There’s an old proverb that goes “Learn to walk before you run.” I can think of no better way to better describe the ass-whooping you are about to witness. Apparently the gentleman in the blue shorts, packed to the brim with testosterone and hubris, thought that he had acquired the necessary skills to take on the Muay Thai instructor donning the green shorts and Alessio Sakara-esque tatts. Unfortunately, our boy Blue learned everything he needed to know about striking from a Bob Sapp highlight reel. When this kind of dangerous ignorance is combined with an unwillingness to admit defeat until you are slung over the ropes in a heap ala Rampage Jackson, well, you end up slung over the ropes in a heap like Rampage Jackson.
While it’s hard to knock a guy for his fearlessness, we would also like to inform Blue that there is in fact a middle ground between the heavy bag and Tong Po’s cousin to test your skills. Consider that while you’re eating cheeseburgers through a straw for the next week or two.
There’s an old proverb that goes “Learn to walk before you run.” I can think of no better way to better describe the ass-whooping you are about to witness. Apparently the gentleman in the blue shorts, packed to the brim with testosterone and hubris, thought that he had acquired the necessary skills to take on the Muay Thai instructor donning the green shorts and Alessio Sakara-esque tatts. Unfortunately, our boy Blue learned everything he needed to know about striking from a Bob Sapp highlight reel. When this kind of dangerous ignorance is combined with an unwillingness to admit defeat until you are slung over the ropes in a heap ala Rampage Jackson, well, you end up slung over the ropes in a heap like Rampage Jackson.
While it’s hard to knock a guy for his fearlessness, we would also like to inform Blue that there is in fact a middle ground between the heavy bag and Tong Po’s cousin to test your skills. Consider that while you’re eating cheeseburgers through a straw for the next week or two.
(Put her in a body bag! No seriously, could someone please dispose of that corpse as quickly as possible? I’m starting to feel queasy.)
No, that is not a screenshot from The Ring, that is the aftermath of the last time we saw Sheila Bird compete in this thing we call MMA. It took place back in July of 2011 against Kim Couture, and using the combination of a leg scissor choke and some of the worst referee negligence this side of Marius Zaromskis vs. Andrey Koreshkov, Bird not only came away with the win, but provided one photographer with the opportunity to stare into the fleeting remnants of Couture’s soul before she stole it. It was the first documented case of Shang Tsunging in WMMA history.
What are we going on about? Well, Ms. Bird stepped back into the octagon last weekend, and although the end result was nearly as horrific for her victim this time out, it was equally as decisive. Bird needed just 11 seconds to pack Christina Barry’s lunch and jam it down her throat brown bag and all at AFC 12 on Friday, so head after the jump to check out the brutal finish.
(Put her in a body bag! No seriously, could someone please dispose of that corpse as quickly as possible? I’m starting to feel queasy.)
No, that is not a screenshot from The Ring, that is the aftermath of the last time we saw Sheila Bird compete in this thing we call MMA. It took place back in July of 2011 against Kim Couture, and using the combination of a leg scissor choke and some of the worst referee negligence this side of Marius Zaromskis vs. Andrey Koreshkov, Bird not only came away with the win, but provided one photographer with the opportunity to stare into the fleeting remnants of Couture’s soul before she stole it. It was the first documented case of Shang Tsunging in WMMA history.
What are we going on about? Well, Ms. Bird stepped back into the octagon last weekend, and although the end result was nearly as horrific for her victim this time out, it was equally as decisive. Bird needed just 11 seconds to pack Christina Barry’s lunch and jam it down her throat brown bag and all at AFC 12 on Friday, so head after the jump to check out the brutal finish.
First off, Barry should’ve known she was in trouble the moment “Surfin’ Bird” came over the speakers. You see that, Andrei? THAT is how you incorporate your name/nickname into a song correctly; you stick with the classics. Now get back in the studio and find something that wouldn’t make Patrice Wilson blush.
