UFC Betting Sites – The Best MMA Online Bookies
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(via reddit/MMA)
“Missed weight, eh buddy? Gotta cut another three-fifths of a pound? Sucks, man. You must be super thirsty right now, huh? Dehydrated? That’s just the pits. Anyway, I’m gonna go ahead and chug this coconut water in front of you. Damn that’s good, better have a little more. Yeah, that’s the stuff right there. Welp, good luck in the sauna bro.”
LMAO…props to Ian McCall for a truly classic dick-move.
(via reddit/MMA)
“Missed weight, eh buddy? Gotta cut another three-fifths of a pound? Sucks, man. You must be super thirsty right now, huh? Dehydrated? That’s just the pits. Anyway, I’m gonna go ahead and chug this coconut water in front of you. Damn that’s good, better have a little more. Yeah, that’s the stuff right there. Welp, good luck in the sauna bro.”
LMAO…props to Ian McCall for a truly classic dick-move.
(Props: ZombieProphet)
We know that some of you think we’re die-hard Bellator haters, simply because we have no problem calling a garbage show a garbage show. But believe us, we don’t go out looking for ways to embarrass America’s #2 MMA promotion — this stuff just has a way of finding us.
Like tonight at Bellator 130, for example. We were prepared to give Bobby Lashley a respectful pat on the back for running through his fifth consecutive non-Wiki opponent. But it was the way Lashley won that made us shake our damn heads.
The former WWE star and current TNA attraction faced off against undefeated British heavyweight Karl Etherington, who had come into the fight with a 9-0 record, and all wins coming in the first round — seven of which were earned in under a minute. On paper, Etherington is no can. He was also billed as a judo black belt, which is kind of hard to believe when you watch the GIF of the finish, in which the Brit tries to pull Lashley to the mat, loses his grip, and flops onto his stomach where Lashley bashes him until Etherington taps to strikes. Not exactly Rousey-esque.
For God’s sake, Coker, it’s time to give Lashley one of your real heavyweights. Like…uh…um…Joey Beltran? I have no idea. This is about as good as heavyweight MMA gets in Bellator, unfortunately. Full Bellator 130 results are after the jump, with links to GIFs of the finishes courtesy of the Zombie. Short version: Emanuel Newton defended his title against that guy, and Marloes Coenen won her Bellator debut against some lady.
(Props: ZombieProphet)
We know that some of you think we’re die-hard Bellator haters, simply because we have no problem calling a garbage show a garbage show. But believe us, we don’t go out looking for ways to embarrass America’s #2 MMA promotion — this stuff just has a way of finding us.
Like tonight at Bellator 130, for example. We were prepared to give Bobby Lashley a respectful pat on the back for running through his fifth consecutive non-Wiki opponent. But it was the way Lashley won that made us shake our damn heads.
The former WWE star and current TNA attraction faced off against undefeated British heavyweight Karl Etherington, who had come into the fight with a 9-0 record, and all wins coming in the first round — seven of which were earned in under a minute. On paper, Etherington is no can. He was also billed as a judo black belt, which is kind of hard to believe when you watch the GIF of the finish, in which the Brit tries to pull Lashley to the mat, loses his grip, and flops onto his stomach where Lashley bashes him until Etherington taps to strikes. Not exactly Rousey-esque.
For God’s sake, Coker, it’s time to give Lashley one of your real heavyweights. Like…uh…um…Joey Beltran? I have no idea. This is about as good as heavyweight MMA gets in Bellator, unfortunately. Full Bellator 130 results are after the jump, with links to GIFs of the finishes courtesy of the Zombie. Short version: Emanuel Newton defended his title against that guy, and Marloes Coenen won her Bellator debut against some lady.
MAIN CARD
– Emanuel Newton def. Linton Vassell via submission (rear-naked choke), 0:47 of round 5
– Bobby Lashley def. Karl Etherington via submission (punches), 1:31 of round 1
– Marloes Coenen def. Annalisa Bucci via submission (rear-naked choke), 0:57 of round 3
– Dave Jansen def. Rick Hawn via unanimous decision (29-28, 30-27 x 2)
PRELIMINARY CARD
– David Rickels vs. Davi Ramos
– Ricky Musgrave def. Joe Wilk via TKO, 2:45 of round 1
– Marcio Navarro def. Cody Carillo via submission (strikes), 2:09 of round 3
– Daniel Gallemore def. Gzim Selmani via TKO, 4:33 of round 2 …when Gallemore slugs Selmani in his fat belly, it’s just mean.
– Sam Oropeza def. Gary Tapusoa via TKO, 2:31 of round 1
– Darrion Caldwell def. Anthony Dizy via unanimous decision (30-27 x 3)
– Aaron Derrow def. Nate Jolly via unanimous decision (29-28 x 3)
– Alex Huddleston def. Derek Bohi via TKO, 4:04 of round 1
(The Hardcore Kid’s hardcore victory dance.)
