Bellator XXXII: Who Wants to Win a Poster-Sized Check?

(I like how they put "Season #3 Tournament Purses" in the memo line, so that Cole doesn’t get confused when he’s going through his stack of $100,000 novelty-checks at home. PicProps: MMAFrenzy)
By ReX “Write Pride” Richardson
B…

Cole Konrad Bellator heavyweight champion 32 XXXII deathclutch
(I like how they put "Season #3 Tournament Purses" in the memo line, so that Cole doesn’t get confused when he’s going through his stack of $100,000 novelty-checks at home. PicProps: MMAFrenzy)

By ReX “Write Pride” Richardson

Bellator’s third season just came out of the seventh inning stretch, visiting the Kansas City Power & Light District with a couple of championship matches on hand and two more events on the calendar. Unfortunately, you probably missed it due to either incompetence or fuckery most foul; the event was broadcast late, if at all, by every Fox affiliate in the multiverse. On top of that, it appears that the Fox-Dish Network pissing match has gone into perpetual death overtime, so essentially I’m saying that sometimes these things happen in MMA, and I was unable to watch and then come tell you guys about it. Sorry, bro. Since I feel bad about missing the last event (Bellator XXXI.V, at Talking Pines Casino, BFE), I’ve included this drawing of a spider, plus some other stuff after the jump.

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TUF 12.5 Recap: Sore Winners

(Hick-Jitsu is no match for Drunken French Muay Thai.)
Alex Caceres has gone full heel. For some reason, he decides to put bleach in Nam Phan’s fabric softener. Michael Johnson borrows it to do a load of delicates, and freaks out when he learns the t…

Cody McKenzie Jean Charles Skarbowsky
(Hick-Jitsu is no match for Drunken French Muay Thai.)

Alex Caceres has gone full heel. For some reason, he decides to put bleach in Nam Phan‘s fabric softener. Michael Johnson borrows it to do a load of delicates, and freaks out when he learns the truth. "Why would you run the risk of fuckin’ up someone’s whole wardrobe like that?" he asks. Caceres explains that it was meant for Nam, which begs the question — what the hell did Nam Phan ever do to you, bro? "I got a love/hate personality," Caceres says later. "That’s why I don’t have many friends." 

As Team GSP rides to practice, Cody McKenzie spits dip-juice into an empty Red Bull can. It’s the most country thing I’ve ever seen in my life.

GSP brings in another special guest for his guys. Very special. Jean Charles Skarbowsky is a French kickboxing savant who sleeps three hours a night and gets drunk before every practice. Georges advises the guys that if you respect him, he’ll respect you; if you go hard to prove a point, he’ll kill you. "Please be careful, he had a long ride from Paris to get here," GSP says. Hmm, he doesn’t look like much. But there he is, tossing around the entire team and dropping everybody with liver shots. "You cannot have the same lifestyle as Jean Charles and be an MMA fighter. In Thailand they smoke and drink and fight every day." And let’s not even get into the transsexual thing…

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TUF 12.4 Recap: Nerds That Talk Like Robots

(…Only I didn’t say "fudge." I said the word. The big one. The queen mother of dirty words. The f-dash-dash-dash word…) 
Team GSP is basking in Michael Johnson’s victory, and Mike Tyson is in a reflective mood. Iron Mike says the f…

Sevak Magakian TUF 12 Ultimate Fighter Armenian
(…Only I didn’t say "fudge." I said the word. The big one. The queen mother of dirty words. The f-dash-dash-dash word

Team GSP is basking in Michael Johnson’s victory, and Mike Tyson is in a reflective mood. Iron Mike says the fight game is about who’s smarter. "Confidence breeds success, and success breeds confidence…confidence applied properly surpasses genius." Also, how you conduct yourself in the cage reflects on how you conduct yourself in life. Between him, Greg Jackson, and John Danaher, the team is stacked with philosophers.

