Any person who willfully inflicts upon a person who is his or her spouse, former spouse, cohabitant, former cohabitant, or the mother or father of his or her child, corporal injury resulting in a traumatic condition is guilty of a felony, and upon conviction thereof shall be punished by imprisonment in the state prison for two, three, or four years, or in a county jail for not more than one year, or by a fine of up to six thousand dollars ($6,000) or by both that fine and imprisonment.
Over the past two years, we’ve seen Mayhem go from lovably eccentric to unstable and potentially dangerous to himself and others. The troubles officially began in May 2012, when he was fired by the UFC for, and I quote, “some crazy shit” that happened backstage at UFC 146. Three months later, he was arrested for a bizarre naked burglary at an Orange County church; charges for that incident were later dropped. And then, two months after the church thing, Miller had his infamous “Lucky Patrick” appearance on The MMA Hour, which could charitably be described as a promotional appearance gone awry.
Mayhem’s life has been much less eventful this year, thankfully, although he did whip out a knife during a FOX LA interview segment last month and started slicing up his t-shirt, which was kind of weird and uncomfortable. We’ll update you when we know more about Miller’s latest arrest.
(It’s a good start, Jason, but you’ve still got a long way to go before you catch up to Luke Cummo. / Photo via MMAWeekly)
Any person who willfully inflicts upon a person who is his or her spouse, former spouse, cohabitant, former cohabitant, or the mother or father of his or her child, corporal injury resulting in a traumatic condition is guilty of a felony, and upon conviction thereof shall be punished by imprisonment in the state prison for two, three, or four years, or in a county jail for not more than one year, or by a fine of up to six thousand dollars ($6,000) or by both that fine and imprisonment.
Over the past two years, we’ve seen Mayhem go from lovably eccentric to unstable and potentially dangerous to himself and others. The troubles officially began in May 2012, when he was fired by the UFC for, and I quote, “some crazy shit” that happened backstage at UFC 146. Three months later, he was arrested for a bizarre naked burglary at an Orange County church; charges for that incident were later dropped. And then, two months after the church thing, Miller had his infamous “Lucky Patrick” appearance on The MMA Hour, which could charitably be described as a promotional appearance gone awry.
Mayhem’s life has been much less eventful this year, thankfully, although he did whip out a knife during a FOX LA interview segment last month and started slicing up his t-shirt, which was kind of weird and uncomfortable. We’ll update you when we know more about Miller’s latest arrest.
(Kirk Lazarus gave this performance five out of five crab apples.)
I have never met Jason Miller before. Like most of you, the only perception I have of “Mayhem” as a person has been constructed through interview snippets, heavily-edited reality shows, Twitter ramblings, and the occasional MMA fight. And while this criteria alone may be enough for me to declare my dislike for certain fighters, I have always found it difficult to assess just who exactly this Miller character is — especially in light of recent events — let alone render a verdict on the guy. Because that’s what Mayhem is: a character. And for people to believe that he is truly this completely bonkers, attention-starved individual at every waking moment seemed as ridiculous to me as believing that Chael Sonnen truly is the character he plays on TV. Yet in both instances, there is a strong majority of people who seem to feel this way.
What am I going on about? Well, it just so happens that Mayhem recently agreed to partake in a lengthy interview with Ariel Helwani, having finally shed the “Lucky Patrick” alter-alter-ego that saw him storm off Helwani’s show just a few weeks ago. In the interview that awaits you after the jump, Miller discusses everything from the Twitter war he and Dana White engaged in shortly after his firing to his bizarre arrest in a San Viejo church. And while I was happy to see that Miller appeared to be in sound mental shape for the time being, I couldn’t help but feel as if his explanation for those events was a little fishy.
If you’ve got the time, check out the video and let us know if you agree.
(Kirk Lazarus gave this performance five out of five crab apples.)
I have never met Jason Miller before. Like most of you, the only perception I have of “Mayhem” as a person has been constructed through interview snippets, heavily-edited reality shows, Twitter ramblings, and the occasional MMA fight. And while this criteria alone may be enough for me to declare my dislike for certain fighters, I have always found it difficult to assess just who exactly this Miller character is — especially in light of recent events — let alone render a verdict on the guy. Because that’s what Mayhem is: a character. And for people to believe that he is truly this completely bonkers, attention-starved individual at every waking moment seemed as ridiculous to me as believing that Chael Sonnen truly is the character he plays on TV. Yet in both instances, there is a strong majority of people who seem to feel this way.