(“The Pogo Stick of DOOM” / via Zombie Prophet)
Bellator 129 was really terrible — easily the worst event they’ve put on in a long time. We kind of knew it’d be atrocious when we saw there were more catchweight bouts than non catchweight bouts.
So, in true CagePotato fashion, we cut out the bullshit and are telling you only what you need to know.
What happened at the event?
A whole lot of nothing, really. If you’re interested, get the complete results after the jump.
(“The Pogo Stick of DOOM” / via Zombie Prophet)
Bellator 129 was really terrible — easily the worst event they’ve put on in a long time. We kind of knew it’d be atrocious when we saw there were more catchweight bouts than non catchweight bouts.
So, in true CagePotato fashion, we cut out the bullshit and are telling you only what you need to know.
What happened at the event?
A whole lot of nothing, really.
Paul Bradley defeated Josh Neer via smothering lay-and-pray decision. Neer was apparently pretty pissed off about it.
Houston Alexander and Virgil Zwicker fought to a draw. Alexander would’ve won the atrociously boring fight had he not intentionally headbutted Zwicker and lost a point for the foul.
Andre Santos defeated James Terry in the most forgettable fight ever.
But the card opened up with a finish: Joe Vedepo TKO’d Davin Clark.
And what’s the story with the GIF above?
That’s from the 168-pound catchweight fight between Jozette Cotton and Holly Lawson. If you ask us, the GIF is the most (and only) entertaining one of the night.
Here are the complete Bellator 129 results:
Main Card
Paul Bradley def. Josh Neer via unanimous decision (30-27, 30-27, 30-27)
Houston Alexander vs. Virgil Zwicker ruled majority draw (29-28 Alexander, 28-28, 28-28)
Andre Santos def. James Terry via unanimous decision (30-27, 30-27, 30-27)
Joe Vedepo def. Davin Clark via TKO (punches) – Round 3, 2:27
Preliminary Card
John DeVall def. Chris Lane via submission (triangle choke) – Round 1, 4:40
Eric Howser def. Tim Bazer via submission (elbows) – Round 1, 4:11
Michael McBride def. Kevin Morris via submission (rear-naked choke) – Round 1, 4:32
Martin Brown def. Bryan Corley via knockout (punches) – Round 2, 0:42
Jozette Cotton def. Holly Lawson unanimous decision (30-26, 30-27, 30-27)
Anthony Smith def. Brian Green via unanimous decision (29-28, 30-26, 30-26)
Victor Moreno def. Marcos Marquez via unanimous decision (30-27, 30-27, 30-27)
(All GIFs via ZombieProphet)
There’s only one good reason to watch ONE FC events — the chance to see a knockout that would be totally illegal on this side of the Pacific. Today in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, ONE FC 21 gave us two knockouts by way of completely brutal soccer kicks. Above, Stephen Langdown straight-up murders Raymond Tan with knees to the head on the ground and a pair of point-blank soccer kicks. Warning: It’s ugly. Below, Anatpong Bunrad crumples Marc Marcellinus with a teep to the gut, then uses his head to score the go-ahead goal.
After the jump: Ev Ting finishes Edward Kelly with a gnarly head-kick of the normal, standing-up variety.
(All GIFs via ZombieProphet)
There’s only one good reason to watch ONE FC events — the chance to see a knockout that would be totally illegal on this side of the Pacific. Today in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, ONE FC 21 gave us two knockouts by way of completely brutal soccer kicks. Above, Stephen Langdown straight-up murders Raymond Tan with knees to the head on the ground and a pair of point-blank soccer kicks. Warning: It’s ugly. Below, Anatpong Bunrad crumples Marc Marcellinus with a teep to the gut, then uses his head to score the go-ahead goal.
After the jump: Ev Ting finishes Edward Kelly with a gnarly head-kick of the normal, standing-up variety.
(Woah. He almost looked human there for a second.)
We know exactly two things about Rory MacDonald right now: He will “absolutely, positively, without a doubt” face the winner of Johny Hendricks vs. Robbie Lawler II for the welterweight title (and in Canada, no less!), and he is something of a novice when it comes to the art of the post-fight celebration.
The post-fight celebration is a crucial and oft overlooked aspect of mixed martial arts competition, serving as a triumphant final display of a given fighter’s dominance. As a male peacock displays its feathers to attract a mate, an MMA celebration likewise let’s every member of the opposite sex know that you are the Alpha Male, the pack leader, the mate with the most irresistible “plumage.”
Should Rory manage to defeat the winner of Hendricks vs. Lawler in his own backyard, he will need to bring a lot more to the table than “The Spastic Ape” seen above if he hopes to attract a premo Canadian mistress. With that in mind, here are a few celebrations he should consider working on…
The Bernie
A classic go-to at any wedding, birthday, or gala event, the Bernie would allow Rory to shed the notion that he is a stiff, soulless combination of gears and wires contained within a human skinsuit. He could even combine the Bernie with his pre-fight stare into the abyss for a truly haunting experience.
