imminently,” the Diaz camp stated.
I hate to be “that guy,” but if Diaz’s camp truly believes that the UFC wanted Nick Diaz to lose and that Quebec’s athletic commission is corrupt, then exactly what will filing a complaint accomplish? Eh, never mind. Let’s continue.
“Section 168 of the Regulation respecting combat sports provides that the maximum weight that a fighter must achieve at the official weigh-in shall be determined in advance by contract – and if the fighter does not make the contracted weight – in this case 170 pounds – then 20% of his purse or “the contestant’s remuneration” will be deducted and paid to his opponent (subsections (7) and (8)). The contracted weight for this fight was 170 pounds. 170.9 is not 170, anywhere in the world, for a title fight. There is no question what “170 pounds” means, in the bout agreement, as a matter of contractual interpretation.
“The Quebec Commission deliberately relaxed the rule in this case and, by its own admission, allowed their home-town fighter to ‘make weight’ even if he weighed more than the contracted weight.”
“In the circumstances, Mr. St-Pierre remains legally and ethically obligated to fight Mr. Diaz at 170 pounds or else vacate the belt in favor of those prepared to fight at welterweight.”
It’s interesting that Nick Diaz is handling this loss like he’s the new BJ Penn, especially considering the way that his camp reacted to BJ Penn’s allegations that Nick Diaz cheated during their encounter at UFC 137. Is Diaz caught in the middle of a massive conspiracy involving a corrupt organization, a shady athletic commission and an evil welterweight kingpin? Perhaps. Or maybe Nick Diaz simply lost a fight against the most dominant welterweight on the planet today. What do you think about this, Potato Nation?
(Oh, just rub some dirt on it, you fairy. We’re sure you’ll be fine.)
If this .gif from last weekend’s WOCS 24 bout between Magno Alexandre and Gustavo Franca proved anything, it’s that you don’t need to possess a freakish, 6’4″ lightweight frame like Corey Hill to have your leg snapped like a toothpick in an MMA fight. During the first round of a main card featherweight contest, Franca — like Hill before him — threw a low leg kick that was effortlessly checked by Alexandre. Which would have be fine…had Franca not taken a sworn oath against calcium in the 5th grade.
Franca’s leg proceeded to disintegrate beneath him, and I proceeded to regurgitate the contents of my breakfast all over myself. Thankfully, I usually start the day with a fifth of Elijah Craig (aged 18 years) and some York Peppermint Patties, the combination of which tastes just as good going down the second time in puree form.
So, Potato Nation, great lawn chair knockout or GREATEST lawn chair knockout?
(Oh, just rub some dirt on it, you fairy. We’re sure you’ll be fine.)
If this .gif from last weekend’s WOCS 24 bout between Magno Alexandre and Gustavo Franca proved anything, it’s that you don’t need to possess a freakish, 6’4″ lightweight frame like Corey Hill to have your leg snapped like a toothpick in an MMA fight. During the first round of a main card featherweight contest, Franca — like Hill before him — threw a low leg kick that was effortlessly checked by Alexandre. Which would have be fine…had Franca not taken a sworn oath against calcium in the 5th grade.
Franca’s leg proceeded to disintegrate beneath him, and I proceeded to regurgitate the contents of my breakfast all over myself. Thankfully, I usually start the day with a fifth of Elijah Craig (aged 18 years) and some York Peppermint Patties, the combination of which tastes just as good going down the second time in puree form.
So, Potato Nation, great lawn chair knockout or GREATEST lawn chair knockout?