Anyway, skip to the 6:10 mark for the beginning of the fight, then see how much work you can get done on that damned Penske file before it ends. My guess is none. With the win, Bird improved to 3-0 as a pro with all three wins coming by first round stoppage.
The main event of last night’s Bellator 79 produced one of the oddest instances of an athlete giving up mid-contest since Bob Hamelin retired during a minor league baseball game. Santos dominates the fight from the beginning, rocking him with early combinations and controlling him on the ground. Yet as the fighters are separated, Santos takes out his mouth guard and appears disinterested in continuing. A few half-assed punches later, Hale counters Santos, who drops to the canvas and turtles up until the fight is waived off.
Was this just a case of Thiago Santos having conditioning issues? Probably, although gassing out halfway through the first round is pathetic even at the amateur levels. Is Richard Hale’s striking just that underrated? Maybe – Santos lost a tooth during the fight, which explains why his mouth was bleeding, although don’t ask me to point out the punch that caused it. Regardless of the reason, Hale earned a victory last night because Santos essentially gave up during the fight, and will now face the winner of Vinicius Queiroz vs. Alexander Volkov for the promotion’s heavyweight championship.
After the jump – Shahbulat Shamhalaev knocks out Mike Richman at Bellator 79 in a far more traditional fashion.
The main event of last night’s Bellator 79 produced one of the oddest instances of an athlete giving up mid-contest since Bob Hamelin retired during a minor league baseball game. Santos dominates the fight from the beginning, rocking him with early combinations and controlling him on the ground. Yet as the fighters are separated, Santos takes out his mouth guard and appears disinterested in continuing. A few half-assed punches later, Hale counters Santos, who drops to the canvas and turtles up until the fight is waived off.
Was this just a case of Thiago Santos having conditioning issues? Probably, although gassing out halfway through the first round is pathetic even at the amateur levels. Is Richard Hale’s striking just that underrated? Maybe – Santos lost a tooth during the fight, which explains why his mouth was bleeding, although don’t ask me to point out the punch that caused it. Regardless of the reason, Hale earned a victory last night because Santos essentially gave up during the fight, and will now face the winner of Vinicius Queiroz vs. Alexander Volkov for the promotion’s heavyweight championship.
After the jump – Shahbulat Shamhalaev knocks out Mike Richman at Bellator 79 in a far more traditional fashion.
(Pikeew pikeew! I got you! Nu-uh! I totally got you first!)
In the past three years, Thiago Silva has been knocked out by Lyoto Machida, out-grappled by Rashad Evans, suspended from the UFC for attempting to mask his roid-filled urine after his fight with Brandon Vera, and out struck by Alexander Gustafsson. Needless to say, Silva is probably going to get axed if he doesn’t win big against Stanislav Nedkov at the pair’s upcoming duel at UFC on FUEL 6. The undefeated Nedkov has also spent more time on the shelf than off lately, battling injuries and visa issues for the better part of his two-year UFC career, but barring any last minute issues, these two will clash on November 10th in Cotai, Macau. And based on their finishing ratios, we’re fairly certain that this one will end inside of three rounds.
So in honor of the occasion, we’ve dug up Silva’s last official victory — which came over Keith Jardine via knockout (I know, you’re shocked too) at UFC 102 in August of 2009 — and placed it after the jump for your enjoyment. Because it is Halloween after all, and who won’t sleep better knowing that the scary monster in your closet can easily be felled with a solid left hook?
(Pikeew pikeew! I got you! Nu-uh! I totally got you first!)
In the past three years, Thiago Silva has been knocked out by Lyoto Machida, out-grappled by Rashad Evans, suspended from the UFC for attempting to mask his roid-filled urine after his fight with Brandon Vera, and out struck by Alexander Gustafsson. Needless to say, Silva is probably going to get axed if he doesn’t win big against Stanislav Nedkov at the pair’s upcoming duel at UFC on FUEL 6. The undefeated Nedkov has also spent more time on the shelf than off lately, battling injuries and visa issues for the better part of his two-year UFC career, but barring any last minute issues, these two will clash on November 10th in Cotai, Macau. And based on their finishing ratios, we’re fairly certain that this one will end inside of three rounds.
