Tag: man vs. woman

Oh, Thank Christ: Brazilian MMA Confederation Officially Shitcans Man vs. Woman Fight at Shooto 45


(“Equality,” as pictured by a lunatic.) 

We can all breath a sigh of relief, Nation, because the necessary persons have officially (thankfully) put an end to this man vs. woman MMA fight nonsense. The matchup, which was announced as part of Friday’s Shooto 45 event earlier this week, was almost immediately reviled by fans across the MMA blogosphere. Maybe because it was asking us to accept common assault as sport, or maybe because the woman, Juliana Velasquez, would be making her professional debut, but for some reason, no one really wanted to see this travesty unfold and further roadblock MMA from legitimization.

Except for Emerson Falcao (a.k.a “the man”), that is, who insists that our sport is destined for an Andy Kaufman-esque fantasyscape in the near future (via MMAFighting):

I was hired to fight, and I’m going there to fight. My job is to train and fight. This is the first of the many man vs. woman fights that will come in the future. You’ll see. This is going to be huge. We’re here to shock the world.

Yes, “shock the world.” Because our fine sport should abide by the philosophy of Marilyn Manson if it ever wants to succeed.

While it was originally being reported that Velasquez vs. Falcao would be taking place tomorrow with a special “No elbows, no knees” stipulation, the Brazilian Mixed Martial Arts Federation stepped in at today’s weigh-ins and cancelled this thing outright. As the CBMMA’s Osiris Maia stated:


(“Equality,” as pictured by a lunatic.) 

We can all breath a sigh of relief, Nation, because the necessary persons have officially (thankfully) put an end to this man vs. woman MMA fight nonsense. The matchup, which was announced as part of Friday’s Shooto 45 event earlier this week, was almost immediately reviled by fans across the MMA blogosphere. Maybe because it was asking us to accept common assault as sport, or maybe because the woman, Juliana Velasquez, would be making her professional debut, but for some reason, no one really wanted to see this travesty unfold and further roadblock MMA from legitimization.

Except for Emerson Falcao (a.k.a “the man”), that is, who insists that our sport is destined for an Andy Kaufman-esque fantasyscape in the near future (via MMAFighting):

I was hired to fight, and I’m going there to fight. My job is to train and fight. This is the first of the many man vs. woman fights that will come in the future. You’ll see. This is going to be huge. We’re here to shock the world.

Yes, “shock the world.” Because our fine sport should abide by the philosophy of Marilyn Manson if it ever wants to succeed.

While it was originally being reported that Velasquez vs. Falcao would be taking place tomorrow with a special “No elbows, no knees” stipulation, the Brazilian Mixed Martial Arts Federation stepped in at today’s weigh-ins and cancelled this thing outright. As the CBMMA’s Osiris Maia stated:

We can’t do something like that. (The promoter) can ask everything, even a MMA fight with three guys against one, but we obviously won’t allow it.

This ‘fight’ has a social representation that is more important for the society than to the sport. There’s no way a man should fight a woman. This is being done only to show the society the importance of ‘Lei Maria da Penha’. You can’t have a man beating a woman in a sport, so it shouldn’t happen anywhere. That’s what they want to show.

Phew, that was a close one. For a second there, I actually thought this shit was going to happen.

Honesty, I think what we should all take away from this almost-fight is that the first “official” man vs. woman MMA fight should not be contested between two unknowns on card buried in the vast jungles of Brazil, it should be contested between Kim Couture and Akebono, in the UFC. If we’re gonna see a man utterly humiliate a woman for our amusement, we should at least be willing to go all out with it.

–J. Jones

Terrible, Stupid, Just Awful Idea of the Day: A Man vs. Woman Fight is Going Down at Shooto Brazil 45 This Weekend [UPDATED]

God damn it, you guys. God. Damn. It.

Maybe it’s just me, but everytime it seems like this thing we call MMA is finally on the right track towards honest-to-God legitimacy, Jose Canseco shows up, or the UFC signs a yoga instructor(‘s death warrant), or some shit like this happens and we’re back to square one.

Begin the SMH’ing, because some Brazilian website is reporting that Shooto, one of Brazil’s longest and (formerly) most prestigious MMA organizations, is planning a man vs. woman fight at this weekend’s Shooto Brazil 45. Specifically, Nova Uniao product Emerson Falcao vs. Team Nogueira’s Juliana Velasquez. Who will be making her professional debut. 

I…I just can’t anymore, you guys. Wiping my hands of this whole thing.

And who came up with this fucking ree-dick-you-lus idea, you ask? Oh, just Andre Pederneiras, the legendary Uniao founder/trainer who has seemed like a relatively intelligent individual up until this point. Maybe he knows something we don’t. In any case, here’s the scoop, as Velasquez told MMAFighting:

God damn it, you guys. God. Damn. It.

Maybe it’s just me, but everytime it seems like this thing we call MMA is finally on the right track towards honest-to-God legitimacy, Jose Canseco shows up, or the UFC signs a yoga instructor(‘s death warrant), or some shit like this happens and we’re back to square one.

Begin the SMH’ing, because some Brazilian website is reporting that Shooto, one of Brazil’s longest and (formerly) most prestigious MMA organizations, is planning a man vs. woman fight at this weekend’s Shooto Brazil 45. Specifically, Nova Uniao product Emerson Falcao vs. Team Nogueira’s Juliana Velasquez. Who will be making her professional debut. 

I…I just can’t anymore, you guys. Wiping my hands of this whole thing.

And who came up with this fucking ree-dick-you-lus idea, you ask? Oh, just Andre Pederneiras, the legendary Uniao founder/trainer who has seemed like a relatively intelligent individual up until this point. Maybe he knows something we don’t. In any case, here’s the scoop, as Velasquez told MMAFighting:

Andre Pederneiras came up with the idea. He asked Team Nogueira for a female fighter and my team believes I’m ready, so I accepted the challenge. My expectations are the best. I’m well trained to get there and win.

I’m used to training with man every day. I’m a professional judoka and I know the adrenaline of the competition, I know how to handle this.

Look, it’s not like a woman can’t beat a man in an MMA fight. Ediane Gomes did it. Cyborg Santos probably does it on weekends for kicks. But there’s just something about this whole idea that seems so…

[UPDATE]

(via MMAFighting) Thank the heavens, this thing might not actually be happening:

Osiris Maia, member of the Brazilian Mixed Martial Arts Confederation, the entity responsible for regulating the Shooto Brazil events, is not sure if they will allow the male vs. female fight to happen.

“There’s nothing in the rules that specific prohibits a man to fight a woman, but when you interpret the rules you know that both athletes must be in the same level, so there’s no way a man should be allowed to fight a woman,” Maia told MMAFighting.com.

“We haven’t received the official card yet from the promotion, we’ll get that (on Thursday) at the weigh-ins,” he continued. “I wasn’t informed about that yet. They announced it to the media only, but if you ask me if we’re allowing it to happen, I don’t think so. I think it’s a disparity. We’ll see what’s going on tomorrow at the weigh-ins.”

Well, it’s good to know that there’s at least one sane individual in all of Brazil who will at least wait until the weigh-ins to call this sham off. The little victories, Nation. The little victories.

We will have more on this story travesty as details are made available.

–J. Jones