You remember how earlier, we were listing everything that was wrong with The Blackzilians while simultaneously stating that not everything is wrong with The Blackzilians? Case in point: Tyrone Spong, the world-renowned kickboxing powerhouse who joined the Florida-based camp prior to his successful MMA debut at World Series of Fighting 1. Given The Blackzilians “you are your own coach” philosophy, one could not ask for a better striker to spar with on a daily basis than Spong, who showcased his skills last Saturday by knocking out kickboxing legend Remy Bonjasky in the second round of their headlining bout at GLORY 5.
In the first round, Spong was content to take the lengthy Bonjasky’s legs out from under him with a series of punishing low kicks. Luckily, judges in the kickboxing world view leg kicks as something other than an annoyance, so Spong was awarded the round unanimously. The second round was an entirely different story, however, as both men opted to throw the kitchen sink at one another until one of them fell over. That man was Bonjasky, who crumbled to the mat following a vicious right hook by Spong. And just like that, it was good night my anus Irene, and another win for Spong over one of kickboxing’s greatest fighters.
We’ve thrown a full video of the fight above, so check it out if you get your jollies watching legends fall from grace. I’m going to go have a good cry.
You remember how earlier, we were listing everything that was wrong with The Blackzilians while simultaneously stating that not everything is wrong with The Blackzilians? Case in point: Tyrone Spong, the world-renowned kickboxing powerhouse who joined the Florida-based camp prior to his successful MMA debut at World Series of Fighting 1. Given The Blackzilians “you are your own coach” philosophy, one could not ask for a better striker to spar with on a daily basis than Spong, who showcased his skills last Saturday by knocking out kickboxing legend Remy Bonjasky in the second round of their headlining bout at GLORY 5.
In the first round, Spong was content to take the lengthy Bonjasky’s legs out from under him with a series of punishing low kicks. Luckily, judges in the kickboxing world view leg kicks as something other than an annoyance, so Spong was awarded the round unanimously. The second round was an entirely different story, however, as both men opted to throw the kitchen sink at one another until one of them fell over. That man was Bonjasky, who crumbled to the mat following a vicious right hook by Spong. And just like that, it was good night my anus Irene, and another win for Spong over one of kickboxing’s greatest fighters.
We’ve thrown a full video of the fight above, so check it out if you get your jollies watching legends fall from grace. I’m going to go have a good cry.
Look, we’re all busy today with our Christmas shopping/football watching/religious obligations/normal Sunday activities to waste too much time not driving to the liquor store before the parking lot fills up, so I’ll make this brief. Bantamweight prospect Cody Land fought James Harrington at featherweight during Disorderly Conduct MMA’s Season’s Beatings card last Friday. Harrington picks the wrong time to drop his hands and is met with a brutal overhand left. The result is equal parts this and this. One forced and awkward, yet obligatory “falling Christmas tree” joke later, and we’re ready for the holiday. Alright homies, let’s get drunk.
Look, we’re all busy today with our Christmas shopping/football watching/religious obligations/normal Sunday activities to waste too much time not driving to the liquor store before the parking lot fills up, so I’ll make this brief. Bantamweight prospect Cody Land fought James Harrington at featherweight during Disorderly Conduct MMA’s Season’s Beatings card last Friday. Harrington picks the wrong time to drop his hands and is met with a brutal overhand left. The result is equal parts this and this. One forced and awkward, yet obligatory “falling Christmas tree” joke later, and we’re ready for the holiday. Alright homies, let’s get drunk.
(Skip to the 1:30 mark to watch Karma work its magic.)
There is perhaps no greater a hooley-hoo punk-ass jabroni in the MMA world than the guy who fakes the glove tap and immediately tries to knock his opponent out/take him down. It’s a garbage ass maneuver, perpetrated by only the soggiest of floor turds, but the one good thing that can come from such blatant bitchassery is watching it backfire in said jabroni’s face. Paul Kelly tried it against Donald Cerrone at UFC 126 and was promptly strangled for his efforts. JR Fuller tried it against Jonathan Harris and was promptly dicknailed. But today’s cheap-shotter, Adam Fyfe, almost got away with this bitch move when he pulled it on fellow ammy Alex Thorne at Absolute Adrenaline: Platinum on November 4th. Almost.
(Skip to the 1:30 mark to watch Karma work its magic.)