What am I going on about? Well, it just so happens that Mayhem recently agreed to partake in a lengthy interview with Ariel Helwani, having finally shed the “Lucky Patrick” alter-alter-ego that saw him storm off Helwani’s show just a few weeks ago. In the interview that awaits you after the jump, Miller discusses everything from the Twitter war he and Dana White engaged in shortly after his firing to his bizarre arrest in a San Viejo church. And while I was happy to see that Miller appeared to be in sound mental shape for the time being, I couldn’t help but feel as if his explanation for those events was a little fishy.
If you’ve got the time, check out the video and let us know if you agree.
Look, I honestly want to believe what Miller is saying. I truly do. For some reason, I find him to be a smart yet misguided but overall likable guy once he sheds the “Mayhem” image. Hell, I’d rather listen to a million Lucky Patrick rants than have to hear even one more fighter spit out the same cliched, almost pre-determined interview answers that we are so used to hearing. And I am not going to call Miller a liar, but suffice it to say, I found some of his answers to the questions we have all been wondering to be just a bit…off. Perhaps appropriately so.
On his “Lucky Patrick” meltdown: “I’m always trying to learn and get better at whatever it is I’m trying to do. Like the acting thing. I got you with the whole Patrick thing because I really stayed in character, I had like a developed backstory, you know, these are methods that actors have used forever. And I just do the same thing I did in fighting to make myself successful. At 19, I got up in Tito Ortiz’s face and was like ‘Hey man, let’s wrestle’…because I wanted to get some of that magic off him.”
Now, I have not seen Here Comes the Boom because I have the ability to recognize a turd even before it has reached my small intestine, but according to Jim Genia’s review (and several others), Miller’s part in the film accounts for roughly five minutes of screen time and features none of the lush backstory that he is describing. As a film fanatic/student, I appreciate his effort to immerse himself as deeply as possible into his role, as minute as it may have been, but if he honestly expects me to believe that he had to go through what he did to accurately portray an MMA fighter with green hair, I call bullshit.
On his “kill yourself” tweet to Dana White: “When I said that, what I meant [was] kill the man that you are today, mentally. Kill him, become someone new. And that was what I was getting at. But it was also a joke.”
This one is a classic example of wanting to have your cake and eat it too. I could be wrong here, but I’m pretty sure that no one in the history of Twitter has ever even attempted to convey a message as pseudo-philosophical as this, let alone in the context of a joke. Twitter is a place we collectively gather to tell rape jokes, spew hatred and intolerance, and show a complete disregard for the fundamental principles of the English language. Basically, it’s the internet’s version of a Tea Party convention (BAZING!). And Miller wants us to believe that he was offering spiritual advice to a man who not only “never looked him in the eye,” but had just fired and publicly lambasted him days earlier? Child please. The only bit of advice I’ve ever offered an ex-employee or boss of mine was that they metaphorically copulate with themselves at the nearest convenience and I’m sure the same goes for most of you.
On his recent arrest: “Like I said, I live a very exciting life. That’s simply a misunderstanding, and really, it’s between me and my pastor. And that’s it. Brian Anderson, Mission Hills Church! Shout out to you! I’ll tell you what happened. I have performed under the moniker “Mayhem” for many years. And, most recently have got the title “Ultimate” slapped in front of my job. These combination of things makes any well meaning cop pull his pistol. Cause I look like a psycho. Understand? And I understand that. I just didn’t have time to clean up…I was waking up in the morning, I didn’t have time to say anything, I just had a pistol shoved in my face.”
Miller also stated that he wasn’t nude and was actually wearing a bathrobe, but none of that even begins to clarify what actually went down. Who is this pastor/coach Anderson fellow? Why was Miller wearing a bathrobe and sleeping in a church in the first place? Why would he vandalize a church he apparently attended on a regular basis? I guess The Case of the Nude Loon is just one that this gang will never be able to solve.