So in honor of the occasion, we’ve dug up Silva’s last official victory — which came over Keith Jardine via knockout (I know, you’re shocked too) at UFC 102 in August of 2009 — and placed it after the jump for your enjoyment. Because it is Halloween after all, and who won’t sleep better knowing that the scary monster in your closet can easily be felled with a solid left hook?
Confidence is like nature’s bath salts. Using a combination of trickery, implied reasoning, and outright tomfoolery, confidence basically transports us back to the ignorant serenity of youth. It surpasses logic, the physical limitations of the human body, and the laws of nature to convince its host that anything is achievable through the pure power of will. And just like bath salts, confidence can have devastating effects on the body it occupies. Just ask Melvin Guillard. Or Tom Brady. Or Hitler. I’m not saying that Tom Brady is Hitler reincarnated, I’m just saying.
So rather than take pot shots at the wellspring of confidence you will meet in the video above, I would rather like to commend him for it, as misplaced as it may have been. Because I can assure you that none of us — not one — has ever been as confident in our ourselves as this man, if even for the briefest second. Nick Diaz may have perfected the “Come at me, bro” pose in the octagon, but the motherfucker was never crazy enough to let one of his opponents tee off on him until he crumbled to the ground in a heap. This gentleman was so confident in his abilities that he knew he could get knocked the fuck out and still beat his opponent. Sure, the second half of his gameplan kind of fell apart, but still, respect. You’re move, Anderson.
(Props to Rodeo and bOredjOrd for the tip.)
Confidence is like nature’s bath salts. Using a combination of trickery, implied reasoning, and outright tomfoolery, confidence basically transports us back to the ignorant serenity of youth. It surpasses logic, the physical limitations of the human body, and the laws of nature to convince its host that anything is achievable through the pure power of will. And just like bath salts, confidence can have devastating effects on the body it occupies. Just ask Melvin Guillard. Or Tom Brady. Or Hitler. I’m not saying that Tom Brady is Hitler reincarnated, I’m just saying.
So rather than take pot shots at the wellspring of confidence you will meet in the video above, I would rather like to commend him for it, as misplaced as it may have been. Because I can assure you that none of us — not one — has ever been as confident in our ourselves as this man, if even for the briefest second. Nick Diaz may have perfected the “Come at me, bro” pose in the octagon, but the motherfucker was never crazy enough to let one of his opponents tee off on him until he crumbled to the ground in a heap. This gentleman was so confident in his abilities that he knew he could get knocked the fuck out and still beat his opponent. Sure, the second half of his gameplan kind of fell apart, but still, respect. You’re move, Anderson.
But perhaps even more impressive than our fallen comrade’s confidence is the entrance of the shirtless superhero at the 45 second mark, who descends from the rafters just moments shy of stopping the hilarious atrocity that has been committed. It was a noble effort, but Spiderman would’ve made it on time, bro.
(Props to MMAFighting for the find. The fight starts/ends at the 45 second mark.)
Yesterday’s knockout of the day featured a poor sap who was simply unprepared to deal with his opponent’s Rockette-esque strategy of starting the show with a high kick. And while today’s victim was lucky enough to make it through her opponent’s first kick intact, she completely forgot to follow the most basic rule of fighting: Always keep your hands up. This mental error would prove most detrimental to her 1-0 record as a professional fighter.
(Props to MMAFighting for the find. The fight starts/ends at the 45 second mark.)
Yesterday’s knockout of the day featured a poor sap who was simply unprepared to deal with his opponent’s Rockette-esque strategy of starting the show with a high kick. And while today’s victim was lucky enough to make it through her opponent’s first kick intact, she completely forgot to follow the most basic rule of fighting: Always keep your hands up. This mental error would prove most detrimental to her 1-0 record as a professional fighter.