There is perhaps no greater a hooley-hoo punk-ass jabroni in the MMA world than the guy who fakes the glove tap and immediately tries to knock his opponent out/take him down. It’s a garbage ass maneuver, perpetrated by only the soggiest of floor turds, but the one good thing that can come from such blatant bitchassery is watching it backfire in said jabroni’s face. Paul Kelly tried it against Donald Cerrone at UFC 126 and was promptly strangled for his efforts. JR Fuller tried it against Jonathan Harris and was promptly dicknailed. But today’s cheap-shotter, Adam Fyfe, almost got away with this bitch move when he pulled it on fellow ammy Alex Thorne at Absolute Adrenaline: Platinum on November 4th. Almost.
This son of a motherless goat even had the audacity to raise his fist first once the fight began, but before Thorne could even acknowledge the false attempt at sportsmanship, Fyfe pounced, dropping Thorne with a right hand that nearly sealed the deal right then and there. But what Fyfe failed to realize is that you just can’t keep a good man down, something one of his kin might have told him had he not been the product of the aforementioned goat sodomy.
After clearing the cobwebs as best as he could, Thorne rose back to his feet — not unlike the might Phoenix from that of its ashes — and caught Fyfe with a left hook that all but sent him into stasis. It looks like the goat that shat out Fyfe happened to be narcoleptic as well [BA DUM TSSH!].
It would be Fyfe’s fourth (T)KO loss in 7 fights, which begs one to ask what exactly he is trying to prove in the first place. Unless he is some kind of self-aware genius attempting to go down in MMA history as the martyr who sacrificed his brain to prove that justice still exists in this world, in which case he is undoubtedly succeeding.
(“If this isn’t a world where Mitt Romney is president, you can just put me back to sleep thank you very much.”)
As we mentioned in our head to head assessment of this weekend’s UFC Macao main event matchup, Rich Franklin is one tough SOB. So tough, in fact, that he not only managed to fight through a broken arm in his UFC 115 match against Hall of Famer Chuck Liddell, but even made sure to finish Liddell before the bell rung, for the fight could have likely been called in Liddell’s favor had both men made it to their corners.
So with the main card action kicking off at a completely reasonable 9 a.m. EST this Saturday, the UFC has released a couple of Franklin’s (as well as Le’s) fights online to give us all a little refresher course on what our two headliners have been up to. It’s a noble effort, but there’s simply no way in hell I will have recovered from my night of binge drinking, bum fighting, and huffing paint thinner through an old grease rag in time to catch any of the main card matchups live. They’re called priorities.
Anyway, head after the jump to take a stroll down memory lane, even though you probably remember the intricacies of this fight better than ol’ Chucky boy does.
(“If this isn’t a world where Mitt Romney is president, you can just put me back to sleep thank you very much.”)
As we mentioned in our head to head assessment of this weekend’s UFC Macao main event matchup, Rich Franklin is one tough SOB. So tough, in fact, that he not only managed to fight through a broken arm in his UFC 115 match against Hall of Famer Chuck Liddell, but even made sure to finish Liddell before the bell rung, for the fight could have likely been called in Liddell’s favor had both men made it to their corners.
So with the main card action kicking off at a completely reasonable 9 a.m. EST this Saturday, the UFC has released a couple of Franklin’s (as well as Le’s) fights online to give us all a little refresher course on what our two headliners have been up to. It’s a noble effort, but there’s simply no way in hell I will have recovered from my night of binge drinking, bum fighting, and huffing paint thinner through an old grease rag in time to catch any of the main card matchups live. They’re called priorities.
Anyway, head after the jump to take a stroll down memory lane, even though you probably remember the intricacies of this fight better than ol’ Chucky boy does.
The fight starts at the 10:20 mark, with a paunch-less Liddell throwing the arm-breaking kick shortly thereafter (11:26). At first, Franklin addresses the injury with less concern than most of us would address a hangnail with, but his moment of clarity comes the 12:14 mark, where he cleverly disguises an attempt to assess the damage with classic “checking my invisible watch” technique.
As for Liddell, he was truly in the zone that night, delivering a more diverse array of strikes and takedowns than we had seen in years, which makes it all the more disappointing when he gets overzealous with approximately 10 seconds left to go in the round and is promptly knocked the fuck out. The power of pink shorts, ladies and gentlemen. It’s a brutiful thing.
On the heels of his second unanimous decision victory over Wanderlei Silva at UFC 147, Franklin will be looking to string together his first two fight win streak since 2008 with a win over Cung Le. Do you think he can pull it off?
(Put her in a body bag! No seriously, could someone please dispose of that corpse as quickly as possible? I’m starting to feel queasy.)