Again, I am in no place to call Miller out on his reasoning, and even if I did, I’m pretty sure Mayhem couldn’t really give two shits about what I have to say. So for now, I guess we should just be thankful that he is back to normal, whatever that is, and move on. That being said, it is interesting to finally see an interview with the guy where he isn’t bouncing off the walls or attempting a publicity stunt.
Miller also goes on to detail the knee injury he suffered in his match against CB Dolloway, as well as his future in MMA and Jacob Volkmann’s politics, for some reason. So check it out and let us know what you think.
(I’ll just sit here and be quiet, just in case they do… suspect me. They’re probably watching me. Well, let them. Let them see what kind of a person I am. I’m not even going to swat that fly. I hope they are watching… they’ll see. They’ll see and they’ll know, and they’ll say, “Why, he wouldn’t even harm a fly…”)
After suffering the greatest loss of his storied mixed martial arts career last month — that of his dignity — when he was found nude inside a Mission Viejo church he had destroyed and doused with a fire extinguisher, it appears that charges are finally being pressed against former UFC/Strikeforce fighter and MTV psuedo-reality show hostJason Miller. And they are relatively modest considering both the circumstances of his arrest and the fact that this wasn’t Miller’s first rodeo, if you know what we mean; Miller is being charged with just one count of misdemeanor vandalism for his actions, and is set to appear in court on November 21st.
“Mayhem,” who was released from jail following a brief psychological evaluation, promised to his fans and those concerned that “everything was fine” and that he was “with people that love me, and hope that you will join me. If I ever hurt anyone, I am sorry,” in his first public statement, but hasn’t been heard from since. Fun fact: Miller was arrested almost one year to the day after his aforementioned arrest for putting his sister in a headlock. Apparently that August heat really does drive some people crazy.
Elsewhere on the MMA blotter…
(I’ll just sit here and be quiet, just in case they do… suspect me. They’re probably watching me. Well, let them. Let them see what kind of a person I am. I’m not even going to swat that fly. I hope they are watching… they’ll see. They’ll see and they’ll know, and they’ll say, “Why, he wouldn’t even harm a fly…”)
After suffering the greatest loss of his storied mixed martial arts career last month — that of his dignity — when he was found nude inside a Mission Viejo church he had destroyed and doused with a fire extinguisher, it appears that charges are finally being pressed against former UFC/Strikeforce fighter and MTV psuedo-reality show hostJason Miller. And they are relatively modest considering both the circumstances of his arrest and the fact that this wasn’t Miller’s first rodeo, if you know what we mean; Miller is being charged with just one count of misdemeanor vandalism for his actions, and is set to appear in court on November 21st.
“Mayhem,” who was released from jail following a brief psychological evaluation, promised to his fans and those concerned that “everything was fine” and that he was “with people that love me, and hope that you will join me. If I ever hurt anyone, I am sorry,” in his first public statement, but hasn’t been heard from since. Fun fact: Miller was arrested almost one year to the day after his aforementioned arrest for putting his sister in a headlock. Apparently that August heat really does drive some people crazy.
Elsewhere on the MMA blotter…
To say that the circumstances surrounding flyweight contender Ian McCall’s recent arrest were suspicious would be like saying that Ian McCall’s nickname is an accurate reflection of the vibe he gives off. The charges that were originally reported to be facing McCall ranged everywhere from possession of drug paraphernalia to driving on a suspended license and mislead the public into suspecting that McCall had fallen back into old habits.
When it turned out that the charges dated way back to a previous arrest in 2008 which McCall had failed to complete the terms of, “Uncle Creepy” was surprised to say the least, but claimed that the reasoning behind his arrest was much more sinister than we were originally led on, according to a recent interview during The MMA Hour:
They thought I was a drug dealer. Don’t know why. Well, actually, I know why. Someone that doesn’t like me told them I was a drug dealer. An actual drug dealer that doesn’t like me got busted — I’ve seen the paperwork — and said ‘oh, he’s a drug dealer too.’
And they came over to my house and they didn’t find any drugs, they didn’t find any text messages, they didn’t find anything bad. So they’re like ‘okay, you’re not a drug dealer, but your probation officer said to come get you anyways because you have a suspended license.
