Sheila “The German Tank” Gaff scored her third-straight knockout victory on Friday night, when she dummied up Chute Boxe product Jennifer Maia in just 10 seconds at Cage Warriors Fighting Championship 4 in Dubai. Gaff’s strategy relied on the element of surprise; instead of returning Maia’s offer for a glove-tap at the beginning of the fight, Gaff swung an overhand right with lethal intentions, then fired punches and knees until she found Maia’s off-switch with a short right hook.
Not the worst cheap-shot we’ve seen, but it’s definitely in the mix. Gaff doesn’t seem to be a big fan of the glove-tap in general. For proof, check out her eight-second knockout of Hanna Sillen from last February after the jump, which begins and ends just as furiously…
Sheila “The German Tank” Gaff scored her third-straight knockout victory on Friday night, when she dummied up Chute Boxe product Jennifer Maia in just 10 seconds at Cage Warriors Fighting Championship 4 in Dubai. Gaff’s strategy relied on the element of surprise; instead of returning Maia’s offer for a glove-tap at the beginning of the fight, Gaff swung an overhand right with lethal intentions, then fired punches and knees until she found Maia’s off-switch with a short right hook.
Not the worst cheap-shot we’ve seen, but it’s definitely in the mix. Gaff doesn’t seem to be a big fan of the glove-tap in general. For proof, check out her eight-second knockout of Hanna Sillen from last February after the jump, which begins and ends just as furiously…
We’ve been watching people get knocked out for a long time, Potato Nation. So long, in fact, that it’s gotten to the point where we’ve begun to categorize these knockouts according to the manner in which a fighter’s lifeless body crumbles to the canvas. Is it insensitive, wrong, and perhaps a little too dark? Sure, but if you were worried about sensitivity and other womanly issues, you probably wouldn’t be here. And that’s why we love you as much as two heterosexual sadists can possibly love one another.
But be warned, the knockout that occurred last weekend at Stichting MMA Nederland, in a fight between Wiebe Brouwer and Nick Gorissen, is perhaps the oddest physical reaction to a knockout that we have ever seen, combining the falling tree knockout with Stefan Struve’s Matrix-esque routine against Travis Browne at UFC 130. It will forever change your outlook on the game (?) of limbo, and may cause simultaneous bouts of hysterical laughter and horrified nausea. It did for the CP interns we forced to watch it on a 24 hour loop, anyway.
We’ve been watching people get knocked out for a long time, Potato Nation. So long, in fact, that it’s gotten to the point where we’ve begun to categorize these knockouts according to the manner in which a fighter’s lifeless body crumbles to the canvas. Is it insensitive, wrong, and perhaps a little too dark? Sure, but if you were worried about sensitivity and other womanly issues, you probably wouldn’t be here. And that’s why we love you as much as two heterosexual sadists can possibly love one another.
But be warned, the knockout that occurred last weekend at Stichting MMA Nederland, in a fight between Wiebe Brouwer and Nick Gorissen, is perhaps the oddest physical reaction to a knockout that we have ever seen, combining the falling tree knockout with Stefan Struve’s Matrix-esque routine against Travis Browne at UFC 130. It will forever change your outlook on the game (?) of limbo, and may cause simultaneous bouts of hysterical laughter and horrified nausea. It did for the CP interns we forced to watch it on a 24 hour loop, anyway.
The beginning of the end comes around the 3:05 mark, when, after escaping an armbar that would have given Ronda Rousey a chick boner, Gorissen gets caught with a looping right hand that appears to liquefy his spine. He crashes to the mat, reminiscent of Zoila Gurgel vs. Rosi Sexton, and is luckily spared of any further punishment. Thank science Cecil Peoples wasn’t refereeing, or this video would have surely become Exhibit A in a future murder trial.
Absolutely brutal, ladies and gentlemen. It takes a few minutes before Gorissen is able to stand up, and a lot more before he is able walk away on his own power, but after that KO, we’re just happy that he could walk at all.
This video comes to us from Empire Fight League 4 in Montreal on Saturday, in which a back-and-forth amateur scrap between Jeremie Capony and Dan Lariviere ended suddenly — and ridiculously — in the second round. Watch as Lariviere attempts the kind of flying switch-kick that would have made him a viral Internet superstar if it connected. Oh, if only. Capony sees it coming and slides out of the way, leaving Lariviere to drop to the mat and land on his arm and shoulder, which somehow knocks him out. Either that, or chi knockouts are real, and this is the no-touch-KO equivalent of Fedor vs. Arlovski.
This video comes to us from Empire Fight League 4 in Montreal on Saturday, in which a back-and-forth amateur scrap between Jeremie Capony and Dan Lariviere ended suddenly — and ridiculously — in the second round. Watch as Lariviere attempts the kind of flying switch-kick that would have made him a viral Internet superstar if it connected. Oh, if only. Capony sees it coming and slides out of the way, leaving Lariviere to drop to the mat and land on his arm and shoulder, which somehow knocks him out. Either that, or chi knockouts are real, and this is the no-touch-KO equivalent of Fedor vs. Arlovski.
Well, there’s one way to deal with cauliflower ear. Today’s video comes to us courtesy of Fight Lab 20: MMA Cage Fights @ Coyote Joe’s in Charlotte, North Carolina. Making his professional debut, Kenneth Crowder took on 1-1 Shane Tyner in a bantamweight contest that provided more than its fair share of highlights, but we’re going to focus on one in particular. After completing a takedown midway through the second round, Crowder unleashed an elbow that shall forever be known as “The Nastiest Elbow Ever Thrown By Anyone Ever.” Trust us on this one.
Well, there’s one way to deal with cauliflower ear. Today’s video comes to us courtesy of Fight Lab 20: MMA Cage Fights @ Coyote Joe’s in Charlotte, North Carolina. Making his professional debut, Kenneth Crowder took on 1-1 Shane Tyner in a bantamweight contest that provided more than its fair share of highlights, but we’re going to focus on one in particular. After completing a takedown midway through the second round, Crowder unleashed an elbow that shall forever be known as “The Nastiest Elbow Ever Thrown By Anyone Ever.” Trust us on this one.
With the surgical accuracy of a laser in a James Bond movie, Crowder’s elbow sent a piece of Tyner’s ear flying across the ring like an ejected mouthpiece. And as it turns out, this would only be the beginning of this poor bastard’s suffering. Yes, despite having half of his ear sliced clean off, Tyner would go on to lose the fight BY UNANIMOUS DECISION. No word yet on whether or not the referee for this match was John Kramer, but let’s just assume it was for the time being. We have a feeling the money Tyner walked away with for his fearless efforts will not be enough to cover the hospital bill that inevitably followed, so everyone raise a glass and order a bucket of baby clams for lunch in this man’s honor. It’s the least we can do.
Can you believe that we didn’t include a single women’s match in our tribute to falling tree knockouts? Well, it’s time to give the ladies their due. Here’s a video of Rhiannon Thompson starching Bec Hyatt with a head-kick at a Brace for War event that’s so brutal (and beautiful), it’s like Hornbuckle vs. Gono and Young vs. Tate met and had a baby.
Can you believe that we didn’t include a single women’s match in our tribute to falling tree knockouts? Well, it’s time to give the ladies their due. Here’s a video of Rhiannon Thompson starching Bec Hyatt with a head-kick at a Brace for War event that’s so brutal (and beautiful), it’s like Hornbuckle vs. Gono and Young vs. Tate met and had a baby.