After two losses, Team Koscheck is fired up to get revenge on Team GSP. "The harder you work now, the later you get rewarded," Josh Koscheck says, probably meaning to say "the more you get rewarded later." He also pronounces "especially" as "ekspecially" at one point. We’ll see if these Titoisms become a trend. 

During the Johnson/Wilkinson fight, Alex "Bruce Leroy" Caceres was a little too supportive in the bleachers, screaming "Beat the shit out of him! Fuck him up!" to MJ. Some of the guys don’t like how Caceres seemed to wish harm upon one of his housemates. I mean, they’re all in this together, right? They all came to the house to make friends? Anyway, the guys have a little shit-talking session about it. "That’s disrespectful, bro," says Sevak "The Armenian Stereotype" Magakian. "He’s a stupid, ignorant kid," Jeff Lentz says, bitterly.

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TUF 12.3 Recap: Mike Tyson’s Tap-Out!!

(The beginning of the Johnson/Wilkinson battle from last night. You can watch the rest here. Props: SignofBelief)
Alex "Bruce Leroy" Caceres may have impressed us in last week’s fight, but he’s making no friends in the house by bragging …

(The beginning of the Johnson/Wilkinson battle from last night. You can watch the rest here. Props: SignofBelief)

Alex "Bruce Leroy" Caceres may have impressed us in last week’s fight, but he’s making no friends in the house by bragging about his victory non-stop. While hanging out with the defeated Jeff Lentz, he says that Jeff may have been "underesterating my talents and skills," and claims that every head kick bounced off his afro. Lentz manages to avoid strangling the bastard, but the other TUF guys are quickly losing patience.

GSP brings in wrestling world champion Guivi "Gia" Sissaouri, to work with his squad. Homeboy is sick on the mat. It’s a great little master-class for the guys, but Georges has another visitor coming in later that will make Gia look like small potatoes. (Hint: Face tattoos, tigers.)

Down 0-1, Koscheck is playing catch-up. His fighters already seem to be breaking down, physically and emotionally, so Kos makes it clear that they need to toughen up and quit ass-dragging in practice. Training seems to improve after that.

It’s fight announcement time, and since Team GSP won last week, they retain control of the picks. St. Pierre selects Michael Johnson (his craftily-obtained #1 draft pick) against Aaron Wilkinson (Koscheck’s #6 pick??). GSP is obviously looking to take Koscheck’s heart with a brutal victory, but is it a wise strategy to waste your ace on the other team’s weakest link? (Keep in mind that Jeff Lentz was Team Koscheck’s #7 pick.) Still, a badass wrestler vs. a British guy. This seems gift-wrapped for the red team.

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Chris Lytle Dominates Matt Serra in Rematch: UFC 119 Recap

In late 2006 Matt Serra and Chris Lytle faced off in the octagon for the welterweight finale of “The Ultimate Fighter 4: The Comeback” on Spike TV. Season four of the popular television program featured established Ultimate Fighting Champio…

In late 2006 Matt Serra and Chris Lytle faced off in the octagon for the welterweight finale of “The Ultimate Fighter 4: The Comeback” on Spike TV. Season four of the popular television program featured established Ultimate Fighting Championship fighters that had yet to win a UFC title. Serra defeated Lytle via a split decision. […]

UFC Betting

Chris Lytle Dominates Matt Serra in Rematch: UFC 119 Recap

UFC 119 Recap: Matt Mitrione Victorious Over Joey Beltran

Ultimate Fighting Championship 119 started with an entertaining bout as former Purdue football star and current Indiana resident Matt “Meathead” Mitrione faced off against Joey “Mexicutioner” Beltran.
Entering this fight, Mitrio…

Ultimate Fighting Championship 119 started with an entertaining bout as former Purdue football star and current Indiana resident Matt “Meathead” Mitrione faced off against Joey “Mexicutioner” Beltran.
Entering this fight, Mitrione, with two mixed martial arts battles, was clearly at a disadvantage in the experience department to Beltran who had been involved in 15 MMA bouts. […]

UFC Betting

UFC 119 Recap: Matt Mitrione Victorious Over Joey Beltran