Oh, I see. The police used the classic method of dropping a fake bombshell to soften the blow for the actual bad news, a technique pioneered by the great Frank Reynolds. As much as I’d like to rake them over the coals for such tomfoolery, I used the same method to tell a former girlfriend of mine that she should get checked for HIV, when in fact I had only given her herpes, so who am I to judge?
And as was the case for me, McCall admits that the whole experience was “embarrassing”:
Them taking me away in front of my daughter and my wife. They tore my house apart, they tore my car apart. I guess they were following me from the gym, and they said, ‘oh, it would be more embarrassing if you got arrested in front of your gym.’ Well I’d much rather be arrested in front of my gym, where my coach is a lawyer, compared to me being arrested at my house, in front of my neighbors and my daughter. I don’t know. Cops are stupid, and they really just wanted to come to the house and search the house. But, again, I’m not a drug dealer and I’m not being charged with selling drugs.
Although McCall managed to get out 13 days early from this 30-day sentence, the trials and tribulations of Sir Floyd Mayweather have taught us that McCall’s stay likely depleted him physically to the point that he will never fight again, so we might as well start breaking out his highlight reels and call it a day…
…what’s that? McCall didn’t act like a trifling little bitch in jail, but simply served the time he was required to? You don’t say:
I couldn’t sleep in there. I got maybe like an hour of sleep a day, for the first ten days. I remember just sitting up and I was like, ‘what the hell am I doing here. I don’t belong here. This isn’t where I’m supposed to be right now. I’m should be at the gym, at least getting punched in the face, if not punching someone in the face. I’m supposed to be doing better things with my life, and creating a life for my family.
There’s nothing set in stone. I wanted to fight in November, but I think because of the UFC 151 debacle, I wont be able to fight until January. But there’s a lot of flyweight fights coming up until then, so, I don’t mean to be mean, but hopefully someone breaks a pinky toe or something so I can step in and hurt somebody.
Here’s hoping, Ian. Let’s just hope that toe break doesn’t look anything like this.
Perhaps the only thing more awkward than watching a recently separated couple fight in public is watching a recently separated couple fight on Twitter. Aside from the fact that the 140 character limit on Twitter usually causes the feuding pair to throw clumsily abbreviated insults at each other, there’s the whole “Why the hell didn’t these two just send each other private, direct messages and leave the rest of us out of it?” factor. Add on the mental image of the two screaming at – and eventually crying in front of – their laptops/smartphones in a dark room, and Twitter beefs between ex-lovers make Warcraft flirting sessions look like dignified, everyday conversations. I’ve personally unfollowed more than a few people who’ve decided that Twitter was the best place to vent over failed relationships – as I’m sure many of you have as well.
What I’m getting at is that Jason “Mayhem” Miller, who was recently cut from the UFC, just got done bickering at former employer Dana White on Twitter. No, it surprisingly wasn’t that funny. Yes, it was just as cringe-worthy and pathetic as these instances tend to be. And yes, screen shots are available after the jump.
As these situations usually do, it started off with the bitter one who was broken up with randomly, “innocently” tweeting to the ex:
This guy? Awkward? Who’da thunk it?
Perhaps the only thing more awkward than watching a recently separated couple fight in public is watching a recently separated couple fight on Twitter. Aside from the fact that the 140 character limit on Twitter usually causes the feuding pair to throw clumsily abbreviated insults at each other, there’s the whole “Why the hell didn’t these two just send each other private, direct messages and leave the rest of us out of it?” factor. Add on the mental image of the two screaming at – and eventually crying in front of – their laptops/smartphones in a dark room, and Twitter beefs between ex-lovers make Warcraft flirting sessions look like dignified, everyday conversations. I’ve personally unfollowed more than a few people who’ve decided that Twitter was the best place to vent over failed relationships – as I’m sure many of you have as well.
What I’m getting at is that Jason “Mayhem” Miller, who was recently cut from the UFC, just got done bickering at former employer Dana White on Twitter. No, it surprisingly wasn’t that funny. Yes, it was just as cringe-worthy and pathetic as these instances tend to be. And yes, screen shots are available after the jump.