(Woah. He almost looked human there for a second.)
We know exactly two things about Rory MacDonald right now: He will “absolutely, positively, without a doubt” face the winner of Johny Hendricks vs. Robbie Lawler II for the welterweight title (and in Canada, no less!), and he is something of a novice when it comes to the art of the post-fight celebration.
The post-fight celebration is a crucial and oft overlooked aspect of mixed martial arts competition, serving as a triumphant final display of a given fighter’s dominance. As a male peacock displays its feathers to attract a mate, an MMA celebration likewise let’s every member of the opposite sex know that you are the Alpha Male, the pack leader, the mate with the most irresistible “plumage.”
Should Rory manage to defeat the winner of Hendricks vs. Lawler in his own backyard, he will need to bring a lot more to the table than “The Spastic Ape” seen above if he hopes to attract a premo Canadian mistress. With that in mind, here are a few celebrations he should consider working on…
The Bernie
A classic go-to at any wedding, birthday, or gala event, the Bernie would allow Rory to shed the notion that he is a stiff, soulless combination of gears and wires contained within a human skinsuit. He could even combine the Bernie with his pre-fight stare into the abyss for a truly haunting experience.
The Lambeau Leap
As we all know, Canadians are some of the most diehard MMA fans of them all. Whereas American fans rarely start filing in before the main card, Canadians treat FS1 and Fight Pass prelims like they are a goddamned Celine Dion concert on PCP. And what better way for MacDonald to truly connect to his fans than by borrowing a celebration from the most fan-friendly team of them all? Jose Aldo did it once and Brazil is basically the South Canada of MMA fans, so there’s no way this wouldn’t work. And so what if Aldo was nearly ripped apart by his voracious supporters; he earned a fan who would die for him in that moment and that’s really what this sport is all about.
The Jamie Varner
What’s that, you say Rory lacks the personality and brazen arrogance necessary to move the needle? Eh-SQUIDOOSH!!
The Jerk
En route to his unanimous decision victory over BJ Penn at UFC on FOX 5, MacDonald was nothing short of a dancing machine (emphasis on machine), tip-toeing and shim-shammying around Penn like he was less fighting a P4P great of the sport and more like he was back taking jazz tap lessons in his Grandmother’s basement. Word has it that upon viewing Rory’s sublime footwork, Frank Trigg renounced his nickname and attempted to commit suicide via handsaw to the foot.
Rory’s got moves, is what I’m trying to say, and “The Jerk” celebration would perhaps best harness the power of his incredibly nimble feets. Remember, post-fight celebrations are all about attracting the ladies, and nothing accomplishes that faster than moves like Jagger –the story of Johnny Castle has shown us so.
The Bethe Correia
Full disclosure: I don’t really want to see Rory attempt this, I’m just a big fan of this celebration and Bethe Correia in general.
The Huey Lewis
One of the most frustrating things about Rory Mac is his complete refusal to even address the notion that he might be a sociopathic serial killer. Between the, let’s call it meticulous nature of his appearance to his dead-eyed, emotionless demeanor, MacDonald often comes across as a real-life Patrick Bateman, and it would be in his best interest to start playing up this angle of his personality if he ever hopes to be a needle mover like Conor McGregor: Irish Cereal Character or Donald Cerrone: Human Beer Commercial.
We want to see you become a household name, Rory. You represent the emotionally closed-off devourer of worlds in all of us, so maybe give these post-fight celebrations a consideration. Or don’t. We’re not even here.
On Saturday night at KSW 28, Angolan lightweight Helson Henriquez nearly pulled off what MiddleEasy described as a “Showtime Shogun Punch.” You know, it’s that thing where you grab the fence and launch yourself into the air to land a diving punch into your opponent’s guard? And he would have gotten away with it too, if not for that meddling Anzor Azhiev (aka, the Polish dude on the mat), who landed a perfectly timed upkick to Henriquez’s shoulder, sending him into a tailspin. Henriquez went on to lose the fight by unanimous decision. Nevertheless, this remains the greatest “Yeah, But If That Thing Landed!” moment of 2014.
On Saturday night at KSW 28, Angolan lightweight Helson Henriquez nearly pulled off what MiddleEasy described as a “Showtime Shogun Punch.” You know, it’s that thing where you grab the fence and launch yourself into the air to land a diving punch into your opponent’s guard? And he would have gotten away with it too, if not for that meddling Anzor Azhiev (aka, the Polish dude on the mat), who landed a perfectly timed upkick to Henriquez’s shoulder, sending him into a tailspin. Henriquez went on to lose the fight by unanimous decision. Nevertheless, this remains the greatest “Yeah, But If That Thing Landed!” moment of 2014.