No, that is not a screenshot from The Ring, that is the aftermath of the last time we saw Sheila Bird compete in this thing we call MMA. It took place back in July of 2011 against Kim Couture, and using the combination of a leg scissor choke and some of the worst referee negligence this side of Marius Zaromskis vs. Andrey Koreshkov, Bird not only came away with the win, but provided one photographer with the opportunity to stare into the fleeting remnants of Couture’s soul before she stole it. It was the first documented case of Shang Tsunging in WMMA history.
What are we going on about? Well, Ms. Bird stepped back into the octagon last weekend, and although the end result was nearly as horrific for her victim this time out, it was equally as decisive. Bird needed just 11 seconds to pack Christina Barry’s lunch and jam it down her throat brown bag and all at AFC 12 on Friday, so head after the jump to check out the brutal finish.
(Put her in a body bag! No seriously, could someone please dispose of that corpse as quickly as possible? I’m starting to feel queasy.)
No, that is not a screenshot from The Ring, that is the aftermath of the last time we saw Sheila Bird compete in this thing we call MMA. It took place back in July of 2011 against Kim Couture, and using the combination of a leg scissor choke and some of the worst referee negligence this side of Marius Zaromskis vs. Andrey Koreshkov, Bird not only came away with the win, but provided one photographer with the opportunity to stare into the fleeting remnants of Couture’s soul before she stole it. It was the first documented case of Shang Tsunging in WMMA history.
What are we going on about? Well, Ms. Bird stepped back into the octagon last weekend, and although the end result was nearly as horrific for her victim this time out, it was equally as decisive. Bird needed just 11 seconds to pack Christina Barry’s lunch and jam it down her throat brown bag and all at AFC 12 on Friday, so head after the jump to check out the brutal finish.
First off, Barry should’ve known she was in trouble the moment “Surfin’ Bird” came over the speakers. You see that, Andrei? THAT is how you incorporate your name/nickname into a song correctly; you stick with the classics. Now get back in the studio and find something that wouldn’t make Patrice Wilson blush.
Anyway, skip to the 6:10 mark for the beginning of the fight, then see how much work you can get done on that damned Penske file before it ends. My guess is none. With the win, Bird improved to 3-0 as a pro with all three wins coming by first round stoppage.
Confidence is like nature’s bath salts. Using a combination of trickery, implied reasoning, and outright tomfoolery, confidence basically transports us back to the ignorant serenity of youth. It surpasses logic, the physical limitations of the human body, and the laws of nature to convince its host that anything is achievable through the pure power of will. And just like bath salts, confidence can have devastating effects on the body it occupies. Just ask Melvin Guillard. Or Tom Brady. Or Hitler. I’m not saying that Tom Brady is Hitler reincarnated, I’m just saying.
So rather than take pot shots at the wellspring of confidence you will meet in the video above, I would rather like to commend him for it, as misplaced as it may have been. Because I can assure you that none of us — not one — has ever been as confident in our ourselves as this man, if even for the briefest second. Nick Diaz may have perfected the “Come at me, bro” pose in the octagon, but the motherfucker was never crazy enough to let one of his opponents tee off on him until he crumbled to the ground in a heap. This gentleman was so confident in his abilities that he knew he could get knocked the fuck out and still beat his opponent. Sure, the second half of his gameplan kind of fell apart, but still, respect. You’re move, Anderson.
(Props to Rodeo and bOredjOrd for the tip.)
Confidence is like nature’s bath salts. Using a combination of trickery, implied reasoning, and outright tomfoolery, confidence basically transports us back to the ignorant serenity of youth. It surpasses logic, the physical limitations of the human body, and the laws of nature to convince its host that anything is achievable through the pure power of will. And just like bath salts, confidence can have devastating effects on the body it occupies. Just ask Melvin Guillard. Or Tom Brady. Or Hitler. I’m not saying that Tom Brady is Hitler reincarnated, I’m just saying.
So rather than take pot shots at the wellspring of confidence you will meet in the video above, I would rather like to commend him for it, as misplaced as it may have been. Because I can assure you that none of us — not one — has ever been as confident in our ourselves as this man, if even for the briefest second. Nick Diaz may have perfected the “Come at me, bro” pose in the octagon, but the motherfucker was never crazy enough to let one of his opponents tee off on him until he crumbled to the ground in a heap. This gentleman was so confident in his abilities that he knew he could get knocked the fuck out and still beat his opponent. Sure, the second half of his gameplan kind of fell apart, but still, respect. You’re move, Anderson.
But perhaps even more impressive than our fallen comrade’s confidence is the entrance of the shirtless superhero at the 45 second mark, who descends from the rafters just moments shy of stopping the hilarious atrocity that has been committed. It was a noble effort, but Spiderman would’ve made it on time, bro.