As these situations usually do, it started off with the bitter one who was broken up with randomly, “innocently” tweeting to the ex:
Props to BloodyElbow for getting most of these captured.
Come on, bro: The only way you can be more pathetic and transparent is if you said something along the lines of “I’m glad you fired me after three unforgettably bad performances because I’m so much stronger now!” and broke into a verse of Survivor…
Face, meet palm.
Now, as any guy who has ever been in this situation knows, you never reply to tweets from a crazy ex or any of your crazy ex’s friends. At least every guy who isn’t Dana White…
Terrible move, bro. Your seemingly playful response is about to unleash a full-blown tantrum in three…two…one…
Hell hath no fury like a pink wearing ex-fighter scorned. The only way to make this thing more awkward is to add on comments about what his ex looked like naked or accusations of drug and/or alcohol abuse…
But at least Dana White has learned that you never respond to the crazy ex, right?
At this point, if you aren’t staring into a half-empty glass of Four Loko and Everclear just hoping that these two will knock it off soon, then what’s it like not to have a crippling drinking problem? Fortunately, Dana White attempts to end this mess for us:
But this brannigan ain’t over yet, as far as Mayhem is concerned. Try not to act too surprised, but now Mayhem wants to “make peace” with The Baldfather.
You know, something tells me this one ends with Mayhem Miller going on a cheap tequila bender, changing into an old wedding dress, curling up into a ball on the floor and screaming “WHY DOESN’T HE LOVE ME?!” over and over again. You know, just a hunch.
But fortunately, Dana White has learned to never reply to the crazy ex and the crazy ex’s friends on Twitter from all of this, so that’s something, right?
Let’s get one thing straight, Kevin James has not exactly had the kind of career that would inspire a lot of confidence in his abilities as an actor. Sure, The King of Queens had it moments (not to mention all that Leah Remini goodness), but there is almost nothing that James can do to repair the mental anguish and self-inflicted bodily harm that Paul Blart: Mall Cop and Zookeeper were responsible for across the globe. We knew he was a big MMA fan, and seems like a pretty cool guy when he’s not squeezing out such 90 minute abortions as Grown Ups, I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, and…*checks IMDB*…GROWN UPS 2?!!
(Oh, the horror…)
So you can understand our trepidation when we awoke this morning to find the first trailer for James’ upcoming MMA film, Here Comes the Boom, waiting for us to absorb and dissect. Because, if we’re being completely honest, there haven’t been many great (or even good) MMA films to be released since the “boom” of the sport. The fact that the latest one was staring an overweight sitcom star who is basically box office cancer didn’t exactly inspire much hope either.
And honestly, now that we’ve actually seen the trailer, we’re kind of relieved. Kind of.
Check it out for yourselves after the jump and let us know what you think.
Let’s get one thing straight, Kevin James has not exactly had the kind of career that would inspire a lot of confidence in his abilities as an actor. Sure, The King of Queens had it moments (not to mention all that Leah Remini goodness), but there is almost nothing that James can do to repair the mental anguish and self-inflicted bodily harm that Paul Blart: Mall Cop and Zookeeper were responsible for across the globe. We knew he was a big MMA fan, and seems like a pretty cool guy when he’s not squeezing out such 90 minute abortions as Grown Ups, I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, and…*checks IMDB*…GROWN UPS 2?!!
(Oh, the horror…)
So you can understand our trepidation when we awoke this morning to find the first trailer for James’ upcoming MMA film, Here Comes the Boom, waiting for us to absorb and dissect. Because, if we’re being completely honest, there haven’t been many great (or even good) MMA films to be released since the “boom” of the sport. The fact that the latest one was staring an overweight sitcom star who is basically box office cancer didn’t exactly inspire much hope either.
And honestly, now that we’ve actually seen the trailer, we’re kind of relieved. Kind of.
Check it out for yourselves and let us know what you think.
In case the video doesn’t work for some of you, here’s the film’s plot, as scribed by ComingSoon:
In the comedy “Here Comes the Boom,” former collegiate wrester Scott Voss (Kevin James) is a 42-year-old apathetic biology teacher in a failing high school. When cutbacks threaten to cancel the music program and lay off its teacher (Henry Winkler,) Scott begins to raise money by moonlighting as a mixed martial arts fighter. Everyone thinks Scott is crazy – most of all the school nurse, Bella (Salma Hayek) – but in his quest, Scott gains something he never expected as he becomes a sensation that rallies the entire school.
The films stars such familiar faces as MMA legend Bas Rutten, recently released UFC fighter Jason “Mayhem” Miller (who channels Louis Gaudinot before getting violently KO’d), and the recently retired Krzysztof Soszynski (who pulls off a Superman punch all the way from Krypton at the 2:07 mark). It even includes some footage of “The Polish Experiment’s” fight with Brian Stann at UFC 97. And like we said, based on the trailer, the film doesn’t look all that bad. Sure, it’s no Warrior (which I have still yet to see) or even Redbelt (which was pretty awesome), but at least it’s not James smuggling an ape into a TGI Fridays, so that’s something right? Plus, Salma Hayek.
I don’t know, perhaps I’m just trying to have a more positive outlook on life.
Here Comes the Boom is scheduled to hit theaters on July 29th.
“I feel a little bit free, in a weird way…I know that sounds strange when I’ve devoted my entire life to fighting. I feel like life is unlocked for a whole new set of adventures…I don’t have the need to super-impress one person in particular and make them happy. I can focus on making myself happy. I don’t have the pressures of a commissioner chasing me around with a piss cup. I don’t have the pressures of everybody verbally abusing me for every one one of my missteps via social media. I feel like a weight is lifted…Every fighter gives the same answer when they say they’re retired. Pretty much every fighter says ‘I’m retired until I need money.’ But I’m a pretty smart dude, and I have a lot of avenues available to me.”
But at other times in interview, Miller’s down-in-the-dumps vibe came off as alarmingly self-destructive:
“I feel a little bit free, in a weird way…I know that sounds strange when I’ve devoted my entire life to fighting. I feel like life is unlocked for a whole new set of adventures…I don’t have the need to super-impress one person in particular and make them happy. I can focus on making myself happy. I don’t have the pressures of a commissioner chasing me around with a piss cup. I don’t have the pressures of everybody verbally abusing me for every one one of my missteps via social media. I feel like a weight is lifted…Every fighter gives the same answer when they say they’re retired. Pretty much every fighter says ‘I’m retired until I need money.’ But I’m a pretty smart dude, and I have a lot of avenues available to me.”
But at other times in interview, Miller’s down-in-the-dumps vibe came off as alarmingly self-destructive:
Yeah, I said I would [retire] and so I am. I didn’t get the job done and that’s what I’m saying. I’m done for right now. Who knows what the future holds but at the same time, what’s the point?…I’m looking for the next thrill. I’m thinking of just getting a life-insurance policy to be donated to charity and then just taking on some ultra-hazardous activities. Like, I’m gonna go jump off a bridge. [Helwani: “But jump off a bridge the safe way, right?”] With a condom on? Yeah, I was joking…I’m gonna BASE jump.
As for the “crazy shit backstage” that allegedly clinched his firing from the UFC, Miller explains that it was the result of a poorly-timed run-in with “Babysitter to the Stars” Burt Watson:
“It was my mask. Burt suddenly started yelling about my mask. I had a gas mask for the troops underneath my paper bag, and Burt started telling me right as I’m walking out for the fight. I’m trying to get focused instead of arguing about a paper bag. Maybe it was my fault for, I don’t know, I thought we had an understanding once I start walking out to the cage that now I’m working, but obviously we’re not on a playing field of mutual respect. I wish I would have heard about it before so it would be easier to deal with. But here I am walking to the cage, and suddenly I started getting yelled at. I’m like ‘what, I’m trying to focus here’.”
And so, Mayhem Miller rides off into the sunset, hopeful for what lies in front of him, even if it’s a tragically botched jump off a bridge. He didn’t quite go out on top, but at least he went out on his own terms, opting to skip the humiliating end-stage of many fighters’ careers where they’re fighting unknowns on regional cards and still getting KTFO’d. Personality goes a long way, but it’s not much of an advantage in a cage-fight; we support Miller’s retirement decision and look forward to his next cable-TV hosting gig.
